Moving in girlfriend...

irishguy1983

to my house - been together a year...

It is my house and I have a mortgage - no one else here...

Looking to hear thoughts/stories...

Do people generally ask their OH to pay rent? Is there a standard out there? How do you work this out? Or maybe they just live their for free? Maybe that is the normal?

Do you look at current market rates?

I presume bills at least are halved?

I haven’t a clue so just looking for thoughts/ideas...

Paulw

It's a case of whatever works for you. There are no rules. It depends on your relationship, your finances, etc.

Contributions to food, bills, mortgage, etc ... it's down to you two discussing it and making your own arrangements.

Spanish Eyes

OP you should also think about the potential entitlement of GF to an interest in the property if things don't work out. Depending on her contributions to your house.

She will never be a house sharer or lodger given your relationship so that's out.

I don't know the answer to that one, but would be interested to know just the same.

Westernyelp

This is more appropriate to the relationships forum. It shouldn't be looked at as a business transaction imo

A_Sober_Paddy

Westernyelp wrote: »

This is more appropriate to the relationships forum. It shouldn't be looked at as a business transaction imo

Yes and no.

If the girlfriend starts to make contributions to the house, it needs to be clear what the money is for. If she pays towards the mortgage it can open up issues down the road if it goes to pot

Addle

Know her rights OP.
You can love someone and still protect yourself.
I'd get legal advice if I was in your position.
http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/redress_scheme_for_cohabiting_couples.html

DivingDuck

There are two sides to this: the personal side, and the legal side.

On the legal side, you need to consider your property rights. A rental contract does not mean she can't speak rights to your property if the relationship ends, since a partner cannot be your licensee or tenant in the traditional sense where they have no long-term ownership rights. Even if she did agree to pay rent, you're still a co-habiting couple as outlined by the link above, so this is something you need to factor into your decision when you're deciding whether or not to let her move in.

On the personal side, it depends on the couple. I can't imagine sharing a home with someone that only one of us owned; I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable, either as the owner or the "guest". You and your partner may feel differently, though. I don't think there's any set rule which applies to everyone, just be informed about potential legal vulnerability and make the decision that feels comfortable to you and which makes your partner comfortable, too.

Eric Cartman

DivingDuck wrote: »

There are two sides to this: the personal side, and the legal side.

On the legal side, you need to consider your property rights. A rental contract does not mean she can't speak rights to your property if the relationship ends, since a partner cannot be your licensee or tenant in the traditional sense where they have no long-term ownership rights. Even if she did agree to pay rent, you're still a co-habiting couple as outlined by the link above, so this is something you need to factor into your decision when you're deciding whether or not to let her move in.

On the personal side, it depends on the couple. I can't imagine sharing a home with someone that only one of us owned; I don't think I'd ever feel comfortable, either as the owner or the "guest". You and your partner may feel differently, though. I don't think there's any set rule which applies to everyone, just be informed about potential legal vulnerability and make the decision that feels comfortable to you and which makes your partner comfortable, too.

Christ, so bar getting a partner to buy half your gaf off you and pocketing the cash, theres no way to live with your partner and not lose if it goes sour ?

Spanish Eyes

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Christ, so bar getting a partner to buy half your gaf off you and pocketing the cash, theres no way to live with your partner and not lose if it goes sour ?

Just don't be the owner of the house in the first place, be that partner :P

It would appear that a partner sharing a property owned and mortgaged by the other partner may have some rights if they have contributed to the mortgage, or to refurbs like a new kitchen or extension or the likes.

I was in the UK for a few years and this was the result. Yep. So be careful out there folks.

Love is blind, but can cause endless hassle if things don't work out and that happens too even though you never think it will.

DivingDuck

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Christ, so bar getting a partner to buy half your gaf off you and pocketing the cash, theres no way to live with your partner and not lose if it goes sour ?

It's not just your house:

If you are a qualified cohabitant, you may apply for orders such as maintenance orders, property adjustment orders, and pension adjustment orders and related orders such as attachment of earnings orders.

Basically, if you're living with someone for more than five years, you might as well be married. They don't have an automatic right as in the case of a marriage, but they can seek them on all sorts of things.

If you're going to live with someone long-term, you'd want to be very confident in the future of your relationship.

badboyblast

Jaysus, roll with it....

Eric Cartman

considering this update, OP do not move your gf into your house, or if you do be ready to toss her out after 4.9 years.

gozunda

Let out your gaff and rent someplace together and go halves on costs 50/50

beefburrito

The last guy I know who moved his other half in ended up handing over 200,000 after 6 years...

She started paying half the mortgage,it went bad when she made a new "friend"

She went off with said friend.... after 4 year's...

He took her back,she still ended up having to buy her out....his inheritance out the window....

I know it doesn't happen to everyone,but myself having a farm and old estate and being single had a great think about it.....

In happy out single, have my son who's 18 im 42 and probably destined to enjoy the single life.

Not out of selfishness or fear, just because I roll better that way.

I have a loving external family,that's enough

James 007

I was going to suggest the same, this is the most sensible option, and then move in when you intend to marry etc.

