Devisive flat mate issues

MrPudding

OwaynOTT wrote: »

I shared a house with 23 other lads when I was in college.
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion?

C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate?

MrP

Jobs OXO

thelad95 wrote: »

There is currently a thread over in Accommodation and Property forum regarding someone who is at their wits end because their flat mate takes a shower every morning at 6am.

Having lived in four house shares, I know how explosive even the smallest of things can seem to others. But what have you experienced that either irritates you or clearly takes the pi$$? For me it's the following:

I had a flat mate who I barely ever saw as they were always working ridiculous hours. They would leave delightful little passive aggressive notes around the house detailing all their gripes. Usually things like "this is my cereal" or "x's turn to put out the bins I had to do it twice last week". My favourite was that we had a bowl of sugar that we just kind of all filled up whenever it got empty as we were all big tea/coffee drinkers, one day she left out a printed page from some stupid website detailing the supposed dangers of how communal sugar bowls can spread numerous illness and we should buy our own. At first, I just laughed them off but eventually I got so irritated that I just began scrunching them up and leaving that there for her to see. Strangely the notes dried up pretty quickly.

People leaving dirty stuff on the sink when there's a dishwasher sitting there ready to fill!!

People blasting their crappy music around the house especially when they go for a shower. Selfish idiots.

People who use your milk without asking. I mean if your caught once then fair enough but some people think it's okay to do regularly.

Coming home late from work, turning on every light, turning on music/TV at a ridiculous volume, banging around the kitchen, when they KNOW everyone else is asleep.

I'm also living with two girls, who go for a shower and just kind of leave their skid stained granny knickers in the bathroom for everyone to see for weeks at a time.

Those who leave food to rot in a fridge for weeks at a time.

How big were her baps?

snowflaker

My mum always used tea towels to take the Apple/rhubarb tarts out of the oven she baked when we were younger! Oven gloves are for poshos

freshpopcorn

snowflaker wrote: »

My mum always used tea towels to take the Apple/rhubarb tarts out of the oven she baked when we were younger! Oven gloves are for poshos

Lot's of people do use a tea tower for taking things out of the oven or off the hob.

hairyslug

During college there was 7 of us sharing a 2 bed just off O'Connell Street. Rent was dirt cheap, and I think the worst of it was food being stolen, though at that age, you let a lot of stuff slide. I'm sure a lot of the stuff going on would piss me off now.

Jesus Wept

snowflaker wrote: »

My mum always used tea towels to take the Apple/rhubarb tarts out of the oven she baked when we were younger! Oven gloves are for poshos

They are impractical as ****. Can't get any purchase. It'd be like using boxing gloves.

oakshade

Spent many a year in house shares but one story lives on... A new lad moves in, assistant manager in a local supermarket, seems quite and keeps to himself. A few nights later on comes the girlfriend, we dont see her much, maybe grabbing a beer from the fridge and heading to his room... Then it happens, vigorous sex is an understatement... the roaring, screaming, feedback... harder softer, another minute etc... For hours on end. Her favourite, to scream his name at the top of her voice, his full name not just his first. This continued for weeks, many discreet words but nothing worked... Till we told the landlord and he was kicked out.

Roll on about 6 months and there was a nice tradition in work where new employees were brought out for lunch on their first day. One of the team leaders asked me to come along one day as there was only one new girl and she wanted some company, make conversation etc. Was all polite and pleasant until I asked the new girl where she worked previously and she mentioned the local supermarket. I said do you know (ex housemate) and she says yes, `he is my boyfriend' then the recognition kicks in... Made for the most awkward lunch ever and she never made eye contact with me again.

snowflaker

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Lot's of people do use a tea tower for taking things out of the oven or off the hob.

Yeah it referred to an earlier discussion


Also, wtf is a tea tower??? Lolz

freshpopcorn

snowflaker wrote: »

Yeah it referred to an earlier discussion


Also, wtf is a tea tower??? Lolz

A tea tower!

snowflaker

freshpopcorn wrote: »

A tea tower!

Good luck pouring that!!!

