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Moving into deceased uncles house.

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  • 28-10-2017 8:40am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 4,448 ✭✭✭


    Hi there, I'm not sure if this is the right place for this but I'll hope it is.

    Basically my uncle passed away a few months ago, I was ridiculously close to him since birth, closer than to any of my immediate family. He built this house from the ground up basically bar the electrics and I spent most of my youth there aswell as visiting 4/5 times a week up until his death and would always have been considered his "extra" child. His will read that the house was to be left to his 3 kids and sold.

    My question is a simple one, I would love to move in for 2/3 years so myself and my wife can actually save for a mortgage for ourselves. Has anyone been in a situation like this before and if so, how did you approach it? Of his 3 kids, I know 1 of them will not want the house sold and would be very open to the idea i think as he knows how close I was to him. They all have their own houses so wouldn't need to move in themselves.

    Thanks in advance for any help.


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Comments

  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,380 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    I would be miffed if a cousin of mine asked to move into my house rent free. Why would they agree to this?


  • Posts: 5,121 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Unless you are prepared to pay a market rent and all three owners are willing to keep the house and rent it out I imagine this is not going to happen.

    Remember that the new owners might have inheritance taxes to pay, debts they want to clear, not want to be landlords, not think it is worth the hassle.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,406 ✭✭✭PirateShampoo


    I couldn't imagine his children agreeing to this, especially with today's house prices.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,448 ✭✭✭RocketRaccoon


    I should have stated, there is nothing owed on the house. It has been standing empty for the last few months.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    His will read that the house was to be left to his 3 kids and sold.

    Leave them to it. Dont complicate matters. Respect your uncles wishes


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  • Registered Users Posts: 82,630 ✭✭✭✭Atlantic Dawn
    M


    You would be trespassing unless you made an agreement with his kids.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,611 ✭✭✭Mooooo


    I should have stated, there is nothing owed on the house. It has been standing empty for the last few months.

    There may be tax due by the beneficiaries so they may have to sell to pay it. Either way if you want to find out you will have to talk to your cousins, nobody here can tell you what they will say. Very unlikely you will be able to live there rent free


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,448 ✭✭✭RocketRaccoon


    You would be trespassing unless you made an agreement with his kids.

    The point of this thread was to ask if anyone had ever been in a similar situation. I'm not going to go to the house and claim squatters rights or anything like that 😁


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    If your uncle wanted you to have the house or a share of it, he’d have said so in his Will.

    As others have said, unless you’re willing to pay the going rate in rent, then don’t ask.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭evolving_doors


    Leave them to it. Dont complicate matters. Respect your uncles wishes

    No harm in putting in an offer though! Just be straight up and say you'd only go through with it if all 3 were in agreement.
    Presume the OP is going to pay something!
    If it's just a case of a free ride for 3 years then .... you can only ask, but will be forever known as the self entitled nephew with the brass neck if they refuse.


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    No harm in putting in an offer though! Just be straight up and say you'd only go through with it if all 3 were in agreement.
    Presume the OP is going to pay something!
    If it's just a case of a free ride for 3 years then .... you can only ask, but will be forever known as the self entitled nephew with the brass neck if they refuse.

    It’s not as simple as that
    It’s a very delicate matter, not the time for a brass neck
    The will is very clear, House is to be sold
    Other family members should not get involved


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,448 ✭✭✭RocketRaccoon


    It’s not as simple as that
    It’s a very delicate matter, not the time for a brass neck
    The will is very clear, House is to be sold
    Other family members should not get involved

    But the issue is, I know one of the kids will not want the house sold.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    But the issue is, I know one of the kids will not want the house sold.

    This is none of your business. It doesn’t matter what you know. Leave the kids to it


  • Registered Users Posts: 82,630 ✭✭✭✭Atlantic Dawn
    M


    But the issue is, I know one of the kids will not want the house sold.

    If they can buy out the others or the others all agree then it won't be sold, otherwise it will.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 849 ✭✭✭Tenigate


    Op, there's something a little off ... like where you say you've been the extra child, and you want to live in the dead man's family home.

    Are you willing to pay market rate? If so, approach the family to say you're interested in renting.
    Don't be surprised if they agree among each other to sell the house (they probably don't want to be landlords to you or anyone), or if one of them decides to sell their own house and move in.

