Worst place you've slept.

dd972

In a pub/b&b in Limerick in the early 90's, walked for ages looking for another place I couldn't find so had to settle for this dump opposite Colbert Station, terrible room and shower and a really weird proprietor who treated me and my brother as if we were in town to do a gangland hit and couldn't be shot of us soon enough, ironically found the b&b we were looking for moments after checking into the lousy one.

Capt'n Midnight

In a field, because the derelict house had too much broken glass on the floor.

On a pile of gravel and it wasn't that bad all things considered.

Heathrow - noisy cleaners , Gatwick - seats have dividers , Stanstead - too much competition for floor space.

The old Ferry terminal in Holyhead , had to tape up broken windows to keep the wind out.

The usual camping holiday in Ireland, by day three everything is damp or sodden. And then when you wake up the bottom of the tent is floating like a water bed.


Read "The Worst Journey In The World" sometime. It's just miserable. Man-hauling overweight sledges in Antarctica. And when the going gets though you have to split the load and double back for the other half, three miles to move one mile. And we now know that they didn't have nearly enough calories so you are starving too*. And without vitamin C your body is slowly breaking down from scurvy. When it's sunny the ice melts a little and you sweat too so everything gets wet. When you sleep at night it's in an icy sleeping bag, then it gets wet as you warm it.

just miserable.

Now do it during the Antarctic winter. No daylight. None.

It's -60 and then your tent blows away :eek:


It's great reading on a winters night when you can hear the wind and rain outside and are safely tucked up in a warm bed.



* "S. privately forced upon me his one breakfast biscuit, and would have given me another tonight had I allowed him. I do not suppose that anyone else in the world can thoroughly realise how much generosity and sympathy was shown by this; I DO, and BY GOD I shall never forget. Thousands of pounds would not have bought that one biscuit."
- Frank Wild referring to Shackleton 1909

namloc1980

On a trolley in the corridor of an a&e while suffering from appendicitis. Bloody horrendous. That was only in February this year. Great health system in fairness.

LirW

Fell asleep on the toilet seat of the local metal club when I was an edgy goth teenager. Luckily enough I knew pretty much everyone there so they knew how to get me home.
I really don't fancy booze.

humberklog

The old Store Street garda station in the late 90's. About 12 blokes in a cell. Some scary, some sad and the odd bewildered dope like myself..

Noisy, cold, smelly, scary and a court appearance to greet me in the morning.

Lorelli!

A friends of mine falls asleep anywhere. He fell asleep upright on a stool in a nightclub before. He does that but then he just wakes up after about 20 minutes and he's grand again

For Forks Sake

Went into work one morning (back when I was 18/19) after a particularly heavy session the night before. Manager took one look at me and (rightly) decided that I was in no fit state to be dealing with actual people/customers and dispatched me to work in the warehouse.

After an hour I was in no humour, so whilst packing away stock, discovered a load of cushions stored away on top of the racking under the warehouse roof (must've probably been 20 foot above ground level).

Promptly built myself a nest out of the cushions up there and took myself the most satisfying two hour nap I've ever had.

Not the worst place I've slept, but probably the stupidest - just as well I sleep like the dead, any roll to the left or right would've ended with a 20-ft drop

Junkyard Tom

Shannon Airport, the back of a Polish family's car, a train station floor in Belgium - all in less than 24 hours.

everlast75

In the archway at the junction of Dame Street and Trinity Green. Was completely ******* after an Xmas do where drinks were 1e a pop. Woke up to two lads trying to rob me - told them to **** off and thankfully for me they did!
The next day was the first time I got "the fear" after drinking.. will never forget it

machiavellianme

In a ditch.
In a green Wheelie bin.
On the ground with nothing but the clothes I was wearing.
On a park bench.
In a gents toilets trying to keep the hand dryer running for warmth in the snow.
Chester.

machiavellianme

machiavellianme wrote: »

In a ditch.
In a green Wheelie bin.
On the ground with nothing but the clothes I was wearing.
On a park bench.
In a gents toilets trying to keep the hand dryer running for warmth in the snow.
Chester.

I think this is a poem. Bukowski?

machiavellianme

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I think this is a poem. Bukowski?

