No recognition for babies born before 24 weeks.

irishman_abroad

Hi All,

We have recently gone through a terrible experience of losing our unborn son and because he did not match the definition of a stillbirth (A stillborn baby is a baby who is born dead after 24 completed weeks of pregnancy and weighs less than 500g) he was not recognised by the state.

This means in the state's eyes he did not exist and should future generations try to look him up would find nothing.

The reason I am posting here is to try and find out if anyone knows of any other countries around the world that do recognise babies in this situation. I know NSW in Australia have a form of recognition of early pregnancy loss:
http://www.bdm.nsw.gov.au/Pages/births/stillbirths.aspx

And have heard that Poland officially recognise babies from the time a sex can be ascertained.

If anyone has any information that they think would help please let me know either by posting here or if you prefer by PM.

What myself and my wife are trying to do is put a proposal together to present to the government to try and get a new recognition for these babies that were born too soon. We don't want the current laws changed as this seems to be an impossibility but rather have a new "Certificate of Life" brought in so that there will be at the very least, a recognition from the state.

I have attached a 1 page document with a basic outline of what we want and again any suggestions welcomed.

If anyone else has had a similar situation we found a lot of help from www.feileacain.ie.

Neyite

I'm very sorry for your loss. And it's awful the way bureaucracy has compounded your bereavement in this way. The only organisation that I can think of that might be of some use to your campaign is AIMS?

waterfaerie

I'm so sorry that you lost your little boy.

My husband and I lost our son at 25 weeks, so not long after the 24 week cut off. I can't imagine how awful it must be to have to deal with the lack of official recognition on top of everything you are going through.

We have found many people's attitudes to be quite upsetting in that most people don't want to know about him. It often feels like people think we should have got over it by now (2 years) or that it's something that's not to be talked about. Even extended family never mention him and, whenever we do, there is awkward silence. In a way, I sometimes find the lack of recognition of his life one of the hardest things. Having the official recognition of the state isn't much comfort but at least it is something and, as you say, future generations can see that he existed. To think that if he had been born just one week earlier we wouldn't have even been able to get a birth certificate for him is just so upsetting and I feel deeply for people in your position.

I've read your proposal and I think it's a wonderful idea. Well done for being so strong to take this on at this difficult time. If you wanted to start a petition or something I would gladly support you.

I'm glad you're finding help from féileacáin. They were great for us, too. I don't know if you already know about it but they have a birthday page on their website where you can enter his details. I know it doesn't help with the official recognition you want but there are lots of other things you can do as well to keep your son's memory alive for yourselves. He will always be part of your family no matter what.

irishman_abroad

Thanks for that waterfaerie, we found Feileacan hugely helpful and it really opened our eyes that there are people out there giving such valuable support that you know nothing about until you need them and then they are there for you.

If you would like you could PM me your email address and we will keep you up to date on where we are with the whole process.

We are consulting with Feileacan as well on this to get the best advice on how to proceed.

waterfaerie

Thanks. I sent you a PM. I hope you get somewhere with it.

appledrop

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please keep fighting your case + hopefully legislation will change. The 24 week rule seems very outdated nowadays when babies are surviving now from this timeline. It needs to be updated. Please have hope I really think the law could be changed if people fight for it. Just recently they have finally addressed the problem of maternity leave starting straight away for mothers of premature babies. I have had friends in mad situations with premature babies barely home from hospital +only 1 month left on paid leave. It has now been changed so people power can work!