How much to spend on a ring

Wibbs

Permabear wrote: »

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+1 on that. It's why even in my case looking like a middle aged cheap arsed hipster I have a couple of going on the lash/holiday wristwatches, rather than wear some of my more valuable ones.*








*yes, I have (way)more than one watch. I have a sickness. Feck off.

anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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How would someone know what the price of it was unless you leave the price tag hanging out if it?

Just because something is expensive does not mean it has to be huge or flashy.

Someone out a photo or of a lovely ring here and said it was 55 Euro. It was fairly big? How would someone in passing know that was 55 Euro or 10k?

anewme

Wibbs wrote: »

+1 on that. It's why even in my case looking like a middle aged cheap arsed hipster I have a couple of going on the lash/holiday wristwatches, rather than wear some of my more valuable ones.*








*yes, I have (way)more than one watch. I have a sickness. Feck off.

Most people I know do that with their watches and jewellery. Leave it home if heading away or out!

I've woken up many a morning to go, where's my watch ��

A 10k ring is not necessarily a rock the size of Mount Everest.

Should everyone wear rings out of Barn Bracks because otherwise it's not safe.

Should people feel safe with a 100 ring, a 200 ring? A 1000 ring. A 3000 ring? Just wondering at what point it starts getting unsafe?

Permabear

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Permabear

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anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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You've a poor opinion of your partners friends and your partner if you think like that.

retro:electro

Tbh I wouldn't have a clue just by looking at ring how much it cost. I've seen some cheap looking expensive rings and some beautiful looking ones on the cheaper end of things. In fact, often the dearer you go the tackier they can look. Would it really be a security risk to wear an expensive ring? Like how would you know just by looking at it? Unless someone was going around vocalising it or the price tag was hanging off I doubt most folk would have a clue

anewme

anna080 wrote: »

Tbh I wouldn't have a clue just by looking at ring how much it cost. I've seen some cheap looking expensive rings and some beautiful looking ones on the cheaper end of things. In fact, often the dearer you go the tackier they can look. Would it really be a security risk to wear an expensive ring? Like how would you know just by looking at it? Unless someone was going around vocalising it or the price tag was hanging off I doubt most folk would have a clue

Or be bothered.

That's my point exactly.

Permabear

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Permabear

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anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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You are insulting her intelligence that's she's going to disclose the colour clarity etc and as a result she would not be safe. And it reads like her friends are going to broadcast your business like the bush telegraph with a hotline to criminals.

Whether she gets a 10k ring or 100k ring, she does not have to explain herself to anyone. . If someone says to me, nice watch, or nice ring, was that expensive, I just smile and say, not really.

Like Anna said you can get a 20k ring and say it cost 20 Euro or a 20 euro ring and say it costs 20k. No one would know the difference unless you or she told them.

Permabear

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anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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I've read stories of Pensioners robbed on the way home from the post office with their poor old age pension.

Random robberies or mugging happen all the time. They dont
ask to see your watches or jewellery before mugging you.

A poor young London city worker was stabbed to death and the thief got away with an iPhone. You often hear if people being mugged for 20.

Anyway, we are dragging this thread off the topic, you don't think it's right for to spend 10k on an engagement ring, whereas I differ and think people should be allowed make their own decision in what is right for them and not be judged on it.

Most people don't behave like footballers or their wives or Kardashisns and publish their wealth in the sun.

retro:electro

Permabear wrote: »

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Sorry to hear that. But on the whole things like that tend to be more random opportunistic attacks that can happen to anyone wearing jewellery of any value, rather than pre planned attacks because the person is decked out in expensive diamonds

anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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You were talking about your own partner specifically when you said you would not feel safe with her walking around with a 10k ring and when I said who would know what price it was unless you(directed back at your comment on safety) leave the price tag on it, you said women disclose information and their friends may pass it on, do these things get out there, so it reads like you expect your partner to disclose the costs and her friends to pass it on, leaving her a target by having an expensive ring.

Permabear

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Permabear

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retro:electro

Permabear wrote: »

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I can certainly appreciate how you'd feel that way.
I suppose we all take considerations to minimise any threat to our safety. I hope that student is okay!

Permabear

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anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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Unless it is a Kardashisn type rock costing millions, no one knows the cost of anything unless you tell them. It could be a diamond or cut glass

peace of mind is important but I think you are reading too much into it. You are assuming that because people think you are wealthy, that an engagement ring will automatically be expensive. By that reckoning, whatever ring she gets will be a target because everyone will assume its expensive, even if it's not.
10k is not overly expensive for a ring. It would not make anyone stand out.

Neyite

Permabear wrote: »

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Yup, that was NOT staged at all. No siree... *whistles innocently*

Permabear

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anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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That's fair enough. You have to do what's best for you. Each to their own.

