Pathological gambling

wiggle16

That's brilliant OP, well done! Fair play to you!

Fulfil

Thanks very much I appreciate the kind words!

Contessa Raven

I remember this thread. I worked in a bookies for a few years and stories like yours are not uncommon.
I am so happy for you OP. Well done!

Fulfil

Over 2 months & 2 paydays later and no bet, no even the slightest urge to have a bet. That Audio book was genuinely a life saver. Anyone that has a problem, It costs about 10 Euro on Audible, download it and listen to it in the car on the way to work or anywhere. It has completely and utterly changed my life!

eric hoone

Ongoing struggle for many of us, gambling costs addicts so much in terms of money but more importantly time, relationships, potential. Well done and good luck!

Well done man..fair play..
I would just add, don't get complacent..
One bet could be the end of it..that book might not work again..(smoking one didn't work for me after the first time..)

Anyway..best of luck dude..

ASISEEIT

Fulfil wrote: »

Hi,

I'm posting here because I really can't find any worthwhile threads online of people that have been in the same position as me with non judgemental worthwhile suggestions.

I'm 26, i'm a gambling addict & I can't stop, even though I know the huge effect it is having on my life & people close to me. I've lost thousands upon thousands since i started around 9 years ago. I've been working since i've been 17 & I can safely say at least 70% of every salary I've had has been gambled. I'm now on the bones of 60 k a year, still gambling. Never really happy & faking a happy life. I play sport at a good level, great family, friends. I don't really want for anything except to be financially stable & be able to build my own house in a few years. That's not going to happen if I continue how I am. I'm looking for people ( & I know there are very few based on stats i've seen online) that have been in my situation & have came out the other side.

I'm considering doing CBT ( Cognitive behavioural therapy ), has anyone ever done this? Has it worked?

I've tried GA meetings & maybe it's just me but I can't buy into the whole power of god,faith thing. Especially when religion has become pretty irrelevant to me.

I don't exactly know what i'm looking for by posting this thread, just someone that has had a similar experience & what they done to get out the other side.

I'll literally do anything.

Thanks,

Fulfil

There are secular alternatives TO GA/AA. Try Lifering. Goggle them. Most treatment centres have secular alternatives. Enquire there

JustAThought

Glad to hear somethhing is working for you OP. Hopefully you might get to fill your life with something that fulfills you and takes up time so you're not sitting around dwelling - maybe helping coach a team or training for a triathalon or sthing? Exercise helps you feel fantastic so cycling or running might plug that dopamine gap.

Re the house - I shared with a guy who was a gambling addict -I knew nothing of it when we started as flatmates. The first few months eere ok but pretty soon it was obvious he had money issues -I thought it was work (sales & commission issues) but in the long run it became apparent it was gambling. Bulls wre 'forgotten', rent was often late, and he participated in nothing we did as a group as he was always busy - his cash went on his habbit. We stopped including him in our plsns or inviting him out as he just always messed things up for us.

As his behavious got more and more sneeky regarding bills and his rent almost always being overdue & paid later we just got utterly sick of his lies, endless excuses and selfish behaviour and told him to leave & find somewhere else to live. He had no friends, no interests other than gambling, no social network and no future. That was 4 years and we see him from time to time and he hasnt changed it seems.

If you have your goal of having a house and not living in a dossers hostel like our ex flatmate or hoping your parents will put up with you and let you move in with them in your 40s or 50s when you still have nothing, then try and focus on the financial goal of the house. Tell you mother or whomever controlles your finances to put by 50% into a savings account for that and that it totally untouchable. If you are lying to your mother and putting her under pressure then see if you can get a solicitor involved to set it up and manage it for you -tell them the truth that you lie about emergencies to release the money to gamble so thet they know about you & your habnits before they start. It is fairer that putting all this stress and pressure on your mother and involving her in the endless stress of your habnit which is totally selfish and unfair. A solicitor is less likely to take bull**** from you without proofs or show the same compassion as your mother!

Best of luck.

shamrock55

Block yourself from all the gambling sites is the first thing to do anyway,online gambling is a scourge and is being blasted all over our TV screens ever 2 mins

Fulfil

I don't need to block myself from gambling anymore, I can speak freely about it, I can walk into a bookmakers now & not even consider doing a bet. 

How? After being so enthralled in it for so long? Answer is pretty simple, why would i do something that once caused me so much pain and ruined my life? What benefit will i gain from having a bet? None. Misery. I don't need any will power, if i needed will power it would mean i'm refraining myself from something that has a positive impact on my life; from something that I want to do. I have no desire to gamble anymore, why? Because it in no way shape or form benefits me. I never had money as a gambler, I now have more money than i've ever had. 

If you know someone with a problem. Make them listen to the book. It will convince them beyond doubt that gambling is nothing but a burden on their life and as soon as they stop they will live the life of a happy non gambler. 

