How much to spend on a ring

fergus1001

Good evening gentlemen I'm wondering how much you spent on an engagement ring relative to your means

Basically were you on the big bucks and did you get a barn brack ring !

I have to put in place a savings plan for it !

Thanks in advance

Sleeper12

Most fellas will tell you it's a waste of money unless you have unlimited funds.

Cheap ring and put your money towards a house imo

mik_da_man

Depends on your available funds really.
The old 3 monthly salary thing was introduced by Tiffany I think, so ignore that.

Most importantly IMO is get something that She likes, cause she will be wearing it for the rest of her life.

fergus1001

mik_da_man wrote:

Most importantly IMO is get something that She likes, cause she will be wearing it for the rest of her life.

Am I daft in thinking an engagement ring and a wedding ring are two different things ?

fergus1001

Sleeper12 wrote:

Cheap ring and put your money towards a house imo

Post that in after hours and the women would burn you at the steak (reason I asked here)

Sleeper12

fergus1001 wrote:

Post that in after hours and the women would burn you at the steak (reason I asked here)

Point taken.

Wibbs

fergus1001 wrote: »

Am I daft in thinking an engagement ring and a wedding ring are two different things ?

Nope, cos they are.

neonsofa

fergus1001 wrote: »

Post that in after hours and the women would burn you at the steak (reason I asked here)

As a woman I would agree with his post.
More important to invest in your life together than a piece of jewellery. Many women I know would agree.
I am single though so what do I know :pac:

dr.fuzzenstein

fergus1001 wrote: »

Post that in after hours and the women would burn you at the steak (reason I asked here)

Would that be medium, rare or well done?

snowflaked

To be honest,

If you are buying a ring I'd imagine a few grand 3ish - is standard. This ring will become part of her and is an important symbol of your married lives! I'd be upset if I got a cheap ring which was not relative to means. Save for it. Ask her sister as regards style (confidentially of course). Think of how much you would spend on one holiday, a ring can be saved for

snowflaked

neonsofa wrote: »

As a woman I would agree with his post.
More important to invest in your life together than a piece of jewellery. Many women I know would agree.
I am single though so what do I know :pac:

A cheap ring would make you question their effort/ value on the relationship. Different story if there is basically no money for a ring , no means of saving. then the woman would be more understanding. I think saving for a ring shows a little bit more thought and love

whoopsadoodles

snowflaked wrote: »

To be honest,

If you are buying a ring I'd imagine a few grand 3ish - is standard. This ring will become part of her and is an important symbol of your married lives! I'd be upset if I got a cheap ring which was not relative to means. Save for it. Ask her sister as regards style (confidentially of course). Think of how much you would spend on one holiday, a ring can be saved for

Would you be willing to pay for the ring yourself then?

retro:electro

Spend what you can afford. If my boyfriend spent more than he could afford I'd think he was daft. There's really no need to go mad. You can get amazing rings for under €1000, even under €500.
I have a vintage ring and I couldn't even tell you what it cost, tbh, but it wasn't anything daft.
All I know is I love it.

snowflaked

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

Would you be willing to pay for the ring yourself then?

I don't think I would have a problem with that personally. I think traditionally, a lot of women may go along the lines of- this is a present from man to woman.I am sure a lot of men would not want their finances to pay for the ring.

BorneTobyWilde

Should be at least 35,000

Spend as much on a ring for her as she’ll spend on a wristwatch for you, not a cent/penny more.

snowflaked

snowflaked wrote: »

A cheap ring would make you question their effort/ value on the relationship.

Jesus, no it wouldn't.
If you think a relationship is all about what shiny expensive things you can get out of it, I really despair

retro:electro

snowflaked wrote: »

A cheap ring would make you question their effort/ value on the relationship. Different story if there is basically no money for a ring , no means of saving. then the woman would be more understanding. I think saving for a ring shows a little bit more thought and love

Maybe for you it would. But for me it would be the opposite. An expensive ring just for the sake of it being expensive would make me question whether he even knew me at all.

missmatty

We hadn't intended to spend much on a ring but I found the one I loved online and it was less expensive than it would have been in the shops, or than any of the ones we looked at when ring shopping. We were also saving for a house so I insisted on paying for a third of the cost myself as I had more savings than my fiance did. I would have paid half if he'd let me!

eezipc

My wife's ring cost only £109 about 7 years ago and she still loves it and me.... We didn't have alot of money at the time so it was quite a bit of money to us.

Sleeper12

eezipc wrote:

My wife's ring cost only £109 about 7 years ago and she still loves it and me.... We didn't have alot of money at the time so it was quite a bit of money to us.

Sounds like a level headed lady you have. Value shouldn't be important. It's a promissory ring and it's the promise behind the ring that's important & not the ring itself.

A_Sober_Paddy

So the bride gets an expensive ring, what those the groom get? Say a man pays 3k for engagement ring so the bride go buy him something?

