tGC AMA with Persepoly

ancapailldorcha

Next up.... Persepoly!!

HalloweenJack

As a woman, what's your reason for posting in TGC?

kunst nugget

What's your biggest worry about the world we live in?

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

HalloweenJack

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

I agree, I'm just curious as to why. I reckon more men post in TLL than women post in TGC so maybe that answer could give some insight.

ancapailldorcha

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

And it is. I do get curious as to why we've attracted some of our female regulars though.

Persepoly, what's the story behind your username? Persepolis springs to mind but I don't know what that is offhand.

@ HalloweenJack, this is one of my favourite forums on boards. I think we live in a world which is becoming hostile towards men so I'm
interested in the male perspective and experience of living today.

@ Kunst Nugget, I fear that we will end up living in a world where each country will lose it's sense of identity and autonomy. I also fear our humanity being chipped away and eventually altered by technology.

@Permabear

@Permabear, I wanted to be so many different things growing up. When I hit my teens those ambitions started to settle down and become centred around helping people. That's what I do today.

I would tell my 16 yr old self that no it won't all work out ok instead it will be tough and your life will be unrecognisable but you will face the lows with resilience instead of the meek nervousness which plagues you today.

@ Ancapailldorcha, when I was signing up I wanted the name Persephone but it was taken so played around a bit and remembered the Marjane Satrapi film Persepolis

Wibbs

What would you do to stave off the potential perils of technology and are we too late?

ancapailldorcha

Is there anything about the future you're optimistic about from a technological/cultural standpoint? If so, what?

Yourself isit

Favourite author? Book? TV Show?

Erik Shin

Persepoly, would you like to drive a train for one day ?

mzungu

What are your desert island discs?

Best gig you attended?

alchemist33

Roughly what percentage of views expressed in tGC do you agree with? Disagree with? Go "meh" about? (and why....?)

Dr Crayfish

I always pictured you as a goth type, am I right? Kind of person who listens to bands like Nightwish?

tupenny

I always imagined you as someone who's into ancient celtic mysticism and wears shawls and shops in 2nd hand clothes shops.
Am I right?

tupenny

Easy ones first

tupenny wrote: »

I always imagined you as someone who's into ancient celtic mysticism and wears shawls and shops in 2nd hand clothes shops.
Am I right?

You are not quite correct When I was growing up I was very interested in Greek mythology and Arthurian legend. These days a bit of that still lingers. I'm always drawn to the slightly out there concepts in life. Buddhism, meditation, mind altering psychedelics, chakras, Mandalas, Jungian Analysis, these are all areas which fascinate me. I don't wear shawls but I do love vintage clothes from say Om Diva, Harlequin, and Jenny Vander. Unfortunately most of them are made for bodies that are more angles than curves

Erik Shin wrote: »

Persepoly, would you like to drive a train for one day ?

I wouldn't. Driving is a big enough challenge for me Erik. I'm the type who can never quite park straight within the lines

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I always pictured you as a goth type, am I right? Kind of person who listens to bands like Nightwish?

Most definitely not. I don't like loud screamy music. These days I'm listening to a lot of Keaton Henson and a great woman called Lina who has a kind of Amy Winehouse vibe going on. I don't think I am any particular "type". A slightly bohemian style in that I care not for fashion and having my nails done and hair straightened. Being a Goth is a whole different way of life and culture I think.

mzungu wrote: »

What are your desert island discs?
Best gig you attended?

I'm glad its "discs" and not "disc" Years ago I was listening to Tom Dunne's Pet Sounds on Today FM when I heard something really beautiful. It was Damien Rice' The Blowers Daughter. It made my insides tingle. So it would have to be his first album "O". Really for sentimental reasons though. Music is a very powerful form of nostalgia. One song and we are transported back to a different time and feeling.

The second two albums are Ryan Adams Heartbreaker and Gold. Again they remind me of a lovely time and introduced me to a music genre I love, that kind of American folky sound. Thirdly Jeff Buckley's Grace. My first "proper" boyfriend introduced me to him.

Creedence Clearwater Revival. It makes my feet tap and my arms swing. Back in the day I used to be in to rock and grunge so Creedence is one of the last remaining bands I listen to from that time. Mick Flannery' s Red to Blue. He is my husband I heard him at Electric Picnic a few years ago and fell in love.

