How to commit the perfect murder.

Wossack

Candie wrote: »

If watching murder mysteries on tv my whole life has taught me anything - and I think it has - it's that no matter how ingenious my evil plan would be, sooner or later some ultra vigilant CSI type will not only spot I've broken a toenail, but he'll find that toenail in some body cavity of the deceased, question me in a room without a lawyer or police person present, extract a confession, and walk out of there safe in the knowledge that I'll be away for life just before putting his sunglasses on and coming out with a pithy line like "perhaps if she'd cut her toenails sooner, I wouldn't have nailed her so easily!"

enhance!

So Ive run the analysis on the nail colour chief and theres only one place that sells it

harry Bailey esq

Neyite wrote: »

Invite Angela Lansbury to stay for a weekend.

Her presence usually results in someone getting bumped off.

The likelihood is however, that the odds that a tag will wind up around your own big toe shorten 17 million fold. If I find out she's in the same country as me I batten down the hatches.

Hooks Golf Handicap

It's quite simple but it's not a murder you plan for, it goes like this:

Someone breaks into your home one night.
You surprise them & bosh them off with a hurl or something.
Now, chances are he hasn't updated his FB profile with "going around to rob HGH tonight".
So you've a body which you get into the boot of your car nice & quiet like.
Drive out some country road with no security cameras, leave your phone at home.
Deposit body in some ditch or wooded area.

A dog walker, it's always a dog walker, finds the decomposing body a few weeks later.
Body will be identified but nothing will link you to the murder.

corner of hells

Candie wrote: »

If watching murder mysteries on tv my whole life has taught me anything - and I think it has - it's that no matter how ingenious my evil plan would be, sooner or later some ultra vigilant CSI type will not only spot I've broken a toenail, but he'll find that toenail in some body cavity of the deceased, question me in a room without a lawyer or police person present, extract a confession, and walk out of there safe in the knowledge that I'll be away for life just before putting his sunglasses on and coming out with a pithy line like "perhaps if she'd cut her toenails sooner, I wouldn't have nailed her so easily!"

You just gotta keep killing people who suspect you .Dogvwalkers are always a problem , as are widows , postmen,midels and so on.
If you bump off enough of them people will eventually think you're a jinx and stay away from you.

Capt'n Midnight

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

The perfect crime is a weird one.

the perfect crime was committed.

Programmer figured out a way to transfer money from his employer. And rather than going on the run told the boss, "I've defrauded you, if you press charges I'll tell others how I did it and you'll be bankrupt in a week. Or if you agree to give me immunity I'll fix it so no else can do it."

They caved in. So he kept the money and didn't have to worry about being caught.


Murder isn't a perfect crime. Most normal people would be driven crazy by the guilt and fear of getting caught. In most cases it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Street thugs can kill and get away with it. That's the level of a murderer.


Yes they make good whodoneit's but that's because the witness is silent

howyegettinon1

harry Bailey esq wrote: »

Taking another's life is a very serious matter, and that's putting it lightly. Hire the most professional fellow you can afford and it should be a piece of piss, if you pay peanuts you get monkeys.

fill victims pockets full of peanuts, and set loose dozen of starved possessed monkeys with razor blades wraped to their hands

OPTIONAL: eat the peanuts, just watch them monkey dont get you

Shemale

howyegettinon1 wrote: »

fill victims pockets full of peanuts, and set loose dozen of starved possessed monkeys with razor blades wraped to their hands

OPTIONAL: eat the peanuts, just watch them monkey dont get you

Find someone with a severe peanut allergy and then do this, one or other will get him and the monkeys will eat the evidence.

Monkeys are ninjas, I love this video, anyone close to this guy might have been battered

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6y4x0y4UIWM

shoegal1

There is always someone watching :O you would have to commit the perfect murder twice. I C U :ninja:

RobbingBandit

Philistines, Murder is an art not a pastime.

philstar

Alan Partridge knew best way...

Capt'n Midnight

Thankfully now that people are being jailed for using cars to kill people that particular avenue has gone.

my3cents

With the potential of a Hurricane on Monday their must be some ways to incorporate that into a perfect murder?

I know they failed in Murder in Paradise but there is always room for improvement.