Chapter 2 - Finding Nemo

skyblue46

Swashbuckler wrote: »

I already have desperate marathon jealousy..haha

HBS is right.....you'll be bitten by the bug to try it even just once to experience the atmosphere. :P

Swashbuckler

mister paul wrote:

10 mile route mapped out and ready to go, starting at home and finishing in McGrattans

I saved the spots I want to hit into the Google maps app last night. God knows I'll get lost if I don't have that to direct me.

Swashbuckler

skyblue46 wrote:

HBS is right.....you'll be bitten by the bug to try it even just once to experience the atmosphere.

Haha I dunno. We'll see. I'm very goal driven as opposed to experience driven. God I'm starting to sound like a dryballs.

skyblue46

Swashbuckler wrote: »

Haha I dunno. We'll see. I'm very goal driven as opposed to experience driven. God I'm starting to sound like a dryballs.

I'm glad you said it first!

hot buttered scones

Swashbuckler wrote: »

Haha I dunno. We'll see. I'm very goal driven as opposed to experience driven. God I'm starting to sound like a dryballs.

So what happens when the two coincide with each other? I guarantee you'll feel inspired by Sunday.

Swashbuckler

hot buttered scones wrote:

So what happens when the two coincide with each other? I guarantee you'll feel inspired by Sunday.

Haha I'm already inspired. I'm more excited than my buddy who's actually running it.

Swashbuckler

Monday - Easy 7M (7.54) plus 6x 20s strides. Felt great.

Tuesday - 8x2min off 75s on Grass.
I'm enjoying the simplicity of these sessions. Nice to mix it up. Yes, the grass sessions are still tough!
All 8 within the range of 5.43-6.10. All recoveries jogged. Still no need for spikes. Feeling stronger off the back of these grass sessions which include hills, lumps and bumps.

Wednesday - Easy 7M (8.05). Felt good again. Nothing to report.

Thursday AM - Easy 4M (8.23). PM - Easy 7M (8.04). Groggy in the morning. Woke up a bit in the afternoon.

Friday 14x45s Hill Intervals off 90s.
I've decided this is my favorite session. So much bang for your buck in one session. Strength training, speed training, working on form, stride and posture. It's a great session. And tough.... It's very tough. Haha. Tried to lay down a marker on the first couple and managed to pass that point on all 14. Pace splits were roughly 5.20-5.30. Passed 2000 miles for the year!

Saturday - Easy 12M (8.08).
Felt super on this one. As I said on Strava everything clicked this week.

Sunday - Dora the Explorer (8M) trekking around Dublin in support of primarily my buddy but also some club lads and several Boardsies (only two of whom I saw on the route AMK and Ray).

Total mileage for the week was 61.2 so the trekking really bumped me up. Feeling it today though. Running with a backpack ain't easy. Thinking of changing my username to Enduro2.

Just a few comments on my training of late:

I'm consciously trying to run my easy runs "better" as opposed to kinda "plodding".

My nutrition needs more work. Missed lunch twice this week. Not good enough.

HR data these days is junk coz of long sleeves on most runs. Of course I could always wear the watch under my sleeve and do without the display but God forbid I ran without feedback on my pace!

Feeling stronger off the back of the less glamorous but gritty sessions.

Comments on DCM.

Amazing.

One of my most enjoyable days at a race. The trekking was so much fun. Thanks skyblue and Luke for the tips.
It was chaos getting into the city. Madness. Took me four hours from leaving limerick to park up. Missed my first meeting point. To be honest I wouldn't have seen my buddy anyway. Saw Ray and AMK at halfway. The last mile is spectacular. Streets literally thronged. The marathon is a beast. Saw such a range of emotions in that last mile. It's truly special to watch. It didn't make me want to do one though. Haha. My buddy did great. 3.38 and managed the race very well.. Met him in McGrattans after. So happy to meet so many Boardsies. It really does feel like you're meeting family. AMK is shorter in real life. I'm not sure where this 6ft2 myth is coming from. Must've been wearing heels when than measurement was taken. Stunning tan though.

