Had gone a week, but...

Philopannyx

Well, you can guess.

I'm new here, been lurking for a while, and I found so many people here who seemed so much like myself. This is my first post. I am so angry with myself right now. I thought I was doing so well. I really judged wrong. How do I pick myself back up? I don't want to fall back into the hole I was (am?) in.

Fingers Mcginty

Don't beat yourself up OP ...It's a long enough road.
I've fallen off the wagon a good few times this year already myself but my resolve is getting stronger each time. There's a rake of good vids on youtube to help you out. I've been looking at the stop drinking expert recently. Some good tips in there to help you out. Best of luck!!

Philopannyx

Philopannyx wrote: »

Well, you can guess.

I'm new here, been lurking for a while, and I found so many people here who seemed so much like myself. This is my first post. I am so angry with myself right now. I thought I was doing so well. I really judged wrong. How do I pick myself back up? I don't want to fall back into the hole I was (am?) in.

OP, being angry at yourself is a waste of energy. Move on, today is another day.

Only advice I can suggest is ask, do you know what the trigger was for starting to drink again? Was it a stressful day? Stressful week? Was it what you normally do on a Saturday night? I ask, because if you can identify the trigger, you can consciously avoid that situation or those conditions in the future.

Philopannyx

Actually, I made it through Saturday all right. It was Sunday night...and my husband and I went out to dinner. I made it just about to the end of the meal but then caved in. I felt, at the time, that just one wouldn't hurt; that I could handle it and stop, but...I was wrong. There are some complicating factors to do with my husband, but I don't want to lay blame on anyone but myself here.

Haven't drunk today, but boy do I feel crappy, in every way.

Thank you both for answering - it helps so much to have people to talk to about this.

Fingers Mcginty

Dust yourself off and try again. I'm off it 3 weeks now at this stage. A wedding caused me to fall off the wagon and before that i was off it 2 months which is the longest stint i ever had. I'm staying away from pubs until i get to the 3 month mark this time, by then hopefully there will me minimal temptation. That's the plan anyway.

Philopannyx

Philopannyx wrote: »

Actually, I made it through Saturday all right. It was Sunday night...and my husband and I went out to dinner. I made it just about to the end of the meal but then caved in. I felt, at the time, that just one wouldn't hurt; that I could handle it and stop, but...I was wrong. There are some complicating factors to do with my husband, but I don't want to lay blame on anyone but myself here.

Haven't drunk today, but boy do I feel crappy, in every way.

Thank you both for answering - it helps so much to have people to talk to about this.

Until you feel stronger I'd suggest avoiding dinners out and tempting situations. Or at least, dinners out where they serve alcohol.

Sigma Force

Philopannyx wrote: »

Well, you can guess.

I'm new here, been lurking for a while, and I found so many people here who seemed so much like myself. This is my first post. I am so angry with myself right now. I thought I was doing so well. I really judged wrong. How do I pick myself back up? I don't want to fall back into the hole I was (am?) in.

Hi, don't be too hard on yourself. As someone else said it's a waste of your energy. It can take many tries before it finally clicks. Have you outside support, like AA or an addiction counsellor you can go to? It's too difficult to do on your own. Have you talked to you GP or are you going cold turkey? If you haven't already I'd suggest choosing an experience GP and having a good chat with them as to what to do next, otherwise you can find yourself going round in circles and beating yourself up. There's lots of support out there so don't be afraid to take it, you don't have to stick to just one group try as many different support groups as you need to you might find they all work or some work. One day at a time sounds easy and it will get easier just stay strong and you can do it. xxx

picturehangup

Hi Philopanny, have been there several times. Had a bad one last Sunday, was very ill, and lost a days work.
Went to my doc (again) was put on librium (again) but have been fine since (for now). I feel better and clearer headed (for now). I have been using alcohol as a crutch, and it has been adversely affecting my health.
I got great support from GP. Please go see yours, tell him you want to stop. There is a tablet you can take 2 hours before your danger zone which eliminates the desire to drink. I was prescribed this, then I asked myself, well, do i want to put more chemicals into my body to replace the other chemical (alcohol), and I thought no! So far doing better than I have done in years. It might take a few gos at the races but you can beat this. I am determined, so many good folk on here will help you.

Sigma Force

picturehangup wrote: »

Hi Philopanny, have been there several times. Had a bad one last Sunday, was very ill, and lost a days work.
Went to my doc (again) was put on librium (again) but have been fine since (for now). I feel better and clearer headed (for now). I have been using alcohol as a crutch, and it has been adversely affecting my health.
I got great support from GP. Please go see yours, tell him you want to stop. There is a tablet you can take 2 hours before your danger zone which eliminates the desire to drink. I was prescribed this, then I asked myself, well, do i want to put more chemicals into my body to replace the other chemical (alcohol), and I thought no! So far doing better than I have done in years. It might take a few gos at the races but you can beat this. I am determined, so many good folk on here will help you.

Am only going from my experience of my loved one who is currently in rehab, doing well so far so good. He had tried numerous times at home but was just going round in circles. The medication worked but not for long because he refused to accept outside help so he wasn't getting to the root of the problem. I think anyone who is trying to stop at home or in rehab has real guts, it's not easy all round but I can only imagine how difficult it is to stop and even more frustrating if you really want to stop but your brain and body is fighting against you. I have learned from my own experience dealing with this that it's near impossible to do alone ok there are people no doubt that have but in general it's just too hard and there's no need to go it alone when the support is available.
Regardless of wether a binge drinker or functioning alcoholic or chronic etc. You're so right that having a good GP is vital but they can only prescribe medications for so long my loved one was refused at the fifth go round and although it was a bit of a shock it was a wake up call for both of us it made us both realised it's not so straight forward, that we need to look in to other alternatives I'm so greatful to the GP for refusing it. We both felt we were wasting her time and our own because we just weren't getting anywhere. A few months before rehab he would of told you there is no way in hell he was going but towards his final decision to go he was so ill and so distraught because he was so fed up with having to drink to just exist. I think it's so important to realise it yourself though, lets face it if someone tells you to do something you really won't want to and I think most people even non addicts do not like being told what to do. It's been a very rough few years, heartbreaking at times. But it's a learning process for all sides and actually after a while it becomes interesting the whole dynamic of it. It's in no ways easy but i personally believe that as a general rule if someone is an alcoholic that short term help doesn't work. For some reason the 90 day programme has a higher success rate than say a 30 day if the aftercare is kept up. Relapses are common and expected almost but it's a huge move for anyone to decide on rehab and quite scary but the difference after even a couple of weeks can be amazing. We remain very hopeful but we are aware it's extremely early days. I think even just wanting to stop is a huge step for you and you should be encouraged by that, any slip is a learning curve and deciding to stop again is another step in the right direction. I really admire anyone who makes this decision.