Neighbour concerned over a raised patio

_Whimsical_

Cuddlesworth wrote: »

You won't. Each time you bow down and take the unreasonable complaint, the next one will roll in quickly. Elderly people are the worst, they have nothing to do and tend to focus on stupid things to complain about.

Wow quite frankly that's a disgraceful comment. I'm not an elderly person or even a home owner but dismissing people just on the basis of age is ridiculous and unfair. I'm shocked so many people have liked that. We don't know what impact it is had on their property or what their exact privacy concern is. If the OP is now overlooking a patio door or can see into their home from the patio I could understand them having reservations.


The trellis idea seems to be the best, it shouldn't obliterate anyone's light and will give you both some privacy. Make sure you agree upon putting it up though as others have said a boundary exceeding 2m needs to be agreed upon.

Full Marx

I'd just ignore them OP

Cuddlesworth

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Wow quite frankly that's a disgraceful comment. I'm not an elderly person or even a home owner but dismissing people just on the basis of age is ridiculous and unfair.

The liked it because they have encountered the same types of people.

Meeoow

If the sea view is the far side of your garden, and you are raising the patio, then surely you will be looking into the neighbours garden and across all the gardens?
I built a wall between neighbours and it is slightly lower than back wall and I can sometimes see their heads or kids on swings and I wish I'd built it up another block for privacy.
I can understand your neighbours frustration.

OldMrBrennan83

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Blazer

Lumen wrote: »

This is how long running disputes start. A troublesome and determined neighbour can make your life hell.

You can always become more aggressive / assertive later. It's very difficult to wind things back once they escalate.

Everyone thinks they are themselves reasonable, because we are hard wired to value our own opinions highly.

they're elderly so more than likely they'll die before the Op does..it will be a happy day for you

_Whimsical_

Patww79 wrote: »

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On what basis?
They can't legally demand the structure be removed but they could reasonably expect a compromise acceptable to both parties like a trellis. We don't know it's an unreasonable reaction or the degree to which their privacy is affected.

Where I used to live neighbours built a patio in the space right next to boundary wall and propped a BBQ against it. The result was every single summer evening their family and friends were gathered 18 inches from my patio door to cook and stand around eating. Every time we crossed the room to go to the bathroom or kitchen there'd be someone from outside waving to you or beckoning you out for small talk. There were elderly and often had visitors and BBQ'ed breakfast there too. I now would have massive sympathy for anyone whose privacy inside their home is compromised by neighbours.
A fence was built on our side eventually and they stopped talking to us.

OldMrBrennan83

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Cyrus

Meeoow wrote: »

If the sea view is the far side of your garden, and you are raising the patio, then surely you will be looking into the neighbours garden and across all the gardens?
I built a wall between neighbours and it is slightly lower than back wall and I can sometimes see their heads or kids on swings and I wish I'd built it up another block for privacy.
I can understand your neighbours frustration.

as i said before, when sitting on a chair on the patio i am no higher up than when i am standing in that section of the garden. i dont intend on standing around up there

the fences between the houses arent massively high, maybe 6ft 3" or so tall with a foot of that trellis at the top included in that so we can both see into each others gardens through the trellis if we wanted.

the patio wont change that

Cyrus

_Whimsical_ wrote: »

Where I used to live neighbours built a patio in the space right next to boundary wall and propped a BBQ against it. The result was every single summer evening their family and friends were gathered 18 inches from my patio door to cook and stand around eating. Every time we crossed the room to go to the bathroom or kitchen there'd be someone from outside waving to you or beckoning you out for small talk. There were elderly and often had visitors and BBQ'ed breakfast there too. I now would have massive sympathy for anyone whose privacy inside their home is compromised by neighbours.
A fence was built on our side eventually and they stopped talking to us.

that would annoy me too, but where we built is as far away from the boundary fence as it could possibly be

ford2600

OP I have acted in a professional capacity in quite a few equity matters.

They have a few things in common
*they all start small like this
*they escalate at varying rates but relations never improve after escalation
*when they do end in court the solution is usually the judge asking if the parties can reach a compromise, so both parties pay for a collection of suits to solve a usually really trivial matter

I'm not an advocate of making friends with neighbours but I'm an advocate of not making enemies either.

The best advice you got was from Lumen.

About 2 years ago my next door neighbour, complained about smoke from my chimney and asked could I not light fire; it was in January.
We had good relations, so I said I'd see if there was anything I could do. I fitted some useless cowl, and told her a got a special low smoke wood (pure bollix) and dropped her in a few bags.

TLDR; keep it civil, keep smiling and bluff away!

El Tarangu

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I don't know - some people enjoy saying hello to their neighbours.

Although I agree with the OP's position, I don't think that your scorched earth policy of neighbourly relations is necessarily the best way to go about it.

Lumen

I think the best evidence for the importance of neighbourly relations is the incredible price differences of areas that have antisocial behaviour problems compared to those that are "settled" or "established".

If we didn't care about our neighbours, why would people go batsht crazy about social housing or travellers?

edit: for the sake of clarity/virtue signalling I have no problem with either and am not trying to drag this off-topic, it's a rhetorical question

beertons

I'd say they're just lonely/bored and wanted to be listened to.