All in all a great day and lots of pints to celebrate with my buddy and the inlaws.

The marathon definitely has got me thinking though. Not necessarily that it's top of my list to do one but a lot of the marathon folks I see are running really solid in the shorter stuff off the back of these blocks. Makes me wonder are they a necessary "evil" if you truly want to progress at the shorter stuff. I guess it's all about the several complex parts of a big jigsaw, one piece being a really strong base of endurance. I dunno. We'll see! Gotta get through this XC block in one piece before thinking about next year.

Well done everyone on DCM. Whether you got the result you wanted or not, you had the balls to do it. It takes guts to run a marathon.

AuldManKing

Swashbuckler wrote: »

AMK is shorter in real life. I'm not sure where this 6ft2 myth is coming from. Must've been wearing heels when than measurement was taken. Stunning tan though.

I thought that was funny - one of the 1st things you said to me - "I thought you'd be taller......."

OOnegative

AuldManKing wrote: »

I thought that was funny - one of the 1st things you said to me - "I thought you'd be taller......."

Sure he was under the impression I had flowing locks of hair to...........

AuldManKing

OOnegative wrote: »

Sure he was under the impression I had flowing locks of hair to...........

That's why he wears glasses.

Swashbuckler

AuldManKing wrote:

I thought that was funny - one of the 1st things you said to me - "I thought you'd be taller......."

The camera definitely adds a few inches on your Strava pics.

Swashbuckler

OOnegative wrote:

Sure he was under the impression I had flowing locks of hair to...........

Your profile pic/avatar is very misleading.

Swashbuckler

Another week another article. This time from McMillian. Nothing revolutionary. Just simple, timely and topical.

Consequences of "Banking Time"
i.e., running faster than goal pace early in the marathon:

1) You burn more of your limited muscle glycogen stores. Lowered glycogen stores have been associated with hitting the wall.


2) You burn blood glucose at a faster rate. This requires more frequent feedings to keep the blood glucose level from “crashing†and thus introduces more gastrointestinal challenges. Low blood glucose has been associated with hitting the wall.

3) You stress the muscle tissues more. Marathoners walk around with severe limps and soreness because the muscle tissues get damaged. Running too fast early introduces more damage sooner and muscle damage has been associated with hitting the wall.

4) Your brain becomes unhappy.  Recent research shows that if the brain feels threatened by your pacing or by the physiological changes in the body, it will send more feelings of fatigue and/or even cut the power to the working muscles. Running too fast, too early can be threatening to the brain, which has been associated with hitting the wall.


The bottom line? Don’t run too fast, too soon in the marathon. Pace yourself properly so you have lots of physical and mental energy over the last few miles. After all, most athletes lose all their time in the final few miles of the race.

Swashbuckler

Came into last week wrecked. Marathon touring around Dublin was great craic as was McGrattans and the shenanigans for the rest of the night but I started the week absolutely shattered from it all. Felt like I'd ran the fecking thing!

Monday - Easy 7M at 8.08 pace in Dublin. Had figured out I could take a right turn out of the hostel and head straight up towards Phoenix Park. Chestefield Ave goes on forever! Feels like they could do the entire marathon on that Avenue alone. Nice run though. Nice to get one in an area where I hear so much about from the other Boardsies. Tired and hungover.

Tuesday - 4x4mins (90s) + 3min Jog + 6x30s Hard (60s). Plan was to run the 4min intervals at race effort. Still not great from the weekend. Besides repeating this over and over again this was the case all week. Tired and leggy. Worked hard on this. 6.02-6.08 pace range for the 4min intervals. Up and down the hills of Mungret grass again. The hard 30s were all between 5.09-5.25 pace. Tough session. Tougher than it should've been.

Wednesday - Easy 7M at 8.00 pace. Probably shouldve slowed this.

