Co-worker is a dirtbag

Nasal Violation

I work in a pretty small office - there's 5 of us in a 5 metre by 5 metre room. We have a small fridge in the room to keep water / lunch etc in to save us having to go up and down to the kitchen throughout the day.

My co-worker, who is obviously some sort of maniac, steams a huge batch of cauliflower on a Sunday night and then bags it up and brings it in with him on a Monday and leaves it in the fridge to eat throughout the week.

Now the smell on a Monday is pretty bad as it is but by the time it gets to Thursday or Friday it smells like an old wet football boot that's been stuck in a pig's a$$ for a few months. He opens the bag about four or five times a day and eats the cold cauliflower in front of us like this is somehow fuc.king normal.

There are some weeks he will change it up and swap his cauliflower for brussels sprouts.....this is not any more pleasant.

Does anyone in your office do anything ridiculous like this, how do you cope? I don't want to throw his food out, we all know what happened to Ross when someone ate Monica's Moist Maker.

lonewolf1961

Pee in the bag he want bring anymore food into the office

newport2

Out of interest, how did you get the opportunity to smell an old wet football boot that's been stuck in a pig's a$$ for a few months for your comparison?

pilly

Story was almost believable until you brought the sprouts into it. Go on outta that.

HandsomeBob

We have a rule in work; no stanking shat can be kept or eaten on the floor. Easy solution is to stop being lazy so and sos and get rid of the fridge.

Nasal Violation

newport2 wrote: »

Out of interest, how did you get the opportunity to smell an old wet football boot that's been stuck in a pig's a$$ for a few months for your comparison?

I played football growing up.

I lived next to a farm.

There wasn't much to doing with my time.

Nasal Violation

pilly wrote: »

Story was almost believable until you brought the sprouts into it. Go on outta that.

It started with sprouts for the first few weeks, it has gone into cauliflower for the last couple of months.

I wish I was joking..........I really do.

FTA69

"Alright mate, I just wanted to have a chat with you about the cauliflour; I'm not telling you what to do or anything, but a few of us were saying the smell is starting to cause a bother. I thought I'd say it to you direct altogether rather than people moaning about it behind your back and whatnot"

Honestly; if people would just have things out in the open instead of moaning and seething like a load of slighted teenagers offices wouldn't be such sh*t places to work.

Foxhound38

Put an air freshener in there and see if he gets the picture.

howamidifferent

How do his farts smell OP? :pac:

Car99

Bring in a bag of norwegian fremented herring then the smell of cauliflower wont be bothering you all.

gerrybbadd

Leave some bread at home to get moldy.

Take some of the mold with you on a Monday morning, and put it into his cauliflower bag discreetly.

silverharp

garlic is your friend, just start eating it raw, he may call a truce

pilly

If you are serious though OP I'd be all for getting rid of the fridge. The kitchen can't be that far away.

flaneur

I made myself a lovely cup of tea in an office I worked in and discovered stringy stuff in it.
I gave the kettle a rinse out and tried again. This kept happening and we were looking into getting plumbers to investigate.

Eventually we discovered one of my colleagues was using it to boil eggs for their sandwiches !!!!!

HandsomeBob

FTA69 wrote: »

"Alright mate, I just wanted to have a chat with you about the cauliflour; I'm not telling you what to do or anything, but a few of us were saying the smell is starting to cause a bother. I thought I'd say it to you direct altogether rather than people moaning about it behind your back and whatnot"

Honestly; if people would just have things out in the open instead of moaning and seething like a load of slighted teenagers offices wouldn't be such sh*t places to work.

If people really told co-workers what they thought of each other then offices would be unbearable as well. There's a food chain for a reason and in most cases, it's best to kick issues up the ladder.

Nasal Violation

FTA69 wrote: »

"Alright mate, I just wanted to have a chat with you about the cauliflour; I'm not telling you what to do or anything, but a few of us were saying the smell is starting to cause a bother. I thought I'd say it to you direct altogether rather than people moaning about it behind your back and whatnot"

Honestly; if people would just have things out in the open instead of moaning and seething like a load of slighted teenagers offices wouldn't be such sh*t places to work.

HandsomeBob wrote: »

If people really told co-workers what they thought of each other then offices would be unbearable as well. There's a food chain for a reason and in most cases, it's best to kick issues up the ladder.

I have told him.

I've sent him the link to this thread.

FTA69

HandsomeBob wrote: »

If people really told co-workers what they thought of each other then offices would be unbearable as well. There's a food chain for a reason and in most cases, it's best to kick issues up the ladder.

Kick stuff up the ladder? Yeah in some cases maybe, but if you're going to the manager or the boss and ratting him out over some cauliflour instead of saying it direct then you're causing an even bigger sh*tstorm.

And complaining him to the higher ups about something so trivial is pure low carry on.

jimmycrackcorm

Buy a van of air freshener. Spray around when he gets the stinky food.

Wabbit Ears

We had some people from another office move to ours. In their office they were used to eating at their desks. When they started that here they were told to fcuk off and eat in the canteen in no uncertian terms. Leeway is given for sandwiches or non smelly stuff but anything that smells, esp hot food, is nipped in the proverbial bud quick smart.