Your generic comment about women and their friends being no slouches in assessing rings and broadcasting costs is disrespectful and makes out like women are greedy brain dead idiots with no savvy who leave themselves as targets to be robbed

Wibbs

anewme wrote: »

Unless it is a Kardashisn type rock costing millions, no one knows the cost of anything unless you tell them. It could be a diamond or cut glass

Generally that's true alright. It depends on the social circles someone is in. Some would be more aware of what everything costs because that's how they transmit their place and status in such socially competitive circles. The example of the footballers wives being one. In that circle the expertise and ability to ascertain value on rings/jewellery/watches/cars/etc would be much higher than most. Some business settings would be similar. EG 99.999% of the time nobody notices any watch I'd wear, but I've been around some go getter business types at meetings and the like and my watch has been commented on and they knew values/rarity.

As for threat of theft? The average scumbag is like a magpie with little if any idea beyond the obvious of value. If it's gold with lots of pretty stones, or says Rolex on the dial that's what's seen as valuable.

KERSPLAT!

Permabear wrote: »

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If you both work for a hedge fund and make lots of money and all your friends know this, your partner could be wearing a ring from a kinder egg, friends and acquaintances will still think her ring was expensive. Going by your logic she'd be better off with no ring, or jewellery in general.

anewme

Wibbs wrote: »

Generally that's true alright. It depends on the social circles someone is in. Some would be more aware of what everything costs because that's how they transmit their place and status in such socially competitive circles. The example of the footballers wives being one. In that circle the expertise and ability to ascertain value on rings/jewellery/watches/cars/etc would be much higher than most. Some business settings would be similar. EG 99.999% of the time nobody notices any watch I'd wear, but I've been around some go getter business types at meetings and the like and my watch has been commented on and they knew values/rarity.

As for threat of theft? The average scumbag is like a magpie with little if any idea beyond the obvious of value. If it's gold with lots of pretty stones, or says Rolex on the dial that's what's seen as valuable.

Totally agree on that.

especially the Rolex. some cars would be similar. Or even handbags!

I went for an interview and when I started the job, the lady in HR told me she noticed my watch st the interview, because she's into her watches. I would notice a nice watch or expensive shoes or clothes, or even handbags, but would not immediately be notifying the local robbers.

The reality is though in an engagement ring, does not have an obvious label and more expensive stones can be smaller but better quality, so a magpie would be attracted to a gold ring(any ring) therefore if you are that worried about personal safety, don't get one at all.

jon1981

Ah so that's the reason for the so called gender pay gap ... so men can cover the "traditional" expenses ... engagement ring, eternity ring...etc

enfant terrible

SuperS54 wrote: »

Whole diamonds thing is BS, my wife's ring has a synthetic and no lay person would ever notice. We bought gold his and hers wedding rings and an engagement ring for well less than EU1000 in total, we also didn't get around to buying them until we were married near 2 years, simply not particularly important for us....If the rings and the cost are more important than the actual engagement an/or marriage then the relationship is questionable.

Where did you buy them?

anewme

anewme wrote: »

I see nothing wrong with spending 100, 500, 1,000 on a ring and likewise I see nothing wrong with spending 10k on a ring if you can afford it and that's what you are into.

I also don't think the man should stump up either, if a couple come to a joint decision, the ring should come out of joint finances.

jon1981 wrote: »

Ah so that's the reason for the so called gender pay gap ... so men can cover the "traditional" expenses ... engagement ring, eternity ring...etc

There's always one.

FutureGuy

Spent 62 euro on engagement ring and we always get a laugh when people comment on how shiny the stone is. Even a jeweller said it ��

Spent 650 each on wedding rings. We could have spent far less if we wanted to but we loved them. It depends on your wife-to-be I guess. I could have spent several thousands on a ring but the wife would have killed me!

I see people on Facebook who got engaged a few years back and he spent 6k on a ring and about 25k on a wedding because it was the thing to do. Same guy is now moaning and crying that he can't afford a deposit for a house and that the government are a shambles etc.

alchemist33

Before I proposed I knew she'd want to choose the ring herself, so I didn't get one beforehand. When we shopped for it, it cost about two weeks' take home pay. The relation to my wages is irrevelant though, as it should be related to our joint salary - we put everything into the same pot and are equally stingy!

anewme

FutureGuy wrote: »

Same guy is now moaning and crying that he can't afford a deposit for a house and that the government are a shambles etc.

The Government are a shambles bit made me laugh.

jennyhayes123

I'm not into big jewellery so didn't go mad when picking an engagement ring. I picked what I loved and wanted. I know too many girls that have big rocks on there hands but are married to assholes. It's more about appearances than how they treat there partner and for the women it's like an insurance.
I'm happier with my lovely husband with smaller ring that my friends with big rings and horrible husbands

jon1981

anewme wrote: »

There's always one.

