Wedding Faux Pas

Spider Web

PLL wrote: »

Sadly, I suspect your sister may not like your wife. Women know the no white rule, and only break it if they have zero regard for the bride's feelings. Even so, it makes you look like a massive bítch.

Women don't all know the silly blanket "no white" rule.

I think it looks far worse to say things like the above, in case the woman genuinely made a mistake.

If a bride is going to be absolutely losing her sh-t over it, she seems like a needy, insecure nightmare.

Crea

Does it go against etiquette? Yes
Is everyone aware of the etiquette? No (although most people would be)
Is it worth getting upset about? No
Is it worth holding a grudge for? No

Pwindedd

Most ladies would know not to wear white to a wedding, when there is a whole spectrum of other colours to chose from. My ex MIL wore white to my wedding. She's dead now. My adult step daughter chose a colour dress that made it look like she was one of the bridesmaids. Everyone pitied her when I corrected their assumption. Their facial expression was very similar to the one you make when your about to fart and not sure if you can trust it.

Congrats Colin

Colser

It really isn't a major issue and I'm sure you're wife will see it for what it was and will probably only mention it 4 or 5 times a day for the rest of your life..no big deal really.Congrats to you both.😀

exaisle

Deleted User wrote: »

The wedding has already been consummated btw!

You don't consummate a wedding, you consummate a marriage.

Now go back and do it properly... ;-)

exaisle

Pwindedd wrote: »

My ex MIL wore white to my wedding. She's dead now.

I assume these two statements are unrelated....

corner of hells

Congratulations Colin.

Have any you lot considered that Colins sister may have in fact been the priest and their dresses are white.

Any that brings me along to my favourite ever wedding where a bridesmaid head butted one of the guests who had mistaken him for her ex.

begbysback

Marriage, outside of the religious aspect, is supposed to actually mean something.

It seems most of the meaning has now gone into the unwritten rules of a fashion show...

begbysback

begbysback wrote: »

Marriage, outside of the religious aspect, is supposed to actually mean something.

It seems most of the meaning has now gone into the unwritten rules of a fashion show...

We're not talking about marriage we're talking about wedding etiquette, the marriage bit comes after that.

Clara B

Congratulations Colin on the wedding

firstly,I'm not much of a one for weddings and traditions-I generally think that weddings end up being about pleasing everyone but yourself. I don't much like attending them either-as that much "planned fun" can be a nightmare-same goes for hen parties.As far out of the loop as I am I can tell you that every woman KNOWS not to wear white to a wedding-it is just not done. If your sister didn't know she would have been told when she had told/shown people what she was intending to wear. Every woman tries out their dress at least once for someone to get their opinion on it. There really is no way she wasn't aware.
It may be the case that she thought your new wife wouldn't mind-I think that's a slim chance though. Tbh I think what your sister did was awful and I am sure it has annoyed your wife. It would annoy me. Its not worth falling out over but I would be saying it to her at some point that it was a slightly bitchy thing to do. Its like she was trying to steal the brides thunder-that's why the bride wears white-to be the center of attention. As she should be-most people only have their wedding day once.
Really,its all down to how your wife feels. If she is annoyed,as previous poster said,you should have her back. If she is ok with it then let it go and just say to your sister that you noticed and were not impressed.

philstar

OP is you're sister a virgin are not ?

if she is then wearing white was fine it not well then she's a hypocrite simple as

edit: sorry i thought it was you're sister that was getting married

White dresses is a sign of extravagance and came into fashion from royalty, it has zip to do with virginity

Also did you really ask someone if his sister is a virgin

helimachoptor

must have been some wedding/evening of the wedding if you're posting on boards at near 11pm

Robsweezie

just dont do a big scuttery shiit all over the wedding reception and all should be fine

Badly Drunk Boy

helimachoptor wrote: »

must have been some wedding/evening of the wedding if you're posting on boards at near 11pm

He already said that he started the thread while in the toilet, not because he had a major urge to post here. I hear a lot of people use toilet-time to go online. And it also sounds like there was a discussion about it, and he wanted a few neutral opinions on the subject from us.

michellie

Congrats OP! I hate when people wear white dresses to weddings, out of all the colours they had to wear white!?

Reminds me of this post on Reddit this morning.

Spider Web

michellie wrote: »

Congrats OP! I hate when people wear white dresses to weddings, out of all the colours they had to wear white!?

Reminds me of this post on Reddit this morning.

Yeah, picking a dress that looks like a freaking wedding dress is just rude.

But, say, a short ice skater style dress in white, with a light blue floral print and light blue sash, and light blue shoes and bag - that's different in my opinion.

michellie

Spider Web wrote: »

Yeah, picking a dress that looks like a freaking wedding dress is just rude.

But, say, a short ice skater style dress in white, with a light blue floral print and light blue sash, and light blue shoes and bag - that's different in my opinion.

Well that is different because it has a pattern on it. Plain white/ivory not so much.

Spider Web

I just remembered an incident someone told me about, where a guest wanted to wear her own wedding dress to a wedding. :pac:

I don't think the rule should be "no white, no off white, no cream" - too aggressive and not taking the finer details into consideration.

But "no dresses that look like a wedding dress" is perfectly fair, imo.

michellie

michellie wrote: »

Congrats OP! I hate when people wear white dresses to weddings, out of all the colours they had to wear white!?

Reminds me of this post on Reddit this morning.