Nope, just random places I've slept.
Would kill for a good night's sleep like in one of them now.
Haven't slept properly in years.

machiavellianme

Plus, I had to google Bukowski.:o

bear1

Back in April this year I went to visit my brother who lives in Naples.
Chilled out and what have you until he suggested we go to a restaurant famous for the rudeness of the waiters. All done in jest though.
So anyway the rules are you get a free bottle of wine when you order and if you drink quickly they give you another.
So 3 bottles of wine later we went to the nearest pub.
There I started to feel the effects and ordered more idiotic drinks. One I remember was a triple whiskey and coke. I mean why....
So after that we went to another pub where I essentially pass out.
I wake up walking in the middle of nowhere at around 2am and it's fecking freezing.
God knows how but I found the street my brother lived on but of course he isn't there and his phone is off.
So I'm thinking I'm ****ed at this stage until I see an abandoned punto parked next to the house.
Woke up inside said punto around 5am shivering my balls off when I saw my brother was now home.
I'm pretty sure I was entering the hypothermia stage when I finally got into bed.
Car still there to this day as well.


Oh and Stansted airport. I hate stansted

kimokanto

Came home slaughtered after a good night out. It was cold & drizzly. Locked out of house & couldn't get anyone to answer the door. Climbed into back garden & had no luck with the back door either (Fnarr fnarr):D Dogs came ambling out to greet me & I thought that their kennel might do the trick. Could only fit my top half into the kennel but at least that much was dry. Dogs provided warmth and spittle while they licked my face until I passed out.
Woke up stinking with my bottom half soaked & OH pointing & laughing out the kitchen window:mad:

Snotty

At Feile one year, 8 fellas heading down in 2 cars, arrive and start to get the beer out, one of the muppet gets the beer out of the boot and locks the bloody keys in the car, the same car that contained both tents. We figure it's grand, some of us would shack up with some girls. Nope, all 8 of us slept in a Opel Astra that night.

languagenerd

Birmingham Airport after a concert. Most of the seats have dividers so we had to sit on metal chairs with our heads on a metal table all night. The air-con was freezing and at about 5am they started up a loud audio track that just repeated the security rules on liquids over and over and over. We thought it'd be grand - gig over at 11pm, maybe a few drinks, last train to airport, flight home at 7am. Ended up being more-or-less awake for about 48hrs.

Other than that, a hostel in rural Scotland that was basically a shed in the middle of a forest. No phone signal and really dark. Straight out of a horror movie. The showers were in another corrugated iron outhouse, cold and full of spiders. Just after we went to bed, a middle-aged guy wearing a torch strapped to his forehead came in and decided he'd sleep in our room as he didn't like the people in his. I was convinced we'd be murdered...

Pinch Flat

Like others in here I did a night in stansted. Pretty miserable place for a kip.

As a student, I travelled to Germany a few times for summer work. Went on the ferry the first year, got sh!t faced on a bottle of Bacardi we brought in from duty free. Sprawled pit on the floor of the boat bar.

Spend another night at a tram stop on a bench - woke up the next morning to Germans obediently buying their tram tickets above my head.

Oh yeah another night we went to a rave in the ruins of a castle in the Black Forest - me and the lads kipped in the basement. Which was covered in about an inch of fine dust / dust. We were destroyed the next morning.

uch

I was homeless in the late 80's early 90 in the Netherlands and slept in a bus shelter for a while, was the kind of place you'd bring yer pickup to roger, so I've watched so many cúnts tell youngwans they loved them so they'd get their hole than you could believe

Duff

Visited a friend in Canada a few years ago. Went out, got paraplegic drunk and proceeded to get lost in downtown Vancouver. Somehow stumbled back to his house and of course he wasn't there. I'd no key and my phone was long dead. The house was pretty much beside a forest and there was an old timber shed out the back. In I go, in the pitch black and near minus temperatures and feel around for something I can wrap around me. Found what I thought was a big towel but it turned out to be a roll of carpet. Wrapped myself in it and shivered for what seemed like 5 days until it got bright out and I could get into the house where I spent the day puking and ringing my ma to post me over Solpadeine.

pilly

In the back row of the cinema, and I was working there at the time!

Customer went out and complained because I was snoring.

Canis Lupus

A mosquito and other creepy crawly infested hotel on the border between Mauritania and Senegal. I had to take my tent out and set it up on the floor in order to not get eaten alive.

Mrs OBumble

Brother in law's lounge floor. His dog had fleas. He hadn't vacuumed in a while.

Dublin Airport was a doddle in comparison.

99nsr125

Rackstar wrote: »

In a ditch

Snap

retro:electro

In my mother's uterus.
Still freaks me out to think about it.

Grayson

Grayson wrote: »

In a hospital ward. The old guy in the next bed kept coughing. Then he stopped. Permanently.

Yep!

James's chronic pulmonary ward, six nights. I was the only young fella there, the other patients were dropping like flies.

Fcuking noisy flies.

