Bizarre Airplane or Airport behaviour

Porklife

Last night I got back from a trip to Berlin and was sitting in the aisle seat beside a couple. The guy had a book with him and spent the entire journey reading it to the girl. Usually this wouldn't bother me as I'd be listening to music but my phone wasn't working (I spilled beer on it) so just had to sit there listening to him play the part of a narrator. It was very irritating and just a bit odd I found.

Prior to boarding the plane two other strange things happened. There was a stand where you could charge your phone for free and it was beside a massage chair. Some guy was sitting in the massage chair charging his phone. Another guy came over and asked him to get up as he wanted to use the chair but the first guy refused and a fight broke out. The guy who was sitting on the chair wasn't actually using it for it's purpose, he was just waiting for his phone to charge. Airport police ended up coming over and making him get up.

Then, as we were all waiting in the Ryanair sweatbox to board the plane, some guy asked the girl checking the tickets if he could go back out to use the toilet and she said no. He started screaming at her that he'd p*ss himself if she didn't let him out and how it was inhumane. She also ended up calling airport Police to come and deal with it.

Any of you guys witnessed weird or wonderful airplane behaviour?

I'm a big fan of this guy and totally agree with him about airplane armrest etiquette. Sorry, I don't know how to post a link properly evidently!:pac:

Jim Jefferies Airplane Etiquette - YouTube

Academic

Porklife wrote: »

Last night I got back from a trip to Berlin and was sitting in the aisle seat beside a couple. The guy had a book with him and spent the entire journey reading it to the girl. Usually this wouldn't bother me as I'd be listening to music but my phone wasn't working (I spilled beer on it) so just had to sit there listening to him play the part of a narrator. It was very irritating and just a bit odd I found. [...]

I see no difference between this and simply talking through the entire flight, which people certainly have the right to do.

Regarding the other other behaviours you cite, I think we all know that flying has become so unpleasant that it brings out the worst in all of us. That includes the tendency to be angered by what is, in fact, perfectly normal behaviour on the part of others.

retro:electro

Maybe she couldn't read and he was reading it to her? Sounds kinda sweet.

Stone Deaf 4evr

Not so much bizarre, but certainly very memorable,

was on the tarmac at schipol airport waiting to go home after an extreme stag weekend with the lads. we were all checked in and buckled up, but the cabin crew were still standing at the door, looking up the jetwalk or whatever its called.

about 15 minutes pass, and then we noticed the cabin crew were cracking up laughing, next thing two lads who looked like tom from craggy island came in the door, looking decidedly worse for wear. The plane was pretty full so they stumbled their way up the aisle to their seats with the whole plane giggling at them. There was no fear or panic, just a plane load of people who'd probably had a mad weekend as well, laughing at the expense of two guys who overindulged a bit.

Your Face

Jaysus, that Jim Jefferies is obnoxious.

OnDraught

Academic wrote: »

I see no difference between this and simply talking through the entire flight, which people certainly have the right to do.

Planes should be divided up with a section for people that want to sit in peace and not have to listen to other people's nonsense/kids. I'd pay extra for this.

biko

anna080 wrote: »

Maybe she couldn't read and he was reading it to her? Sounds kinda sweet.

I thought so too. Or maybe she is blind or something.

RobertKK

No, but yesterday I had to take a connecting flight, there was not a lot of time between the plane landing and my next flight, I ended up having to go through security with 20 minutes to take off and everyone in front of me were acting as if they never had went through security, which I am sure they had.
I ended up looking like the weird person with my hand luggage running through the terminal to get to my gate in time, was near the very last person, but would not have made it on time if I had walked.
People were probably thinking 'he should have arrived earlier, silly idiot'.

Spanish Eyes

OnDraught wrote: »

Planes should be divided up with a section for people that want to sit in peace and not have to listen to other people's nonsense/kids. I'd pay extra for this.

Bose noise cancelling headphones and an eye mask for you. Good investment.:D

HalloweenJack

People who clap when the plane lands. Seems to be mostly an Irish/UK thing.

