Hate my job!

ladam

I'm a nanny so once I went on maternity the family I was with had to get someone new. I loved that family and my job. I found a new family and went back to work when my baby was 5and a half months. I've been in the job a few months now and I'm so miserable. I hate the job, I'm not treated very well at all or paid very well. Was meant to be a 4 day week but that hasnt happened so I'm 5 full days. I do bring my baby a couple of days but the children I mind are very demanding and mine is quite a content baby so gets neglected almost.
As well as hating the job itself I hate being back in work. I hate giving other children my attention. I hate not being able to do things with my baby. I'm really miserable and feel like it's taking over my life. I'm upset each night thinking about work and every morning I'm a mess. I'm finding I'm down more than anything else now. I thought it would get easier but it isn't. I'm constantly on the look out for a new job but nothing has come up that is worth leaving. I feel extremely guilty that I can't give my baby the attention I should. I regret going back so early as well. My partner is being super supportive and has said to leave but I just know that will put so much pressure on him financially.
I don't even know what advice I'm looking for , feel like I need to just rant...

LegacyUser

I'm in a similar position to yourself doing childminding expect I don't have my own baby or children to look out for and I will say thank god to that. I used to love what I do and to some degree I still do but I absolutely hate it now. I hate it so much. It's gone above and beyond what I ever signed up to do. Originally it was supposed to be part time hours for 200 euro a week. Now it's gone into full time days withoit the pay to match. Not only that, more and more is expected of me. An avalanche of pure sh1t built up on every work top in the kitchen faces me every morning. Honest to god, the people I work for don't even lift a plate. I'm expected to do the laundry too and I hate it. It doesn't make sense for me to work like this. To work for so long for so little. I can't even afford to move out of my parents house. Not only that there is jobs and duties for me to do at home and so much gets neglected. Not only that, their social life is becoming more and more important for the couple I work for and they call on me more and more for weekends and sulk when I'm not available.

It's only now I'm sitting down to my first cup of tea all day and I've been working since 9. I keep thinking any other job would have me home and out the door at this stage and pay me properly too.

Honestly, there's people who have children who really shouldn't have had them.

I've been looking for other work but it's hard.

Airyfairy12

Can you leave and get some kind of government funding? Jobseekers or apply for the homemaker's scheme?

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
I really feel for you. It sounds like you definitely need a change:
- is it possible to be more firm with the kids you're minding so they know the boundaries and you'd be more free to give your little one equal attention?
Or
- could you do a budget out for your OH's salary and see where ye could cut back? Maybe you'd be able to cut back and take 3 or 4 months off?

Hope things improve for you.

ladam

Yeah I used to love what I did, loved being part of the children's life and forming bonds. But maybe I was lucky with the families I had before. Now I just feel undervalued and like they think I am beneath them.
There's also alot more jobs than originally agreed, they want child minder, cook, cleaner and I'm not getting paid enough for even 1 of them.

I'm not sure if I'm entitled to anything and don't know how to even find out. I found out they hadn't paid my tax even though was been taken from my wages so probably havnt built up tax credits after maternity leave!
I think we will have to sit down and look where we can cut back because it's not worth this.
Thanks for the reply

Airyfairy12

ladam wrote: »

Yeah I used to love what I did, loved being part of the children's life and forming bonds. But maybe I was lucky with the families I had before. Now I just feel undervalued and like they think I am beneath them.
There's also alot more jobs than originally agreed, they want child minder, cook, cleaner and I'm not getting paid enough for even 1 of them.

I'm not sure if I'm entitled to anything and don't know how to even find out. I found out they hadn't paid my tax even though was been taken from my wages so probably havnt built up tax credits after maternity leave!
I think we will have to sit down and look where we can cut back because it's not worth this.
Thanks for the reply

Just ask in your local social welfare or intreo office, you'll be entitled to something. Theres plenty of people living off social welfare full time. Its worth a try.

ncmc

Could you leave and mind a child or two in your own home? I think you can earn up to 14k without paying tax. It sounds like you're being treated like a skivvy, no job is worth that. At least if you were minding at home, you wouldn't be responsible for other people's laundry or washing. If leaving the job isn't an option then you need to sit the parents down and have a serious chat about boundaries and your duties. How did you come to be working 5 days instead of 4? Did your pay increase to reflect that? Sounds like they're just taking the piss to be honest.

Tigger99

Could you not just look for another family?

swaner

I understand you man...