Hammer89

I slept rough in an alleyway in Buncrana one night, using a bulging black sack as a pillow, with both arms inside my t-shirt. This was the end of May but it was really very cold and at one point I wondered whether I'd die. I think it goes without saying that quite a lot of drink was taken; so much so that I woke up outside the pub at about 03:00, totally alone, but I couldn't find my Bed and Breakfast. I don't know if you've ever been to Buncrana, but the town is a little like that bit in The Matrix when Neo runs down a train track in a Subway station and ends up appearing from the other side. You walk the length of the 'strip' once and somehow you're back where you started. It's a bizarre place. Also, the only thing which separates a taxi from a normal car in Buncrana is an aerial - no taxi plates on the top, no glow-in-the-dark 'taxi' written on the side, just a ****ing aerial which you can't see in pitch black.

I somehow stumbled across a hotel and I'd never been more excited. I was hungry, cold, drunk, very tired, and I'd have paid €500 a night. Problem is, I was turned away almost immediately, as your man pretended the place was fully booked. "Nope. Fully booked," he goes. I had said about five words at this stage. I don't know whether it was the sick dripping from my beard or the Dublin accent, but there was no way he was letting me stay there that night.

I'm too drunk, tired, cold and hungry to make my way back to the town, so I find some random house and knock on the door. No lights on, but sure listen, it was life or death. I didn't want a bed, but I did want the owner to ring the police on me. I should also point that my phone had died at this point. My thinking here was that they'd lash me in a cell for the night or something. One man - probably late 60s, going by the voice and the grey hair I saw through the blurry glass - came to the door, but didn't open it. "Sorry about this sir, but I need you to ring the police on me." The poor bloke probably thought I'd just murdered seven people with an axe. "I'm cold and lost and I need the guards. Please." I'm leaning against his wall five minutes later and sure enough they arrive. I was expecting a squad car but the lads turn up in a riot van.

"Are you the Dublin fella, ye are?," one of them goes.

"I am yeah. Listen guard, I know this is weird but you'll need to bring me to the station."

"Why, what have you done?"

"Nothing but I'm ****ing freezing and tired."

"How old are you?," he says, a bit judgementally.

"Twenty seven."

"Twenty seven? Would ye ever cop on to yourself and stop wasting our time."

They get back in the riot van and **** off, but before taking my name and address. Bear in mind they were probably only in that van because they were already out looking for drunk people and messers. Yet because I sought them out, it doesn't count. Anyways, I don't know whether it was the sick drying on my beard or the Dublin accent, but there was no way he was letting me in that van with them.

So now I have to find this Bed and Breakfast, hook or by crook. I wander back up to the town and have another go at negotiating this horrendous stretch of Ulster. I'm also wearing Cheslea boots from Pennys, one size too small but too nice not to wear, and they're tighter on me than a ****ing python. Not only am I drunk, tired, hungry and a bit sick, but my feet are giving me gyp at this stage from the walking. Nothing is coming up Millhouse for me.

Anyways, I'm back on the main strip - yes they call it a strip. They call a stretch of road about 300 yards along, which has businesses called Bridey's Shop and Sean Graham bookmakers, a strip - and it's time for round two. Good news is that I find it eventually. The bad news is that it's closed. I'd never stayed in a B&B before, so this blew my mind, in a bad way. The other bad news is that I didn't have the key. To recap: I have no battery in the phone, no key to get in, the guards have betrayed me, no open businesses, it's not bright and there's a Yukon-type chill in the air, no taxis and even if there was you can't identify them without nightvision goggles. "I'm ****ed," I think to myself. I go looking for a place to die, like a cat with cat AIDS, and stumble across this little inviting alleyway which the locals probably have sex in every Saturday night. I lie down, lay my weary head against the black bag and wait for the night to take me. I'm ready.

Later on, it's bright and I'm woken up by a street sweeper. "Rough night, hi?," some chap asks. "You've no idea, pal."

So yeah, Buncrana is the worst place I've slept.

Salthillprom

In a hospital..like right now..urgh

JupiterKid

On a chair outside a cafe in Amsterdam in a freezing March night circa 1999. Awful.

tedpan

Salthillprom wrote:

In a hospital..like right now..urgh

Yep, the same a few months ago for me. Luckily they gave me sleeping tablets, was in a room with 5 old lads. The smell of farts, piss and **** was really lovely.

shaunr68

Beechwoodspark wrote: »

Just curious. Were ppl using the lift and just ignoring u in the corner passed out?

Similar story on a work conference in York many years ago, a colleague got absolutely smashed and we propped him up on a chair in the lift, comatose. He was a short, bald Scottish bloke and looked a bit like a gnome. The worst lift attendant ever!

People were getting in the lift, shaking their head and using the lift. He was up and down for a few hours before we dragged him off to his room.