RobertKK

HalloweenJack wrote: »

People who clap when the plane lands. Seems to be mostly an Irish/UK thing.

I was never on a flight where that happened. Though have heard of it.

Fratton Fred

I've seen all sorts, but the worst is usually alcohol related.

The most annoying was the group of women (complete with kids) off to Majorca for their holliers who, despite being told numerous times, tried drinking their duty free on the plane and proceeded to argue with cabin crew. iirc, one of them had Spanish police waiting to greet her on landing. Whilst they argued constantly with cabing crew, no one else got served from the drinks trolly and their kids ran up and down the aisles.

Then there were the three ladies ( a mother and two daughters) who were returning to London after visiting a funeral in Ireland. All three were leglesss and the mother mover across the aisle to pass out in a row on her own. The two sisters then proceeded to get in to a heated argument about who would drive when they got back. Apparently it made sense for the younger of the two to drive, because she didn't have a licence and therefore couldn't lose it if they were stopped by the poliss.

Lastly and most annoying, were the three lads who got on the relatively empty plane legless and before we could take off, the youngest managed to throw up all over himself. This then prompted a return to the gate, his removal from the plane and a lengthy delay whilst their bags were taken out of the hold.

The most bizarre though, by a country mile, was sitting behind Jedward on a flight from LHR. I'm not sure why it was bizarre, but it was for some reason.

HalloweenJack

RobertKK wrote: »

I was never on a flight where that happened. Though have heard of it.

Happens on pretty much every short-haul flight I'm on that involves Ireland or the UK as at least one of the airports, more so in the last ten years.

Hardly ever happens (and if it does, it's one or two people, whereas on the flights with Irish or UK citizens it's a lot more people) on flights between non-Irish/UK airports.

diomed

Baby on my seat.
The mother said she needed the seat for her baby.

Lorelli!

On holiday with my oh a few years ago and there were these two women in their mid forties or so staying in the same apartment complex. They were like something from the 80s gone wrong. I'd chat to them at the pool the odd time. Sometimes they were funny and not the worst but mostly annoying.

One of them went on a bender for about 2 days before the flight home and was locked at the airport. She got into some argument with the staff and held up the plane for ages. I was looking out the window of the plane and you could just see her being escorted on, still in her going out outfit from the night before including her cowboy hat and high heels. When she got on, she was like "hiyas"! There was an angry sigh from the passengers. Honestly, just looking at her would have given you a hangover!

ohnonotgmail

Fratton Fred wrote: »

I've seen all sorts, but the worst is usually alcohol related.

The most annoying was the group of women (complete with kids) off to Majorca for their holliers who, despite being told numerous times, tried drinking their duty free on the plane and proceeded to argue with cabin crew. iirc, one of them had Spanish police waiting to greet her on landing. Whilst they argued constantly with cabing crew, no one else got served from the drinks trolly and their kids ran up and down the aisles.

Then there were the three ladies ( a mother and two daughters) who were returning to London after visiting a funeral in Ireland. All three were leglesss and the mother mover across the aisle to pass out in a row on her own. The two sisters then proceeded to get in to a heated argument about who would drive when they got back. Apparently it made sense for the younger of the two to drive, because she didn't have a licence and therefore couldn't lose it if they were stopped by the poliss.

Lastly and most annoying, were the three lads who got on the relatively empty plane legless and before we could take off, the youngest managed to throw up all over himself. This then prompted a return to the gate, his removal from the plane and a lengthy delay whilst their bags were taken out of the hold.

The most bizarre though, by a country mile, was sitting behind Jedward on a flight from LHR. I'm not sure why it was bizarre, but it was for some reason.

you have to admit there is a certain logic to that

gifted

diomed wrote: »

Baby on my seat.
The mother said she needed the seat for her baby.

Can she do that?

Chips Lovell

No. Plus the baby has to sit on your lap.

diomed

gifted wrote: »

Can she do that?

She thought yes. The cabin crew said no.

Fratton Fred

diomed wrote: »

She thought yes. The cabin crew said no.

what always amazes me is the people who argue with Cabin crew or security.

