lodger and access to living room

mille100piedi

Every winter I take a lodger to stay in my house. I usually live with them one month but then I travel abroad for 3-4 months and I leave the lodger by himself in my property. I am having a problem with my current lodger because I informed her that I am going abroad (I told this to her in the past) but a friend of mine is coming to live in my bedroom. The lodger got very upset and said since I told her I was leaving for four months she was not expecting she would share the house with somebody else. She just pays for the room so I don't know why she is complaining. Anyway I am thinking in the future to lock the living room and my bedroom because I don't know what are the lodger's intention when I am not around. Will be reasonable to lock part of my house and deny the access to the lodger when I am not around? The lodger's bedroom is a good size with a double bed, desk chair, table and plenty of storage. The lodger has her own bathroom. The kitchen is well equipped. The house is decorated in a very unique way. And the rent is lower compared to similar rooms in the area. The lodger had invited several guests and her boyfriend is here every weekend. She never asked permission but for me was not a problem. I was thinking also to install the ring video doorbell to be aware who is coming in my house when I am not there. I had several lodgers and they were nice person, but now I don't know what they might do when I am not at my property.

LuckyLloyd

If you're so uncomfortable with the lodger that you feel it necessary to take these steps maybe you should consider terminating the arrangement with them and finding a different licensee?

mille100piedi

LuckyLloyd wrote: »

If you're so uncomfortable with the lodger that you feel it necessary to take these steps maybe you should consider terminating the arrangement with them and finding a different licensee?

my friend is coming to living in my place when I am abroad so I don't think there is going to be any problem with the current lodger, I am just trying to plan for the future lodgers

Tigger99

What you've described is completely ott.

Maybe your tenant was looking forward to having space to themselves and isn't thinking anything untoward. If I was moving in with someone and all of a sudden another person was being imposed on me I'd be pretty pissed off too.

Hibrasil

She is not sharing the house - she is in rent a room so to speak with access to the kitchen. You did not expect she would have guests staying over when you took her in never mind several others visiting if I get the picture. While you are away your house would be a very handy "hangout" for her friends - unfettered by the presence of the owner or anyone else if she get's her way. The additional arrogance / brazeness of complaining that she did not think she would be sharing (your house) with anyone else (especially a friend of yours) is good enough reason to review the arrangement and give notice to leave. Remember the conduct over the last while will most likely escalate when you are not there. Good luck !!

James 007

It depends if the other tenant was sold the room on the basis that you were going to be away for a lot of months of the year and the other tenant paid some kind of extra premium to this arrangement.

However in your case it seems that you have offered it at lower market rent value, and now she has got comfortable to the idea of living there on her own, has her boyfriend over, probably stays over all the time when you are not in the house etc.

She has seen a soft landlord, took advantage of you being away alot of the time and now wants to hold onto that advantage and not loose it. The very fact that she has friends over etc and didn't ask you the Owner, tells me she sees you as a soft touch. You say you did not see this as a problem, no, make it a problem and prevent it happening, take an inch, take a mile.

If your in the right area I would terminate her contract and start afresh with a new tenant. Put the necessary restrictions in place then.

mille100piedi

Tigger99 wrote: »

What you've described is completely ott.

Maybe your tenant was looking forward to having space to themselves and isn't thinking anything untoward. If I was moving in with someone and all of a sudden another person was being imposed on me I'd be pretty pissed off too.

she just pays the rent for one of room, we are not friends and she didn't know me before to come and living in my home. It is not the fact that there will be another person in my room but the fact that she will be not living by herself. She wanted to live by herself in my own house

Corkgirl18

If the lodger only rents the room there is no reason why you can't lock your own room and whatever else you don't want the lodger accessing.
Definitely sounds fair.

wally1990

mille100piedi wrote: »

she just pays the rent for one of room, we are not friends and she didn't know me before to come and living in my home. It is not the fact that there will be another person in my room but the fact that she will be not living by herself. She wanted to live by herself in my own house