Two gigs stand out. Years ago I saw The Frames in Vicar Street. During one of their songs, Star Star, the back of the stage lit up with lots of twinkly lights and so did I. The other was Ryan Adams in the Olympia. I had that same goosebumply feeling as I had many years previous. I guess that's how I know when something is special to me. All of the lights go on

H3llR4iser

Hey Persepoly, nice to see this AMA...

Got a couple for you:

What do you think of the completely forced "femalization" (sorry, just made that term up!) of mainstream media? E.g. shoving women in specific lead roles or having an entirely female cast for the pure sake of it? (not necessarily referring to Doctor Who, it's just the latest example - the 2016 Ghostbusters movie comes to mind as well).

Do you think "standard" feminism to be actually detrimental to women's cause, with its depicting of them as always needing "protection" and to be "helped"?

Surreptitious

I've been to see all your favourite musicians too

If you had a death row meal including a beverage, could you tell me what it would consist of?

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

What would you do to stave off the potential perils of technology and are we too late?

I feel that we live in an age where people are disconnected from themselves and each other. This I think is partly down to technology. Social media wasn't as prevalent in our lives ten years ago. There were less of us carrying the world in our pockets keeping us from what is going on inside and around, the ultimate distraction. Communication is becoming a bit of a lost art because of text speak and the ease with which a message or email can be fired off. I think it's wonderful when strangers on a train are chatting away with each other instead of having their heads buried in a laptop or phone.

For me technology is an aid, something which makes certain things easier without removing me from the real world. Boards for example is a place I use for fun, discussion and information, not as an outlet for repressed anger or seeking approval or pouring my hurt or issues out in to a void hoping something comes back. We need to reflect a little more I think on the ways in which we use technology. I don't know how to go about making changes. In my eyes a world without Facebook is a better one but it isn't going anywhere anytime soon. It along with Snapchat, Twitter, bloggers, will continue to feed the increasing narcissistic world we live in.

The other potential peril is something a bit more removed from where we are at and that is the Singularity. I watched a film recently called Transcendence. This looks at what happens when human consciousness is uploaded on to a machine. Far fetched stuff but with the occurrence of a technological singularity it could be a reality.The very idea of a machine possessing a far greater intelligence than us mere humans, having thoughts that we are incapable of having, makes me feel very uneasy. Of course we have no clue as to how it might play out. It's impossible to predict the actions of intelligence beyond our own. Have you ever seen the film Her? Poor auld Joaquin Phoenix falls in love with a superior AI. It's worth a watch to understand a possible future. This world does not need a God like "person". We already have enough pretenders. There is so much about future technology that we don't understand. I think in the rush to progress and modernise we will forget the potential implications to human nature.
Luckily the above is just a hypothesis. Predictions from say when I was a child have not come to pass. We don't have flying cars or underwater cities or the ability to teleport.

That didn't really answer your question I know Wibbs. I don't have a solution just a hope it doesn't come to pass.

Surreptitious

Surreptitious wrote: »

I've been to see all your favourite musicians too

If you had a death row meal including a beverage, could you tell me what it would consist of?

A pint of Kinnegar Scraggy Bay, chips from Mulligans in Stoneybatter, a bowl of spinach tortellini with homemade pesto and a tub of Ben and Jerry's phish food.

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Is there anything about the future you're optimistic about from a technological/cultural standpoint? If so, what?

This one has me thinking acd Answer coming soon.

alchemist33 wrote: »

Roughly what percentage of views expressed in tGC do you agree with? Disagree with? Go "meh" about? (and why....?)

Some of the choices on the Easy on The Eye thread leave me scratching my head Seriously though I believe in the freedom of speech so tend to not get too worked up about views I disagree with. The biggest problem I have is when people can't or won't accept that every single person has their own way of doing things and just because you favour your way doesn't make it perfect. I couldn't give you actual percentages at all but that has more to do with my non-existent capacity for figures.

H3llR4iser wrote: »

Hey Persepoly, nice to see this AMA...