Paddy Cow

ladam wrote: »

Yeah I used to love what I did, loved being part of the children's life and forming bonds. But maybe I was lucky with the families I had before. Now I just feel undervalued and like they think I am beneath them.
There's also alot more jobs than originally agreed, they want child minder, cook, cleaner and I'm not getting paid enough for even 1 of them.

I'm not sure if I'm entitled to anything and don't know how to even find out. I found out they hadn't paid my tax even though was been taken from my wages so probably havnt built up tax credits after maternity leave!
I think we will have to sit down and look where we can cut back because it's not worth this.
Thanks for the reply

That's not just taking the p!ss, that's illegal. They sound like the type of as$holes where the harder you work, the more they take advantage.

The idea of minding children in your own home seems the best solution. You'd still be earning and spending all day with your child.

tcif

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Can you leave and get some kind of government funding? paid out of other workers pockets?

Because it isn't the governments money, you know, it's out of the pocket of everyone who works and pays taxes.

A lot of us work jobs we don't like, or in places where we're not treated well, but the answer isn't to throw in the towel and expect the next person to pay our bills for us. Fair play to ladam, and to the first responder unregistered.no.name who really sounds like they're getting it rough, they're hanging in there and trying to look for other work and not just jacking in a paying job they don't like and expecting someone else to pick up the tab.

Airyfairy12

tcif wrote: »

Because it isn't the governments money, you know, it's out of the pocket of everyone who works and pays taxes.

A lot of us work jobs we don't like, or in places where we're not treated well, but the answer isn't to throw in the towel and expect the next person to pay our bills for us. Fair play to ladam, and to the first responder unregistered.no.name who really sounds like they're getting it rough, they're hanging in there and trying to look for other work and not just jacking in a paying job they don't like and expecting someone else to pick up the tab.

I actually love seeing my taxes going to people like the OP and others who genuinely need it, thats what its there for. I suppose you sit idly by as politicians give themselves thousands in bonuses and rises, let international companies away with paying billions in taxes but begrudge a poor mother trying to find a middle ground to take care of her little baby and be in a position to financially support herself. She's entitled to financial help if she wants to be a stay at home parent, which is a full time job in itself.

tcif

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

I actually love seeing my taxes going to people like the OP and others who genuinely need it, thats what its there for. I suppose you sit idly by as politicians give themselves thousands in bonuses and rises, let international companies away with paying billions in taxes but begrudge a poor mother trying to find a middle ground to take care of her little baby and be in a position to financially support herself. She's entitled to financial help if she wants to be a stay at home parent, which is a full time job in itself.

There's absolutely no basis for any of the things you "suppose" about me and you're wrong on all fronts. I have never sat idly by in my life and I believe completely in the State helping people who need it so I have no idea how or why you're leaping to those conclusions about me.

Where we do disagree is on the idea of entitlement. I don't know any working parents (which is pretty much everyone in my family/social/work circles) who would not prefer at least one parent to be in a position to stay at home to spend more time with their children, especially when they're young. But the financial reality is that, for the vast majority, one income doesn't pay the bills so they have to carry on working and I don't see why they should be expected to forego the time with their kids to support someone else who feels entitled to just quit work to stay home with theirs.

At the end of the day, there's only so much in the Social Welfare pot and it should be there for the people who need it, not the ones who simply feel entitled to it. Big difference.

Airyfairy12

tcif wrote: »

There's absolutely no basis for any of the things you "suppose" about me and you're wrong on all fronts. I have never sat idly by in my life and I believe completely in the State helping people who need it so I have no idea how or why you're leaping to those conclusions about me.

Where we do disagree is on the idea of entitlement. I don't know any working parents (which is pretty much everyone in my family/social/work circles) who would not prefer at least one parent to be in a position to stay at home to spend more time with their children, especially when they're young. But the financial reality is that, for the vast majority, one income doesn't pay the bills so they have to carry on working and I don't see why they should be expected to forego the time with their kids to support someone else who feels entitled to just quit work to stay home with theirs.

At the end of the day, there's only so much in the Social Welfare pot and it should be there for the people who need it, not the ones who simply feel entitled to it. Big difference.

First of all you sound incredibly bitter.

Secondly anyone who needs it is entitled to it. The OP is entitled to it, just like you would be if you were in hard times or found yourself trying to support a small baby while working full time for 5 euro an hour... or what classes someone as 'entitled' in your book? I suppose the homeless are lazy and anyone unemployed is a waster.

tcif

Airyfairy12, your remarks are getting increasingly personal with assumptions about me that are off base and off topic for the OP and I'm not going down that road. I think we've both made ourselves clear so let's just leave it at that, shall we?