Thursday AM - 4M at 8.27 pace.
Thursday PM - 7M at 7.57 pace. Again should've slowed this. I just find with these runs sometimes that you settle into a groove and slowing down feels like more effort than just getting it done. Always at conversational pace. Just very leggy.

Friday - 14x45s Hill Intervals off 90s
Usually my favorite session. Still is but a little harder due to leggy legs. Did the usual trying to lay down a marker on the first. Was in touch with a fellow boardsie earlier in the morning about the gradient for these intervals. After the session I reminded myself not to doubt the gradient again! All between 5.11-5.22 pace. Spot on. Hard work though.

Saturday - Easy 14M at 8.00 pace.
A funny one. Groggy to start. Good from 2 to 5. Tired from 6 to 11. A new man from 12 to 14. Felt good by the end but I think that was just the mental aspect of heading in the home direction.

Strange week. Solid training. Not happy with how I went into the week so tired (and hungover) and a bit annoyed at myself for not adjusting accordingly. Legs were tired all week. On the plus side, the Sunday rest did exactly what it said on the tin. Felt normal again today.
I spent yesterday evening trying to figure out how on earth someone runs a 10k in XC in under 36mins! I went back and looked at my splits from the Limerick Novice/Masters race. I averaged over 6min per mile for a 6k. So the lesson I have learned is I need to do a marathon block or two. Haha. Or join Crusaders.

Total mileage for the week was 54.3 miles. Putting down decent mileage these days. Munster Masters on the horizon. Sub 36 here I come. Lol

AuldManKing

Nice work last week!

Kicking myself that I didn't stay longer in McGrattans.........

Swashbuckler

AuldManKing wrote:

Kicking myself that I didn't stay longer in McGrattans.........

I didn't end up coming back. My buddy and the gang went for dinner and we ended up somewhere else.

Duanington

Even better - join Raheny, P ;-) - ( although, Crusaders did beat us to 3rd so maybe you're right!)

Solid week there, I find its always hard to shake off tiredness when the week starts off like that

Swashbuckler

Duanington wrote:

Solid week there, I find its always hard to shake off tiredness when the week starts off like that

I didn't help matters to be fair. I'm supposedly tired but still putting in 8min miles. I'm being particularly hard on myself this week.

Duanington wrote:

Even better - join Raheny, P ;-) - ( although, Crusaders did beat us to 3rd so maybe you're right!)

Seriously man... How on earth did you manage it... What's the secret? Consistency? Marathon block? Last year's XC? Cumulative effects of all of the above? Who runs a 10k pb in XC like.... Seriously. Haha

Duanington

Swashbuckler wrote: »

I didn't help matters to be fair. I'm supposedly tired but still putting in 8min miles. I'm being particularly hard on myself this week.



Seriously man... How on earth did you manage it... What's the secret? Consistency? Marathon block? Last year's XC? Cumulative effects of all of the above? Who runs a 10k pb in XC like.... Seriously. Haha

Probably all of the above, throw in a better than usual surface and a lot of people faster than me too

Swashbuckler

Much better week feeling refreshed after last Sundays rest. Came into this week feeling much better and it was reflected in the training.

Monday - Easy 7M + 6x20s Strides
Tuesday - 5x5mins off 2mins at 10k/Tempo Effort on Grass.
Wednesday - Easy 7M
Thursday - Easy 8M
Friday - 1/2/3/4/3/2/1min off equal recoveries +3min Jog +1M all at Race Pace.
Saturday - Easy 14M
Sunday - Rest

So busy again this week. Had a conference on Wednesday and Thursday so I had to run in the evenings. Can't say I enjoy reversing my routine. Eating dinner during the day doesn't suit me atall.

The sessions were on particularly mucky ground especially Fridays. Conditions were desperate. Wind, rain, soft ground. Desperate. Made for a rough pyramid session. Was destroyed when I got back to work. Got some looks from people basically wondering did I actually go out in that. No excuses I said! Enjoyed the sessions though. Feeling the benefits of the grass. Saturdays long run was on particularly tired legs.