El_Duderino 09

OP have you asked her what she actually wants? Lots of the conventions are built up and prevent people from having a chat about what they actually want rather than just feeling the have to follow the convention.

We chatted about it and decided on what we really wanted and prioritised our resources. She wore her grandmother's ring as an engagement ring and we set a budget of 500 between us for the rings. Found a local jeweler who makes custom rings and got rings to the budget. We arent fans of the diamond trade so just got gold for her and silver for me. We ended up getting rings that we really wanted and have a custom made design.

What I'm saying is that its really useful to chat with your partner about what you both really want. Following the convention is a really expensive option compared to figuring out what you really want.

The 3 months wages convention is a roundabout way of telling people how much the earn. It depends on whether that's important to you and your Mrs or not.

bee06

anna080 wrote: »

Maybe for you it would. But for me it would be the opposite. An expensive ring just for the sake of it being expensive would make me question whether he even knew me at all.

+1

I've been married over 3 years and don't know what my engagement ring cost and I don't particularly care either. What I do know is it wasn't stupid money because I would be very uncomfortable with that.

fergus1001

El_Duderino 09 wrote:

OP have you asked her what she actually wants? Lots of the conventions are built up and prevent people from having a chat about what they actually want rather than just feeling the have to follow the convention.

I wouldn't have that conversation with her, we have talked about the wedding a house that we are going to build ect but I would be a tad bit old fashioned and would like it to be a suprise moment for her

Just a note to everyone she never wears rings as they make her finger feel uncomfortable what would you think of being married and she doesn't wear the ring ?

fergus1001

dr.fuzzenstein wrote:

Would that be medium, rare or well done?

Ah it would be incineration , if you posted in other forums here you would be burnt alive for suggesting marriage in the first place

theteal

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Most fellas will tell you it's a waste of money unless you have unlimited funds.

Cheap ring and put your money towards a house imo

Extend that frame of mind to the wedding shindig too, crazy waste of money

neonsofa

snowflaked wrote: »

A cheap ring would make you question their effort/ value on the relationship. Different story if there is basically no money for a ring , no means of saving. then the woman would be more understanding. I think saving for a ring shows a little bit more thought and love

It may make YOU question their effort. Personally I think saving for our future would show how much he values our relationship long term.

bee06

fergus1001 wrote: »

I wouldn't have that conversation with her, we have talked about the wedding a house that we are going to build ect but I would be a tad bit old fashioned and would like it to be a suprise moment for her

Just a note to everyone she never wears rings as they make her finger feel uncomfortable what would you think of being married and she doesn't wear the ring ?

If you don't know if she would even want to wear a ring you would be foolish to buy and expensive one without talking to her. Propose with a token ring, charm bracelet, necklace whatever. The important thing is you are asking her to marry you, not the jewellery involved.

brokenarms

1000 quid.

Murt10

This whole thing about engagement rings is a myth (relatively) recently concocted by the marketing Dept of De Beers, the worlds largest diamond wholesalers

here is the story from the BBC

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-27371208

it would be interesting to ask the jeweler that sold you the ring, how much he would give you for it, if the relationship didn't work out, and you wanted to return it. A mere fraction of what you paid for it in the first place.

Some people may have an objection to a second hand diamond engagement ring. What happens if there is bad luck with it etc?

Again, if a jeweler takes a 2nd hand ring, takes the diamond out of it and remounts it in a new setting, is that a new ring? I guarantee that you will be charged for one.

Fools and their money etc

To be quite honest, I can't remember what I paid myself, but they threw in the wedding rings for nothing. We went into Mc Dowells on O'Connell St. Herself seen one ring she liked, tried it on. then decided to try on some more. We trudged around every feckin jewelers in Dublin after that, before finally coming back to Mc Dowells, and buying the 1st ring she tried on.

jonon9

Well your in luck the Halloween cakes are out and has a ring in it savings can be made :P

Sleeper12

theteal wrote:

Extend that frame of mind to the wedding shindig too, crazy waste of money

Totally agree with you. I'm betting there's plenty of couples behind on their mortgage regret the amount of money spent on the wedding. At least the ring can be sold if your finances go pear-shaped

VW 1

Personally I got a placeholder ring that will be upgraded when we can afford to do so.

Wedding will be a small family affair, ceremony at city Hall and dinner at a restaurant of our choosing.

Spent a week's wages on an antique ring for Christmas present a few years ago, I suppose I'd have spent a good deal more than that on an engagement ring if it had ever came up but I don't think it would have meant more to her than this one, she loves it.

Never bought an engagement ring as it happens- we never got engaged. We just got married.

Spent again about a week's wages on the wedding rings, most of which was on hers but we both were happy with our choices.

Stuff is as expensive as you make it.