You will never win, so don't even bother trying. Your civil rights get left at the entrance to the airport, if you don't like it, don't fly.

Del2005

Fratton Fred wrote: »

what always amazes me is the people who argue with Cabin crew or security.

You will never win, so don't even bother trying. Your civil rights get left at the entrance to the airport, if you don't like it, don't fly.

Unless you are sitting in a seat you have been assigned before being dragged off the over booked flight.

Birneybau

Fratton Fred wrote: »

I've seen all sorts, but the worst is usually alcohol related.

The most annoying was the group of women (complete with kids) off to Majorca for their holliers who, despite being told numerous times, tried drinking their duty free on the plane and proceeded to argue with cabin crew. iirc, one of them had Spanish police waiting to greet her on landing. Whilst they argued constantly with cabing crew, no one else got served from the drinks trolly and their kids ran up and down the aisles.

Then there were the three ladies ( a mother and two daughters) who were returning to London after visiting a funeral in Ireland. All three were leglesss and the mother mover across the aisle to pass out in a row on her own. The two sisters then proceeded to get in to a heated argument about who would drive when they got back. Apparently it made sense for the younger of the two to drive, because she didn't have a licence and therefore couldn't lose it if they were stopped by the poliss.

Lastly and most annoying, were the three lads who got on the relatively empty plane legless and before we could take off, the youngest managed to throw up all over himself. This then prompted a return to the gate, his removal from the plane and a lengthy delay whilst their bags were taken out of the hold.

The most bizarre though, by a country mile, was sitting behind Jedward on a flight from LHR. I'm not sure why it was bizarre, but it was for some reason.

We have a winner!

CalamariFritti

Your Face wrote: »

Jaysus, that Jim Jefferies is obnoxious.

I never heard of him until today, and yes he is obnoxious. But he's a funny obnoxious.

Jim jeffries is funny in small doses imo. Had me laughing away at a show i saw on tv or Netflix. I don't think i could actually sit through a live shiw though

philstar

Fratton Fred wrote: »

The two sisters then proceeded to get in to a heated argument about who would drive when they got back. Apparently it made sense for the younger of the two to drive, because she didn't have a licence and therefore couldn't lose it if they were stopped by the poliss.

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

you have to admit there is a certain logic to that

an irish logic :pac:

(i presume they were irish?)

con___manx1

I was coming back from amsterdam a few weeks ago and ended up being late for my flight due to long unexpected ques at security.
i ended up having to run to the gate.there was another guy just ahead of me who was also obviously late.
he took a really bad fall down the stairs that lead to our gate. somehow he got up and hobbled onto the plane.

kravmaga

HalloweenJack wrote: »

People who clap when the plane lands. Seems to be mostly an Irish/UK thing.

That's mainly from the ah jaysus howya brigade , haha

branie2

Not really bizarre but fun. When we were coming home from Lourdes at Easter wit the HCPT/IHCPT, the groups on the Shannon flight were singing Rise and Shine, and dancing the actions.

barneygumble99

Came back from Greece a few weeks ago and a couple, late 20's, maybe early 30's were sitting in aisle seats opposite each other. Spent the entire 3.5 hours kissing and whispering into each other's ears and moving in an out every 20 seconds when someone needed to pass by. I thought to myself what a sad pair of twats. Thank god i was 3 rows back or I'd have punched them if I'd been closer.

Fratton Fred

philstar wrote: »

an irish logic :pac:

(i presume they were irish?)

From England but visiting an Irish relatives funeral. the sort of relative that usually has wheels on their houses;)

tayto lover

What I noticed is that as soon as the plane takes off everyone wants to pee.
Why couldn't they go before boarding the plane?

lazybones32

Never witnessed any strange behaviour but my last flight, got stuck between some fat yoke one my left and a chick with big boobs on my right.
Fatty was radiating heat - i kid you not. We hit some turbulance early on and there was serious jiggling either side of me. Was so tempted to just stare.

