Do you check your partner's phone?

Billy86

Hector Bellend wrote: »

No. Its lady juice

Actually it's piss.

professore

Atlantic Dawn wrote: »

professore wrote: »

I know a married couple where the husband has to surrender his phone for random inspection at any time of the day or night. To the best of my knowledge he has never even hinted at cheating and is a loyal husband and father who works hard for his family. Then again who knows ... I did find out that her mother cheated with various men on her dad so maybe it's insecurity on her part?

Whats stopping him having a burner phone for his bit on thr side?

Maybe he does!

ForestFire

This poll tells me one thing, 3 times more men are willing to answer the question.

What are the rest of the women hiding. :-)

I think you will need to slip the results for men and women to get a proper result.

22% of women
19.8 % of men

So far in the poll, check there partners phone

professore

Estrellita wrote: »

professore wrote: »

I know a married couple where the husband has to surrender his phone for random inspection at any time of the day or night. To the best of my knowledge he has never even hinted at cheating and is a loyal husband and father who works hard for his family. Then again who knows ... I did find out that her mother cheated with various men on her dad so maybe it's insecurity on her part?

If that were in any way true, he has to tell her the success of their marriage hangs in the balance until she resolves her trust issues and must attend counseling. Whatever her Mother has done is not her husband's crimes. She has to sort out HER problems, and he needs to take his genitals out her handbag. That sounds like a prison sentence, not a marriage.

He actually seems happy enough with it, she is a control freak in other areas too so I don't think he has a gambling addiction or whatever. It's just the dynamic of their relationship. I think he'd panic now if she didn't check up on him constantly.

professore

ForestFire wrote: »

This poll tells me one think, 3 times more men are willing to answer the question.

What are the rest of the women hiding. :-)

I think you will need to slip the results for men and women to get a proper result.

They are too busy checking their partners phones!

KERSPLAT!

Nah, not for me. There's no relationship if there's no trust.

Bambi985

I’d never check a partner’s because frankly I couldn’t be arsed, I’m barely interested in my own phone let alone someone else’s. if I was that paranoid and suspicious about a fella that I felt justified in invading his privacy I’d rather breakup with him instead of making a muppet of myself by snooping around. Who wants to be in that kind of relationship like.

professore

It's interesting if you look online or social media it's all about controlling men but in my experience there are at least as many controlling women, yet you will struggle to see anything about it online.

whoopsadoodles

Nope and I actively look away if he's texting while beside me. The conversations he has with his friends are none of my business.

Buford T. Justice XIX

Interestingly, at this point in the poll, 20% of both sexes check their OHs phone.

If I didn't trust him then looking through his phone wouldn't change much apart from making me untrustworthy.

I've only ever answered his phone when he's asked me to, and vice versa. I've never looked through anyones phone and if he looked through mine for any reason, I'd find it hard to come back from. You either trust me or you don't.

eviltwin

No because I trust him. He never checks mine either.

professore

professore wrote: »

It's interesting if you look online or social media it's all about controlling men but in my experience there are at least as many controlling women, yet you will struggle to see anything about it online.

My perception would be the opposite. There's a few on this thread alone.

Vela

WTF, no. You're asking like it's the norm or something.

I wouldn't stay with someone I didn't trust. Nor with someone who didn't trust me. Plus, if you want to know something - just fecking ask. If you don't like or believe the answer - leave. People make life far too complicated for themselves.

Speedwell

My ex's phone went off while he was in the shower. I knew he was expecting an important call from work, so I asked him if it was OK for me to answer it. Yeah, he said, go ahead.

It turned out to be a text. "I really enjoyed our time together after the fetish group meeting a few months ago. I'm moving out of town and would really like to meet for coffee or something." Nobody I knew.

Part of the agreement we made to try to resolve this (because I really did try to resolve things) was that I was to be allowed to check his phone if I wanted to. I didn't do it more than twice or three times; I felt sh!tty about it. He really never did regain my trust after that; it was a combination of things... staying out, telling me I should go for a weekend "by myself", and so forth.

everlast75

I've a mate of mine whose wife is on his voicemail message

"Hi - you've reached *****'s mobile phone. Please leave a message etc"

Morto for him

leggo

professore wrote: »

It's interesting if you look online or social media it's all about controlling men but in my experience there are at least as many controlling women, yet you will struggle to see anything about it online.

Controlling is such a subjective term that it's irrational to compare it by gender. Instead of controlling men vs controlling women, there's just controlling people vs not controlling people. The only kind of gender debate you could have on it, if you absolutely had to, is to discuss methods men may use versus women, but even then you'd be leaning on some pretty heavy generalisations.

r93kaey5p2izun

Never have, never would. It would be a deal breaker for me if I discovered anyone checked my phone or if I ever felt the need to check someone else's. I also wouldn't trust someone even as a colleague or acquaintance if I knew they checked somebody's phone without permission.

mojesius

No. If I had to spy on him I'd ask myself why I married him.

I know someone who not only did the phone checking, but tracked her (now ex) boyfriend via some app so she could see his whereabouts if he was out alone. Odd relationship

AndrewJRenko

everlast75 wrote: »

I've a mate of mine whose wife is on his voicemail message

"Hi - you've reached *****'s mobile phone. Please leave a message etc"

Morto for him

Some people just don't like the sound of their own voice, and are a bit paranoid about recording it.

retro:electro

Nope and it would never even enter my head to do so.
I don't think I'd care if I caught him looking at my phone though. There's nothing there to see and sure can't we all be nosy at times.

donegaLroad

everlast75 wrote: »

I've a mate of mine whose wife is on his voicemail message

"Hi - you've reached *****'s mobile phone. Please leave a message etc"

Morto for him

thats like something from the film 'Misery'

professore

Candie wrote: »

professore wrote: »

It's interesting if you look online or social media it's all about controlling men but in my experience there are at least as many controlling women, yet you will struggle to see anything about it online.

My perception would be the opposite. There's a few on this thread alone.

Try googling "controlling partner". Most of the hits I get are either controlling husband or boyfriend with the odd gender neutral one thrown in. Maybe you get something completely different.

professore

leggo wrote: »

professore wrote: »

It's interesting if you look online or social media it's all about controlling men but in my experience there are at least as many controlling women, yet you will struggle to see anything about it online.

Controlling is such a subjective term that it's irrational to compare it by gender. Instead of controlling men vs controlling women, there's just controlling people vs not controlling people. The only kind of gender debate you could have on it, if you absolutely had to, is to discuss methods men may use versus women, but even then you'd be leaning on some pretty heavy generalisations.

I agree, that's why I thought it interesting that online articles and blogs are mostly gendered. The only exceptions are fringe groups like men's rights activists type sites. But I am dragging this thread off topic.

leggo

What I'd say that likely suggests is that perhaps women are more likely to talk about this kinda stuff than men, perhaps pertaining to shame on the behalf of of men in admitting it. So more than it being a case of men being persecuted as the villains, maybe the fault lies on our gender's side for either not speaking up or not creating a safe, hospitable environment for men to admit as much.

I've been with controlling women before, and known them either personally or through knowing their partners. It's definitely a thing.