I'm free since April 13th & It has been the best 3 months I have had since I was 16/17. 
Best of luck & if anyone has any questions feel free to send me a message. 
Mod Note: Please keep all posts public, and on thread.

Side note: To the guy that messaged me privately telling me that giving up completely is pretty much impossible after so many years doing it, and that he could give me an alternative method where he could control my money flow and actually encouraged trying to "beat the bookies" with his method. F*** off and stop hunting on threads like this for vulnerable people. 

Big Bag of Chips

Fulfil, please report the PM received. Requesting or offering PMs in Personal Issues is forbidden for the very reason you describe. Vulnerable people can be preyed upon.

Please report the PM you received so as to protect other vulnerable posters here.

Thanks,
BBoC

Fulfil

Update here. Still gambling free, i've been on more trips/holidays in the last 15 months than I was for my whole period as a gambler and I've found a girl I am completely head over heels about. All because I decided to listen to an Audio book 2 weeks before I got paid and it stopped me gambling for good. I've never been as happy. Madness really.

I hope this thread helps someone else

strandroad

Fulfil wrote: »

Update here. Still gambling free, i've been on more trips/holidays in the last 15 months than I was for my whole period as a gambler and I've found a girl I am completely head over heels about. All because I decided to listen to an Audio book 2 weeks before I got paid and it stopped me gambling for good. I've never been as happy. Madness really.

I hope this thread helps someone else

Fair play OP, for your achievements and for the updates too. Well done.

sReq | uTeK

Fulfil wrote: »

Update here. Still gambling free, i've been on more trips/holidays in the last 15 months than I was for my whole period as a gambler and I've found a girl I am completely head over heels about. All because I decided to listen to an Audio book 2 weeks before I got paid and it stopped me gambling for good. I've never been as happy. Madness really.

I hope this thread helps someone else

Well done, very happy for you and glad your life is going well

ILoveYourVibes

Fulfil wrote: »

Sorry this is my first time using this so I don't really know what i'm doing!

Online if I have money in my account, in the betting shops if I have money in my pocket.

Mostly horse racing, Dogs, Sports betting like rugby, GAA, Soccer. Anything to be honest. It's pathetic.

Tell everyone in your life.

Tell your employer too. (it will put pressure on you not to gamble at work)

Every thing you do say if you make a huge bet etc tell people.

Being honest and laying it all out there is the first step.

The biggest thing that destroys gamblers is the facade they are rolling in it or not gambling.

Get rid of the facade the rest will fall into place.

If you know people from the gambling world say goodbye to them.

You have to make a new life. You can't see them anymore. Even if they are not addicts. People can gamble a lot and just never become addicted or never make crazy decisions that is them. This is you.

Get some kind of ad blocker to block out websites etc.

Take a different route to avoid betting shops. Don't drive by them anymore. Even get someone to drop you and pick you up from work if needed.
Hand over your phone for a while.
Block all numbers pertaining to gambling.

Get yourself self banned from everywhere.

Get into some addiction counseling.

Start planing out your days what you will do from 9am to 3 etc from 3 to 9pm etc particularly on the weekends..

You have to get yourself to a year free of gambling. Then to five yrs. It gets easier.

There will come a time when you can walk into a betting shop and not bet. But why are people walking into betting shops if not to bet? Its not like its a social thing like a pub.

If races are a social thing for you then yes you will be able to go and not bet and have fun. It will take a year or two though.

When the itch is gone you'll feel its gone . You'll know.

sReq | uTeK

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Tell everyone in your life.

Tell your employer too. (it will put pressure on you not to gamble at work)

Every thing you do say if you make a huge bet etc tell people.

Being honest and laying it all out there is the first step.

The biggest thing that destroys gamblers is the facade they are rolling in it or not gambling.

Get rid of the facade the rest will fall into place.

If you know people from the gambling world say goodbye to them.

You have to make a new life. You can't see them anymore. Even if they are not addicts. People can gamble a lot and just never become addicted or never make crazy decisions that is them. This is you.

Get some kind of ad blocker to block out websites etc.

Take a different route to avoid betting shops. Don't drive by them anymore. Even get someone to drop you and pick you up from work if needed.
Hand over your phone for a while.
Block all numbers pertaining to gambling.

Get yourself self banned from everywhere.

Get into some addiction counseling.

Start planing out your days what you will do from 9am to 3 etc from 3 to 9pm etc particularly on the weekends..

You have to get yourself to a year free of gambling. Then to five yrs. It gets easier.

There will come a time when you can walk into a betting shop and not bet. But why are people walking into betting shops if not to bet? Its not like its a social thing like a pub.

If races are a social thing for you then yes you will be able to go and not bet and have fun. It will take a year or two though.

When the itch is gone you'll feel its gone . You'll know.

Read the updates, original post was quite some time ago

ILoveYourVibes

sReq | uTeK wrote: »

Read the updates, original post was quite some time ago

oops sorry.

Well done OP!

risteard7

A