On another note, if I've done my calculations correct this is week 52 completed with coaching. I think coach has forgot our anniversary. No flowers, no card.... Nothing. Wtf.
Anyway....

52 weeks of solid running. I think only five runs missed in that time. One snow, two illness, two unavoidable.. 14 races. 10 PB's. All goals for 2018 achieved (apart from one I think). HM time from 1.31.30 to 1.19.48. 10k from 37.45 to 36.05. 5k from 18.22 to 17.35.
Very happy man. Who knows what the next 52 weeks will bring. Very grateful.

MY BAD

That's been some year for you!

skyblue46

A cracking year P...and lots more to come no doubt. It has been a very enjoyable journey to follow....maybe not log of the year quality but good all the same! :pac:

Duanington

What a great year, P - so much more to come

Kellygirl

You have been so dedicated so those PBs are very well deserved! A fantastic year.

Swashbuckler

skyblue46 wrote:

A cracking year Paul...and lots more to come no doubt. It has been a very enjoyable journey to follow....maybe not log of the year quality but good all the same!

I tried my best. I really did. All those reports of pain... All that suffering.... For nothing...

Swashbuckler

Duanington wrote:

What a great year, P - so much more to come

Anything less than a pb at the Munster Masters next weekend and I'll be disappointed

skyblue46

Swashbuckler wrote: »

I tried my best. I really did. All those reports of pain... All that suffering.... For nothing...

Never say never, that near politician level of pressing the flesh in McGrattans may yet pay dividends!

Swashbuckler

skyblue46 wrote: »

Never say never, that near politician level of pressing the flesh in McGrattans may yet pay dividends!

Three solid days in McGrattans wouldn't make up for the shed load of Novice votes you've secured.

skyblue46

Swashbuckler wrote: »

Three solid days in McGrattans wouldn't make up for the shed load of Novice votes you've secured.

Haha...they hate me! The cranky old bol1ix who kept giving out to them. To be honest only that they are not novices anymore I'd still be there giving out!

ReeReeG

skyblue46 wrote:

Haha...they hate me! The cranky old bol1ix who kept giving out to them. To be honest only that they are not novices anymore I'd still be there giving out!

It's more fear than hatred S hahaha

Swashbuckler

skyblue46 wrote:

Haha...they hate me! The cranky old bol1ix who kept giving out to them. To be honest only that they are not novices anymore I'd still be there giving out!

It took a good year of me giving out to my buddy before he finally started listening. I feel your pain. Haha

skyblue46

Swashbuckler wrote: »

It took a good year of me giving out to my buddy before he finally started listening. I feel your pain. Haha

This topic probably deserves a thread to itself. My sister has signed up for next year. I told her to run 12 min miles for now and she is out banging out a 4 mile run in 40 minutes...can't resist speeding up she said. I'm also noticing how many are out doing runs at faster than their marathon pace

Swashbuckler

skyblue46 wrote:

This topic probably deserves a thread to itself. My sister has signed up for next year. I told her to run 12 min miles for now and she is out banging out a 4 mile run in 40 minutes...can't resist speeding up she said. I'm also noticing how many are out doing runs at faster than their marathon pace

Honestly, one thing I learned during the year is let people make their own mistakes. They'll eventually come back and ask why they're knackered or injured or not running PB's. You'll tell them the same. They won't listen. It'll happen again and again and eventually, it sinks in haha. Or it won't... But then remind them nobody cares about their running as much as them, including yourself and it's up to them to listen or not.

ariana`

Great year P, coach must be very proud of you even if he did forget your anniversary - no doubt he was too busy cooking up some nice juicy sessions for this week :P

Baby75

skyblue46 wrote: »

This topic probably deserves a thread to itself. My sister has signed up for next year. I told her to run 12 min miles for now and she is out banging out a 4 mile run in 40 minutes...can't resist speeding up she said. I'm also noticing how many are out doing runs at faster than their marathon pace

It does S, I have given up saying the same to my two friends running a half next week, every run is at their tempo pace and after this week they were complaining how tired and worn out they felt and how they found it hard to run at the weekend but the pace looked good on strava so that was good:eek: I guess they will learn eventually, for now, I am leaving them to it. It does seem to be a common trap so many fall in to.