    If you're not willing to pay rent, simply don't ask to move in. It's selfish and unreasonable.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,942 ✭✭✭Bigus


    It's very , very , simple, talk to the 3 children , not strangers on an Internet forum.
    What they think and you think will probably be miles apart , however approach the one who wants to keep it first.
    Good luck , but I think your original thoughts are extreme wishful thinking .


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Bigus wrote: »
    however approach the one who wants to keep it first.

    And this is how it begins.
    Divide and conquer


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,006 ✭✭✭✭dodzy


    The will reads split and sold. One is against this so I’m assumung the other 2 are for the sale. They’ll win out in the end. Leave it alone. I’m guessing you were hoping to get in there for a few hundred a month to allow you some breathing room with regard to savings? not gonna happen I’d wager.


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,942 ✭✭✭Bigus


    And this is how it begins.
    Divide and conquer

    It's called negotiation , what's your problem with him asking the parties involved ?
    He may well get a benefit from close family .


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,216 ✭✭✭marklazarcovic


    Buy the house off them , get a contract drawn up stating you will live there for say 3 years paying rent (I'm guessing your renting now,use that) and that you will have obtained a mortgage by then and will purchase it outright for a fee agreed beforehand. If not,they are free of obligation to your contract..

    Win win, unless they want a lump sum now.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 34,919 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    If you're not paying a market rent, then you're receiving a potentially taxable 'gift'. Messy.

    If you are paying a market rent, then where's the saving?

    The Dublin Airport cap is damaging the economy of Ireland as a whole, and must be scrapped forthwith.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Bigus wrote: »
    It's called negotiation , what's your problem with him asking the parties involved ?
    He may well get a benefit from close family .

    the Uncle had the foresight to make a will to keep things as simple as possible
    It’s a sensitive time and process
    The will should be respected
    Unless of course the op is willing to buy the house at market price

    Any Negotiations that involve 3 kids should not start by approaching one of them


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,952 ✭✭✭✭Stoner


    The point of this thread was to ask if anyone had ever been in a similar situation. I'm not going to go to the house and claim squatters rights or anything like that ðŸ˜

    The closest thing I can think of happens when a family member moves back home (son) when their marriage fails and the parent dies.

    My sister and husband moved into her husband's parent's house following selling their own and buying the others out at the market rate, they saved stamp duty at the time. They made everyone whole and kept the house in the family.

    I've never heard of your situation as you were not left a share of the house. It's possible that the one you spoke too was open to it because you approached him directly and he didn't want to say no, also he might know the others will say no so he could appear as the good guy.

    First thing that hit me on that was the 2/3 years, in their situation I'd imagine they'd think this could run on indefinitely.
    They might see it as a cheeky move so what's to stop them thinking you'll do something similar in 3 years. They'd need more than your word on that. For example if your situation changes in 3 years, you have a child etc will you just expect the deal to change too?

    Would you buy the place in 2/3 years?
    Would you make the deal recession proof for them by signing up that you'd buy it at today's rates (plus the interest they'd get in the back in 2/3 years, interest rates for money in the bank are very low now, so if they were due 100k you'd need to offer that money back to them too)

    If I was them I'd worry about a property crash that you might get to sit out and buy at the cheaper rate.

    At the end of the day all your visits didn't amount to being left a share, I'm not stating this to be harsh, I'm saying it as it's an indicator of your uncle's wishes, you were not included and your cousins know this. So it was their fathers decision not to include you, so in some way the decision is made for them.

    Do your cousins have kids? If they do they'll want the money for education funds or to help them buy a house, they'll want to help their kids before helping you I'd imagine.

    All in all it's hard to see this working for you unless you define your gain up front and frame an obligation/commitment in a contract.
    I know this is just social media, but TBH your reasoning sounds a little flippant at the moment imo if you made some of those points they might not sit well.

    I'm saying that it comes off as "you don't need it anyway" I'd think in their situation they might think you don't know what they need.

    So if you agreed to pay today's valuation within three years, by saving and getting a house. You'd get to sit out three years of potential increases and live rent free.

    So imo you'd need to recognise their loss, define your gain. Show how you'd make them whole within a time frame. You'd need to show and recognise all the upside on your part and demonstrate that you are aware that they are helping you. Show them that making them whole is your priority. Recognise the downside for them and don't try to minimize it for them.

    So I'm sorry for your lost BTW.

    They've lost a patent too. It's not a good time to make big decisions, they'll remember that too.