Got a couple for you:

What do you think of the completely forced "femalization" (sorry, just made that term up!) of mainstream media? E.g. shoving women in specific lead roles or having an entirely female cast for the pure sake of it? (not necessarily referring to Doctor Who, it's just the latest example - the 2016 Ghostbusters movie comes to mind as well).

Do you think "standard" feminism to be actually detrimental to women's cause, with its depicting of them as always needing "protection" and to be "helped"?

Thank you

I’m not too sure if it is just for the sake of it. It's not so much that I disagree with your view but rather I don't see it.

Assigning positions based purely on sex rather than merit and talent doesn’t sit well with me. I don’t agree with gender quotas or the token female on an all male board to give the illusion of equality. When it comes to the media well I’m not a Doctor Who fan but think having a woman in the role will refresh the character and create a different perspective. I saw the last Ghostbusters and thought it was a bit of fun and nothing more than that. How can you tell when the media are using women in certain roles purely to push a particular agenda or as you say “femalization” or that it’s a simple case of let’s try something different here and see if it works.

I’m a big fan of Steven King’s The Dark Tower series so was delighted to hear a film was finally being made. Idris Elba was will play the role of Roland. I don’t believe he was chosen simply for the colour of his skin in an attempt at being progressive and inclusive. Instead I see it as the studio’s inability to recreate completely a massive story so are re-imagining it and using a very different type of character to the one in the books. Do you see what I mean? It's easy in the times we live in to assume their is a particular agenda but it's not always the case.

I think "standard" feminism is detrimental in many ways. It seems like it is about creating division rather than building bridges. In fact it isn't really about protecting and helping women at all. I see it kind of the opposite. I'M A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO NEEDS NO MAN!! Well that's true but I want a man, hell sometimes I need one and I can be strong and independent at the same time.
What is so terrible about a man holding open the door? Being the main earner? Wanting to protect his family? I want a strong pair of hands and to know that there is someone who will look after me when the sh1t hits the fan. Yes I am more than capable and no doubt intelligent but allow me to be a woman, to be feminine and a bit vulnerable, and to blush if the lovely guy smiles at me and tells me that I'm looking well. It doesn't mean I'm going to be raped or abused or objectified.
In my eyes equality is about mutual respect and compassion. I believe in having the same opportunities and resources regardless of gender, colour, or creed. This is the UNICEF definition of equality and the one I agree with "women and men, and girls and boys, enjoy the same rights, resources, opportunities and protections. It does not require that girls and boys, or women and men, be the same, or that they be treated exactly alike." Neither gender should have the upper hand when it comes to fairness. We are all in this together, all standing under the same sky.

Yourself isit wrote: »

Favourite author? Book? TV Show?

Picking just one is next to impossible. I might have to cheat Sebastian Faulks, Ian McEwan, and John Banville for their amazing grasp of what it means to be human. Banville's book The Sea contains one of my all time favourite quotes "The past beats inside me like a second heart". Mankell and Jo Nesbo I love for creating a most compelling hero in the form of a flawed detective. It's getting trickier. A book. Let me think. Faulks' On Green Dolphin Street made a big impression on me when I first read it. It's about a woman in love with two men, one of whom is her husband. It's very sad really. I guess it reminds me how nothing is ever black and white especially matters of the heart. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings all three of them, Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials, Ian McEwan's On Chesil Beach. I can't pick just one book.

I'm a huge Game of Thrones fan but apart from that and The Wire and every Nordic Noir style show ever made, I will pick the American version of The Killing. I was absolutely hooked from beginning to end. If you have not watched it do so right now

H3llR4iser

Thanks for taking the time to reply!

Deleted User wrote: »

...I’m not a Doctor Who fan but think having a woman in the role will refresh the character and create a different perspective...

Let me clarify on this - I'm a "casual viewer" of Doctor Who (one which thinks David Tennant is THE doctor ) and to be honest, I DO welcome the idea of a lady Doctor - as you said, opens new possibilities and dynamics. I'm also of the idea that all the backlash from the Interwebz comes basically from moronic, shut-in basement dweller types who can't deal with the way the real world works (I met a few of them over the years - they'd make Sheldon Cooper from TBBT look like a jet-setter!).

Maybe it's just news outlets picking up on these things for the wrong reasons, and describing something like the choice of the entirely female cast of Ghostbusters as "progressive" and basically the "way to go".