Mooooo

When in college one of the housemates was a Chinese post grad., quiet enough lad kept to himself most of the time. A few strange habits, would microwave raw burgers for his dinner and that. Also had breadmakers and the like but only used them in his room and he had the box room. Anyway over the space of a few weeks in the middle of the year the we noticed a few odd things like a bit of noise in the middle of the night and the odd thing moved in the house when we may have been in and out when the Chinese lad wasn't there. Turns out his mother was over for a visit and was staying in his room., she was there 4 weeks before we figured it out. She came for 6 weeks didn't leave the house bar to go to the airport

freshpopcorn

Mooooo wrote: »

When in college one of the housemates was a Chinese post grad., quiet enough lad kept to himself most of the time. A few strange habits, would microwave raw burgers for his dinner and that. Also had breadmakers and the like but only used them in his room and he had the box room. Anyway over the space of a few weeks in the middle of the year the we noticed a few odd things like a bit of noise in the middle of the night and the odd thing moved in the house when we may have been in and out when the Chinese lad wasn't there. Turns out his mother was over for a visit and was staying in his room., she was there 4 weeks before we figured it out. She came for 6 weeks didn't leave the house bar to go to the airport

Was she baking bread?

Mooooo

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Was she baking bread?

No idea saw her the day she was leaving. Didnt bother us so made no odds

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Nothing at all wrong with it you don't mind your house being razed to the ground. Tea towels + grease + tumble dryers = not in my house you don't!

I've even seen them spontaneously combust on a radiator.

Your house or a house you were sharing with others?

messy tessy

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I was in a house share once, first evening there, one of the eejits used a teatowel as an oven glove.

That was enough for me, my dog has more upbringing than that.

Housemates that dry their hands on a tea towel when there is a hand towel right there. Ahhhhh! Does my head in.

bananabread12

Won't pay for toilet paper because he says he doesn't use it.

branie2

I got on well with my flatmates when I was in college

osarusan

He would come home really pissed, put some bread under the grill to make toast (even though we had a toaster, he liked his bread toasted on only one side), then fall asleep.

The toast would burn and set off the fire alarm. Happened loads of times. After we finally said it had to stop, he suggested taking the battery out of the fire alarm, and sure wouldn't everything be grand then lads.

Snugglebunnies

I lived with a Swedish girl one time who kept filling up all the bins in the house with books. I don't know where she was getting so many or what she was using them for. She obviously wasn't reading them with the rate she was filling up the bins.

Paddy Cow

I was friends with a girl for 12 years and we decided to live together. Big mistake. We were great as friends but wound each other up as housemates. It lasted three months before we went our separate ways. Haven't kept in contact since

Robsweezie

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I was friends with a girl for 12 years and we decided to live together. Big mistake. We were great as friends but wound each other up as housemates. It lasted three months before we went our separate ways. Haven't kept in contact since

what changed? was it just annoying habits?

...And Justice

Robsweezie wrote: »

what changed? was it just annoying habits?

You should have settled it with a good rattle.

Paddy Cow

...And Justice wrote: »

You should have settled it with a good rattle.

We're both straight females. I don't think that would help :P

Jobs OXO

Paddy Cow wrote: »

We're both straight females. I don't think that would help :P

Should had one of the lads come over for some FFM action then. The tension would have just evaporated

Paddy Cow

Robsweezie wrote: »

what changed? was it just annoying habits?

Personality clash. Like I said, we were fine as friends but didn't work as housemates. I live on my own now (apart from all my animals, who by the way make the best flatmates :pac:) but if I had to go back to house share, I'd never again live with a friend. I think it's easier with strangers. If they get on your nerves you can be annoyed with them but get on with your life, go see your friends and bitch about them to get it off your chest. If you live with your friend and they are getting on your nerves, it makes it a whole lot worse.

notsoyoungwan

I had one housemate who left her used sanitary towels lying open/unwrapped in the bathroom bin. Skank.

Cakes and Ale

I once had a guy move in who stuck to his room almost all of the time, which is fair enough, but after a while everyone started to notice that there seemed to be less cutlery and dishes. Rest of the house investigated his room was when he was away for a few days - he was stacking up used plates and cutlery to avoid washing anything. Worst was a bean-encrusted plate on one of his bedside tables, which had been there for quite some time. After him, the gay postgrad who insisted on opening every window all the time - if someone was watching TV and stepped out to get something, the windows would be open when you came back! - seemed fairly normal.

