Online dating in 2017

Mister Vain

tomwaterford wrote: »

Why bother using it,if it annoys yous?

Life's too short for that

Yeah thats the way I look at it. It can get to the stage where the pusuit of a date leaves you more unhappy than simply being single. Better to do stuff you enjoy. Stop looking and start living.

zcorpian88

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

You're not supposed to get that involved in someone's profile, you don't know them. If it's not working for you just leave it.

I'm just trying to make conversation and steering it towards their interests ffs. I'm sure they get enough generic "hi"/ "howya" messages and you'd be surprised how many of them complain of that too. Then ya open with a message showing that you went through what they wrote and want to get to know the person, and then....f**k all. Even more discouraging to be blocked, it's like I insulted her or something.

Lux23

zcorpian88 wrote: »

I'm just trying to make conversation and steering it towards their interests ffs. I'm sure they get enough generic "hi"/ "howya" messages and you'd be surprised how many of them complain of that too. Then ya open with a message showing that you went through what they wrote and want to get to know the person, and then....f**k all. Even more discouraging to be blocked, it's like I insulted her or something.

I am in a relationship five years now but in my experience of dating online from the days of Yahoo chat rooms right up to the POF app, girls always got dozens of messages. If I fancied the sender it didn't matter if he sent an opus or a hi, I was probably going to respond so if you're not getting any replies maybe get some better pictures taken. Girls like to see your face so an up-close shot is always nice.

I remember saying hello to the lads I didn't fancy just to be polite but I stopped doing this because I felt I was leading them on and if I didn't respond to the next message (or three!!) I sometimes got a torrent of abuse. But then again I often got abuse for not replying. And even when I just blocked them, they would set up new accounts to send me nasty messages.

I would hope in the last five years that people have matured digitally but from what I hear from friends of both sexes it is worse now then it was five years ago.

zcorpian88

Lux23 wrote: »

I am in a relationship five years now but in my experience of dating online from the days of Yahoo chat rooms right up to the POF app, girls always got dozens of messages. If I fancied the sender it didn't matter if he sent an opus or a hi, I was probably going to respond so if you're not getting any replies maybe get some better pictures taken. Girls like to see your face so an up-close shot is always nice.

I remember saying hello to the lads I didn't fancy just to be polite but I stopped doing this because I felt I was leading them on and if I didn't respond to the next message (or three!!) I sometimes got a torrent of abuse. But then again I often got abuse for not replying. And even when I just blocked them, they would set up new accounts to send me nasty messages.

I would hope in the last five years that people have matured digitally but from what I hear from friends of both sexes it is worse now then it was five years ago.

I am single well over a year now, my last relationship was a rebound, met the person 9 months after a horrible breakup with someone I was very much into. More or less under the surface resented the person I had the rebound with because, well, she wasn't like the previous person I was with. That person I ended it with too, it was a very complicated breakup.

I was always disillusioned with the dating scene here because more often than not it involves the pub, alcohol, getting the shift, getting the phone number then the next day the other person abandons ship when I initiate something later...rinse and repeat. And it's gotten so old. At 29 now I'm generally sick of the pub scene, same malarkey all the time, just want a few dates and something long term can come of it. This time of the year does kill me with Christmas and New Year, would be nice to have companionship. Just kind of feels like my life is passing me by kind of way.

As for my POF account, I have a few close up shots and one full body shot, I'm not dressed like James Bond or anything but they aren't terrible pictures. I'd be pretty average looking, but make myself look well for a night out or whatever. I wouldn't abuse anyone online but it does get frustrating, I mean 50+ people are in my sent messages list now, and that's from about 8 weeks of being on, it actually surpassed 50 but I think the app in general stops at the 50 mark and it adds your most recent messages to the list and gets rid of the old ones, it's probably like 60+ by now.

Absolute rat race it is, just someone nice and close enough to home, shouldn't be this difficult.

OP I wonder are you still harbouring feelings for the woman you had the horrible break up with? You mention it in almost every post you make.

eeguy

In think Bumble is gaining on Tinder now.

Might be a better shout.

Also you need to pay for tinder once you hit 30, so time is running out for you!

zcorpian88

Deleted User wrote: »

OP I wonder are you still harbouring feelings for the woman you had the horrible break up with? You mention it in almost every post you make.

No that's well over, accepted it, maybe there is an element of bitterness there, because even when I finished it, I knew it was going to be very difficult and time consuming to find someone else who I really gel and connect with, and I was spot on. When I have this much hardship just to get a bit of contact going, the mind would float back and yeah I would think "this is all her fault, she just had to be this way" etc

It's a s**t way to think, the chronic loneliness would get to you, have loads of friends and I get out quite a bit, but there is something missing.

Tried Bumble a few months ago, was on it a fortnight, found it as tedious as Tinder tbh. Could get back on it....meh...

ardinn

eeguy wrote: »

In think Bumble is gaining on Tinder now.

Might be a better shout.

Also you need to pay for tinder once you hit 30, so time is running out for you!