Deleted User wrote: »

This is the UNICEF definition of equality and the one I agree with "women and men, and girls and boys, enjoy the same rights, resources, opportunities and protections. It does not require that girls and boys, or women and men, be the same, or that they be treated exactly alike." Neither gender should have the upper hand when it comes to fairness. We are all in this together, all standing under the same sky.

Yep, love this; Couldn't put it in better terms myself - telling, say, a colleague her new hairstyle looks great doesn't mean anything else than that.

The Black Oil

Aliens land on Earth tomorrow. How would you describe the internet to them?

KrustyUCC

The celebrity who most annoys you?

Bambi985

As a boards user who has always enjoyed your posts, you strike me as someone a bit unconventional, who marches to the beat of her own drum rather than following the crowd. Do you think that's an accurate description of you?

And what's your biggest regret in life?

The Black Oil

The Black Oil wrote: »

Aliens land on Earth tomorrow. How would you describe the internet to them?

I would tell them that;

The internet is a world all of its own. You have landed here on this planet and will see and experience so much but do you know that with the touch of a button and by typing in a few words you can sit back and watch and read and interact without ever having to move. Here we have a vast interconnected system of knowledge. It can be a source of fun showing you cats acting like humans and page after page which discusses you Mr Alien, it brings in to question your existence. Can you imagine? Down here most reasonable minded people believed you didn't exist and we kind of ridiculed the ones who did. I admit I was a non believer but here you are, standing in front of me asking for an explanation of are humankind's most amazing and terrible invention. Yes terrible.

For all it's good darkness lurks within so you must have your wits about you. Don't use it as a tool to hurt others or yourself. Please don't use it to destroy us humans for we are mostly a good and decent race. If you have a bad day or a bad year don't turn to spewing hate on a forum or bullying on social media.
So as with most things you will find as you acquaint yourself with earth there is light and dark and then there is you and how you choose to live.

KrustyUCC wrote: »

The celebrity who most annoys you?

Gods I don't know. I really couldn't give a damn about any of them enough to be annoyed. Let me see now. I'll take Ireland because it's a smaller pool. Yer wan Katherine Thomas is a bit of a dose I think. I used to really like her back in the No Frontiers days but she went through an odd transformation. The word 'brittle' comes to mind. Oh! And Bono! Also Bob Geldof and Glen Hansard and Lisa Hannigan.

Seems I have a few after all

Bambi985 wrote: »

As a boards user who has always enjoyed your posts, you strike me as someone a bit unconventional, who marches to the beat of her own drum rather than following the crowd. Do you think that's an accurate description of you?

And what's your biggest regret in life?

Thank you





That is a fairly accurate description of me Bambi. I've never been very good at playing the game, be it with career, relationships, education, everything really. I know how to and sometimes need to but it never feels quite right. I used to be very self-conscious as a teenager and really struggled with fitting in. There were so many ways I didn't. There were things I didn't want to do which would have made my life much easier if I had. The school disco for example didn't interest me in the slightest but because I never went it caused me to stick out even more. Those years were very difficult but I learned how it's ok to do your own thing. In fact it's better.

It's ok to put your head above the parapet now and then and tell it like it is. What good comes from living a life where you are asleep to yourself and the world around you. It's ok to show yourself and be real. What good will playing to the crowd do for you really? Mind you at the end of the day we all want different things from life and have different ways which make us happy. Just don't be afraid of yourself

I posted about regrets before and have changed my mind since them. They are an awful waste of energy but yes I have a few. The biggest is in relation to my mam. There was a time when I was difficult and it must have been awful for her. I made her cry I try to tell myself now that it's done with and mammy doesn't remember but that's not working very well these days.

Solomon Pleasant

Hello Persepoly,

What is your greatest regret in life?

What's the most influential book you've read and what impact did it have on your life?

Wibbs

Deleted User wrote: »

I posted about regrets before and have changed my mind since them. They are an awful waste of energy but yes I have a few. The biggest is in relation to my mam. There was a time when I was difficult and it must have been awful for her. I made her cry I try to tell myself now that it's done with and mammy doesn't remember but that's not working very well these days.

