Has anyone gotten revenge on an ex before?

Wibbs

Outlaw Pete wrote: »

this particular Cortina model didn't come with an e/w option

Cortina eh? That's rocking it old school. I learned to drive in a 2000e Cortina back in the very early 80's*. Automatic, with blue velour seats. Of course.





*the da used to get me to drive home when we went off fishing for the day. The first time I was twelve. Yep. When I think back... :eek: he'd be clapped in irons today.

ladybugxx

Wibbs wrote: »

Which is all you need to know right there. His sh1tty attitude and the life it will lead to will be all the "revenge" you should require. Cut him out of your life. Delete his number, arsebook, Twatter etc. Go off radar completely. Give yourself time. Know that he's not how the average man behaves. realise that you will need time to work on you and work on why you kept going back to a dickhead.

He isn't on any social media. I do however do video blogs and he frequently watches them would it be a good idea to stop for a few months and stay off the radar? I do like doing them however I don't want him watching them or seeing how I am or what im up to

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

ladybugxx wrote: »

I find it funny how you think im the bad one and take up for him anytime I mention what he has done to hurt me. He went as far to slag me over his baby I lost and mock the name we decided on. He doesn't give a **** who he hurts. So to answer your question he has slapped me in the face and stabbed me in the back.

I'm not defending him hurting you I'm merely saying there's a pair of you in it, a pair of 6s, you're not a duped victim. You KNEW he was a scumbag. You pulled sh1t on him as much as he pulled it on you though for sure he took low blows. You can't force someone to care or to be into you, lord knows I know it sucks when you've feelings for someone who doesn't care about you but you're angry at him for being him yet taking him back time and time again expecting him to change. I've no interest in partaking in anyone's pity party but you saying you'd hit him a good slap across the face because he deserves it, would you be okay with him doing the same to you because you ruined his name or reputation? I doubt it. Just leave it. Walk away. It's over. Meet someone who doesn't ruin your self confidence -- you will never ever make him be who you want him to be

Outlaw Pete

begbysback wrote: »

So you're rolling in a car with no electric windows, playing little mix - that showed her!!

ladybugxx

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'm not defending him hurting you I'm merely saying there's a pair of you in it, a pair of 6s, you're not a duped victim. You KNEW he was a scumbag. You pulled sh1t on him as much as he pulled it on you though for sure he took low blows. You can't force someone to care or to be into you, lord knows I know it sucks when you've feelings for someone who doesn't care about you but you're angry at him for being him yet taking him back time and time again expecting him to change. I've no interest in partaking in anyone's pity party but you saying you'd hit him a good slap across the face because he deserves it, would you be okay with him doing the same to you because you ruined his name or reputation? I doubt it. Just leave it. Walk away. It's over. Meet someone who doesn't ruin your self confidence -- you will never ever make him be who you want him to be

His rep was ruined before I even met him love. I made a mistake in taking him back but the chap was so convincing and the fact that I loved him made me forgive him more times than I should. Im entitled to be angry at him. Heck im angry at myself for taking him back. I wont be making that mistake again

Fr_Dougal

ladybugxx wrote: »

His rep was ruined before I even met him love. I made a mistake in taking him back but the chap was so convincing and the fact that I loved him made me forgive him more times than I should. Im entitled to be angry at him. Heck im angry at myself for taking him back. I wont be making that mistake again

Sounds like the real person that you need to forgive is yourself.

Hammer89

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I'm not defending him hurting you I'm merely saying there's a pair of you in it, a pair of 6s, you're not a duped victim.

No need to bring looks into it.

Hammer89

ladybugxx wrote: »

His rep was ruined before I even met him love. I made a mistake in taking him back but the chap was so convincing and the fact that I loved him made me forgive him more times than I should. Im entitled to be angry at him. Heck im angry at myself for taking him back. I wont be making that mistake again

Yeah, I'm not sure folks are taking self-esteem into account when they criticise for taking him back and whatnot. It's a big factor - might be the big factor actually.

Widdershins

begbysback wrote: »

Interesting - can you describe the characteristics of a man who is "too much of a good human being"?

I want to clarify this. Do you think I'm saying he's too good to be interesting?
If so, that's nearly the opposite of my meaning.

I arrived at my opinion of him partly on instinct and partly through a collection of things he said and did and observing how he interacts with people and with me. Especially me. I don't think further detail is needed. I see him as an exceptionally good man.

ladybugxx wrote: »

This might sound odd the types of lads in town that harass you on the streets they say how pretty you are and beg for your phone number are probably the blokes to avoid. I don't think meeting a lad on night out would make a good boyfriend either. Ive always ignored blokes like that . Then again most people out there these days are only looking for sex so much hassle to even think of putting myself out there. All types of girls do attract douches. I don't trust tinder either its so dodgy. Nobody really knows when you start dating a new guy how he will be or if he will treat us bad. I guess its a gamble. Suppose just know from bad relationships what not to take off the new man.

I suppose with the bad ones it's also less confusing when you sense someone wouldn't be doing x, y or z out of the goodness of their heart, they're only after one thing.

Wibbs wrote: »

A hard one. Mostly because I've observed that the template in people's heads is subconsciously more turned on by men/women who fit that template. If the template is an unhealthy one then the choices will be too. How do you know if it's an unhealthy one? Well if you look back on your relationships and all of them have been [insert unhealthy behaviour here], then the one common denominator isn't them, it's you.

If say all have been the types to cheat or be possessive or even physically abusive, then the person is picking them specifically for those traits. I can think of one woman I knew years back where every longterm "big love" boyfriend had raised a hand to her. Some more readily and more quickly than others, one in particular came as a real shock as he had never exhibited that kinda thing before(or from what I gather since). Her father was an abusive bastard and it's all too easy to go all Freud on that score but it seemed to be in play. Others I've known who kept picking emotionally distant men had fathers that were emotionally distant. I've seen similar with guys and their mammies. Now of course many folks will deliberately go the opposite way and look for people who are opposite to their father/mother.

The second major influence on that template is the very first "serious" relationship. The one where we learn about relationships for the first time. That can really set the stall.

How do you break this cycle. Bloody hard, because as I say the more someone fits this unhealthy template the more viscerally attracted to them you will likely be. Healthy potential partners could leave you cold. What does seem to help is a) realising these internal choices and b) getting older. The exciting "bad boy" at 20, doesn't look nearly so exciting at 35. Though some never really lose the template.


Well I'd work on that right off. Like some men who think a woman is "out of their league" and behave accordingly. Ask yourself why you think this in particular, yet don't have any worries regarding wealth or looks.

Very interesting, thank you. I'll have a think on that.