Bullying and Nastiness on Facebook and Twitter

razorblunt

FFS, you didn't share my update, stop bullying me!

That's right up there with 1 Like = AMEN, scroll past if you don't care aboudedyinnnbaabbbbies.
I've gotten into a few arguments with a friend of the wife as I don't "like" or "follow" the pages she sets up for businesses when she sends blanket invites to all her contacts. She's since been defriended, which went down very well!

I do agree, though, that a lot of people are operating under the assumption that they're untouchable behind their monitor. In essence they're true keyboard warriors. Some of them aren't smart enough to not put their employer on the Bios. I've heard of two lads being fired for their FB activity.

retro:electro

Maybe someone just doesn't agree or like what you've posted? It doesn't mean they're bullying you. Good grief how do some people manage to get by day to day. I never like or share anything on Facebook. I guess I'm a big bully.

Dravokivich

hehe, I just remembered this from a few years ago.



:pac:

angryIreGamer

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

In general the internet is not for everyone

it is.

valoren

Dravokivich wrote: »

What are you on about?

I've a friend who constantly reposts competitions on Facebook. So I "unfollowed " him. No problem.

Chances are if them too lads aren't mightly keen on each other right now, one of them could have unfollowed the other.

Also, the facebook feed is terrible. It shows you things it thinks you'll be interested in. It's likely depending on how much other stuff runs through facebook the other guy never saw your cousin's post.

It's not a case of you didn't like it....ergo you're bullying me. Or not liking their inane posts.
It's the blatant, calculated digs at someone that nobody else would suspect that is my point.

For example, if I privately loaned money, say a couple of hundred euro, to a friend on my facebook list, but they're haven't paid me back yet. I could easily bully that person by sharing and liking random posts from other FB pages such as memes of pictures including phrases like 'Don't you hate it when you loan money and it never get's repaid?"....or...."People who take money and weasel out of repaying are assholes!" etc etc.

I would be taking a calculated, pointed dig at the 'friend' but everyone else would see those same posts and be completely ignorant of the malicious intent behind it. They might even 'like' the content of the message unaware of the real life situation. If the target of the bullying actually said anything about my tactless digs, I could easily twist it around on them accusing them of the bullying, declaring that I didn't post it myself, I merely liked/shared it, what's the problem etc etc. It's how a psychological bully operates. Provoke, then play the victim, if called out on the provocation.

Dealing with such bullies in real life is akin to this; (an absurdist example obviously)

You are a fool!
Are you accusing me of being stupid?
Are you accusing me of making accusations!?!
What you said is untrue and totally uncalled for
More accusations! And you are calling me a liar now too? You’re being hostile and just name calling now..it’s pathetic...leave me alone.
Why would you say that to me!?
You are harassing me now. You were told to leave me alone.
No, I want an explanation. Why would you say I'm a fool?? Explain what you meant by that.
I TOLD you to stop harassing me! Look everyone, I am being victimized by that evil person! And for NO reason!!!!!!!

messy tessy

andekwarhola wrote: »

I didn't give this post a like.

There were some other fantastic posts that I did like though.

Deliberate mindgames yo!

messy tessy

Dravokivich wrote: »

hehe, I just remembered this from a few years ago.



:pac:

This thread is absolutely bonkers but was worth reading for this alone!

BuilderPlumber

Silver Lynel wrote: »

"a deliberate form of bullying by deliberately not liking 'friends' pages, posts, etc. or by talking nonstop to them one day and deliberately ignoring them the next."

I'm sorry but this does not make any sense to me at all.

Under what circumstances am I obligated to "like" someones posts or pages on Facebook?

What if I don't log in on Monday and Tuesday and don't have the time to scroll all the way through the timeline to like everything that's deemed important enough to like?

What if I have a lot of friends and liked pages who are posting sometimes 10 times per day? I can't go through all of that. I will generally scroll down a little bit and then get on with my day. It's simply not possible to see everything.

So, yeah, I might be talking to someone via Facebook on Friday evening as I get ready to pack things up for the weekend and they might be telling me about their wedding or their marathon they will do on Saturday and that's all great.