Lighten up

anewme

jennyhayes123 wrote: »

I'm not into big jewellery so didn't go mad when picking an engagement ring. I picked what I loved and wanted. I know too many girls that have big rocks on there hands but are married to assholes. It's more about appearances than how they treat there partner and for the women it's like an insurance.
I'm happier with my lovely husband with smaller ring that my friends with big rings and horrible husbands

the key is to get what you want and can afford between you and what suits you.

I also know a lot of people with no rings who are caught up or married to assholes.

A small ring does not equal a good husband and likewise not everyone who can or wants to get something more expensive is an asshole.

jennyhayes123

anewme wrote:

I also know a lot of people with no rings who are caught up or married to assholes.

anewme wrote:

A small ring does not equal a good husband and likewise not everyone who can or wants to get something more expensive is an asshole.

No it doesn't. I'm just talking about some of my friends. I'm sure there are lovely people with big rings and lovely people with small rings.
I don't need a big ring to feel loved

Permabear

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anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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This can happen with anything, cars, phones, watches, houses, holidays.

It's certainly not unique to women.

Your original comment did not say "some women' it just said women (generic blanket comment)

Maybe what you are talking about a class thing. Certainly no one I know behaves like that.

I'm not going to stop driving because there are a few maniacs on the road. .

I'd be more worried about someone wrapping me up in cotton wool 'don't wear that, you might get mugged, don't drive there, you could crash'

If you were to worry all the time about stuff like this, you might as well stay indoors.

Maybe a common sense approach is better than scaremongering.

Must people (men and women) have a bit of common sense and can have something nice without having a rob me sign over their head.

Give 'women' a bit of credit.

Permabear

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KERSPLAT!

Why would you have a nice anything if you think it'll be robbed. Nice phone, house, car, anything? Nope, might get robbed. No way to live IMO.

Permabear

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anewme

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Why would you have a nice anything if you think it'll be robbed. Nice phone, house, car, anything? Nope, might get robbed. No way to live IMO.

Bloody miserable.

Be a long time dead...there's being safe and there's being ridiculous.

As long as both partners feel the same though I suppose that's the important.

Not everyone who can afford nice things is lax about their personal safety.

retro:electro

Sure just hire yourself a bodyguard to flank you while you flail about the place covered in daaaahmands

whoopsadoodles

What if I wear a giant cubic zirconia?

anewme

whoopsadoodles wrote: »

What if I wear a giant cubic zirconia?

Body guard definitely!

Wibbs

anewme wrote: »

If you were to worry all the time about stuff like this, you might as well stay indoors.

Maybe a common sense approach is better than scaremongering.

Very true, though it's of course contextual and this might be the difference in this case. PB lives in the US. As he's already noted some guy got shot and robbed locally enough to him. Ireland, while no crime free paradise is safer on this score. Certainly on gun crime. I might get some junkie trying to rob me, but the risk of being actually shot/killed is less. Plus American folks tend towards more crime/safety "paranoia" for the real want of a better word(and their media really amps this up). The notion of someone may be out to get me and my stuff is much higher in the national consciousness in my experience. Even within the US, I'd feel free and easy walking around say the Hamptons sporting a gold Rolex*, than I would in say South Central LA. Somewhere else like Rio De Janeiro I'd be dubious going out and about with a 10 quid Casio. Somewhere like Zurich I'd feel fine wearing a diamond studded waistcoat.




*would never wear a gold Rolex...

retro:electro

I bought this ring in a second hand jewellery shop in Galway. I'm led to believe it's real gold although I've no idea really, it could have fallen off the back of a truck for all my eye can tell. But it cost under €200 and just goes to show you can buy gorge bits if you look outside the realms of what is typical.

https://i.imgur.com/TxtYwST.jpg

I tend to like vintage style pieces so pre loved shops tend to be my places of choice.

EndaHonesty

After recently going through the process of buying an engagement ring, my opinion is this;

Diamonds are not the precious things we think they are.

They lose value like a new car. Try to sell one and you'll find out.

Buy the biggest/best diamond you can on James Allen.

Get it set as you like.

Collect it in the states to avoid VAT and retail margin.

Collect it in FedEx Hoboken to save 9% NYC sales tax.

Enjoy a holiday in NYC which is basically paid for by the above saved amounts.

Permabear

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anewme

Permabear wrote: »

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Wearing a ring in Ireland is not being cavalier or a legitimate risk in my opinion.

The question was asked above, what about wearing a cubic zirconia ring- is that a risk too? Or is wearing a watch a risk?

I kinda get it that America would be a bit different, depending on the location.