    Even if you make a good honest case I'd say the chances of this working out are slim unfortunately


  • Registered Users Posts: 31,080 ✭✭✭✭Lumen


    The fact that the OP thinks this is relevant:
    I was ridiculously close to him since birth, closer than to any of my immediate family. He built this house from the ground up basically bar the electrics and I spent most of my youth there aswell as visiting 4/5 times a week up until his death and would always have been considered his "extra" child. His will read that the house was to be left to his 3 kids and sold.

    ...is evidence of why these things tend to end in tears.

    Jealousy/resentment + grief + money = disaster.

    No good will come of this. At best you will become a pawn in other people's emotional game.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,027 ✭✭✭Lantus


    Just wait for sale and buy house? No need to talk to family.

    You have zero right to this house except for some nostalgic memories. And if you were close to these cousins you'd of spoken to them already.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Lumen wrote: »
    The fact that the OP thinks this is relevant:



    ...is evidence of why these things tend to end in tears.

    Jealousy/resentment + grief + money = disaster.

    No good will come of this. At best you will become a pawn in other people's emotional game.

    Mostly it's disappointment and despair.
    OP had an expectation (realistic or not) that he would be named in the will on an equal footing with his cousins, and is now clutching at straws.
    Approaching them now with a suggestion that because he was a very attendant nephew he should be allowed at least a period of rent free freehold in the family home will only go one way.
    Forget it OP and keep your dignity.


  • Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭BabyWillis


    Why not offer to buy the house on some sort of a rent to buy scheme where by you rent the house for two years and if your in a position to buy the house the rent from the previous two years goes towards the purchase price of the house. I seen this been done a few years ago through private developers so can’t see why it couldn’t be arranged.
    If your not in a position to buy then they sell the house and keep the rent you paid.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    You don’t say in your OP if you intend to buy your uncles house in 3 years, or just to live in it for 2-3 years so you can save up to buy another house.
    I’m assuming you would like to buy your uncles house, but aren’t yet in a position to do so. If this is the case, I would say you have nothing to lose by asking your 3 cousins- but you do need to offer to rent it from them for the interim, rather than living there for free.
    If everything in your OP is as you say it is, they might be happy to keep it in the family. I would be, and if I were financially comfortable and able to facilitate it, I would do. That said, they might be happier to see it gone, which you also need to be prepared for. My sister in law, for example rarely calls to her Home place, even though she has close family still living there, because it upsets her that both her parents are dead, and she ends up crying every time she crosses the threshold. I would say she would rather if she never had to call again.


    So basically, it all depends on a lot of variables! You need to just approach them and ask


  • Registered Users Posts: 961 ✭✭✭Green Peter


    I'd be a little concerned OP that you feel you are owed something from this house. You stated you were like a fourth child and now you seem to feel that you can use it to your benefit. I have as much standing in relation to this house as you have and I have none, that's the reality. If I were one of the 3 children I would be concerned how 2 or 3 years in the house might harden you feelings of being the fourth child and that it would be difficult to get you out. But Hey they say I'm paranoid!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 325 ✭✭tanit


    Hi there, I'm not sure if this is the right place for this but I'll hope it is.

    Basically my uncle passed away a few months ago, I was ridiculously close to him since birth, closer than to any of my immediate family. He built this house from the ground up basically bar the electrics and I spent most of my youth there aswell as visiting 4/5 times a week up until his death and would always have been considered his "extra" child. His will read that the house was to be left to his 3 kids and sold.

    My question is a simple one, I would love to move in for 2/3 years so myself and my wife can actually save for a mortgage for ourselves. Has anyone been in a situation like this before and if so, how did you approach it? Of his 3 kids, I know 1 of them will not want the house sold and would be very open to the idea i think as he knows how close I was to him. They all have their own houses so wouldn't need to move in themselves.

    Thanks in advance for any help.

    A friend of mine was in a similar situation in Spain. She was the one taking care of her grandparents and at some point she was even living them when they needed some career living in.

    When the grandparents and uncle living there died, the ones that were inheriting the house seem to have agreed something between them and she bought the house from them. One of the ones getting a share of the house was her mother. I didn't ask too much but my guess is that she got the house at a very reduced price as the house is in a very good location in my city (the equivalent to a not very expensive Dublin 2 towards 4).

    I'd talk with your uncle's children if one of them is already willing to go for an arrangement that will keep the house within the family the rest might also be willing. Just make a decent offer for the house, not just because of the house prices right now but to fend Revenue as they don't really like people exchanging things below market value and them losing on their tax money. They might even agree to give you some time to put together deposits and mortgage. It's a question of talking with them

    IHTH


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