Ideal wedding from guest's perspective (Mod warning in 1st post)

Ursus Horribilis

If the day was more compressed and there were no speeches I'd be happy out. We had a conversation about this in work recently and it turns out that quite a few people have gone home for the gap between the end of the ceremony and the dinner. It's a long drawn-out day, especially if you're not drinking. I also dislike bands who are trying to blow out the walls of the room with their loud music.

Professor Moriarty

I'd prefer not to be invited.

beertons

I'd say the best pressies would be a set of copper pots and pans, or a good set of knives.

wexpat girl

cactusgal wrote: »

I'd be similar to most posters here. The nicest wedding I was at recently was in a big old house in a beautiful country location, started Sat at 6 pm (they did ceremony and photos with close family the day before), buffet style dinner so you could move around and chat to loads of people, band playing but no so loud that you couldn't sit and have a chat if that's what you preferred. Around 100 people there. No second day.

I don't enjoy typical Irish weddings as they're often quite samey and it's too long a day for me, but I'm 40 and have been to a lot of them, so they novelty has worn off - this may be an age thing.

Totally agree with this. This is why we have planned a 2 part day with family close friends for ceremony and meal followed by an evening do for about another 100 friends and cousins. I'm also 40 and have been to 30+ weddings and am so tired of the traditional format whereby the majority are the same.

wexpat girl

Repeat post but got no response to my thread. Thought it might fit here....

We are having civil ceremony and reception in one place, not hotel. Plan ATM is :-
1pm ceremony. Shouldn't be more than 30min.
Photos after on site.
2pm drinks and canapés
3-5ish buffet dinner 60ppl
6pm day Caterers gone
7pm drinks reception for evening guests - another 100.
8pm bbq
9pm food finished ( bbq ppl said they'd feed 150 in 30mins so let's make that an hour) Everyone will get a plate of a mix of
9pm music (musician will also dj and has suggested that he do some dj in background as people eating before he plays his live stuff, open minded about this, finer details I'd say)

Questions
Given the short window between drinks reception and main meal, is canapés OTT cos will be eating an hour later? Was hoping to have 3 courses. Caterer thinks with canapés offered so soon before that starters are unnecessary. But Oh thinks we need starters. Caterer thinks we've loads of food.
We'll have to allow for all 50 eating again at 8 altho my parents / aunts prob won't eat again that soon. Given some may not want food again at 8pm should we have something again about 11pm? Even if only sandwiches? Our event owner said pans of bread and crisps is v popular now. Wouldn't be for me but... Maybe do cake then too?

Any thoughts welcome on the logistics! Thanks.

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Crisp sandwiches are very popular, where I've seen it done the problem was there not being enough as people go mad for it and those not on the ball don't have much left to eat when they go over to get some.

PhoenixParker

wexpat girl wrote: »

Repeat post but got no response to my thread. Thought it might fit here....

We are having civil ceremony and reception in one place, not hotel. Plan ATM is :-
1pm ceremony. Shouldn't be more than 30min.
Photos after on site.
2pm drinks and canapés
3-5ish buffet dinner 60ppl
6pm day Caterers gone
7pm drinks reception for evening guests - another 100.
8pm bbq
9pm food finished ( bbq ppl said they'd feed 150 in 30mins so let's make that an hour) Everyone will get a plate of a mix of
9pm music (musician will also dj and has suggested that he do some dj in background as people eating before he plays his live stuff, open minded about this, finer details I'd say)

Questions
Given the short window between drinks reception and main meal, is canapés OTT cos will be eating an hour later? Was hoping to have 3 courses. Caterer thinks with canapés offered so soon before that starters are unnecessary. But Oh thinks we need starters. Caterer thinks we've loads of food.
We'll have to allow for all 50 eating again at 8 altho my parents / aunts prob won't eat again that soon. Given some may not want food again at 8pm should we have something again about 11pm? Even if only sandwiches? Our event owner said pans of bread and crisps is v popular now. Wouldn't be for me but... Maybe do cake then too?

Any thoughts welcome on the logistics! Thanks.

It'll work fine but might not be the best solution.
1pm is lunchtime which means people are likely to be at least peckish if not hungry. Yes they'll stock up at breakfast but between the logistics of getting ready and to the venue they'll be getting hungry by the time the ceremony is done. 3-5 is also kind of an awkward time for a meal. There's enough food going on in your plans that none of it's really a problem, but I'd consider:

1) Canapés & drinks before the ceremony: needs to be managed so people aren't munching through the ceremony and the details checked with the registrar (think they have something about drinking & ceremonies). You could then do photos, more mingling/drinks and start the buffet closer to 230, i.e. More lunchtime, but also with a gap between the canapés & buffet.

2) get most photos done before the ceremony, again use that to start the buffet earlier and leave out the canapés. You could have canapés as your evening guests arrive or late instead.

3) if you leave the buffet at 3, then consider BBQ at more like 830 then 8. Bear in mind your evening guests will be waiting on dinner though.

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Blut2

Crisp sandwiches are atrocious. You need something actually filling and nutritious in there to fill people up. Some meat or cheese or something high in protein at the least.

SarahS2013

We're planning something a little different...

1pm City Hall Ceremony
1.45pm Canapes and Champagne in City Hall
3pm Leave City Hall
3.30pm Arrive Reception Venue (Dublin City also)
3.30pm Prosecco reception and canapes (loads of them)
5pm Another round of canapes and fire up the outdoor BBQ
6/6.30pm BBQ of steaks, chicken skewers, burgers and loads of salad options (wine and beer also on tap for the guests)
7.30pm Fancy nibbles (sandwiches etc)
8pm Dessert canapes circulated or a dessert table
11pm Night food

We're not into the whole "sit down meal" thing and want everyone to have a really relaxed and fun day. We want a party, not a "wedding" like everyone else has.