So now I have to make sure I am online on Saturday and on Facebook and then have to go to that specific persons page to give them likes?

If I don't do that I'm a bully?

That you would honestly demand that people like your stuff on Facebook, else they be labelled a bully, seems an almost unbelievable sense of entitlement.

Read the REST of what I posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BuilderPlumber

anna080 wrote: »

Maybe someone just doesn't agree or like what you've posted? It doesn't mean they're bullying you. Good grief how do some people manage to get by day to day. I never like or share anything on Facebook. I guess I'm a big bully.

It HAS to be done along with other things as I already explained. You will KNOW when you are dealing with a mindgames bully. Believe me.

BuilderPlumber

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

Read the REST of what I posted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, you're coming as a bit 'emotional' in your posts there friendo.

BuilderPlumber

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

This has to be one of the silliest things I have read on this site.

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

BuilderPlumber

Omackeral wrote: »

Yeah, you're coming as a bit 'emotional' in your posts there friendo.

Because 1. I know what I am talking about and 2. I explained that deliberate ignoring as part of a mindgames campaign with abusive messaging, etc. is what I am talking about and not just ignoring.

BuilderPlumber

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

Block them across all platforms of communications if that's the case. It's that easy. Block them on FB, Viber, Whatsapp, mobile. Just do it if they're having this effect on you. Take the power from them becuase it's you that's giving it to them by keeping these lines of communication open.

BuilderPlumber

Omackeral wrote: »

Block them across all platforms of communications if that's the case. It's that easy. Block them on FB, Viber, Whatsapp, mobile. Just do it if they're having this effect on you. Take the power from them becuase it's you that's giving it to them by keeping these lines of communication open.

I have done that. Not on FB or Twitter anymore, not on Viber or Whatsapp and have blocked people like that on mobile. Believe me, I have learned my lesson.

BuilderPlumber

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

I have done that. Not on FB or Twitter anymore, not on Viber or Whatsapp and have blocked people like that on mobile. Believe me, I have learned my lesson.

Good. So it's a good ending getting rid of bad rubbish?

retro:electro

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

That's a totally different situation to what your op is about.

kunst nugget

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

That's not what you were talking about in your OP though. You were going on about people ignoring your posts and how that was bullying which is what people thought was silly. Getting abusive messages is a totally different kettle of fish.

kunst nugget

valoren wrote: »

You are a fool!
Are you accusing me of being stupid?
Are you accusing me of making accusations!?!
What you said is untrue and totally uncalled for
More accusations! And you are calling me a liar now too? You’re being hostile and just name calling now..it’s pathetic...leave me alone.
Why would you say that to me!?
You are harassing me now. You were told to leave me alone.
No, I want an explanation. Why would you say I'm a fool?? Explain what you meant by that.
I TOLD you to stop harassing me! Look everyone, I am being victimized by that evil person! And for NO reason!!!!!!!

You've the strangest inner dialogues…

valoren

kunst nugget wrote: »

You've the strangest inner dialogues…

Not mine. Came across it when reading about bullying before.

Yourself isit

Permabear wrote: »

This post had been deleted.

Yes. It's clear that it's peaked or peaking. Social networks depend on the networks effect (of course) if enough people move somewhere else then the service becomes less useful and the negative effects are amplified.

Dravokivich

valoren wrote: »

It's not a case of you didn't like it....ergo you're bullying me. Or not liking their inane posts.
It's the blatant, calculated digs at someone that nobody else would suspect that is my point.

For example, if I privately loaned money, say a couple of hundred euro, to a friend on my facebook list, but they're haven't paid me back yet. I could easily bully that person by sharing and liking random posts from other FB pages such as memes of pictures including phrases like 'Don't you hate it when you loan money and it never get's repaid?"....or...."People who take money and weasel out of repaying are assholes!" etc etc.

I would be taking a calculated, pointed dig at the 'friend' but everyone else would see those same posts and be completely ignorant of the malicious intent behind it. They might even 'like' the content of the message unaware of the real life situation. If the target of the bullying actually said anything about my tactless digs, I could easily twist it around on them accusing them of the bullying, declaring that I didn't post it myself, I merely liked/shared it, what's the problem etc etc. It's how a psychological bully operates. Provoke, then play the victim, if called out on the provocation.