Tough , it is not her house
It is your house
She rents a room from you
You can do what you want with the other rooms even when your away
She isn't entilited to have the house all to herself unless she is willing to pay for all rooms
Simple (it's your house and you can chose what to do)

mille100piedi

mille100piedi wrote: »

she just pays the rent for one of room, we are not friends and she didn't know me before to come and living in my home. It is not the fact that there will be another person in my room but the fact that she will be not living by herself. She wanted to live by herself in my own house

But if you told her that she would be living by herself, and then after she moved in dropped it on her that she in fact would not be living by herself, I can fully understand why she would be annoyed, to be fair.

mille100piedi

Hibrasil wrote: »

She is not sharing the house - she is in rent a room so to speak with access to the kitchen. You did not expect she would have guests staying over when you took her in never mind several others visiting if I get the picture. While you are away your house would be a very handy "hangout" for her friends - unfettered by the presence of the owner or anyone else if she get's her way. The additional arrogance / brazeness of complaining that she did not think she would be sharing (your house) with anyone else (especially a friend of yours) is good enough reason to review the arrangement and give notice to leave. Remember the conduct over the last while will most likely escalate when you are not there. Good luck !!

thank you, I am very disappointed because she seemed a very nice person. My friend will be living in my place and nothing bad will happen under her supervision

mille100piedi

Deleted User wrote: »

But if you told her that she would be living by herself, and then after she moved in dropped it on her that she in fact would not be living by herself, I can fully understand why she would be annoyed, to be fair.[/QUOTE

if she really wants to live by herself she could pays more money and get her own place I don't force her to stay here

mille100piedi

Deleted User wrote: »

But if you told her that she would be living by herself, and then after she moved in dropped it on her that she in fact would not be living by herself, I can fully understand why she would be annoyed, to be fair.

if you have a friend that needs a room and you have one available in your house you wouldn't offer your room to your friend just because the lodger is complaining?

mille100piedi

mille100piedi wrote: »

if you have a friend that needs a room and you have one available in your house you wouldn't offer your room to your friend just because the lodger is complaining?

I never commented on the situation, in fairness. Just that I can completely understand why the lodger is complaining (and I would, too).

Lead

mille100piedi wrote: »

if you have a friend that needs a room and you have one available in your house you wouldn't offer your room to your friend just because the lodger is complaining?

Did you tell her before she moved in the house would be free for a few months? Or did you tell her after she moved in?

mille100piedi

Corkgirl18 wrote: »

If the lodger only rents the room there is no reason why you can't lock your own room and whatever else you don't want the lodger accessing.
Definitely sounds fair.

I am definitely going to this for all the next lodgers

mille100piedi

Lead wrote: »

Did you tell her before she moved in the house would be free for a few months? Or did you tell her after she moved in?

I told her I will be abroad for 4 months before she move in

Lead

mille100piedi wrote: »

I told her I will be abroad for 4 months before she move in

That’s why she’s pissed off so. She thought she’d have the place to herself. I don’t think it’s fair to lock the sitting room but it’s fair to have whoever you like move in.

mille100piedi

mille100piedi wrote: »

I am definitely going to this for all the next lodgers

Just make sure you inform them well in advance.

Hibrasil

if she really wants to live by herself she could pays more money and get her own place I don't force her to stay here[/QUOTE]

Exactly, but - from a prudent point of view - a rent revision would not appear to be the right avenue to explore in the present situation. There are a lot of nice people who, when they get their feet under the table, change and become proverbial pains in the "posterior". I don't know what your timetable is - but the sooner you decide the better if your option is to terminate the present arrangement. While she may appear nice and may not do anything that would damage you house, she may not be in a position to control the conduct of visitors who see the house as a "free gaff". Weighing possible cost of damage against loss of rent - i know what I would select - have your friend "house sit" on her own and change the front door locks!!!!

mille100piedi

Deleted User wrote: »

Just make sure you inform them well in advance.

yes I will make very clear in the future so there will be not people disappointed

mille100piedi

Hibrasil wrote: »

if she really wants to live by herself she could pays more money and get her own place I don't force her to stay here

