Drug testing

GrayM

Hi just wondering if anyone can help. I'm back in court in a few weeks and I'm asking for my supervised visits to be changed to unsupervised I hate seeing my kid in my exs house she's my daughter I should be allowed take her where ever I want when ever I want but that's not the case. This will be my third time in court in 12 weeks was denied guardianship at first one and granted supervised access 2 hrs once a week, second time we did maintenance an access stayed the same. I'm turning up every week sometime sa little late depending on traffic etc. I know she's gonna ask for me to be drug tested I do drugs so will fail the test but was just wondering if the judge can make me do one and what happens if I fail cheers.

ohnonotgmail

not legal advice just a relevant news story https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/courts/father-s-fight-for-access-among-cases-at-dublin-circuit-family-court-1.1870062

rainemac

To be fair the OP admitted to taking drugs. That news link was he said she said with no outcome.. dont see the revelance..

ohnonotgmail

rainemac wrote: »

To be fair the OP admitted to taking drugs. That news link was he said she said with no outcome.. dont see the revelance..

the OP asked if a positive test can affect his access to his child. i believe this part of the article is relevant

Judge Faherty refused the appeal, but ordered the father to take a test for cannabis use and said she’d change access if it came back positive.

rainemac

Apologies I obv missed that when I scanned the article.

GrayM

Thanks for the reply I'm just gonna have to hope I can't be made do one an if asked refuse an just hope it goes my way. She also wants me to do a parenting course and anger management but I doubt a judge will make me do either of them. Plus does anyone know if I can reduce maintence right now it's €30 but I know she's gonna ask for more and I'm only social welfare so can't really be paying loads cheers.

Really Interested

GrayM wrote: »

Thanks for the reply I'm just gonna have to hope I can't be made do one an if asked refuse an just hope it goes my way. She also wants me to do a parenting course and anger management but I doubt a judge will make me do either of them. Plus does anyone know if I can reduce maintence right now it's €30 but I know she's gonna ask for more and I'm only social welfare so can't really be paying loads cheers.

You are taking the piss? Right?

Lady is a tramp

Look it is the most condescending patronising thing in the world to ask someone in addiction to do a parenting or anger management course. Chances are they care and love other people (like their children) far too much.

Alcoholics/addicts are people-pleasers. Yeah we'll do every bit of research in the world to know how to be better parents. That's not the problem here.

Lady is a tramp

Family court judges are a law unto themselves. Of course they could vary access based on results. And yeah it's probably best for the child's welfare if they do.

The OP is not in the wrong to be at least trying, and should be given credit for that much.

sunny2004

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Look it is the most condescending patronising thing in the world to ask someone in addiction to do a parenting or anger management course. Chances are they care and love other people (like their children) far too much.

Alcoholics/addicts are people-pleasers. Yeah we'll do every bit of research in the world to know how to be better parents. That's not the problem here.

He's an addict ? when did he say that ?

sunny2004

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Family court judges are a law unto themselves. Of course they could vary access based on results. And yeah it's probably best for the child's welfare if they do.

The OP is not in the wrong to be at least trying, and should be given credit for that much.

He's trying hard, here is his post from yesterday..

Hi not sure where to post this but here goes. I'm back in court in a few weeks I brought my ex girlfriend to court for access joint custody and guardianship. We broke up months before our daughter was born and had no contact till she text to say she was in labour but I wasn't allowed up until visiting hours I didn't agree an long story short there was a little incident in the hospital when I tried getting up. I seen my daughter the next day she was perfect. We haven't had a good relationship at all she says I have anger problems and do drugs I don't drink so I sometimes get high no big deal an none of her business. We tried mediation an I felt like I was being screwed over so the mediator suggested we meet in a public place as all visits had been supervised we did it went awful we had a huge argument an I said some things I shouldn't have. She got a safety an protectoin order against me I stayed away until our court date as I wasn't sure what I would do I got supervised visits and denied guardianship we went back a few weeks later an we did maintenance an access stayed the same. I've done all I've been asked might have been late a few times an missed 1-2 payments. I'm looking for unspervised visits now take her out with me an then to my parents. She has no not unless I get drug tested anger management and do a parenting course as I've no relationship with our daughter she does cry while I'm there but don't all babies. My question is can a judge make me do a drug test an what happens if I fail cause I probably will.