Paddy Cow

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Personality clash. Like I said, we were fine as friends but didn't work as housemates. I live on my own now (apart from all my animals, who by the way make the best flatmates :pac:) but if I had to go back to house share, I'd never again live with a friend. I think it's easier with strangers. If they get on your nerves you can be annoyed with them but get on with your life, go see your friends and bitch about them to get it off your chest. If you live with your friend and they are getting on your nerves, it makes it a whole lot worse.

Yeah it's a tough one. Lived with a mate and it went pear-shaped. Was a lot of little things that just dragged on. But being able to go to the pub or have an impromptu BBQ/film night with a buddy is nice at the same time.

leggo

Cakes and Ale wrote: »

I once had a guy move in who stuck to his room almost all of the time, which is fair enough, but after a while everyone started to notice that there seemed to be less cutlery and dishes. Rest of the house investigated his room was when he was away for a few days - he was stacking up used plates and cutlery to avoid washing anything. Worst was a bean-encrusted plate on one of his bedside tables, which had been there for quite some time. After him, the gay postgrad who insisted on opening every window all the time - if someone was watching TV and stepped out to get something, the windows would be open when you came back! - seemed fairly normal.

That sounds like a passive aggressive way of suggesting you all smell. I've lived in a few houseshares so I could write the passive aggressive dictionary by now.

Had one housemate who used to blast music at all hours, never showered (because he lived downstairs, didn't "like stairs" and that's where the shower was), didn't wash his clothes and fell out with his Mam so stank permanently thereafter, would invite 20 people over on a whim...I could go on. It was annoying because I was living with passive nerdy lads who were afraid to speak up out of fear of losing a friend, so they put up with and I had to be the bad guy bringing up issues and teaching this dude how to adult.

It ended one night when two girls came home with him after a night out. One went to sleep on the couch while he stayed in bed with another. We were all awoken to the girls screams and yelling "YOU ****ING SCUMBAG!" over and over. She ran out and left the door open, and a couple minutes later her friend followed chasing her. By this stage we're all at the top of the stairs wondering what the **** happened. He came out, looked at us and just shrugged his shoulders and went back inside. Finally the possible sexual assault was enough to have the others speak up too and he was gone within a couple weeks. It was a harrowing experience and I always felt bad not following up with the Gardai, but what do you say having not even seen the girl in question?

mojesius

Shared a big old house with four other girls. My room was the attic room with the boiler in it. The boiler never heated the water properly and we had to pester the letting agency for months to get it fixed. Just because the boiler was in my room, I was automatically assigned the role of boiler maintenance engineer for the house. Every morning, id be awoken by one of them in their towels at my door complaining about the cold water and accusing me of tampering with the fcuking broken boiler and demanding I get up and help them fix it.

One of them moved her sister in for a few weeks and put a bed in our dining room, which had adjoining doors to the sitting room. Great craic sitting down to watch tv on a sunday evening with a cup of tea while the sister was banging her fella loudly in the next room, adjoining doors shaking violently.

Two housemates had boyfriends, who'd stay over 3/4 nights a week, which usually meant the sitting room was taken over by a couple spooning on the couch six nights a week.

Never again.

The Highwayman

corner of hells wrote: »

I work in a homeless hostel , ya'all ain't seen nothing.

I so want to hear some of your yarns

JupiterKid

So the moral of the story is: houseshare is hell. It's crappy. You have to do it cos you're young and broke. You "get on" with your housemates but in reality you'd prefer to have a place to yourself.

And roomshare with a stranger is just so so wrong on so many levels.:(

lawred2

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

They use the doors properly, you interfere with the fire safety of the building!



Actually, you're the one needs the education.

lame attempt at seeking a rise... You know well that someone letting fire doors slam behind them repeatedly at any time of day is taking the p!ss

leggo

JupiterKid wrote: »

So the moral of the story is: houseshare is hell. It's crappy. You have to do it cos you're young and broke. You "get on" with your housemates but in reality you'd prefer to have a place to yourself.