Please say this is true so I can take them to court for age discrimination!

ardinn

zcorpian88 wrote: »

No that's well over, accepted it, maybe there is an element of bitterness there, because even when I finished it, I knew it was going to be very difficult and time consuming to find someone else who I really gel and connect with, and I was spot on. When I have this much hardship just to get a bit of contact going, the mind would float back and yeah I would think "this is all her fault, she just had to be this way" etc

It's a s**t way to think, the chronic loneliness would get to you, have loads of friends and I get out quite a bit, but there is something missing.

Tried Bumble a few months ago, was on it a fortnight, found it as tedious as Tinder tbh. Could get back on it....meh...

Your not the OP though!!!

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

IVE FOUND A DOUBLE ADAPTER USER FAKE PROFILE AKA THING!

zcorpian88

ardinn wrote: »

Your not the OP though!!!

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

IVE FOUND A DOUBLE ADAPTER USER FAKE PROFILE AKA THING!

No I'm not the OP, just saw the thread and posted.

misstearheus

ardinn

ardinn wrote: »

Your not the OP though!!!

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

IVE FOUND A DOUBLE ADAPTER USER FAKE PROFILE AKA THING!

Oh my fault

eeguy

ardinn wrote: »

Please say this is true so I can take them to court for age discrimination!

Yep, its true.
Good luck with your lawsuit.

Personally i met my gf on Bumble. Signed up and swiped away for a while. Its nice that women message first. Suppose they're less jaded to lads sending them "up for the ride?" and "nice tits" messages.

After a week i had 50 potentials, so in paid the 3 euro to see who swiped for me. Swiped right on the ones i was interested in and my now gf was one of them.

Dr Crayfish

eeguy wrote: »

Yep, its true.
Good luck with your lawsuit.

Personally i met my gf on Bumble. Signed up and swiped away for a while. Its nice that women message first. Suppose they're less jaded to lads sending them "up for the ride?" and "nice tits" messages.

After a week i had 50 potentials, so in paid the 3 euro to see who swiped for me. Swiped right on the ones i was interested in and my now gf was one of them.

I haven't used Tinder in maybe 6 months but it was free then for us 30+ geriatrics, do they really charge now? Find that hard to believe.

Mister Vain

No they don't charge. I tried it yesterday and was able to use it no problem. Although I seem to only get Brazilian girls with huge glasses for some reason.

zcorpian88

eeguy wrote: »

Yep, its true.
Good luck with your lawsuit.

Personally i met my gf on Bumble. Signed up and swiped away for a while. Its nice that women message first. Suppose they're less jaded to lads sending them "up for the ride?" and "nice tits" messages.

After a week i had 50 potentials, so in paid the 3 euro to see who swiped for me. Swiped right on the ones i was interested in and my now gf was one of them.

Well done, fairplay....maybe I should give it another try. I think last time I used it, it was all Dublin based folk, live nowhere near there, nor do I fancy going up there. I'd like a relationship not a commute/relationship

Dr Crayfish

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Well done, fairplay....maybe I should give it another try. I think last time I used it, it was all Dublin based folk, live nowhere near there, nor do I fancy going up there. I'd like a relationship not a commute/relationship

I would find someone actively pursuing a relationship kind of off putting, but maybe I'm weird. Are you happy with your life in general? You sound a little frustrated I don't mean any offence I was probably like you once.

zcorpian88

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I would find someone actively pursuing a relationship kind of off putting, but maybe I'm weird. Are you happy with your life in general? You sound a little frustrated I don't mean any offence I was probably like you once.

Not so much actively pursuing, just difficult getting myself out there and meeting people, weekends are boring, like I hang out with friends most weekends but most of them now are settling down, in long term relationships, and busy doing their thing, one or two others are working on their career, I'm working on moving into an IT job but like I'd like to have a bit of fun (not sex) some people would read into that, I mean just a date, bit of excitement.

As for being happy in my life, what Irish 29 year old is happy with their life in fairness? S**t economy, not a lot of opportunity, everything is expensive, can't buy a house, renting is a struggle, lots of miserable stuff in the Irish media. I'd love to meet a "happy" 29 year old!

eeguy

Im a happy 29 year old

tomwaterford

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Not so much actively pursuing, just difficult getting myself out there and meeting people, weekends are boring, like I hang out with friends most weekends but most of them now are settling down, in long term relationships, and busy doing their thing, one or two others are working on their career, I'm working on moving into an IT job but like I'd like to have a bit of fun (not sex) some people would read into that, I mean just a date, bit of excitement.

As for being happy in my life, what Irish 29 year old is happy with their life in fairness? S**t economy, not a lot of opportunity, everything is expensive, can't buy a house, renting is a struggle, lots of miserable stuff in the Irish media. I'd love to meet a "happy" 29 year old!

I'm reasonably happy like (roughly that age group)....still get pissed off an odd time etc

But life Is good by and large...healthwise there's so many worse off than me

Obv il never own a house,or be rich....but I recently spent time with 2 people who are dying and reallly don't want to/unable to accept it

And personally at least all my struggles/issues are nothing...even if I was to die in morning....I'd be happy with what I've done with mine



...not to dismiss what's making you unhappy...but would you want to date a unhappy 29YO girl

zcorpian88

eeguy wrote: »

Im a happy 29 year old

Wanna hang out? lol

Tell your girlfriend to bring a friend ha

PTH2009

****ing hate all this tinder **** but it's the only way really I can find someone. Too shy to chat up women on nights out (do lads still do that ??).