Swashbuckler what a great year well done

Swashbuckler

Munster Masters XC "report"

Not so much a race report but a life report. Been debating back and forth what to say here, if anything. I'm not typically one for divulging private life stuff online. After some reflecting I figured I see this forum as a community of sorts. Extended family so to speak. We share our victories, our failures. The whole reason for these training logs is to share our journey.

With that in mind, to say everything has been great of late would be a lie. The last few months in my personal life have been fairly ****e. Because of that, I haven't been looking after myself both mentally and physically. Probably in a bit of denial for quite a while. Interestingly it was words from a wise man on here over the last week or so that got me thinking. Paraphrasing but basically people do great work in the one hour they spend running every day and then have 23 hours to mess it up. To be honest since before Charleville around early September I've been doing a bad job of the other 23.

As is often the case in times of high stress my way of coping usually revolves around food, typically skipping meals and giving in to the obvious cravings with bad choices and binging. Also not dealing with the stress in any shape or form. Mental health has always been something I've been tuned into and recently my own hasn't been good. I'll leave it at that and not get into too many details. Things are starting to settle a bit lately but yesterday's XC was the kick in the arse I needed.

I don't really feel like turning this into a normal report where I talk about what I ate for breakfast and what socks I wore. Haha. So I'll skip most of the details from yesterday. I felt OK, not great. It's always a worrying sign when you just don't want to go to the race. But I had committed to the lads I'd be there so it wasn't up for debate. The missus knew something was up. In terms of the race it was no worse or no more painful than you'd expect really. After a mile I was feeling it and the mind started to go. And this time the mind just didn't have the stomach for a battle. I managed to get through 5k and that was it I was done. In a way I'm glad. If I had got through that race with a positive result I'd just have kept going in denial about my lifestyle and mental health. As soon as I pulled over to the side my first thought was something has to change. Can't keep going on like this. So that's a positive. Met up with the lads at the finish. Nothing more gutting than turning to your teammates and telling them you didn't even finish the bloody thing. Got in the car, headed home and spent some quality time with the missus and baba.

Had a long chat with the missus, and coach (bless him he's a Saint putting up with all of these primadonna athletes) haha. So I've identified some adjustments to be made. Mainly revolving around diet and work. Coach is making some minor short term adjustments fair play to him. Sometimes it's hard to take a step back even for a week but it's good advice and I'll take it. Sorry if this reads as self indulgent tripe but why bother putting fake updates on here. We all have our struggles. If I'm gonna sit here and harp on about my great result in some race then I should also be willing to share struggles. At worst maybe someone might take something away from it.

Anyways onwards and upwards. A new beginning and eyes more open than they have been in a while. I also want to change this log title. Much too negative meaning behind it. Anyone know how?

I'm gonna try and keep this log updated but it's something I've struggled with a bit lately. Life really has been a bit of a mess! Anyways, Thanks for reading. Time to refocus and start enjoying running again.

skyblue46

Not going to say much here or this will turn into an AMK log like psycho analysis by some. Just wanted to thank you for the time you spent writing it and the honesty contained in it. Better days ahead in every respect I'm sure.

OOnegative

Sent a mod a PM with the new title name for the log and they should do it.

eyrie

Swashbuckler wrote: »

If I'm gonna sit here and harp on about my great result in some race then I should also be willing to share struggles. At worst maybe someone might take something away from it.

