Insulted at an Interview

LegacyUser

Hi All,

Just looking for a bit of advice.

I should probably let this go, however it really upset me and I am wondering what to do. Now I know by making a complaint it won't benefit me in anyway, but having been looking for work for a few months now with no luck, I have been astounded at the amount of smug, ignorant interviewers (usually high up managers).

An interview the other day was particularly bad. And I do not know if I should make a formal complaint or just grin and bare it and continue to let people speak to me in such a manner , as I need a job.

The interviewer asked me my age.

She then said " I am always concerned about people who are later in life and haven't had it happen for them yet"

I did not know what to say. I just finished a masters and I have a lot of work experience.

At the end of the interview she reiterated again her concern about my age..and asked me "why hasn't it happened for you yet?"

I didn't know what to say, and was left bumbling like a mortified idiot, and I am ashamed to say the comment really upset me, feeling depressed and embarrassed following the interview.

I would also like to say this is a large Multinational IT company.

Does anyone have experience of this in interviews? If so, how can you deal with it/ respond to offensive interviewers?

I am exhausted from dealing with these kinds of people at interviews.

Thanks for any advice.

Batgurl

Glassdoor allows you to review interviews at companies. Most companies monitor this feedback as it's like TripAdvisor for employment.

It probably won't help you get the job but it will allow you to vent and get a little anonymous joy!

Most importantly learn from the experience and know how to respond to a question like that in future. Something like 'well x, that's an interesting question. Tell me, what would z company class as "making it"?' I find when ur asked a difficult question that ur not sure how to answer, it's always best to ask a question.

tomwaits48

It's probably intentionally asked to flush out weaker/hesitant candidates. A confident person would bat away this question. Don't take it personally, definitely don't waste your energy complaining anywhere. Use this as a learning experience and have a stock answer prepared for next time. Try not be too disheartened. Good luck.

hots

The age question isn't allowed really (although anyone can work out someones age from a CV anyway) but asking why it hasn't happened for you yet is perfectly fair as a tough interview question. Like any of the awkward ones most of the benefit of asking is to see how you handle being asked it.

jimmycrackcorm

It might help to understand the context of what it means. Putting aside you feel insulted, what is the answer?

As the other poster mentioned, you need to be prepared for this.

frozenfrozen

"Do you think 'it' would be working for this company? Baby you wouldn't know what 'it' was if it pulled you down a storm drain"

then stand up and clap and walk out while still clapping

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

I don't see anything inherently wrong with the question, albeit it's a tough one. You really need to have an answer to questions like this. Your age and employment profile probably begs just such a question.

tayto lover

That's not an insult.

Rubberchikken

personally i would have found the interviewer obnoxious and would question whether i'd want to work in a company that felt it had to belittle someone to 'get the best from them'.
plus, poor sould may feel she has to be just like the big boys to get ahead nowadays.

op, i'm sorry you experienced this crap. i really wouldn't care whether its being used to weed out the tough from the less tough/whatever, i would still label it unprofessional. chalk it up to experience and best of luck with the job search.

Xterminator

Hi Op

you made the choice to be offended by this remark.

It was a question that you could have aced and turned it around to show how your passion for education had led you to a masters ... or any other slant on this comment you chose.

its an opportunity to reflect on why it hit a nerve, and how you would handle such a situation next time.

hots

Xterminator wrote: »

Hi Op

you made the choice to be offended by this remark.

It was a question that you could have aced and turned it around to show how your passion for education had led you to a masters ... or any other slant on this comment you chose.

its an opportunity to reflect on why it hit a nerve, and how you would handle such a situation next time.

Exactly, it's an easy one to spin into talking about anything positive at all from your CV.

"Why did it take you so long to get here" quickly becomes "tell me about all the great stuff you've ever done"

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

wakka12

I dont see how its very insulting really..
Heard much worse interviews.my friend just a few days ago had an interview with an awful guy. Looked through her portfolio he says ' Wow Im disappointed by how the standard (insert her college) has slipped since I went there'

And he implied that she mightnt be right for the field, not even his firm, but just not right for this type of profession in general, once she got excellent grades in her bachelors degree for.
Absolutely horrible confidence destroying stuff that was needlessly personal.
THATS insulting!
Do you think maybe youre taking what she said a little too personally? And also I dont understand the age thing..how could a masters student be too old for the job..? Who are they hiring..secondary school students??

Cheerful Spring

insultedatinterview wrote: »

Hi All,

Just looking for a bit of advice.

I should probably let this go, however it really upset me and I am wondering what to do. Now I know by making a complaint it won't benefit me in anyway, but having been looking for work for a few months now with no luck, I have been astounded at the amount of smug, ignorant interviewers (usually high up managers).

An interview the other day was particularly bad. And I do not know if I should make a formal complaint or just grin and bare it and continue to let people speak to me in such a manner , as I need a job.

The interviewer asked me my age.

She then said " I am always concerned about people who are later in life and haven't had it happen for them yet"

I did not know what to say. I just finished a masters and I have a lot of work experience.

At the end of the interview she reiterated again her concern about my age..and asked me "why hasn't it happened for you yet?"

I didn't know what to say, and was left bumbling like a mortified idiot, and I am ashamed to say the comment really upset me, feeling depressed and embarrassed following the interview.

I would also like to say this is a large Multinational IT company.