So long as she doesn't remember P, that's pretty much all that counts. Beating oneself up is to no good end. And I have a little experience in that regard.


If you had all the money in the world, what is the very first thing you would buy? What is the second?

kunst nugget

Deleted User wrote: »

I posted about regrets before and have changed my mind since them. They are an awful waste of energy but yes I have a few. The biggest is in relation to my mam. There was a time when I was difficult and it must have been awful for her. I made her cry I try to tell myself now that it's done with and mammy doesn't remember but that's not working very well these days.

I think the important thing is that you're not still making her cry. Every child needs to break away from their parents to have any hope of being a healthy and independent adult and to in turn enjoy a healthy, adult relationship with your parents. Sometimes that's going to involve tears on either side. But the important thing is your relationship now and not the petty, hurtful arguments you had that are unfortunately a necessary part of every parent-child relationship.

The problem is if you don't go through you can end up with those truly toxic Irish mammy relationships where the child is permanently a kidult with not much in the way of life skills and the parents are a smothering presence who have their noses in every aspect of the child's life.

mzungu

If you were given the opportunity to make changes to our educational curriculum ( either primary, secondary or third level), what would they be?

Solomon Pleasant

Solomon Pleasant wrote: »

Hello Persepoly,

What is your greatest regret in life?

What's the most influential book you've read and what impact did it have on your life?

Hello there


I mentioned in my response to Bambi that it's related to my mam. The regrets I have all stem from relationships, how I treated others and how I let myself be treated.


Sebastian Faulks on Green Dolphin Street gave me an insight in to love and loss. I was in my very early twenties when I first read it and full of idealism. It stirred something in me which I still have to this day. It is fiction of course but now and then the characters pop in to my head out of the blue. Strange the things which we remember. There is another book I read around that time called The Piano Tuner by Daniel Mason. I couldn't tell you what impact it had on me but it's another one that I remember from time to time. Always the ending as well. There are a few non fiction writers who always give me pause for thought. Irvin D Yalom is one. A beautiful writer of the human condition. I'm currently reading his Staring at The Sun which is about our attitude towards and fear of death.

Wibbs wrote: »

So long as she doesn't remember P, that's pretty much all that counts. Beating oneself up is to no good end. And I have a little experience in that regard.


If you had all the money in the world, what is the very first thing you would buy? What is the second?

You are right Wibbs. Tormenting myself is pointless and certainly not what Mam would want.
Money Money Money. The first thing I would buy is a house. I love property porn. Even more than real porn :pac: So many ideas and images are saved on my laptop. It would be a house overlooking the sea, quite dramatic. Sometimes I think a little cottage would be perfect and then I switch to a big Mandelay style mansion. Chateau Miraval but with a sea view. Ah dreams
http://www.wine-world.com/UserFiles/images/01-Chateau-Miraval-170316.jpg


The second thing I would buy is another house but this one for my best friend. My family are content and happy with their lot but I know she would love something bigger.

The Black Oil

How's your sense of direction?
Favourite park?
Favourite season/time of the year?
Perfect sandwich?

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

Is there anything about the future you're optimistic about from a technological/cultural standpoint? If so, what?