ArnoldJRimmer

Was on a long haul flight to Thailand via Abu Dhabi many years ago where increasingly bizarre things started to happen. Firstly, some woman sitting nearby became absolutely hysterical when a guy sat down beside her. My female friend helped to calm her down and turns out she had been the recent victim of an assault and this poor fella brought back memories of it. After talking to staff, he agreed to move seats and allow a woman sit beside her

Next, a guy on the other side (was in middle aisle) had a meltdown when the person in front of him put his seat back. Started shaking the headrest and shouting until staff managed to calm him down too. Same guy, when he was finished his meal, grabbed his tray of rubbish and just plonked it down on top of my mates tray, who was sitting opposite. Don't think I've ever seen a more ignorant person in my life

And to top it all off, noticed that the late great Frank Carson was sitting a few rows ahead of me

Wanderer2010

People who stand up the SECOND the plane stops after taxiing to their gate, and look all impatient and muttering whilst looking at their watches, as if they should IMMEDIATELY be able to depart. Jesus, you aren't going anywhere for a few mins, what's the bloody point in standing up right away...

bear1

HalloweenJack wrote: »

People who clap when the plane lands. Seems to be mostly an Irish/UK thing.

You've never been on a flight heading to or from Poland.

odyssey06

tayto lover wrote: »

What I noticed is that as soon as the plane takes off everyone wants to pee.
Why couldn't they go before boarding the plane?

Could it be a cabin pressure thing?

bear1

Oh and the most bizarre thing was a passenger who stripped naked and began masturbating on a flight from bergamo to charleroi.
Flight was full and they had to move women sitting next to him to the jump seats.
Security waiting for him when we landed.

Deadly serious.

tayto lover

odyssey06 wrote: »

Could it be a cabin pressure thing?

It could be anything. I don't suffer from it anyway so it clearly doesn't effect everyone.
It is very annoying.

Avatar MIA

ArnoldJRimmer wrote: »

And to top it all off, noticed that the late great Frank Carson was sitting a few rows ahead of me

Jesus, you should have lead with that. Someone had brought the body of Frank Carson on board, now that's weird! Or is it the Way You Tell 'Em?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Fratton Fred wrote: »

what always amazes me is the people who argue with Cabin crew.

They are not a law onto themselves. Don't think you can't challenge their decisions on certain things. Like thumping the **** out of your camera bag because they need to make space for another bag/jacket/whatever.

The most bizarre thing I have witnessed is two supersized american's, in Frankfurt, giving the cashier **** about the food, and the cashier saying something like "yea, well I don't care, this isn't America... NEXT!"

My flights are quite boring

amber2

Was in a queue boarding a flight to Poland when a guy runs up the priority boarding queue, guy in regular queue sticks his hand out to stop priority boarding Queue guy, who gives regular queue guy a box into the face sending regular queue guys front teeth into the next isle.... thought there was gonna be trouble & was waiting for someone to be hauled off the flight but we all went on our merry way, some minus their front teeth.

HalloweenJack

HalloweenJack wrote: »

People who clap when the plane lands. Seems to be mostly an Irish/UK thing.

What do they do if it crashes? Boo!

tea and coffee

OnDraught wrote: »

Planes should be divided up with a section for people that want to sit in peace and not have to listen to other people's nonsense/kids. I'd pay extra for this.

They have done. It's called Business class

NickNickleby

In the last few years I have only once encountered the clapping at touchdown phenomenon. And I was one of them...

Stobart Air flight from Bristol. Just before Christmas, bad weather. Boarding delayed by over an hour with no explanation. Finally get on board, pilot explains that these little planes cannot land in winds of over xxKPH. (can't remember the number). but the weather at Dublin has settled now, so we're just preparing to take off. Then nothing. THen obviously the same wind has crossed the Irish sea, and we sit in the plane with it rocking back and forth but not attempting to take off. After about 40 minutes, the pilot apologises and says "great - we're off". So away we go. About 50 minutes later I notice that the sun appears through my window first, then through the one opposite, then back etc etc. So I figure we're circling. 20 minutes later we drop out of the sky , the plane is buffeting from side to side, up and down. EVERYONE is assuming crash landing position - although it wasn't announced. At the last second he drops us onto the runway with a bang, presumably to avoid the plane flipping or whatever. when we knew all the wheels were on the ground and could feel the brakes on, everyone on that plane clapped the pilot's skill. And I was very happy to join in.