Mine was in Liverpool around 1990 after leaving a nightclub. Me and a mate couldn't be bothered waiting in a queue for a taxi and thought we would kip in one of those ATM booths, thinking we were clever and it would be nice, warm and dry only to find out that the doors were locked at night. So we ended up in a pile of cardboard boxes behind McDonalds and got the first bus home.

bodhrandude

One night at the Willie Clancy Week in Milton Malbay, I discovered my tent had been seized by the landowners where I had camped at Spanish Point, I sorted it the next day but for that night I ended up in someones camper, sitting upright in a tiny space. Unbeknown to me I was in the middle of what looked like a Peace Convoy encampment, the dreadlock hippie Irish, the maddies of the Looney Line. A fully fledged rave kicked off in the area with the crazy Spyro Tribe and the like and the camper I'm in full of grinning tripping eheads. A bizarre night, still managed to get a few hours kip too.

thesandeman

On a pile of sheep shít under a tree outside Tramore. I hadn't realised I was on sheep shít until I woke up in the morning circled by curious sheep waiting to use their loo. It was comfortable though.
It took me hours to hitch home because everyone who picked me up only brought me a couple of miles 'cos of the state of me.

I've also done the tram stop bench in Munich. Got woken up by two cops with guns. They were grand though when they found out I was Irish.

sbs2010

House party in Belfast. It was jammers and I didn't really know anyone there or how to get back to where I was staying. At 3 or 4am people started to bed down on couches, floors, beds etc.

By the time I decided to sleep, everywhere square inch was taken.

Only place left was the stairs!

dastardly00

In a hammock.

Sweet jesus my hamstring muscles were in absolute bits the next morning; I could barely walk!!

boardsuser1

On the streets at 13, it was definitely unlucky for me.

Rumple Stillson

I once fell asleep on the sink in a toilet under a stairs at a house party. Woke up and everyone was gone and I had a tremendous pain in my backside.

speckled_park

Ive slept in a standard sized suitcase. Lay in a foetal poaition in order to squeeze in, had a sore neck for a week.
Hated sleeping in those cheap tents that allowed water to leak in. Nothing worse than waking up in a damp tent with rain dripping in (oxygen 2010 ).

student7890

Glastonbury festival.. the worse for wear while a 'reveller' relieved himself against the side of my tent.
They must wonder why people don't take their tents home.

5rtytry56

Slept during my work day in the very musty archive storage room of that****hole office where I was paid shy+te and treated same when I was supposed to be looking for a more historic file a long long time ago. Somewhere in Dublin 2.

blade1

The Freewheelers annual rally in Kilmeaden Waterford.
Around 1997, Ian Dury and the Blockheads played.
Fairly wasted,ended up with some young wan in my tent which had holes in it and it was was pissing rain all night.
Woke up in a pond of water about 3 inches deep.

I've actually 100s of tales of weird places I've ended up.

99nsr125

Living a full life
Right on :-)

blade1 wrote: »

The Freewheelers annual rally in Kilmeaden Waterford.
Around 1997, Ian Dury and the Blockheads played.
Fairly wasted,ended up with some young wan in my tent which had holes in it and it was was pissing rain all night.
Woke up in a pond of water about 3 inches deep.

I've actually 100s of tales of weird places I've ended up.

Foweva Awone

Once had to spend a night in Simon emergency accommodation, they'd a medical container for used needles right beside the bed which was a bit weird! (I'm not a drug addict, never have been.) They provide a great service though, and believe me I appreciated the bed on the night.

I'm currently staying in the "special care" unit of a psychiatric hospital, zero craic let me tell ya! Does make me appreciate how lucky I am, there are so many so much worse off than me.

Sam Hain

A dirty old derelict house with a dusty floor and hazards everywhere. Huddled up in a freezing ball, praying for morning. All in the quest for the feel of at least a clothed breast as a teenage lothario after travelling 17 miles to a neighbouring town to meet a girl.

Sam Hain

While on holiday a mate feel asleep on the streets of some ****hole in Crete and was brought to some sort of medical centre and put in a bed, to sleep his over indulgences off. He duly pissed himself and woke up when he sobered up, upon realising his act of impropriety, still a tired soul, he jumped out of bed and shamelessly into an adjacent freshly made bed. So he probably combined the worst and best in one event.

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

In a shed on a Korean beach in the middle of a massive storm. I was lucky though, my friends who had set up their tents already got flooded out and had to go home.

RasTa

In the bathtub but for whatever drunken stupid reason I put my head on the taps and not the other side

harry Bailey esq

myshirt wrote: »

In a wardrobe. Two pillows in there tempted me. Bad idea. Back hasn't been the same since.

At least you didn't snore loudly and get caught by her husband!