This question has me a bit flummoxed because I understand culture to encompass so much. I don't quite know where to start.
Here in Ireland there have been huge leaps towards a society which lives less and less under the cloak of Catholicism. It has been ingrained in Irish culture and I am happy to see that changing. I'm optimistic that it will loosen its grip on our education system. This is important. There is I feel many misguided beliefs still in existence around certain mental illnesses. There has been a huge drive towards bringing depression and anxiety in to the open removing stigma but we must do more to address the likes of schizophrenia, schizo-affective disorder, borderline personality disorders and similar.These are in my mind the darker side of mental illness and can cause fear in people because of a lack of understanding and awareness.
There’s a culture of repression regarding sex. We are finally accepting that love comes in different forms but our attitude towards the actual act of sex and all related activity is very hidden like it’s a dirty little secret. I’ve come across many an adult who struggled to say the words penis, vagina, orgasm, even condom. What’s that about? That embarrassment around body parts. Women who feel ashamed because they enjoy lots of sex, or who aren’t comfortable exploring their own bodies, have never masturbated. Men who jump from bed to bed because they can’t handle emotional intimacy so don’t stay around long enough. Incredibly unhealthy attitudes towards one of the most natural and pleasurable parts of being human.
Now there are many reasons for the above but cultural is one I think. Once upon a time sex was a mere task that had to be carried out in order to procreate and God help you if it occurred before marriage. I have hope this will change. If only because Ireland is moving ever forward. Same sex relationships are no longer taboo, same sex families are becoming more accepted. We see there are different ways to love so perhaps we can realise there is no shame attached to sex, no need for red faces and whispers.
I admit my knowledge wouldn’t be the best when it comes the future of technology. Something which does fascinate me however is biotechnology. Absolutely amazing how say a bionic hand can be controlled by a person’s brain signals. Sure who needs boring old flesh and blood! Touch Bionics is the company making this a reality. They also develop something called Living Skin which is as you imagine. The prosthesis is made from a special type of silicone and paint which matches natural skin tone. I think we will move towards a future where whole artificial limbs will be created to look perfectly life like and operate as real. Organ regeneration perhaps will become more likely. It already occurs with some tissues. The endometrium for example after each menstrual cycle breaks down and rebuilds itself. But imagine being able to regrow a lung from your own cells. As long as we don’t ever try to grow whole human beings straight from a lab then I’m optimistic

Pat Mustard

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm always drawn to the slightly out there concepts in life. Buddhism, meditation, mind altering psychedelics,

Pray tell.

A bit slow with the responses this week but they are coming

Bambi985

What's your Achilles heel?

Bambi985

Bambi985 wrote: »

What's your Achilles heel?

Yikes. I have more than one

Heading home now so I'll sit down and answer.

retro:electro

Hi PP, always enjoy your posts.
What would you say makes you, you?

mzungu

mzungu wrote: »

If you were given the opportunity to make changes to our educational curriculum ( either primary, secondary or third level), what would they be?

I wouldn´t be a fan of our education system. From primary up I feel that there is no space for difference. There is a curriculum to be delivered and each child must follow successfully within its lines. Thankfully each child is an individual with their own minds and interests. If they do badly at say history, maths and geography then nurture their strengths. There is quite an array of different intelligences so children should not feel less than if they struggle with spelling or maths. I also believe we should be focusing on teaching children how to be better humans.

There is a program called Roots of Empathy. It began in Canada and was founded by Mary Gordon who is a writer and advocate for children and their development. Mary wanted to create something which would teach people to be kind to each other and thought no better place to begin than in childhood. The program is carried out in classrooms where as mother and baby ranging in age from two to four months of age come in and basically teach the children about the feelings of others. It occurs over the school year and pupils can see the baby grow and develop. It is based on observation and engagement. The children will see different situations where the baby will display a range of emotions. This develops their awareness of other human beings and their ability to recognise emotions in others and of course themselves. The loving interaction between mother and baby shows the children empathy in action as the parent responds to the baby´s needs.

Learning happens all of the time not just in the classroom. There is as far as I can see little to no flexibility within the current curriculum. School starts and finishes at the same time everyday, subjects are given the same slot and a set duration. I remember when I was a little girl the excitement on a sunny day when the teacher brought us outside for our lessons. That one simple act was enough to shake the hum drum of monotony from me. Do you remember nature walks? Wouldn´t it be great if every morning our kids were heading off on a little adventure? There is very little room for creativity I think. This is why I can see the benefits of home schooling. An effective and in tune parent will ensure that all elements of their child´s development are looked after even though they are away from the classroom. There is no need for their social skills to suffer if the parent actively encourages meeting other children. It is certainly an option I would consider if I had kids.

Really what I would like is a curriculum which nurtures all children regardless of them being triangles or squares

The Black Oil wrote: »

How's your sense of direction?
Favourite park?
Favourite season/time of the year?
Perfect sandwich?

My sense of direction is rather awful. If someone asks me for help finding a place I know well I still struggle to direct them. I can´t read maps. To me they look like impenetrable sqiggles with a bunch of place names scattered about. The sat nav on my phone isn´t working properly these days which will be a bit unnerving for me if I need to drive some place new. Luckily I have no problem whatsoever asking for directions or the nearest petrol station because I often get caught short. Ah but it´s an adventure getting lost.

