Baby Won't Eat Much For Me!!

Dad11

My 11 month old daughter has always been a slow eater. She loves her bottles and we made the decision to bottle feed her from birth. She generally sleeps well. However whenever I feed her it's a struggle. When my wife feeds her my wife sings songs and my wife regularly reports that she ate like a horse and she doing well. I observe my wife and tries to mimic my wife's singing( I a bad singer by the way) that does not work. I am at my wits end. Any ideas suggestions? I have tried dancing and jumping, singing different songs but my daughter in high chair so options limited.

Foweva Awone

Look up "baby led weaning"

Remember that "food before one is fun"
i.e. the milk is the main source of nutrition; weaning is only about exploring different textures and flavours. If she doesn't eat - grand! Don't make a fuss of it. Don't force anything.

vicwatson

When you feed her try the nice things like mashed up pear, stewed apple or crushed banana she may just come to love you feeding her, then go with the hard stuff intermittently such as the greens etc

Good luck

pwurple

Chill.

People get into all sorts of knots about food and children pick up stress and pleading better than you know. I was often asked, "is she a good eater" by people, and I really think it harks back to children being weak, or sickly infants. It simply is not the case any more.

Let them eat or not eat according to their own appetite. If she is not hungry, don't force it. Accept refusal.

And the singing thing, i'd drop that too. Sounds like the baby equivalent of a TV dinner. Distract them to shove more in.

My own experience... I have two kids, and the eldest has a good awareness of when she is full or not full... refuses dessert if she has had enough dinner. Rarely clears a plate, but tries everything generally. The younger had reflux, and as a baby was constantly looking for food, I think because of the turmoil in her tummy. It seems to soothe her belly to have it full all the time. She has no concept whatsoever of appetite and will eat enough to make herself vomit given the chance. Eats everything on the plate, WAY too much of it. My parents are delighted at what a "good eater" she is. I just hope at some stage some refusal starts!

shesty

What pwurple said.Take it on board :-)

Of my pair, I sat on my hands a lot with my older!Bit my tongue if she didn't finish something.She knows when she's full, she's quite good that way, and I went with her.I didn't want to teach her to override that switch!!Also both of mine went through a fussy phase between 11-14 months but they get over it.They will never starve themselves, remember that.At this age, particularly with my youngest, i let them eat with their hands as much as possible.Both of mine demanded their own spoon at 12 months, and I went with that.It's bloody messy, but l let them, and in between, I spooned in the food where possible.My youngest is now 16 months and I give her her bowl and spoon and she fires away.I do help, but she can manage well by herself.The same child has a voracious appetite and will eat pretty much anything.Much like Pwurples secind, I don't know if she knows where the off switch is!!I didn't do anything to cause that, she just came that way!No.1 was bottle fed mostly, no.2 was breastfed til about 8 weeks, then bottle fed.You can't force them to eat, you might be able to when they are 11months but very quickly that stops.And the more you try to get it in,the more they will hold out on you!!They realise quickly that they have power when it comes to food.
So next time you are feeding why dont you give the baby a spoon, and maybe a bit in a bowl for herself, and you spoon bits in where possible from another bowl, instead of doing an all-singing, all-dancing show for her?!Take the fuss and pressure out of it and she should respond to your lead.It mightn't be what your wife does, but that's ok.

scarepanda

Seriously, take the advice of the above posters... Relax :-)! I know you want the same experience as your wife by being able to feed her, but you need to do what works for you and your lo!

Is she spoon fed or on finger food? We've never got too stressed about our lo and how much she was eating. Since about 8 months old she's been feeding herself lunch and dinner for the most part with finger food and I just let her at it. She gets porridge for breakfast so I do feed her that at the moment. But Iv started to feed her may be 3/4 of the bowl and then hand it over to her. Sometimes she gets the coordination right, more times she doesn't yet. But I like the idea of giving her the independence of learning how to feed herself. Maybe, if your wife spoon feeds your lo you could lead the way with finger food? And then that could be your 'thing' with her. It's seriously amazing to give them a piece of food and see them figure out how to eat it at the start and then see them munch away no bother themselves after a few weeks. For us at least the independent eating is more rewarding (and kind of sad) for us as we can see just how big she's getting!

Dad11

Cheers folks. She is much better now we all relaxed and she loves the mashed fruit!!

scarepanda wrote: »

Seriously, take the advice of the above posters... Relax :-)! I know you want the same experience as your wife by being able to feed her, but you need to do what works for you and your lo!

Is she spoon fed or on finger food? We've never got too stressed about our lo and how much she was eating. Since about 8 months old she's been feeding herself lunch and dinner for the most part with finger food and I just let her at it. She gets porridge for breakfast so I do feed her that at the moment. But Iv started to feed her may be 3/4 of the bowl and then hand it over to her. Sometimes she gets the coordination right, more times she doesn't yet. But I like the idea of giving her the independence of learning how to feed herself. Maybe, if your wife spoon feeds your lo you could lead the way with finger food? And then that could be your 'thing' with her. It's seriously amazing to give them a piece of food and see them figure out how to eat it at the start and then see them munch away no bother themselves after a few weeks. For us at least the independent eating is more rewarding (and kind of sad) for us as we can see just how big she's getting!

tevey08

HI OP,

We have the same problem with our son. We find when he's distracted he eats away. So we normally put him in his highchair and put nursery rhymes videos from youtube on our phone and he seems to watch that and eats most of his dinner.

pwurple

tevey08 wrote: »

HI OP,

We have the same problem with our son. We find when he's distracted he eats away. So we normally put him in his highchair and put nursery rhymes videos from youtube on our phone and he seems to watch that and eats most of his dinner.

Hmm. I don't know if this is a great idea. There is much more to dinner time than just getting the food into them as fast as possible. Think of all the learning they are doing with textures, tastes, learning dexterity with their fingers by playing with it. And you talking to them, telling them the words for food, teaching them language and how to behave at a family dinner time.

Think of the adult equivalent. People who eat in front of TVs tend to be overweight also. https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/distracted-eating-may-add-to-weight-gain-201303296037

I know it takes longer, is more messy and they eat less. But surely it is better for them than putting on videos and deliberately distracting them.

Halladubha72

I can feel your stress and my sister went through hell with her first born little girl. She's 17 now and we often talk about it and realise now that mammy was so stressed the child could feed off it and wouldn't eat but would for everyone else. In the end she used to put on a movie that she loved and feed her while she was engrossed in the movie and after a while it all dissappeared. Kids feel your stress and that your all worked up and tense. So, it's a massive thing to you now but in our kids lives they go through 1,000s of phases and this is just one of those phases that will pass, she's not going to be like this forever, trust me, when the next phase hits you'll be looking back saying why was I so worked up over that. AND your a great dad that obviously cares so stop doubting yrself.