I think that's both brave and generous of you P. It's very easy not to do it.
I obviously don't know any of the detail of what you're going through, nor is it my business, but I have some experience of similar struggles, and I'd bet that many here have. I'm a big believer in honesty (with yourself, mainly, and those who matter most to you) as being so much more freeing than anything. We're all flawed and we all have our crap, but we're all pretty decent too. No shame in any of it. No doubt you didn't want it to hit you in the face in the middle of a race but it sounds like you're seeing that as positive yourself. Good luck with everything.

Duanington

It's a hobby, P - nothing more and nothing less. Every single one of us will go through or have gone through something similar to some extent. Stress is a real f*cker, when we develop that single mindedness as runners to get out and get the session done regardless of what is going on behind the scenes, it can snowball needlessly into something it doesn't need to be.

The ironic thing, running can and should be a great way of managing our mental health, unfortunately it can also serve to compound stress and the related symptoms. When that happens, we simply CANNOT recover physically or mentally and are probably turning into cranky ba$tards to everyone around us and making the issue worse.

Fair play to you for getting on top of it though, take it easy for a while and you'll reap the rewards in every aspect.

If it makes taking the down week ( or 2) any easier for you...I was forced to take a good few down weeks around this time last year ( in my case it was iron related but the symptoms are very similar I'd imagine) and I can honestly say I never looked back once I got going again.

Take the downtime and enjoy it man

BUT FINISH THE DAMN RACE NEXT TIME

El CabaIIo

Pm a mod to change the title. Supermod RQ is usually good to do it but you have to buy her favourite flavour of crisps as a bribe;)

On the mental health, you have to make changes as you say, the body loves homeostasis whether it's good or bad so you have to challenge it and conciously change your mindframe. It's like training, you challenge the body/mind with new stimulus and it adapts. It takes time and patience so don't put pressure on yourself to make big strides in short periods.

On the race, sh*t happens. Don't beat yourself up about it. There seems to be a tendency among distance runners to see a DNF as a mental frenzy that will occupy and consume your mental will for the rest of your life. I think that's bullsh*t but don't tell anyone because I might be viewed as a mentally weak runner;). You know how you felt and you know that that one race means nothing of significance when placed in the backdrop of all the races where you toughed it out.

Best of luck with the changes and good health!

Kellygirl

Fair play for being honest and not making up some excuses. I’m sorry to hear things haven’t been so good and I hope everything sorts itself soon for you.

healy1835

Very honest stuff here Paul. Hope getting it off your chest helps. As DD said, take as long as you need to recharge the various batteries that need recharging. Come back ready to go. Fancy a little show down in Raheny at the end of January?

Tigerandahalf

I have been following your log for a bit. Initially some of the intervals peaked my interest and I popped in now and then since.

Like myself you have young family now and it is a huge juggling act trying to get enough runs in so that you can get race fit. One of our kids is a terrible sleeper and it has had a big impact in this house. Add in sickness and just getting out the door can be a great achievement.

I have a race planned with a while and I am getting into the shape that I would like to be in to pb, first time in 2 years. I was going to run tonight but same kid has a chest infection and it is my turn to spend half the night awake now.

I suppose what I am trying to say is that family has to come first and everything else has to follow inline. I have still ran fairly consistently over the last couple of years without racing and have still enjoyed it - much of it for my mental health and also to keep the belly down. For yourself you have made great progress but don't be putting too much pressure on yourself to keep it up.

Best of luck.

AuldManKing

Cant believe what you're going through and those b'stards giving you grief on Strava.....

Nah, shouldn't joke about it - bad form on my part, but I think we should analyse the hell out of this. The 'whats' the who's, the why's - this is gold dust......

No - again - sorry - no more.


I was running this week and thinking about how running is fantastic for mental health, but sometimes there are aspects to it that if not managed can lead you down dark places.

None of the below may apply to you - but it might lead to a conversation along here - or someone may start a thread about it?

The comparison element is one thing - X ran this and Y has that PB or Z is doing 90 miles per week - Why cant I.
The social media side of it can be a bit 'putting your best side out' and only showing the positives while the negatives eat away at you.
Sometimes Boards brings out the worst in both these aspects - people highlighting their positives might just compound your negative feelings.

