Post Natal Depression/Anxiety

cnoc

Would some Mums who have gone through the above, please offer some advice. My daughter had her first baby 4.5 weeks ago and after the second week she got very down in herself. She makes out she is doing everything wrong for the baby. She cries for no reason at all. My wife and I visit her daily and when we are leaving she cries. She is afraid of being alone in the house. Her husband works very irregular hours. She has attended a nurse in the Health Centre and was prescribed some tablets (unfortunately I do not know the names). One lot of them was a tranquilizer/sedative type of tablet.Any advice would be very much appreciated. TIA.

Lolococo

I am not a medical professional and can only speak on my own experience. After I had my first child I cried solid for two weeks for no reason. Well it could have been a mix of hormones and no sleep. I dont know how i got through it but I did.

There is a big build up to the birth on your first child. Everyone talks about the delivery and how you can get through it. To me the biggest shock was bringing baby home. I was so used to doing my own thing going where and when I wanted then suddenly you come to a standstill.

I was also breastfeed which was hard going at the start. It's tough on new mums. All I say is give your daughter support and tell her that she is not the only one the found it tough. People don't say it enough that it the problem.

shesty

Ask her how she is.
It was only when I got to my six week GP appointment, and she asked how i was that i realised nobody had asked me that.
She should have a six week check up for herself and her baby with her GP.It's a standard thing.Tell her she must talk to her doctor about how she feels.If possible maybe your wife could go along and mind the baby while she chats.She may have a prescription but she should still keep telling them how she feels. It's so so hard.I remember being told it takes 3-4 months to make a mum...and it was true.It was only at about 11/12 weeks that I felt normality was returning to my life and I had some degree of control. It is so amazing yet so lonely and so hard.Tell her not to be afraid to talk about it, to keep talking about it and to tell you how she feels.Give her all the support you can.

cnoc

Thank you for the above replies. My wife and I visit every day, and stay late at night until her husband arrives home. My wife has stayed over a couple of nights and fed the baby her 2 feeds etc. during the night. I do not have much time to be online, so again thanks.

catrionanic

You sound like really supportive parents. Congratulations on becoming grandparents. Unfortunately I don't have anything to add that the previous posters have said, but wanted to say that it sounds like you are being a great support to her at a difficult time.

shesty

Definitely, just keep doing what you are doing.It's hard now, but hopefully it will get easier for her.

GalwayGrrrrrl

Sorry to hear your daughter is going through this. She should speak to her public health nurse about how she is feeling and go back to her GP if she needs to. The charity Aware are also a good support for people with depression , including post natal depression. If you happen to live near Galway, Aware run a special support group for mums with PND. Local breastfeeding support groups are also a handy resource to share experiences.
It's great that you and your wife are helping so much. Just be sure you are not taking over too much though. The new mum needs time and space to get her confidence up with the new baby. Your help, while obviously well intentioned, may be slowing down that process.

cnoc

xfactorfan23 wrote: »

Sorry to hear your daughter is going through this. She should speak to her public health nurse about how she is feeling and go back to her GP if she needs to. The charity Aware are also a good support for people with depression , including post natal depression. If you happen to live near Galway, Aware run a special support group for mums with PND. Local breastfeeding support groups are also a handy resource to share experiences.
It's great that you and your wife are helping so much. Just be sure you are not taking over too much though. The new mum needs time and space to get her confidence up with the new baby. Your help, while obviously well intentioned, may be slowing down that process.

I understand what you are saying, but I don't think my wife is dominating. She (my wife) says to my daughter that the baby is looking at her Mum. And if my wife is taking a long time to wind her, she hands her over to her Mum and says you're the expert, and that baby knows its her Mum winding her. Thank you for your reply.

SettlePettal

Tell her what she is feeling is temporary. That got me through. I was worried i would never feel like myself again. My partner works abroad and after one week i was alone. I cried for a long time and was terrified when my mother left each night.
It is the hardest thing i have ever done and while in the middle of it i felt so alone. The best thing for me was to help me feel like i was "getting the hang of it" and help me to see i was doing a good job. I would say you should just keep being there for your daughter and reminding her that help is at the other end of the phone.
Tell her to talk to her health nurse, mine was lovely poor woman had me crying on her shoulder but was a comfort to have a health professional tell me lots of women feel like this too.

s4uv3

I can't recommend the charity Nurture enough. They'd be well worth a call by your daughter, they helped me out bigtime.

www.nurturecharity.org