Owryan

Judges have no problem ordering parent(s) to participate on parenting or other courses if they feel it is warranted.

Doing drugs is obviously going to impact how a judge views you as a parental and your sense of responsibility. You have access so work with that. At least it's not held in a tusla office I ve seen them there and it can be unpleasant for all parties.

If you are serious about being a part of your child's life show the judge you are serious, Ditch the drugs and then look for a change to the access.

mick.oleary

Lady is a tramp wrote: »

Look it is the most condescending patronising thing in the world to ask someone in addiction to do a parenting or anger management course. Chances are they care and love other people (like their children) far too much.

Mod deletion That's not the problem here.

Alcoholics/addicts are people pleasers?!

Mod deletion

Addicts are self centred and telling them otherwise does not do them any favours. They might very well be good people beneath their problems but we should encourage them to bring out that part of themselves and not be content with "you are good underneath it all".

By the way OP, if I had a kid I would be embarrassed to try skirt around a drugs test. I would be copping myself on so the kid does not end up having to deal with the consequences of a parent ODing.

arayess

GrayM wrote: »

Hi just wondering if anyone can help. I'm back in court in a few weeks and I'm asking for my supervised visits to be changed to unsupervised I hate seeing my kid in my exs house she's my daughter I should be allowed take her where ever I want when ever I want but that's not the case. This will be my third time in court in 12 weeks was denied guardianship at first one and granted supervised access 2 hrs once a week, second time we did maintenance an access stayed the same. I'm turning up every week sometime sa little late depending on traffic etc. I know she's gonna ask for me to be drug tested I do drugs so will fail the test but was just wondering if the judge can make me do one and what happens if I fail cheers.

short answer, depends on the judge.

assume "she" is your ex.

because your ex requests it, it doesn't mean anything.
I've was in family court a lot (2 years solid..)
Judges don't like the he said/she said stuff....is there any evidence that your drug taking is problematic.? like have you been arrested or something like that.
my ex said loads of thing about me, court didn't want to know.

You don't mention what type of drugs...why can't you stop taking them for a while....

btw... you won't be pissing in a jar in court...court would never lower itself to something like that...most likely you'll be sent to an agency the court selects
I'm not sure what the waiting time for that is.
You have plenty of time to clean your system.

or you could just admit to occasional drugs use , mighnt look good but unlikely - on it's own you will lose access to your kid unless you were dependent.

Although if it's part of a wider picture who knows...depends on the judge.
sorry can't be more precise but family court is tossing a coin.

But one thing you can help , be on fcuking time. every time. you have no excuse on that front. arrive an hour earlier if needs be...being late make you look like a gob****e to the judge.

GrayM

I'm not an addict I do most days but I don't drink so and it's only cannabis I do no hard stuff and never before I see my kid. My ex seen me do it and says she's smelled it off me when I've come to visit but that's not true she can't prove any off it. I've made some threats to her hence the safety order but that's up as well an I don't think she'll get another one as I've not spoken to her because of it won't have a proper conversation till it's gone because anything I say she'll use against me. The judge said I had to change an learn patience an it's a slow process but does anyone know how long supervised visits could go on for im not sure how long I can keep it up for. Just hate being in her house an my daughter constantly crying so I have to keep asking for her to come in an settle her sometime she has to stay for the whole visit her dad does the supervised visits he's alright but she's my daughter I should be able take her. I appreciate all the advice.

sunny2004

Stop smoking, stop for a month, get your **** together..

If you don't get this then god help you man.

Man up and do it for your daughter.

hullaballoo

Sorry, OP, I'm not seeing any legal discussion angle here. It's an out-and-out request for legal advice but in order to get legal advice, you need the services of a legal professional.

Thread closed.

Sono

take the poster's advice above, stop smoking the cannabis and maybe concentrate on being a better parent. Which is more important smoking every day or seeing your kids?