Dealing with such bullies in real life is akin to this; (an absurdist example obviously)

You are a fool!
Are you accusing me of being stupid?
Are you accusing me of making accusations!?!
What you said is untrue and totally uncalled for
More accusations! And you are calling me a liar now too? You’re being hostile and just name calling now..it’s pathetic...leave me alone.
Why would you say that to me!?
You are harassing me now. You were told to leave me alone.
No, I want an explanation. Why would you say I'm a fool?? Explain what you meant by that.
I TOLD you to stop harassing me! Look everyone, I am being victimized by that evil person! And for NO reason!!!!!!!

I think that's reaching a bit.

freshpopcorn

I asked the OP(BuilderPlumber) this question last night!

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Just a question to the OP. Why do your friends spend all their time checking Facebook likes and comments on their posts? and more importantly why do they care?

He/She has clearly been online and has ignored my question. They has responded to posts and thanked posts. I wonder who the bully is now?

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

BuilderPlumber

kunst nugget wrote: »

That's not what you were talking about in your OP though. You were going on about people ignoring your posts and how that was bullying which is what people thought was silly. Getting abusive messages is a totally different kettle of fish.

From the start, I meant DELIBERATE ignoring of texts done as PART of a campaign by a person who is a psychological bully playing mindgames. One will be very aware of the difference between innocent or indifferent ignoring of posts or pages and the actions of a person playing mindgames to hurt one. The latter type will generally play one and press all the buttons that hurt one when they have 'befriended' you to know what you care about and what hurts you.

eviltwin

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

From the start, I meant DELIBERATE ignoring of texts done as PART of a campaign by a person who is a psychological bully playing mindgames. One will be very aware of the difference between innocent or indifferent ignoring of posts or pages and the actions of a person playing mindgames to hurt one. The latter type will generally play one and press all the buttons that hurt one when they have 'befriended' you to know what you care about and what hurts you.

How do you know when your posts have been ignored as opposed to just not been seen? I use FB but I tend not to go through my feed so there are lots of things my friends are posting that I tend not to see. Anything I do like will usually be the first couple of posts.

BuilderPlumber

eviltwin wrote: »

How do you know when your posts have been ignored as opposed to just not been seen? I use FB but I tend not to go through my feed so there are lots of things my friends are posting that I tend not to see. Anything I do like will usually be the first couple of posts.

Because you will have a 'friend' who you know is very hurtful and will be doing a wide range of nasty things to you. What you are describing above is normal Facebook usage and that is totally different to people who DELIBERATELY engage in ignoring posts, etc. or even worse, writing ignorant or abusive messages on them. As said, one will KNOW when they are dealing with a psychological online bully playing mindgames.

freshpopcorn

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

Because you will have a 'friend' who you know is very hurtful and will be doing a wide range of nasty things to you. What you are describing above is normal Facebook usage and that is totally different to people who DELIBERATELY engage in ignoring posts, etc. or even worse, writing ignorant or abusive messages on them. As said, one will KNOW when they are dealing with a psychological online bully playing mindgames.

You ignored my post on this!
Your nothing but a bully.

eviltwin

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

Because you will have a 'friend' who you know is very hurtful and will be doing a wide range of nasty things to you. What you are describing above is normal Facebook usage and that is totally different to people who DELIBERATELY engage in ignoring posts, etc. or even worse, writing ignorant or abusive messages on them. As said, one will KNOW when they are dealing with a psychological online bully playing mindgames.

Why don't you just unfriend them then

kunst nugget

I've never been bullied on social media (facebook is about the only platform I use) but then my friend list is relatively small and I don't accept friend requests from people I don't like or that I'd be on the fence about. If someone tried to bully me but not liking my posts I'd never even notice. If someone sent me abusive texts, I wouldn't engage with them (I might have years ago but life's too short for me to worry about it these days). I'd block them and get on with my life.

conorhal

eviltwin wrote: »

Why don't you just unfriend them then

But then I'd have fewer 'friends'/followers/likes and no 'drama' to bitch about. Duh, bruh!