LirW

Mine was like 250 quid or so, I absolutely love it. I'd question my partner's sense for money if he's spend a few grand on a ring and then we struggle getting a house deposit together.
I couldn't care less about the monetary value of a ring, hell, it's the ring he gave me when he asked me if I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
We pumped all our money into house therefore we'll have a registry office wedding without fuss.

I can't justify wearing a ring every day worth thousands in public, I can't justify spending thousands on a dress I'm only wearing for a few hours and so on.

I'll go so far and say that an expensive engagement ring when you don't have the means is literally the worst investment you can make and it doesn't mean a single bit more than a ring that costs a lot less.

eviltwin

fergus1001 wrote: »

Post that in after hours and the women would burn you at the steak (reason I asked here)

Not necessarily. When my husband and I decided to get married I told him I didn't want a ring. I felt the money would be better invested into something that would benefit the entire family rather than on something just for me. Not all women hark after the bit of bling and if you have a partner who does I'm sure she will want you to spend within your means, it's the thought that counts.

s15r330

Get it made.
I got one made for my now fiancé, paid €3,300 for it, same ring in a shop was near €7k, valued for insurance for €7k.

sReq | uTeK

You will get a great ring on blue Nile for 3 Grand.

I read for 8 months about diamonds. You would be hard pressed to notice the difference between an F and an I and the price is dramatic

OnDraught

fergus1001 wrote: »

Just a note to everyone she never wears rings as they make her finger feel uncomfortable what would you think of being married and she doesn't wear the ring ?

We’re getting married soon and we’re not wearing rings. We’re not very traditional and of all the traditions that go with being married wearing rings is the strangest.

Most lads wouldn’t wear a ring in a fit if they weren’t married.

byhookorbycrook

fergus1001 wrote: »

Post that in after hours and the women would burn you at the steak (reason I asked here)

Not this woman, I wanted something useful, like an Icelandic mare (whose cost would have with plenty to spare for a token ring) to breed from,I'd have had 20 foals from her by now instead of a ring sitting in a box somewhere.

Sleeper12

VW 1 wrote:

Personally I got a placeholder ring that will be upgraded when we can afford to do so.

I love this idea

Feisar

snowflaked wrote: »

I don't think I would have a problem with that personally. I think traditionally, a lot of women may go along the lines of- this is a present from man to woman.I am sure a lot of men would not want their finances to pay for the ring.

Yes but as I said to herself it is our (her) finances we are spending on the ring at the end of the day.

We spent €2,400 and I'm on €65K a year but I bought a house a year ago so that soaked up a lot of money.

michellie

Spend what you are comfortable spending.

I think since your girlfriend doesn't wear rings it might suit if she was to pick her own ring so she can try styles and see what she prefers or what's comfortable. (Unless a friend or relative knows exactly what she wants) if you were to go down this route you can definitely still have a lovely proposal with anything, token ring, some other jewellery, a jelly ring haha anything!

pilly

Murt10 wrote:

Some people may have an objection to a second hand diamond engagement ring. What happens if there is bad luck with it etc?

I got my ring in a pawn shop in the 80's for 100 pound and I loved it. It's now in the Blessington Lakes somewhere so thank god we didn't pay thousands!

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

pilly

On a serious note though OP, if she really doesn't like wearing rings then I wouldn't go buying one. I know it's a romantic gesture but if she doesn't like it she's really going to resent wearing it.

I don't particularly like wearing rings either but I can wear a ring that's flush with my finger, like an eternity ring. Maybe present her with a voucher saying "IOU one days ring shopping at a venue of your choice"

fergus1001

pilly wrote:

On a serious note though OP, if she really doesn't like wearing rings then I wouldn't go buying one. I know it's a romantic gesture but if she doesn't like it she's really going to resent wearing it.

So don't get married ?

eviltwin

fergus1001 wrote: »

So don't get married ?

You don't need an engagement ring or wedding rings to get married. If she doesn't like wearing jewellery then it might not be something you need to bother with.

ArthurG

I’m gobsmacked to read that anyone could possibly still consider spending several grand on a ring as important or indicative of the ‘amount of love they have for the relationship’ or however that earlier poster put it.

Me and my husband have a healthy joint income (and realise we are very lucky). When we got married 3 years ago we went to a shop in town and looked at the platinum wedding rings for a few thousand a go. We settled for palladium (I think that’s what it’s called) which cost less that 1,000 Euro for the two. You can’t tell the difference. Had there been any suggestion that I needed to spend multiples of that as ‘it’s a part of the person’ I probably would have had second thoughts about the whole thing.

zoe 3619

My engagement ring cost about 45 as i recall,and the wedding ring cost 60.Was delighted with both,and I really dont understand where the obligation to spend thousands comes from.
In an ideal world it would be about the feelings you have for each other and the marriage.Not about the money spent on rings or on the wedding.