I don´t have a favourite park because they aren´t places I tend to go. Maybe if I have child with me we will go have a wander around and a swing on the swings.

A toss up between autumn and winter. I love dry cold bright days with a nice coating of frost every where and my breath making shapes in the air.

Now this is a hard question I can be a bit boring when it comes to sandwiches so a really nice ham and cheese. Real butter, real ham, real cheese, real bread. None of your plastic stuff. Oh but I also love pesto and chicken and sun dried tomatoes. Shame I have to avoid bread most of the time. It likes me far less than I like it.

Pat Mustard wrote: »

Pray tell.

My interest psychedelic drugs came from an early fascination with Jim Morrison. I could write and write about him an his strange life but I´m hungry so will leave you with this

His band The Doors took their name from an Aldous Huxley book ¨The Doors of Perception¨. The book is about Huxley´s experience with mescaline. He was looking for that all elusive and seductive experience of spiritual enlightenment. A psychiatrist by the name of Osmond wrote a research paper on mescaline which Huxley read. Thinking all his Christmases had come at once he invited the psychiatrist to his home to take part in the experiment which was of course taking the drug. Over the course of a day he experienced a kind of altering of how he perceived the world around him. There were no great flashes of enlightenment. It was more subtle. He looks at paintings, listens to Mozart, spends time in his garden, all with an intensity and clarity of vision which he didn´t have before. He was a bit of a lunatic no doubt but a very interesting one. Actually the name of his book came from a poem the name of which escapes me but I have one of the lines wrote down ¨If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things through narrow chinks of his cavern¨.

I am too much of a coward to try any psychedelics myself. I have a strong feeling that it would be a very bad idea for me. The darkness would descend and I would become a prisoner of intense emotions and God knows I have enough of that in reality. It am interested in the experiences of others and if it really does lead to that enlightenment, that moment of clarity. Something else I wonder about is the many ways in which we try to escape. Some people will never cease searching for a greater meaning or experience than their own reality. Ayahausca now has a whole tourist industry built around it as travellers set out eager to experience what has become a sort of rite of passage. Have a google for Timothy Leary. He was another strange one.

Permabear

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@bambi

@bambi, this is a perplexing question for me because I have more than one. However they can all be encompassed within the one issue and that's self-esteem.

Mine changes. Once upon a time it was a kind of faraway idea of how I should feel. No matter how many times my mam said she loved me or that I was beautiful or clever it never really sank in. I believed that she believed but it didn't reach me the way it should have. There are reasons for this which I won't get in to here but it has been a constant piece of self development.

Somewhere along the way I did start to believe and now it's healthy enough but at the same time it can waver. It's as if no matter how confident and self-assured I feel there is an underlying vulnerabilty. A voice that says "not good enough"

That voice is a scourge. It appears at the worst times. I went through a bad patch with dating a few years ago. Nothing was working out.
Every "I'm sorry but" "I had a nice time but"
"you no longer give me butterflies"
was in my mind "you are not enough"

I'd spiral down in to self-pity and resentment. It took a lot of heartache to come out the other side of such a mind set. The voice is still there but these days I do my best to not give it control. Self-esteem is the cornerstone of our state of mind. It determines how we see ourselves. Do we get up and fight another day or do we lie down because we feel we aren't worth it.

The last few weeks haven't been great for me. I've been full of doubt and battling the old body image demons. Yet how I view myself is certainly better than ten even five years ago even in those times of unsteadiness. It is enough to make self-esteem my Achilles heel


@anna, What makes me me is my honesty with myself. I know my failings, my faults, all the ways I've messed up. Also I can see my positives without worrying about appearing big headed or arrogant. It's a case of "they just are".
I know who I am. That person isn't always at her best or nicest but I know. So many people walk around blind to themselves for fear of what they will see. Sure where is the adventure in that? Isn't it better to see yourself and to be aware?

There is another thing and that's I'm not scared of my feelings. They can hurt and be a pain in the bum but far too many of us are caught up with distractions. Feel your feelings. Let them wash over you. If they are bad then cry, scream, beat a pillow. It's far better to be numb. If you are numb to the not so nice emotions then chances are you'll be numb to the good ones. That's no life.