The Backwards Man

I'm lucky I only have enemies, friends sound like fierce hard work altogether.

scamalert

For example, a so-called 'friend' can deliberately ignore a person when online or can deliberately not like or share a post for the sole purpose of making the other person feel bad.

think highlighted part applies only to kids 7 to 14yrs old,if one is concerned with such issues theres more going then some facebook crap and actually shows person lacks proper social skills in the first place.

Social media is ok for those who you do know and want to keep in touch, doing anything besides that is utter waste of time that majority seems to stare all day long how someone else lives or what they do is just sad behavior.
Which seems is the norm for adults as well nowadays,just to take pics of holidays or write every minute of their day sounds miserable stuff and in many cases its reverse situation where they are so image conscious that instead of actually enjoying what they do most focus on documenting it.

J Mysterio

Me_Grapes wrote: »

Not awknowledging or replying to every inane post my friends on Facebook make does not mean I am psychologically bullying. Or maybe I'm just lucky that none of my friends are that needy and require instantaneous gratification 24/7.

These are the snowflakes that the 21st Century Western World are producing. Damn you, Social Media.

I am after reading an insane, abusive, and nasty comment on the social media feed of a politician its perplexing why would anyone threaten or abuse a politician on social media. I know all the theories of why it happens politicians seem remote ect. Now you could say the politician is teflen coated and doesn't care and at times finds it funny, however the same politician could have a wife or a mother who might not not be so tough. There is also the remote possibility that the poster is dangerous.

B.A._Baracus

Was reading an article a month ago (maybe it was posted on here too?) and the Gardai claim that they get A LOT of calls from people reporting others for saying nasty things about them on facebook, twitter etc

Let that sink in... Someone calls you whatever on Facebook and you ring the guards.

Honestly I didn't believe it when I read it. But social media does spread narcissist behavior, not to mention the whole "I'm important!" mentality. Garda probably aint lying.

Dravokivich

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Was reading an article a month ago (maybe it was posted on here too?) and the Gardai claim that they get A LOT of calls from people reporting others for saying nasty things about them on facebook, twitter etc

Let that sink in... Someone calls you whatever on Facebook and you ring the guards.

Honestly I didn't believe it when I read it. But social media does spread narcissist behavior, not to mention the whole "I'm important!" mentality. Garda probably aint lying.

I think part of that could be due it being slander, as it's content that's published and could pose an issue with regards to one's Public Image.

freshpopcorn

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Was reading an article a month ago (maybe it was posted on here too?) and the Gardai claim that they get A LOT of calls from people reporting others for saying nasty things about them on facebook, twitter etc

Let that sink in... Someone calls you whatever on Facebook and you ring the guards.

Honestly I didn't believe it when I read it. But social media does spread narcissist behavior, not to mention the whole "I'm important!" mentality. Garda probably aint lying.

I believe this without a doubt!

B.A._Baracus

Dravokivich wrote: »

I think part of that could be due it being slander, as it's content that's published and could pose an issue with regards to one's Public Image.

You would naturally think that. But the article was about the wasted use of police time type thing. Then it went into how people ring the guards up over social media posts.


So... knowing how stupid people can be I reckon a lot of reports would make you laugh :pac:

freshpopcorn

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

You would naturally think that. But the article was about the wasted use of police time type thing. Then it went into how people ring the guards up over social media posts.


So... knowing how stupid people can be I reckon a lot of reports would make you laugh :pac:

Yes, certain people will ring the Gardai over any little incident or noise in reality or online. I'm not saying don't ring the Gardai but some people need to know when to and when not to.

Irish Guitarist

Not liking a post is bullying now?

If you don't like this post I'm going to the guards.

Annasopra

BuilderPlumber wrote: »

How would you feel then if someone picked on you because of your sexual orientation or whatever, you KNEW that person ignored your posts because of this and you got bombarded by abusive texts every day via social media and a phone from the same person. Not so silly is it!! Think before you judge what someone says as silly.

I dont honestly know what to say.