And roomshare with a stranger is just so so wrong on so many levels.:(

I don't know. I'm older and crankier now and more comfortable in my skin so I think I'd appreciate a place to myself now if it made financial sense (I could afford it but something would get the squeeze between savings, my future and social life), but in years past I would've seen it as lonely hell. There was a two year period when I was living with two mates in Dublin City, we were all single in our 20's and going out weekly bringing girls back, and it's probably the most fun period of my life. At the time I used to always say "this is what we'll think of when we're older and beat down by life and reminisce on the good old days." We had our ups and downs but now they're all just funny stories we talk about when we see each other.

The past six months, I've lived with one mate I'm not as close with (and I like it that way, despite how good it was I wouldn't live with close mates again, I've ticked that box and now want space to myself) and a girl we got off Daft and, in terms of the things that could wreck your head, it's been the best six months. We all flow nicely with each other's lives, everyone does their bit, no issues with paying bills, it just works.

So I wouldn't say house shares are all hell. Bad house shares are, for sure, but if you use the experience, learn from it and be smart about future decisions, it can work and work really well. Like I said, when I'm married with kids I'll probably long for my house sharing days at times!

lawred2

Cakes and Ale wrote: »

I once had a guy move in who stuck to his room almost all of the time, which is fair enough, but after a while everyone started to notice that there seemed to be less cutlery and dishes. Rest of the house investigated his room was when he was away for a few days - he was stacking up used plates and cutlery to avoid washing anything. Worst was a bean-encrusted plate on one of his bedside tables, which had been there for quite some time. After him, the gay postgrad who insisted on opening every window all the time - if someone was watching TV and stepped out to get something, the windows would be open when you came back! - seemed fairly normal.

Obviously he was telling you all that you stank. How did you not cop that?

lawred2

House shared for a long time and generally speaking aside from some oddities I never really had any major issues..

I do remember one occassion where some girl had made some cous cous and there were some leftovers sitting in a bowl - this bowl was some earthenware thing.

It sat in the fridge for months. Every day you would see it there taking up space in the fridge. There was a plate sitting on top of it and every now and then I'd take a peek inside - those leftovers were being colonised at an impressive rate considering the chilled environment. Well after one month too many I finally broke, grabbed the bowl and horsed it out into the trash. I certainly wasn't cleaning out the toxic contents.

Given that it had sat in the fridge for such a length of time - one would have presumed that this girl cared little for her bowl.

That evening - an inquisition as to where the f**k the bowl had gone.

Seriously, she noticed it missing immediately despite leaving it to fester for months in the fridge. Was she engaged in some science experiment?

gramar

osarusan wrote: »

He would come home really pissed, put some bread under the grill to make toast (even though we had a toaster, he liked his bread toasted on only one side), then fall asleep.

The toast would burn and set off the fire alarm. Happened loads of times. After we finally said it had to stop, he suggested taking the battery out of the fire alarm, and sure wouldn't everything be grand then lads.

Was he English and were you living in New York at the time?

leggo

Over-shopping is a big pet peeve of mine. I lived with one lad who went through a phase of trying to be The Rock and wanted the diet to match. So one week I come home with my shopping and, we had two fridges, and BOTH were filled to the brim with this prick's food! I texted him to say I was moving whatever off the measly two small shelves I only ever used out onto the kitchen table and he could find a new home for them when he got in. For some reason, he was angry at life for teaching him this lesson and ignored me for a while afterwards. I guess I was wrong to want to have food myself. It was selfish of me in hindsight.

He's still not The Rock by the way.

JupiterKid

House shares when they work out well can be great but in my experience when you have a few people of different personalities, values and upbringings and attitudes to sharing spaces and cleanliness it's a recipe for trouble.

It just takes one incident for house relations to sour hugely and often irreversibly. People do what they do and this can clash badly in a houseshare environment. But it's a rite of passage for most of us.

Poor Uncle Tom

lawred2 wrote: »

lame attempt at seeking a rise... You know well that someone letting fire doors slam behind them repeatedly at any time of day is taking the p!ss

Taking the p!ss or not, removing the closing mechanism on a fire door isn't the answer.