That's a bit cheeky! There is no way that girl didn't know what she was doing wearing a long ivory dress to a wedding.

I personally wouldn't care, but I don't think deliberately trying to take attention away from the couple is a particularly nice thing to do either.

neonsofa

Spider Web wrote: »

I just remembered an incident someone told me about, where a guest wanted to wear her own wedding dress to a wedding. :pac:

I don't think the rule should be "no white, no off white, no cream" - too aggressive and not taking the finer details into consideration.

But "no dresses that look like a wedding dress" is perfectly fair, imo.

People will always have their own interpretations and you'll still get those who say "this white ballgown is nothing like a wedding dress though" :pac:

I personally just avoid any white or similar because whether the bride cares or not or whether I think it looks like a wedding dress or not, it's known that it's a faux pas as per the title so it's just best avoiding altogether on the off chance that the bride may not agree with my interpretation of the unwritten rule, and at the end of the day, it is her and the groom that matter, not whether I get to wear a certain dress/look good.

tomwaterford

How old is the sister here??


Just brush it off and move on,its hardly worth falling out over what someone wore

Witchie

When my bestie was getting married a few years ago one of our friends called me in a panic a few days before the wedding because she had bought a dress she loved but when she got home her husband told her she shouldn't wear it coz it was a short white lace dress over a pastel flowery pattern and he was worried about the non wearing of white thing.

So being bridesmaid she called me to see if our mate would be upset. I was able to ressure her it was fine bit couldn't tell her why.

She was very relieved when our friend walked down the aisle wearing a purple wedding dress.

My parents were recently invited to a wedding of a lad from our area and his green card....oops wife....had put a demand in the invites that all the women should only wear green, blue or purple maxi dresses. WTF like?

freshpopcorn

Witchie wrote: »

My parents were recently invied to a wedding of a lad from our area and his green card....oops wife....had put a demand in the invites that all the women should only wear green, blue or purple maxi dresses. WTF like?

He might have connections with Newfoundland and Labrador Province Canada Flag.

titan18

I feel like everyone is missing their important question here.

Is your sister hot and/or single?

mariaalice

The way to sort it is to say noting it was distasteful in the extreme she did it for a reaction so don't give her one. All the guests and both your familys know she made a fool of herself and you can be guaranteed they were all taking about her.

On the other hand

She could be a dope and just did not realise.

andekwarhola

mariaalice wrote: »

The way to sort it is to say noting it was distasteful in the extreme she did it for a reaction so don't give her one. All the guests and both your familys know she made a fool of herself and you can be guaranteed they were all taking about her.

She wore a dress of a certain colour. She didn't streak up the aisle or something.

Crea

freshpopcorn wrote: »

He might have connections with Newfoundland and Labrador Province Canada Flag.

That's not the Newfoundland and Labrador flag

Crea

freshpopcorn

Crea wrote: »

That's not the Newfoundland and Labrador flag

It was a proposed flag!

Spider Web

neonsofa wrote: »

People will always have their own interpretations and you'll still get those who say "this white ballgown is nothing like a wedding dress though" :pac:

I personally just avoid any white or similar because whether the bride cares or not or whether I think it looks like a wedding dress or not, it's known that it's a faux pas as per the title so it's just best avoiding altogether on the off chance that the bride may not agree with my interpretation of the unwritten rule, and at the end of the day, it is her and the groom that matter, not whether I get to wear a certain dress/look good.

Well that's part of my point - people are only gonna be focused on the bride and groom anyway, so if someone accidentally wears a short off-white dress with darker accessories (as I've done - it didn't even occur to me until someone pointed it out the night before) they're not gonna be noticed or look like a bride.

neonsofa

Spider Web wrote: »

Well that's part of my point - people are only gonna be focused on the bride and groom anyway, so if someone accidentally wears a short off-white dress with darker accessories (as I've done - it didn't even occur to me until someone pointed it out the night before) they're not gonna be noticed or look like a bride.

Oh I meant that they are the only ones who matter as in people should try to make them happy on their day, not that all focus will be on them as opposed to their guests. People absolutely do notice what guests are wearing imo.

conacks

The OP has clearly stated that the dress was 'ambiguously white'(even when asked if he meant unambiguously) so basically it could have been any colour so no problems.......

whoopsadoodles

Spider Web wrote: »

Well that's part of my point - people are only gonna be focused on the bride and groom anyway, so if someone accidentally wears a short off-white dress with darker accessories (as I've done - it didn't even occur to me until someone pointed it out the night before) they're not gonna be noticed or look like a bride.

Well of course you're going to think like that when you've done it

Wearing plain white/off white is a no no. It's the most basic of wedding etiquette and I don't know why anyone would when there's a million other dresses to be worn.

Wearing a dress that has a white base colour but is patterned with other colours is another thing entirely.

The problem with wearing a dress that is plain white/off white on the top is that in photos that don't show the whole dress, it looks very like you're wearing a full white gown.

I would notice if someone wore a white dress to a wedding and I would think to myself "why?" but I certainly wouldn't fall out with anyone over it.

When my sister got married her sis in law asked was it black tie, they were told nope. She showed up in a plain ivory full gown . As bridal as you could get and her husband in a tux. Very odd behaviour. My sis's dress was also ivory!

everlast75

Congratulations OP!

whoopsadoodles

everlast75 wrote: »

Congratulations OP!

Oh yeh and this too!

mariaalice

Wedding have a very strange affect on some people maybe just put it down to that.