Exactly, but - from a prudent point of view - a rent revision would not appear to be the right avenue to explore in the present situation. There are a lot of nice people who, when they get their feet under the table, change and become proverbial pains in the "posterior". I don't know what your timetable is - but the sooner you decide the better if your option is to terminate the present arrangement. While she may appear nice and may not do anything that would damage you house, she may not be in a position to control the conduct of visitors who see the house as a "free gaff". Weighing possible cost of damage against loss of rent - i know what I would select - have your friend "house sit" on her own and change the front door locks!!!![/QUOTE]

maybe you are right, I am thinking to ask her to leave. I don't feel comfortable with her anymore

SwimFin

mille100piedi wrote: »

maybe you are right, I am thinking to ask her to leave. I don't feel comfortable with her anymore

Absolutely agree.
I have been in this situation, hindsight is 20/20. You will not regret your decision. The Licensee has illustrated by their behaviour that they are not an 'agreeable' tenant. The writings on the wall, already.

April 73

So when the tenant moved in they were told the LL would be absent for four months.
Now the LL wants to move their friend in while they are away (I'm guessing the friend & tenant don't know each other?), thinks the tenant is being unreasonable when they raise an objection, and then also thinks it it's ok to lock access to the sitting room for the tenant.

Sorry - but I think the tenant has been badly treated here. Why not clear the air & apologise for the change in arrangement during your absence & arrange for your friend & tenant to meet so they can decide if they want to share the space together?

Of course it is your house, your rules but that doesn't mean you can ignore someone else's expectations & feelings - especially when they are handing over money every month to live there. There should be a bit of give & take on both sides.

Hibrasil

April 73 wrote: »

. Why not clear the air & apologise for the change in arrangement during your absence & arrange for your friend & tenant to meet so they can decide if they want to share the space together?

The fact that the owner said they would be away at some future date has no bearing on the rental agreement - the lodger is renting a room with seperate bathroom facilities and possibly use of the kitchen - that arrangement did not include the lodgers boyfriend and friends occasionally "taking over the house" making it uncomfortable for the owner - the only apology to be issued is a simple "I'm sorry this isn't working out and I'd like you to move out by such and such a date"

mille100piedi

April 73 wrote: »

So when the tenant moved in they were told the LL would be absent for four months.
Now the LL wants to move their friend in while they are away (I'm guessing the friend & tenant don't know each other?), thinks the tenant is being unreasonable when they raise an objection, and then also thinks it it's ok to lock access to the sitting room for the tenant.

Sorry - but I think the tenant has been badly treated here. Why not clear the air & apologise for the change in arrangement during your absence & arrange for your friend & tenant to meet so they can decide if they want to share the space together?

Of course it is your house, your rules but that doesn't mean you can ignore someone else's expectations & feelings - especially when they are handing over money every month to live there. There should be a bit of give & take on both sides.

I understand she can be a bit upset, but from my point of view she was too upset for that situation, most of the people rent a room and live with people they don't know, and new people come and go all the time, this is very common. She was so upset that I started thinking that she wanted to sublet to a new tenant when I was abroad. At this point I really I do her a favour if I am going to ask her to leave, for sure she will find a better place for her needs. No point to be in a place if you are not happy, and for sure I don't want to have unhappy people around.
I actually was thinking the lodger would be happy to have some company, because my friend is a female, same nationality and same age. We meet and discuss all the three of us, but of course since we know she was happy not having anybody around her, me and my friend felt and we are still feeling a bit uncomfortable around her. We try to discuss and understand her point of view but my friend and I really don't understand her and we found she is a bit weird.

April 73

mille100piedi wrote: »

I understand she can be a bit upset, but from my point of view she was too upset for that situation, most of the people rent a room and live with people they don't know, and new people come and go all the time, this is very common. She was so upset that I started thinking that she wanted to sublet to a new tenant when I was abroad. At this point I really I do her a favour if I am going to ask her to leave, for sure she will find a better place for her needs. No point to be in a place if you are not happy, and for sure I don't want to have unhappy people around.
I actually was thinking the lodger would be happy to have some company, because my friend is a female, same nationality and same age. We meet and discuss all the three of us, but of course since we know she was happy not having anybody around her, me and my friend felt and we are still feeling a bit uncomfortable around her. We try to discuss and understand her point of view but my friend and I really don't understand her and we found she is a bit weird.