Greendaisy

A long, long time ago I shared a house with an Irish girl, Ann and a German guy, Dieter. Myself and Ann decided that the kitchen needed a thorough clean....it was shining.. Dieter arrived back and goes demented! I can still remember his contorted face........Ann had cleaned out the bread bin. She said there had been a 'mouldly' sliced pan in it, a few months out of date, complete with blue bits on the plastic. It turned out that Dieter had been buying fresh bread and placing it in this mouldy wrapper....so we wouldn't eat it!! He didn't speak to us for months.

fg1406

House shares are hell. I endured it for my years of living in Dublin due to the cost of living. Highlights included:

Flatshare in Phibsboro with an Asian English language student (who was really working but attending "college" maybe 1 day a week), who spent his days masturbating in his bedroom while watching porn.loudly.

Houseshare in Beaumont with a kleptomaniac couple. They were students in DCU, I think and they were the only 2 that never went home at weekends. Random small things used to go missing over the weekends while we were away. Like a belt, cheap bracelet, USB stick etc They stayed in bed all evening every evening after college, emerging periodically to shower and eat. They used to come home at lunchtime for a ride too.

Houseshare on NCR where housemates were fine but landlord was a right weirdo who used to walk into our house whenever he felt like it.

Houseshare with foreign NCHDs in Blanchardstown. Most were ok but one was a total oddball who put this giant satellite dish on the balcony without permission so he could watch tv from his own country. It meant we no access to the balcony anymore. Also With his hours he would be liable to come home at 2am and would proceed to cook dinner in the kitchen while Skype calling home on his iPad without any regard for anyone else. He also robbed 10 dvds from my bedroom when I wasn't there. Prick.

Houseshare in Blanchardstown with a dole bum who never worked and didn't want to work. It was demoralising to come home after a hard days slog to see him still lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket watching tv while chain smoking. Despite Social welfares best efforts to make him work, he just refused. He would always have money for fags and cans but never for the Internet or utility bills.

flatshare in drumcondrawith OCD clean freak. She was the owner of the flat and it put me off ever renting a room from a homeowner. Passive aggressive notes left all over the house re cleaning etc. She moved her boyfriend into the house after just 3 weeks together (her place so she could do what she wanted) which meant the sitting room became out of bounds as they snuggled up on the couch together every night which was awkward for me, like a spare wheel. Between the constant cleaning and hoovering at all hours of the day and night I eventually cracked up and moved out.

josip

Relieved to have gotten this far and not read recognised myself in any of the posts.
At least I think I haven't been mentioned.

languagenerd

Had a flatmate who'd cook himself a big batch of pasta and mince on a Sunday and leave it in the pot on the hob for the rest of the week, taking a plateful each day. I don't know how he didn't permamently have food poisoning. It was a warm galley kitchen and the hob was on top of the oven, so his food was probably warmed up about 5 times a day. Yuck. Never mind that anyone else might want to use the pot/hob.

I ended up keeping my kitchenware from my old flat in my bedroom, because as well as commandeering the pots, he only washed his dishes once a week. I counted 12 plates & bowls come out of his room one Saturday for the ceremonial wash. If he got your bowl/mug/whatever, you wouldn't see it again for days on end. I couldn't have the soup I'd bought for lunch once as he had all the bowls locked in his room.

The other girl went mental one night because she came home to find the half pint of milk she'd bought the day before was gone. Yer man replied saying "The milk in the flat is communal and always has been". We had never had that discussion.

_Roz_

I've mostly had the usual and aforementioned complaints - people leaving pots of food on the stove (I might need that pot, I might need that hob), leaving dishes in the sink (I might want to actually wash my dishes - or need that dirty bowl). Slamming doors, shouting loudly round the house, house parties, leaving clothes in the washer/dryer/

In the last place I lived, 4 guys and me (girl), two were typical Irish student lads (drinking was their primary hobby) and they frequently had a friend or two stay on a Monday morning. No idea why, but more than once while they were all unconscious I'd be getting up for work and (as you had to go through the living room to get to the kitchen) I would walk into a room with a topless guy sleeping on the couch. That made me uncomfortable.

