How much do you pay the grandparents to babysit?

Loveinapril

I am due my first baby in a few months and my mam has offered (even prior to pregnancy!) to mind the baby when I return to work. She is a childminder already but the current kiddy is off to playschool in Sept so her hours will be reduced around that.
I knew she would mind my baby at a reduced rate but she actually won't enter into a discussion about payment and said she will not take any money at all. This doesn't sit well with me at all as I would be paying someone if she didn't do it. I work 2.5 days a week so she would have the child max. 20 hours a week, depending on my husband's schedule (he is in college). She is very good in helping out while things are tight financially but I don't want to take advantage.
What do you pay the grandparents if the mind your child/ren regularly? Anyone any advice on how to manage this?

Ocean Blue

Loveinapril wrote: »

I am due my first baby in a few months and my mam has offered (even prior to pregnancy!) to mind the baby when I return to work. She is a childminder already but the current kiddy is off to playschool in Sept so her hours will be reduced around that.
I knew she would mind my baby at a reduced rate but she actually won't enter into a discussion about payment and said she will not take any money at all. This doesn't sit well with me at all as I would be paying someone if she didn't do it. I work 2.5 days a week so she would have the child max. 20 hours a week, depending on my husband's schedule (he is in college). She is very good in helping out while things are tight financially but I don't want to take advantage.
What do you pay the grandparents if the mind your child/ren regularly? Anyone any advice on how to manage this?

If she really is insistent not to take weekly payment, find other ways to repay her. Put a chunk aside each week and keep it......she mentions she wants to do up her sitting room, give her a voucher towards her couch......it's coming near Christmas, buy her vouchers for tesco etc.

Big Bag of Chips

If she is officially minding your child during the week while you work then you have to insist on paying her something, or telling her you will find another childminder. I have a couple of friends who childmind and their rate is €30 per day, or €15 for a half day.

My mother will very very occasionally take my child if I'm stuck (I have a minder) and won't take any money for the odd one off day. But we'll often buy her something as a thank you.

If she was minding her for me everyday I worked I would insist on some sort of payment, even if reduced or would decline the offer of her services and organise something else.

edit: She regularly babysits for us if we go out and we don't pay her for that.

("Regularly" as in every 2 or 3 months if we go out!!)

shesty

Well...if she won't take pay maybe agree that you supply nappies food wipes etc and kit her house out with anything she might need to mind the baby.Also revisit the pay question in a few months time, see how she still feels about it .
After that I'd suggest vouchers etc. Childminding is hard work.

Loveinapril

shesty wrote: »

Well...if she won't take pay maybe agree that you supply nappies food wipes etc and kit her house out with anything she might need to mind the baby.Also revisit the pay question in a few months time, see how she still feels about it .
After that I'd suggest vouchers etc. Childminding is hard work.

I will definitely be supplying the food and baby paraphernalia anyway. I like the idea of vouchers and maybe setting money aside to contribute to any holidays/ big purchases they are planning. They love to have dinners out and she gets her hair done every 6 weeks so there are definitely set things I can contribute to. She is a typical Irish mammy. I would be chased out of the house giving her cash!

nikpmup

I pay my mam, but like yours, she's very hard to pay! I transfer the money directly into her bank a/c, otherwise I'd probably have to throw cash at her running out the door!

Not sure if it helps but I will mention it anyway. A friend of mine was in exactly the same situation where she would have been paying a minder anyway - but the grand parents would not take money off them for doing it.

So what they realised was that there are things you can pay people to do that is cheaper than babysitting - like a regular cleaner.

So rather than hire a babysitter for their child - they hired a cleaner for their grand parents who did cleaning in the house and gardens and a few other things.

So the grand parents got the benefit of regular help in the house - the cleaner got a job - the parents of the child were getting childminders for much less money than child minders charge - it was win win win all around.

wordofwarning

It is important to only give her things that she needs. I have seen people attempting to help their parents financially and buying bizarre things like replacing their perfectly good sofa etc.

IMO she sees you are struggling financial and would probably appreciate you having a somewhat decent standard of living, than giving her money. At the end of the day, she probably realises that you will help her out in the future too ie looking after her when she is sick, helping her financially etc.

If you are struggling financially, I would show your appreciation, but I would not be starving to give her stuff she does not need/want. It could be possible she wants to mind your child, as she will be lonely/without something to do when the other child leaves

Sleeper12

Everyone is different. Different financial situations etc. Some grandparents actually want & look forward to looking after their grandchildren. Some don't need the money. Op only you know your mams financial situation but personally I'd say if she genuinely wants to mind her grandchild for free why not let her.

Neyite

Is this your mum?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk3ds-VFKBs

I'm in a similar situation - I know my child minder in Sept for wraparound care won't take a penny off me. I plan on getting her a weekend away a couple of times a year in her favourite hotel with a few spa treatments thrown in at the very least.

Mink

My in-laws wouldn't take a penny off us for the 3 days they minded my son.

They loved to get away or go out for dinner so we'd get them vouchers for travel agents or their favourite restaurant. We had to give them around xmas/bday/mothers day time sort of combined with usual pres, otherwise they'd get very cross at us for spending the money.

We took them out to dinner as well when we could as it's nice to do something where you're spending time with them as well.

They genuinely wanted to mind him. When I had told my mother in law that I had a creche organised she burst into tears as she'd wanted us to ask her to mind him, I felt terrible.

My friend's mother won't take money so she pays her phone bill and a couple other small bills as well.

Sunny Dayz

I find the new phone covers handy - the one's that flip open and have a slot or two for your bank cards - you can slip some money in there.
My mum does take money from me - but she justifies it [to herself I guess] as being her petrol money. She put every second week of it aside and saves up for some new clothes or for going away.


I agree with the others who say get her stuff she would use, get restaurant/hotel vouchers, hair/beauty vouchers, etc. Even things like taking her shopping and/or treating her to lunch.

patrickSTARR

Ocean Blue wrote: »

If she really is insistent not to take weekly payment, find other ways to repay her. Put a chunk aside each week and keep it......she mentions she wants to do up her sitting room, give her a voucher towards her couch......it's coming near Christmas, buy her vouchers for tesco etc.

I put a few euro by every month and we buy a box of sweets and a little gift to say thanks.

My parents don't want anything for minding her, they love just having her around but Im always aware of how lucky I am not to have to pay for child care and have 2 loving people take care of her in the day.