Child Maintenance

sandford

I have split with my child's father under extremely stressful circumstances, so would appreciate any advice from anyone who may have been in a similar situation or would have any knowledge of to what would be a good direction to go in.

After having my baby I took a lower paying job as it had more holidays, flexi time and the hours were more structured than the high pressured career path I had previously been on. At the time I had accepted the job offer, my ex and I had agreed that after my probation period, I would reduce my working hours to spend more time with our baby. He earns good money so financially we were secure. However, I now find myself a single mother, living in a more remote part of the country, working full time and commuting to Dublin city centre. I am covering all rent and bills alone while my ex has moved home to his parents.

My question is related predominantly to childcare. As we are quite remote, there are only 2 creches close by (which are also full), but they do not open early enough to facilitate my commute to work. I have a fantastic child minder, whom I and my toddler adore. My ex's arguement is that he shouldn't have to pay half of the childcare and maintenance money too. He thinks I should move our toddler to the creche where I will get the government subsidy and then I can cover the cost myself. Aside from there being no space, I would have to quit my job and try find something closer to home where I would be able to drop toddler off a bit later in the morning. I feel this is an unfair request to ask of me? We have been living in this area for years and he was well aware of my commute/working hours when we agreed I should take this job. I never expected he would walk out and leave us like this.

I really like my job, they are wonderfully supportive and though my early starts and commute may seems a lot on paper, myself and my toddler have a good routine and are very very happy despite the situation. It would break my heart to have to take my child away from the minder we have as she is utterly fantastic, flexible and accomodating when it comes to my hours etc. Am I being unreasonable/selfish? My son also has a medical condition which is why I have asked my ex for a contribution/maintenance on top of half our toddlers childcare... perhaps I am asking too much?

KERSPLAT!

I don't have any factual answer for you but it doesn't seem unreasonable that he cover half the costs of a childminder and pay some maintenance, this obviously depends on his earnings and yours and the amount of maintenance already paid.

There are far too many variables, in my opinion, for anyone to give a definitive answer. All the best, hope it works out for you and your child.

boardsuser1

As someone going through the family law system and paying court ordered maintenance, it isn't always straightforward.

What you want and what you get are 2 very different things sadly.

I have come across many parents who pay over and above for their children,some of whom don't pay.

The best thing to do is speak to your solicitor who can advise you on the best way forward and may also request a statement of means from him.

I wish you the best of luck.

sandford

Thank you both for your replies! Maybe a solicitor is the best road to go alright. Hopefully it all works out