I am genuinely worried for you if you believe ignoring social media posts is bullying. Seriously if a person ignores my posts. Big bloody swing. Let them. Of course abusive text messages, social media messages and phone calls could be considered part of bullying but honestly ignoring posts no. Just no.

spookwoman

Ignoring posts is nothing. But you're forgetting the lynchmob mentality. say joe and his 150 mates all come in to abuse you even though Joe was the one at fault and just got caught being the b*llox.
They say teens are the worse I don't know about that know plenty of 50+ who once they get behind the keyboard are the nastiest pieces of work about.

Annasopra

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

Was reading an article a month ago (maybe it was posted on here too?) and the Gardai claim that they get A LOT of calls from people reporting others for saying nasty things about them on facebook, twitter etc

Let that sink in... Someone calls you whatever on Facebook and you ring the guards.

Honestly I didn't believe it when I read it. But social media does spread narcissist behavior, not to mention the whole "I'm important!" mentality. Garda probably aint lying.

It depends what the "nasty thing" is.

If someone made a rape or death threat about me I would goto the Gardai.

greysheep

Agree with OP to an extent. The amount of bullying and nasty comments passed off as 'banter' is huge.

If you wouldn't say it to a person face to face don't say it from behind a screen.

B.A._Baracus

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

It depends what the "nasty thing" is.

If someone made a rape or death threat about me I would goto the Gardai.

Yet, as said in my other post, the article was about people reporting things that are wasting gardai time.

the keyword is "wasting"

BuilderPlumber

Joeytheparrot wrote: »

I dont honestly know what to say.

I am genuinely worried for you if you believe ignoring social media posts is bullying. Seriously if a person ignores my posts. Big bloody swing. Let them. Of course abusive text messages, social media messages and phone calls could be considered part of bullying but honestly ignoring posts no. Just no.

Ignoring posts on its own, no. Ignoring posts ALONG with other things from the same person such as abusive messages, etc. along with deliberate belittling of posts. Yes. As said one knows when they are dealing with online abuse. Plus it should be a sustained thing not a once off. A once off is a person having a bad day. Sustained abusive action is what it has to be.

BuilderPlumber

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

Not liking a post is bullying now?

If you don't like this post I'm going to the guards.

Never said it was by itself. As part of a deliberate sustained campaign along with other tactics, yes. An online psychological bully can start off doing subtle things that at first may not even be noticed. They will try and win over a person's trust and try and get one to like them before getting increasingly nastier and nastier.

To take it to extreme levels, death, rape and other violent threats can be made. Never experienced that thank god or either is my friend who is currently experiencing online abuse. I advised this friend to delete the bully or get off social media.

On the positive side though online bullies can change. I know people who admitted to playing online put down mind games directed at people and now they regret it. Sadly, it takes things like a suicide to wake people up to realise what they are doing.

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

osarusan

You keep saying "one knows" when they are dealing with online bullies as opposed to people just not reacting to their posts, because you "know" the motivation behind their lack or comment/reaction...but I don't think you do know, really.

You haven't been able to substantiate how one "knows" at all.

If somebody is sending abusive messages or texts, that's the problem, rather than what they are not doing on Facebook.

BuilderPlumber

mariaalice wrote: »

I am after reading an insane, abusive, and nasty comment on the social media feed of a politician its perplexing why would anyone threaten or abuse a politician on social media. I know all the theories of why it happens politicians seem remote ect. Now you could say the politician is teflen coated and doesn't care and at times finds it funny, however the same politician could have a wife or a mother who might not not be so tough. There is also the remote possibility that the poster is dangerous.

This is another related issue and warrants discussion too. Of course we all have issues with politicians and other public figures. People are entitled to complain about elected representatives and for anything they pay for (e.g. TV licences). BUT I think one needs to draw the line between complaints and abuse. I don't think politicians no matter how poor their policies and personalities are deserve to have their appearance ridiculed or (at the more sinister end of the scale) receive death threats, bullets in the post, or having people threaten that they are stalking them, etc. Same goes for bank managers, etc. This can be carried out throughout the politician's, bank manager's, etc. entire family and it is not good.