I didn't realise that you had all met to discuss it & she is still very unhappy with the situation.
Then you have to have the "do you want to stay or do you want to go" conversation? She either accepts the situation as it is now or she moves on or you have to ask her to go.
If you've tried to resolve it but it hasn't worked out then there aren't many options left.

rainbowtrout

This is still your primary residence and ultimately rent a room scheme for a shorter period of time.

If you decided to cut short your travels after two weeks and come home, what would she do then? It's your home, she doesn't get a say in how many bedrooms you rent out.

I'd also be concerned that if it's a place where she has her friends taking over the place on occasion, what is it going to be like when you are away? That's probably the bit she's not happy with, she doesn't want someone in the house keeping an eye on things.

mille100piedi

mille100piedi wrote: »

I understand she can be a bit upset, but from my point of view she was too upset for that situation, most of the people rent a room and live with people they don't know, and new people come and go all the time, this is very common. She was so upset that I started thinking that she wanted to sublet to a new tenant when I was abroad. At this point I really I do her a favour if I am going to ask her to leave, for sure she will find a better place for her needs. No point to be in a place if you are not happy, and for sure I don't want to have unhappy people around.
I actually was thinking the lodger would be happy to have some company, because my friend is a female, same nationality and same age. We meet and discuss all the three of us, but of course since we know she was happy not having anybody around her, me and my friend felt and we are still feeling a bit uncomfortable around her. We try to discuss and understand her point of view but my friend and I really don't understand her and we found she is a bit weird.

April 73 wrote: »

I didn't realise that you had all met to discuss it & she is still very unhappy with the situation.
Then you have to have the "do you want to stay or do you want to go" conversation? She either accepts the situation as it is now or she moves on or you have to ask her to go.
If you've tried to resolve it but it hasn't worked out then there aren't many options left.

yes we all discussed about this. I think the lodger now is embarrassed about what has happened and we are not having the nice conversations we use to have in the evenings, as a matter of fact now she spend most of the time in her bedroom. At the other end my friend feel the lodger has been unwelcoming and she doesn't feel comfortable around her. Since I am going to leave very soon I've just told the lodger that she can find another place because I am not going to change my mind and my friend is going to stay here. The lodger told me she will start looking for some other place. This was a stressful situation and next time I will make clear that I rent just a room with access to the kitchen, the rest of the house is off limits especially when I am abroad. I think many people don't know the difference between being a lodger and being a tenant.

737max

Is this a wind up?
The lodger is paying for accommodation and had inspected the landlord/landlady and decided they felt comfortable to live under a roof with them. The landlord/landlady now informs them that they will be moving in someone else temporarily who might be Harvey or Harriet Weinstein for all the lodger knows and the Landlord/Landlady can't understand why the lodger feels put out.
I hope the lodger finds somewhere where they feel more comfortable/safe soon and that the lodger doesn't have to pay for upkeep of this Landlord/Landlady's home while they are off swanning around over winter.

mille100piedi

737max wrote: »

Is this a wind up?
The lodger is paying for accommodation and had inspected the landlord/landlady and decided they felt comfortable to live under a roof with them. The landlord/landlady now informs them that they will be moving in someone else temporarily who might be Harvey or Harriet Weinstein for all the lodger knows and the Landlord/Landlady can't understand why the lodger feels put out.
I hope the lodger finds somewhere where they feel more comfortable/safe soon and that the lodger doesn't have to pay for upkeep of this Landlord/Landlady's home while they are off swanning around over winter.

she didn't chose the room because she fancied the landlord, she chose the room because she knew she was going to stay for 4 months by herself. If I have to come back to my home for some reason she would be upset in the same way