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Ex, maintainance , joint mortgage

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Comments

  • #52
    dev100
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,002 ✭✭✭dev100


    XsApollo wrote:
    An option is if he is saying the mortgage is basically his maintenance , You could go to the bank and see about getting the mortgage payments reduced until you get back in the workforce.

    XsApollo wrote:
    If you got it reduced to interest only or cut the payment in half for a year or 2 you would have the extra cash in your pocket.

    That would need to be agreed by both parties . But there's financial implications by doing that.

    Cinderbabe17 wrote:
    He earns aprox €750-800 a week before tax.

    It's really what he earns as net pay is what you need to look at. Roughly calculating it to be about 600 per week. I may be wrong on this it could even be less. So if we take out 200 per 4 wk month. It means he earns 400 Euro into his hip pocket . It's a crude estimate !!!! If he commutes to work and has a car etc all those costs have to be factored in. You may not like it but he will have look after his next child too so that's another out going that will crop up . It doesn't add up that he can go out and go on 4 holidays etc. He may be also be contributing for his stay at his mothers.

    Cinderbabe17 wrote:
    What do i need to do to seek proper maintainance.... as in i know he has to pay his half of the mortgage but do i need to get a court order for that and also one for maintainance or would it all be done in the one order? And secondly is it even worth my while trying to get more money? Or should i just apply for half of additional costs?

    Every situation is different and it has become a male vers female here on boards and you will have family members give their version of the law etc and it'll screw him etc it doesn't always work out the way you think it should . Some relatives of mine have been thru it and it's a mine field. My uncle admitted the quickest way to get rid of money is with barristers and solicitors it's like burning money and he was the wronged party if we bring morals into it and there's no winners ... if you go down the route of solicitors and barristers you may quality for free legal aid but he may not and everytime both of Ye end up in court it'll be less money for your kids.

    You need to take pride and emotion out of it just look at what needs to be done for your kids . You are hurt and rightly so it can't be easy dealing with it all. If all else fails Your kids are the priority for both you and him . He isn't on a super wage and if his living arrangements or work situation changes then that will have an affect on you and the kids financially. You need to be capable of paying the mortgage on your own steam .

    You should look at some sort of mediation where both of you sit down and work out how to best look after the welfare of the kids.


    Going forward you need to become assertive and don't be the victim . You need to be financially independent from him that will involve getting back into the work place and also use family his and yours to help out with kids etc he really should be helping you equally with this !!! He can do more and remind him he has responsibilities.

    I hope it all works out for everyone .


  • #53
    Peanut2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭Peanut2011


    Cinderbabe17 wrote: »
    After all i have them 24 hours a day bar when he takes them for a few hours once every 3 weeks or so.

    I do not want to sell up as my kids have already gone through enough upheaval. They are settled here , school is across the road, their friends are here. This is their home. Why should they have to go through more upset. And believe me it hit them bad.

    Look i know nobody likes people on social welfare and i feel i am being attacked here because of that

    OP, i really do feel for your situation and it is something I really hope many people never experience.

    You may be getting a bit more negative comments towards you because of the way you are attacking your ex and what he earns.

    However the real issue here is your kids and the roof over their head. I strongly urge you to get something legally done so even if you end up getting smaller payment then what he currently gives you it will be certain you get it.

    We all fall on hard times and being home maker for 7 years and facing this will be difficult.

    I certainly can see how at some point you would want to give up but fair play to you to keep fighting for your kids.

    I am also with you when you say that your kids have been through enough and I would also say that you and your ex need to put your animosities for each other aside and work out something for the kids.

    Keep going, it will get easier.


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