So, You know, Just tell yer man his food smells and to fcuk off with himself. Its really not that difficult.

FTA69

FTA69 wrote: »

"Alright mate, I just wanted to have a chat with you about the cauliflour; I'm not telling you what to do or anything, but a few of us were saying the smell is starting to cause a bother. I thought I'd say it to you direct altogether rather than people moaning about it behind your back and whatnot"

Honestly; if people would just have things out in the open instead of moaning and seething like a load of slighted teenagers offices wouldn't be such sh*t places to work.

It's so silly, moan to friends, run to AH...the amount of backbone needed to say to someone "your food smells" is surely miniscule. It's not offensive, it's not upsetting, it's not personal.

lawred2

Is it even edible at the end of the week?

And is that all he eats?

Steamed cauliflower?

gerrybbadd

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Buy a van of air freshener. Spray around when he gets the stinky food.

Surely a van load is a bit excessive?

What you could also do is buy a hat, and tie those air freshener trees to it, like the Aussies do with corks. Encourage your co - workers to do the same.

Once he starts reaching for the cauli - pull out your hats, and put them on in an obvious manner

lawred2

just horse the bloody thing in the bin after the first day

Nasal Violation

Deleted User wrote: »

It's so silly, moan to friends, run to AH...the amount of backbone needed to say to someone "your food smells" is surely miniscule. It's not offensive, it's not upsetting, it's not personal.

This thread is purely so he can see the thoughts of others. We've all told him, he's a certain kind of special but we love him like he was our own mistake.

Peatys

Someone needs to lose the fridge

jamesbere

Fart in his face

Oldtree

Find somthing he can't stand the smell of and go from there.

Teyla Emmagan

I would just throw it out for him. On the Monday.

HandsomeBob

FTA69 wrote: »

Kick stuff up the ladder? Yeah in some cases maybe, but if you're going to the manager or the boss and ratting him out over some cauliflour instead of saying it direct then you're causing an even bigger sh*tstorm.

And complaining him to the higher ups about something so trivial is pure low carry on.

Not cauliflower, as I said just get rid of the fridge.

I'm talking about the type of person who will always have an excuse for something even when questioned. The type of person who knows as well that most people are too well mannered to let something escalate into a full blown shouting match on the floor.

That's the type of scenario that should be kicked up the ladder. Even then, wouldn't hold my breath on any action there either. Management, or a lot of at least, are averse to "hassle" and prefer a team full of people in misery than actually dealing with the root cause of the conflict.

lawred2

Getting rid of the fridge is a ridiculous suggestion. That will piss off far more people than neccesary.

Best thing to do is horse it in the bin on Monday evening. When he asks what the story is - just say that something smelled off/gone bad in the fridge and you chucked it in the bin.

If they respond with - "that's how it normally smells"

then you just curl your lip up and say - "really!? it smelled pretty bad to be honest"

whoopsadoodles

Tampons up the nose is always the answer.


What was the question again?

Widdershins

Burn the office down.

Red_Wake

I was hoping this would be a thread about office perverts

pilly

Nasal Violation wrote: »

This thread is purely so he can see the thoughts of others. We've all told him, he's a certain kind of special but we love him like he was our own mistake.

Is he the boss? If he is I think you're kind of in trouble.

Rory28

You may need to challenge him to an office duel. Wheely chairs will be ruined. Staplers will be emptied. There will be chaos but should you win you get his fridge space as per the shared office agreement 2007.

You got this OP!

suicide_circus

Steamed veg as a snack seems very healthy

uch

flaneur wrote: »

I made myself a lovely cup of tea in an office I worked in and discovered stringy stuff in it.
I gave the kettle a rinse out and tried again. This kept happening and we were looking into getting plumbers to investigate.

Eventually we discovered one of my colleagues was using it to boil eggs for their sandwiches !!!!!

Steve is that you ?

I got caught doing this once and nearly got battered,

pilly

uch wrote: »

Steve is that you ?

I got caught doing this once and nearly got battered,

You boiled your eggs in a kettle??

You disgusting animal.

darkdubh

Nasal Violation wrote: »

I work in a pretty small office - there's 5 of us in a 5 metre by 5 metre room. We have a small fridge in the room to keep water / lunch etc in to save us having to go up and down to the kitchen throughout the day.

My co-worker, who is obviously some sort of maniac, steams a huge batch of cauliflower on a Sunday night and then bags it up and brings it in with him on a Monday and leaves it in the fridge to eat throughout the week.

Now the smell on a Monday is pretty bad as it is but by the time it gets to Thursday or Friday it smells like an old wet football boot that's been stuck in a pig's a$$ for a few months. He opens the bag about four or five times a day and eats the cold cauliflower in front of us like this is somehow fuc.king normal.

There are some weeks he will change it up and swap his cauliflower for brussels sprouts.....this is not any more pleasant.

Does anyone in your office do anything ridiculous like this, how do you cope? I don't want to throw his food out, we all know what happened to Ross when someone ate Monica's Moist Maker.