I don't take a great picture so it's a disadvantage for this type of sites

I work in retail and have a lost a bit of self confidence through that cause I talk so quite and some people don't get that and react badly

zcorpian88

tomwaterford wrote: »

I'm reasonably happy like (roughly that age group)....still get pissed off an odd time etc

But life Is good by and large...healthwise there's so many worse off than me

Obv il never own a house,or be rich....but I recently spent time with 2 people who are dying and reallly don't want to/unable to accept it

And personally at least all my struggles/issues are nothing...even if I was to die in morning....I'd be happy with what I've done with mine



...not to dismiss what's making you unhappy...but would you want to date a unhappy 29YO girl

I admire the optimism, sorry about the unwell people in your life, I've a fairly young aunt that's very ill with MS and I was out with her recently to visit and she's in the final stages of it, tough seeing someone basically a prisoner in her own body. Terrible disease, wish I could take her pain away. And there is no cure for it. It's very unfair.

As for me, like I'm 29, I'd like to see some progression in my life, like when I was 21, I expected to be a lot further along by this time, like in a steady job/steady relationship, worked hard on both things, lost the relationship after I made so many compromises for it, some of my employment prospects got f**ked up because of it and I basically had to start all over again, it's a long story. And I'm working on upskilling right now but like I want what any typical 29 year old wants. Kind of feel like, whats left of my youth is going out the window. I'm in my prime here like, and wasting it on these f**king dating apps.

Mister Vain

zcorpian88 wrote: »

I admire the optimism, sorry about the unwell people in your life, I've a fairly young aunt that's very ill with MS and I was out with her recently to visit and she's in the final stages of it, tough seeing someone basically a prisoner in her own body. Terrible disease, wish I could take her pain away. And there is no cure for it. It's very unfair.

As for me, like I'm 29, I'd like to see some progression in my life, like when I was 21, I expected to be a lot further along by this time, like in a steady job/steady relationship, worked hard on both things, lost the relationship after I made so many compromises for it, some of my employment prospects got f**ked up because of it and I basically had to start all over again, it's a long story. And I'm working on upskilling right now but like I want what any typical 29 year old wants. Kind of feel like, whats left of my youth is going out the window. I'm in my prime here like, and wasting it on these f**king dating apps.

If that's how you feel about it then you should probably try something different. OD is not for everyone.

Pac1Man

misstearheus wrote: »

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zcorpian88

PTH2009 wrote: »

****ing hate all this tinder **** but it's the only way really I can find someone. Too shy to chat up women on nights out (do lads still do that ??).

I don't take a great picture so it's a disadvantage for this type of sites

I work in retail and have a lost a bit of self confidence through that cause I talk so quite and some people don't get that and react badly

Join the club, I've asked out the odd person on nights out and even sober but it's rare I would find someone I liked enough or got that spark where I felt I should ask. I say if someone catches your eye, and you get a thing going with someone you're acquainted with, sure ask her out, you've nothing to lose.

I don't take a fantastic picture either, I don't like to smile in photos that much, I'm more of a smirker so I'll do that, just take a few selfies, not too close up, angle the phone, and throw up one or two full body shots, with friends is optional. If you're quiet in speech, I would say just work on it, as long as you're chatty and can listen well you're golden I think. But I've been complaining on here all day too, dating apps are for the thick skinned, I don't know if I am anymore, but good luck finding someone dude.

tomwaterford

zcorpian88 wrote: »

I admire the optimism, sorry about the unwell people in your life, I've a fairly young aunt that's very ill with MS and I was out with her recently to visit and she's in the final stages of it, tough seeing someone basically a prisoner in her own body. Terrible disease, wish I could take her pain away. And there is no cure for it. It's very unfair.

As for me, like I'm 29, I'd like to see some progression in my life, like when I was 21, I expected to be a lot further along by this time, like in a steady job/steady relationship, worked hard on both things, lost the relationship after I made so many compromises for it, some of my employment prospects got f**ked up because of it and I basically had to start all over again, it's a long story. And I'm working on upskilling right now but like I want what any typical 29 year old wants. Kind of feel like, whats left of my youth is going out the window. I'm in my prime here like, and wasting it on these f**king dating apps.

Sorry to hear on your aunt

Your ambition and drive to up skill is to admired and will stand in the long term


Noone has it figured as much as there social media let's on....those lads with the new cars etc....mostly PCP and don't own em

Mostly Anyone you see posting about a perfect life on facebook etc are mostly using likes to boost enselves and cover over huge cracks in their personal lives....



Why not just not bother with the apps and if yous never meet anyone...what harm like??

Nothing is worse than feeling your wasting your life and frustrated??
(Be that on apps,crappy friends,dole/jobs ya hate etc)....yous get only 1 crack at life...

It's not worth wasting it doing same thing over and over getting frustrated and expecting differevt results

>>sorry for rambling