In the house before that, a housemate carved a pumpkin for halloween, then left it on a dresser (don't ask) out the back of the house. Where it sloooooooooooooooowly decomposed into a pile of yellow and green leaky mush, which streaked all down the front of the dresser. It never occured to her to JUST DISPOSE OF IT.

languagenerd

languagenerd wrote: »

Had a flatmate who'd cook himself a big batch of pasta and mince on a Sunday and leave it in the pot on the hob for the rest of the week, taking a plateful each day. I don't know how he didn't permamently have food poisoning. It was a warm galley kitchen and the hob was on top of the oven, so his food was probably warmed up about 5 times a day.

I had a housemate who did the same though it was usually something veg based like soup so not quite as bad. A big pot would be cooked on whatever day and it would last at least 3 or 4 days in the pot on the hob with the entire pot full being heated repeatedly each evening.

It didn't really bother me as we had plenty of pots and I wasn't eating it myself aside from the fact the person would allow to to boil over every time it was reheated and often not clean up so the hob would be caked in food and then heated again the next day burning the previous days spillage solid.

hoodini89

4 of us girls moved into a house together in 2nd year of college.

Things went well until one girl, let's call her Mary, started having her boyfriend Tom over 3/4 nights a week rent-free and he'd be always taking over the kitchen in the evenings.

We politely asked him to contribute something towards the bills but that stunned them and they stopped speaking to us apart from the odd hello.

End of term, Mary moved out a few days before us and had cleared out her room.
We went in to make sure room was clean and found a 2 litre bottle of Coke hidden beside the bed, which to our horror was half-filled with johnnies and gunge.

AndrewJRenko

leggo wrote: »

a girl we got off Daft

How much are they, roughly?

leggo

JupiterKid wrote: »

House shares when they work out well can be great but in my experience when you have a few people of different personalities, values and upbringings and attitudes to sharing spaces and cleanliness it's a recipe for trouble.

It just takes one incident for house relations to sour hugely and often irreversibly. People do what they do and this can clash badly in a houseshare environment. But it's a rite of passage for most of us.

See I think there's a personal accountability there too, we're all responsible for our own happiness and all that. I'm in a happy situation now because I've dealt with it well. Rent isn't bad and location is great because I was on Daft non-stop, found this place when it was literally online minutes, was in town every free moment I had taking viewings and organised to see them before viewings were even opened because I had the neck to chance it and ask, took it immediately when I saw it ticked all boxes. In terms of housemates I know what I like and dislike and vet people heavily for that, even as far as researching interview techniques to get people to reveal themselves (open-ended questions are your friend here). I communicate openly with people and let them know the few, basic things that wind me up, I let them know in a nice way that I'm not a person you'd like to wind up, then I'm helpful and really approachable with stuff too. If something goes wrong I've likely experienced it and know five different ways to handle it if need be, then do so in an effort to get it dealt with but keep a good atmosphere. Even my landlords are on notice, as I established early on "look I'll rarely if ever bother you, but if I do take it seriously or else I'll make sure you do one way or another. Keep me happy and I'll keep you happy."

So my circumstances aren't an accident, I put time and energy into securing myself a peaceful life, and if people are flexible and empathetic enough to do the same it's really doable. And once your home life is settled, that's a foundation for building the rest of your life on.

Whereas if someone here was to say they've been in 20 different situations and every one ended in a mess...well maybe they're the common denominator and not good at seeing/accepting that. Like if you find yourself living with constantly messy people who don't look after themselves time after time, you need to get better at addressing that and not being a pushover, and so on.

Anyway sorry to drag this into a slightly serious discussion. People are ****, continue all. My apologies!

Bambi985

leggo wrote: »

Whereas if someone here was to say they've been in 20 different situations and every one ended in a mess...well maybe they're the common denominator and not good at seeing/accepting that. Like if you find yourself living with constantly messy people who don't look after themselves time after time, you need to get better at addressing that and not being a pushover, and so on.

Or if they live in London/New York where they have to view 165 places, half of which look like crack dens that you wouldn't home a dog in and "interview" for a room among hundreds of other renters who are willing to pay stupid money to have a roof over their head and anything else is a bonus.

Looks like Dublin isn't far off that either