Wesser

Half of the mortgage plus half of the bills

gmisk

I have been with my partner over 5 years living together for under 2. It is my house I am paying mortgage he pays well below market rent we split bills. I pay for all the home improvement things (house needed a lot of work and lived here for a year or so before he moved in) We are looking to buy together in next couple of years...honestly had no clue about 5 year rule but tbh in our case we will likely be getting married in next couple of years.

professore

Holy sh1t I had no idea this was the case.

Spanish Eyes

Moving in sounds great. But for whom at the end of the day? Sorry for being so pedantic, but you would probably spend more time on the phone about your house/car insurance.

Research it. And take the blinkers off.

It can go wrong, plan for that. If it goes great, no worries then. No shocks.

Spanish Eyes

Wesser wrote: »

Half of the mortgage plus half of the bills

Contributing to the mortgage can give the contributor an interest in the property. Big NO NO imo. Bills and maintenance charges 50/50 no problem.

Spanish Eyes

professore wrote: »

Holy sh1t I had no idea this was the case.

Well it is the case. After five years if your partner can prove s/he is or was dependent on you, it is going to happen. And remember that's two years if there is a child involved.

If they contribute to the mortgage, they are building up an interest in the property also. Regardless of the two/five year rule and dependance.

Be careful out there.

Eric Cartman

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Well it is the case. After five years if your partner can prove s/he is or was dependent on you, it is going to happen. And remember that's two years if there is a child involved.

If they contribute to the mortgage, they are building up an interest in the property also. Regardless of the two/five year rule and dependance.

Be careful out there.

Who decided to bring this in ? it just seems to me like somebody went "people aren't marrying anymore because they lose half their stuff, how can we still make that happen without a wedding"

Bob24

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Who decided to bring this in ? it just seems to me like somebody went "people aren't marrying anymore because they lose half their stuff, how can we still make that happen without a wedding"

Sounds a bit crazy indeed.


The very fact that people need to have a legal discussion on this forum to balance the risks and liabilities of letting their partner move in with them shows how overboard this stuff is. I mean ... as a side effect the OP might not let their partner move in even if they want to, or rent out their own property to rent another one just for the purpose of being covered.

A couple just deciding to move in together shouldn't have to face these questions ... obviously they don't want that kind commitment yet or they would get married.

Spanish Eyes

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Who decided to bring this in ? it just seems to me like somebody went "people aren't marrying anymore because they lose half their stuff, how can we still make that happen without a wedding"

It was brought in at the same time as the Civil Partnership Act.

For equality I believe at the time. Opposite sex couples did not have the same rights as same sex under the CPA. Nor could they enter into a Civil Partnership with all the protections that brought.

Hasn't changed AFAIK, because CPs do not have to get married even though they can now.

BEWARE!

Spanish Eyes

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/birth_family_relationships/problems_in_marriages_and_other_relationships/property_rights_and_the_breakdown_of_a_cohabiting_relationship.html

Spanish Eyes

Near enough 2,000 views for this topic. Good on you OP for starting it, but I think your questions did not envisage all this extra stuff either!

It is a hidden issue for many in the throes of love.

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DivingDuck

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That's what renting is, and we consider that acceptable.

IMO, where children are involved, this should absolutely be the case— it's completely unfair that some girl could quit work to raise their children, and then be turned out on the road some years later with no means to support herself or them.

That it applies where there are no children is insane to me; all of this should be handled by legal agreement and common sense, i.e., if you're contributing towards the mortgage but your partner won't put you on the deeds, they are treating you like a tenant, but if you get to live rent-free in someone's house for years, when the relationship ends, you don't deserve their property.

But opinions are irrelevant: the law is what it is, and all you can do is be aware of it and factor it into your decisions when you're making them.

Eric Cartman

DivingDuck wrote: »

That's what renting is, and we consider that acceptable.

IMO, where children are involved, this should absolutely be the case— it's completely unfair that some girl could quit work to raise their children, and then be turned out on the road some years later with no means to support herself or them.

That it applies where there are no children is insane to me; all of this should be handled by legal agreement and common sense, i.e., if you're contributing towards the mortgage but your partner won't put you on the deeds, they are treating you like a tenant, but if you get to live rent-free in someone's house for years, when the relationship ends, you don't deserve their property.

But opinions are irrelevant: the law is what it is, and all you can do is be aware of it and factor it into your decisions when you're making them.

+1

if no kids are involved then out on your ear you should go.
Ireland also seriously needs to recognise pre-nups and faulted divorce. Its a scary thought for a lot of people (mostly men) that picking the wrong partner can easily lose you half of your wealth / the family farm etc...

Spanish Eyes

....... wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Sorry but it was brought in for equality reasons.

The Civil Partnership Act meant that same sex couples would have more rights than opposite sex couples, so it had to be done at the same time, and rightly so.

Spanish Eyes

Depending on your committment to each other the best move is to NOT allow cohabitee to contribute to the mortgage surely?

Otherwise just get married and that's that sorted.