We're also choosing Dublin City as that's where most of the guests are from so there's no pressure to pay for expensive accommodation.

baby and crumble

Lads that's a mad amount of food. Leaving only 90 minutes in between a BBQ and sandwiches seems crazy to me.

AFAIK our day will be going something like:

4.30pm ceremony
5pm prosecco reception with canapes
6pm dinner
10.30/11pm (ish) evening food

Anything more than that seems wasteful to me- how could your guests eat that much? My brothers wedding was similar to that, food at every corner but while it was great it was way too much.

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baby and crumble

Maybe. I just think it's really wasteful. To each their own though!

Ann_Landers

baby and crumble wrote: »

Lads that's a mad amount of food. Leaving only 90 minutes in between a BBQ and sandwiches seems crazy to me.

Anything more than that seems wasteful to me- how could your guests eat that much?

I know, with that much food, I wouldn't have much appetite for the main meal which would be a shame. You want people anticipating the main meal a bit. I'm not in the camp of "the more food the better!".

Any wedding I've been at has had nibbles around two hours hours before dinner. It's always been plenty. Realistically how much closer in time should the round of food before dinner be?

Basically, hunger has never been an issue for me at weddings. Quite the opposite, in fact. I'm always completely stuffed. And I don't have the appetite of a sparrow, I can put away a lot of food.

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freshpopcorn

A very nice wedding is when you know a couple is getting married and you know you'll be invited and all of a sudden you get a text saying we got married this evening in XXXX!

GingerLily

freshpopcorn wrote: »

A very nice wedding is when you know a couple is getting married and you know you'll be invited and all of a sudden you get a text saying we got married this evening in XXXX!

I would be a little disappointed if it was a close friend if mine who did that, but of course I would respect there wishes.

So if your ideal wedding is one that no one gets invited to - I'm assuming you don't like weddings? Which begs the questions why you hang around the wedding forum?

freshpopcorn

GingerLily wrote: »

I would be a little disappointed if it was a close friend if mine who did that, but of course I would respect there wishes.

So if your ideal wedding is one that no one gets invited to - I'm assuming you don't like weddings? Which begs the questions why you hang around the wedding forum?

I like a nice casually church wedding with a nice meal afterwords. I don't like all this flapping about candy cart, crisp sandwiches, prosseco receptions, BBQ'S,photo both, etc. This is nearly why I like hearing people went off and got married somewhere else!

GingerLily

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I like a nice casually church wedding with a nice meal afterwords. I don't like all this flapping about candy cart, crisp sandwiches, prosseco receptions, BBQ'S,photo both, etc. This is nearly why I like hearing people went off and got married somewhere else!

Since when was prosecco at the reception flapping about? Lol I always assumed this to be a fairly ordinary thing for ANY celebration
Definitely a lot of wedding grinchs about here

Boggy Turf

The food at 11pm-Midnight can often be the best food at a wedding but there is often too little of it and it's gone before you know it.
Nothing nicer than a few cocktail sausages and sandwiches just when you are warming up on the pints and craic.

SarahS2013

Those timelines are just indicative, we'll finalise closer to the time with the venue.
It's simply because we're not doing a big sit down meal, we do NOT under any circumstances want to hear a single person say they're hungry at our wedding!

Toots

Any time I've seen the crisp sambos done they've always been a huge success, but they've always been done in the residents bar very late on, as opposed to as part of the 'evening food'. I think if you were doing them for the evening food you'd want to make sure there was something with them otherwise people will end up hungry (or locked due to lack of soakage)

wexpat girl

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not my thing either but event manager suggested as apparently v popular!!

wexpat girl

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I'd be thinking that we'd have something else there as well but there's no afters. People having bbq about 7.30.

wexpat girl

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T

Thanks but think that's a bit late for the evening guests.

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Electric Sheep

Blut2 wrote: »

Crisp sandwiches are atrocious. You need something actually filling and nutritious in there to fill people up. Some meat or cheese or something high in protein at the least.

Bread and crisps sounds more like something served at a student party than at a wedding. I'd find it a bit embarrassing.

wexpat girl

PhoenixParker wrote: »

It'll work fine but might not be the best solution.
1pm is lunchtime which means people are likely to be at least peckish if not hungry. Yes they'll stock up at breakfast but between the logistics of getting ready and to the venue they'll be getting hungry by the time the ceremony is done. 3-5 is also kind of an awkward time for a meal. There's enough food going on in your plans that none of it's really a problem, but I'd consider:

The wedding party is small 50-60, mainly family and close friend who will be down the night before. The reason we want the main meal over by 5 is to have a break between getting organized for the evening part as was hoping to have the drinks reception for the evening guests about 6pm.

1) Canap& drinks before the ceremony: needs to be managed so people aren't munching through the ceremony and the details checked with the registrar (think they have something about drinking & ceremonies).

Not too sure about drinks before ceremony but open to suggestions.

You could then do photos, more mingling/drinks and start the buffet closer to 230, i.e. More lunchtime, but also with a gap between the canap& buffet.

2) get most photos done before the ceremony, again use that to start the buffet earlier and leave out the canap You could have canapas your evening guests arrive or late instead.


3) if you leave the buffet at 3, then consider BBQ at more like 830 then 8. Bear in mind your evening guests will be waiting on dinner though

I don't want to leave evening guests waiting too long for their food. We .

Thanks for taking the time to make suggestions. Think it's not going to be possible to have the perfect plan, as much as I mull it.

wexpat girl

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We'd like to start the evening party about 6pm (drinks reception, food 7.30) as many will be traveling a distance. We are not in a hotel. there's no residents bar option. We will most likely be finished up by 1/2am.