Eh, no not all of us. Some of us didn't watch Friends.

ooter

Jaysus I feel guilty now having just polished off a big bowl of steamed carrots, cauliflower, Broccoli and leeks. And boiled eggs and blue cheese, not sure about the smell but it tasted bleedin great.

corner of hells

uch wrote: »

flaneur wrote: »

I made myself a lovely cup of tea in an office I worked in and discovered stringy stuff in it.
I gave the kettle a rinse out and tried again. This kept happening and we were looking into getting plumbers to investigate.

Eventually we discovered one of my colleagues was using it to boil eggs for their sandwiches !!!!!

Steve is that you ?

I got caught doing this once and nearly got battered,

No way , we caught an apprentice boiling eggs in our burco years ago .
He got the bollix kicked out of him.
He also did burn down his house too.

SuperSean11

Boiling eggs in a kettle, genius:D

Kimbot

darkdubh wrote: »

Eh, no not all of us. Some of us didn't watch Friends.

How did you know its from friends? :P

1874

corner of hells wrote: »

No way , we caught an apprentice boiling eggs in our burco years ago .
He got the bollix kicked out of him.
He also did burn down his house too.

I was sure I hadnt heard it all yet, so what does cloacal flavoured tea taste like?
besides eggs, Im assuming its rank, I cant imagine dipping my digestives in that

SuperSean11 wrote: »

Boiling eggs in a kettle, genius:D

If Im getting this right, wouldnt the eggs be more blanched, unless of course you mean he dropped the whole egg in, Id imagined the person that brought it up meant they cracked them open, hence the stringy stuff.

I could imagine that cauliflower being fired off yer mans head in some places or at least out an open window.

uch

1874 wrote: »

I was sure I hadnt heard it all yet, so what does cloacal flavoured tea taste like?
besides eggs, Im assuming its rank, I cant imagine dipping my digestives in that



If Im getting this right, wouldnt the eggs be more blanched, unless of course you mean he dropped the whole egg in, Id imagined the person that brought it up meant they cracked them open, hence the stringy stuff.

I could imagine that cauliflower being fired off yer mans head in some places or at least out an open window.

Nah, drop whole egg in shell in, problem was when kettle was boiling the eggs hopped about a bit and the odd crack appears

Cee-Jay-Cee

I had a similar situation about 10 years ago, co worker steamed cauliflower cabbage sprouts potatoes peas and carrots every single fücking day of the week for his dinner. The smell in the entire building was hideous. I was going on a weeks leave one week and the smell in the kitchen and rest of the building was lethal. I had enough so as I left (I was finishing early that day) I took the communal steam cooker along with all his vegetables in it and put it in a black bin liner and brought it outside and put it in the bin.

I returned the following week and he asked if I knew what happened it, of course I denied all knowledge of it. He then asked if I’d contribute towards buying a new steam/pressure cooker and I said I wouldn’t as I never used it. No one else would contribute either and he was so fücking miserable he wouldn’t pay for one on his own so he started steaming his dinner at home and bringing it in and heating it in the microwave which didn’t rise as much of a stink as the cooker did.

Result.

corner of hells

1874 wrote: »

corner of hells wrote: »

No way , we caught an apprentice boiling eggs in our burco years ago .
He got the bollix kicked out of him.
He also did burn down his house too.

I was sure I hadnt heard it all yet, so what does cloacal flavoured tea taste like?
besides eggs, Im assuming its rank, I cant imagine dipping my digestives in that

SuperSean11 wrote: »

Boiling eggs in a kettle, genius:D

If Im getting this right, wouldnt the eggs be more blanched, unless of course you mean he dropped the whole egg in, Id imagined the person that brought it up meant they cracked them open, hence the stringy stuff.

I could imagine that cauliflower being fired off yer mans head in some places or at least out an open window.

The tea tastes terrible, we thought he had been filling the burco from a bogey water source.
It was a long time ago , however his nickname was Croatia because he looked like one of the starved prisoners in the camps during the Balkan conflict.

1874

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I had a similar situation about 10 years ago, co worker steamed cauliflower cabbage sprouts potatoes peas and carrots every single fücking day of the week for his dinner. The smell in the entire building was hideous. I was going on a weeks leave one week and the smell in the kitchen and rest of the building was lethal. I had enough so as I left (I was finishing early that day) I took the communal steam cooker along with all his vegetables in it and put it in a black bin liner and brought it outside and put it in the bin.

I returned the following week and he asked if I knew what happened it, of course I denied all knowledge of it. He then asked if I’d contribute towards buying a new steam/pressure cooker and I said I wouldn’t as I never used it. No one else would contribute either and he was so fücking miserable he wouldn’t pay for one on his own so he started steaming his dinner at home and bringing it in and heating it in the microwave which didn’t rise as much of a stink as the cooker did.

Result.

He cooked his dinner in work? wow

Car99

https://youtu.be/wmu7bHj81WI good for a laugh

Peatys

darkdubh wrote: »

Eh, no not all of us. Some of us didn't watch Friends.

How do you know it's a Frieda reference?