Actually, I remember experiencing the clapping on transatlantic flights, but always assumed it was the Americans clapping. So that previous sentence was the only part of my post that is relevant to the topic:o

XsApollo

Not strange and I don't fly much.
But coming back from Dominican Republic with Air France to Paris, there was some I presume Russian chick on her own was good looking too , sitting in the chair beside me across the isle that got bladdered while we were flying.

Proceeded to start sitting on fellas laps and rubbing them and trying to chat them up.
Lots of couples and honeymooners on the flight myself included.

Wandering Up and down the isle saw her stop a few fellas going to the toilets and start rubbing their balls through their pants and gesturing to the jacks.
Cabin crew asked her a few times to sit down and she would get thick and then continue on.
This was going on for a few hours.
Her chatting to everybody and opening the buttons on her shirt, getting the cleavage out,
She sat back in her chair and started chatting to me in her language I was just nodding and she got thick for some reason and slapped me across the face and then proceeded to Sit on my lap and apologise , push her boobs on my face.

Anyway my wife got rid of her.
Plane landed guards came on escorted her off,
Saw her an hour or 2 later in cuffs getting escorted through the airport.

ArnoldJRimmer

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Jesus, you should have lead with that. Someone had brought the body of Frank Carson on board, now that's weird! Or is it the Way You Tell 'Em?

Agreed, the story would have been way better if it was like a Weekend at Bernie's scenario with Frank

Sultan of Bling

bear1 wrote:

Oh and the most bizarre thing was a passenger who stripped naked and began masturbating on a flight from bergamo to charleroi. Flight was full and they had to move women sitting next to him to the jump seats.

Was that the DJ from Cork?

Academic

XsApollo wrote: »

Not strange and I don't fly much.
But coming back from Dominican Republic with Air France to Paris, there was some I presume Russian chick on her own was good looking too , sitting in the chair beside me across the isle that got bladdered while we were flying.

Proceeded to start sitting on fellas laps and rubbing them and trying to chat them up.
Lots of couples and honeymooners on the flight myself included.

Wandering Up and down the isle saw her stop a few fellas going to the toilets and start rubbing their balls through their pants and gesturing to the jacks.
Cabin crew asked her a few times to sit down and she would get thick and then continue on.
This was going on for a few hours.
Her chatting to everybody and opening the buttons on her shirt, getting the cleavage out,
She sat back in her chair and started chatting to me in her language I was just nodding and she got thick for some reason and slapped me across the face and then proceeded to Sit on my lap and apologise , push her boobs on my face.

Anyway my wife got rid of her.
Plane landed guards came on escorted her off,
Saw her an hour or 2 later in cuffs getting escorted through the airport.

If you don't regard that as strange, what would count as strange?

DeanAustin

Was in Chicago last year waiting for a flight that was delayed and it eventually arrived at the gate. Took ages for people to get off but eventually they did as the coffin dodgers stumbled off last.

Then comes the announcement to a packed and impatient gate. "Sorry for the delay ladies and gentlemen. We'll be another 15-20 minutes as we have to clean up one of the seats."

You could see people, me included, laughing wondering what the f**k had happened to the seat. Then, almost in unison, you could see the smiles turning to worry as we all thought "F**k, I hope it's not my seat".

odyssey06

XsApollo wrote: »

Her chatting to everybody and opening the buttons on her shirt, getting the cleavage out,
She sat back in her chair and started chatting to me in her language I was just nodding and she got thick for some reason and slapped me across the face and then proceeded to Sit on my lap and apologise , push her boobs on my face. Anyway my wife got rid of her...

What rotten luck... that this didn't happen to you when you were single.

YFlyer

biko wrote: »

I thought so too. Or maybe she is blind or something.

Even Helen Keller had to get someone to read for her.