In the past I struggled with race anxiety - not a big deal in my personal life, but impacted on my hobby.
I found myself being classified (in my head) as someone who trains fantastically well, but seldom delivers.

Boards/Social Media compounded that until I found better ways to think about it and deal with it.

The positive thing about your case is that its now out in the open, we can slag you about it.....no $hit, sorry (cant help myself).....its in the open and you can manage it better now - the saying that 'its good to talk is so true' and this is where the running community and in particular the Boards community work fantastically well.

Its great that a race can trigger something that needs to change in your life and its even better that you recognise it rather than keep on going as it was - so in that sense maybe this particular race was one of your best results.





But the bottom line here is that you need to finish the damn race next time.

Swashbuckler

Cheers to everyone for the kind words. AMK your post deserves a separate reply all to itself. Haha.

Swashbuckler

AuldManKing wrote:

Nah, shouldn't joke about it - bad form on my part, but I think we should analyse the hell out of this. The 'whats' the who's, the why's - this is gold dust......

Haha joke away. Life's too serious as it is. One of the benefits of a place like Boards is there's a healthy mix of genuine concern and pi*staking. Haha.

AuldManKing wrote:

I was running this week and thinking about how running is fantastic for mental health, but sometimes there are aspects to it that if not managed can lead you down dark places.

I definitely feel the need to point out that the running side of things hasn't been the issue or any pressures etc. It's purely factors outside of running that have both caused and escalated things.

AuldManKing wrote:

The comparison element is one thing - X ran this and Y has that PB or Z is doing 90 miles per week - Why cant I. The social media side of it can be a bit 'putting your best side out' and only showing the positives while the negatives eat away at you. Sometimes Boards brings out the worst in both these aspects - people highlighting their positives might just compound your negative feelings.

Definitely agree with you there in terms of comparing. I think we're all prone to that from time to time. I wouldn't say it's compounded things for me although the XC has definitely put me in my place in terms of where I'm at, where I thought I was at and where I want to be.
Having faith in the coaching helps. I think it would be a lot more difficult if I was clueless about how to approach training.

AuldManKing wrote:

Its great that a race can trigger something that needs to change in your life and its even better that you recognise it rather than keep on going as it was - so in that sense maybe this particular race was one of your best results.

Very deep A. There's more to you than the 5ft 11.5 inch tall bronzed God you present to the general public.

AuldManKing wrote:

But the bottom line here is that you need to finish the damn race next time.

Haha. Yourself and D will never let me down if I don't.

Swashbuckler

healy1835 wrote:

Very honest stuff here Paul. Hope getting it off your chest helps. As DD said, take as long as you need to recharge the various batteries that need recharging. Come back ready to go. Fancy a little show down in Raheny at the end of January?

Haha funny you should say. It was one race that was on my radar but I'm gonna see what coach thinks about next year and go from there. I've no firm plans yet.

ariana`

Like others i am sorry you're having a difficult time P and i appreciate the honesty in your post. It's something i'm sure a lot of us can identify with. Personally i think it's so easy for things to spiral out of control, in the modern world we are all living so precariously on the cliff edge balancing family, work, hobbies that it doesn't take much to send us over the cliff when sleep deprivation, work stress, family, stress, money stress or anything else gets added to the top of the carefully balanced load....

It's great that the race/DNF gave you clarity on where you are right now, and it's great you have a supportive coach & wife to get you through this time. Just remember the journey back from mental health/anxiety issues is rarely linear so don't be too hard on yourself if you have set backs or it takes longer than you hope, keep plugging away and talking to your nearest and dearest about what's going on and you will hopefully be in a very different place soon.

Baby75

Swashbuckler well done on sharing it is not easy putting yourself out there esp if you're not feeling your best you are very brave to do so.
My mum always said, a problem shared is a problem halved and I hope reaching out and sharing has helped you feel much better
Take care and keep on talking better day to come now