Does anyone have experience of this in interviews? If so, how can you deal with it/ respond to offensive interviewers?

I am exhausted from dealing with these kinds of people at interviews.

Thanks for any advice.

Since we don't know the motive behind the question, it hard to say really, what would be the best way to reply? How long was your last job, was it a similar role and why you leave. The question could be about why are you not in a steady longterm job at your age? Least it sounds like it going by your your post?

amtc

I went for an interview years ago to a large IT company. The guy asked questions but never looked at me only at his screen. They offered me the job and I complained about his behaviour to hr. Then they would only confirm the offer after receiving a reference from my current line manager. Needless to say I left it at that.

I don't think you over reacted. Having interviewed myself it's a hard thing to learn

.......

This post has been deleted.

Creol1

The way you were treated could be seen as a breach of the Employment Equality Acts 1998 to 2015, which prohibit age-based discrimination. Accordingly, you could file a complaint with the Workplace Relations Commission. However, if the interviewer denies what you said she said and there was no-one else present, you could wind up in a situation where it's your word against hers. (I remember once watching a film where the same group of candidates find themselves being interviewed for the same entry-level jobs. One of them is getting on in years and a particularly arrogant employer asks him rudely what someone as old as he is is possibly hoping for; "just someone stupid enough to say they won't employ me because of my age" he replies; cue horror from the employer.)


At risk of stating the obvious, you might want to focus on employers who advertise themselves as "equal opportunity employers". While all employers should be "equal opportunities employers", it's rare for someone to be as blatantly discriminated against as you were, so it can help you distinguish employers who are genuine in their commitment.

CalamariFritti

I understand how it might be upsetting but it's not really an insult, no?

RGDATA!

draiochtanois wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Not what you want to hear, but that would have been the most meaningless, canned, clichéd response possible, up there with guff like "I work well on my own initative or as part of a team".

AnneFrank

complaining is for the weak, you have a masters degree, get back out there you will get somethings that's for you, good luck

draiochtanois

This post has been deleted.

Bredabe

....... wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

I had this as well when went back to full time, I still cant figure out whether it was something she says out of nerves or was a plike. I asked for clarity and hammered her with my relevant life experience.

My boss now said that they best response to comments like "why didn't you make it before now" etc was "now that im in a position to get a mortgage, it means I'll be staying in one place, imagine all that experience and you can be assured I'll not be going on maternity leave or career break"

Berserker

CalamariFritti wrote: »

I understand how it might be upsetting but it's not really an insult, no?

It's a weak question but not necessarily rude. Linking the role you are interviewing for to "making it", would be the correct response, in my mind. I'd forget about it and move on but you are going to come across plenty of people with this kind of mindset, OP.

arayess

it was insulting - its a petty pointed remark that she believes you have failed to achieve much in life.

she is a kn*b - one of those fools who judges success or happiness by corporate status or money earned.
empty airhead.

I'd forget it and move on - but your thoughts on the matter are spot on

mfceiling

I'd love to know what "it" is.

How does the interviewer know that the OP has €10 million in the bank, a Ferrari on the drive and a house in the south of france? The job could be something that you wanted and have been happy to wait til it came along.

bullpost

Its a terrible loaded question to ask.

Whoever asked it is unprofessional at best.

worded

It's too late now but you could have said "have you ever tried..."

And then grab your air guitar

And sing the rest of this

https://youtu.be/s0KXV0gB0dw?t=55s

sheroman01

I find this grossly unprofessional. This is blatant ageism, blatant prejudice. A company and their employers should be at their best to be professional and friendly during interviews. Imagine what they will be like when you have to work for them! I would 100% complain to them about this, directly or indirectly. Even if you do it anonymously. I wouldn't like to work there after those comments so you would have nothing to lose by complaining. You could go one better and tweet about it publicly, this would certainly get their attention and get their PR people scrambling.

worded

sheroman01 wrote: »

I find this grossly unprofessional. This is blatant ageism, blatant prejudice. A company and their employers should be at their best to be professional and friendly during interviews. Imagine what they will be like when you have to work for them! I would 100% complain to them about this, directly or indirectly. Even if you do it anonymously. I wouldn't like to work there after those comments so you would have nothing to lose by complaining. You could go one better and tweet about it publicly, this would certainly get their attention and get their PR people scrambling.

+1

It was an insult

You are when you are and going forward to get on board with blue sky thinking ....

My therapist says I've vengeance issues.
I'm going to make her regret saying that and you should make then regret saying that to you

In all seriousness - by complaining about that stupid remark you are making sure that ediot wont use that line on someone else. It's degrading and ageist by the sounds of things

insultedatinterview

insultedatinterview wrote: »

...............

Does anyone have experience of this in interviews? If so, how can you deal with it/ respond to offensive interviewers? .............

Was out of work in 2008 maybe for a few months. During an interview the smug bastad interviewing me asked me was it busy "out there".

I told if him "if it was do you think I'd be sitting here talking to you" :pac:

HR bird paused in her note taking

brooke 2

bullpost wrote: »

Its a terrible loaded question to ask.

Whoever asked it is unprofessional at best.

What struck me was that the interviewer could do with some training. I know for a fact that people who are totally unsuited for/unwilling to do
the job are put in that position by some companies. This particular company reeks of such. What disturbs me is the number of people on here
who think this type of questioning is acceptable. With proper training an interviewer should be able to elicit the necessary information without
being so offensive.