Toddler bedtime problems!

joanene

Hi I hope to get some advice about by 2 and a half year old ds.
He has always been a pretty good sleeper. Never any issues going to bed. We could always just put him into his cot with teddy and dodie, say goodnight and leave the room....no problems.

5 weeks ago we decided to get rid of his dodie. He only had it for sleep time. We Also decided to move him to a bed. We made a big deal, bought him new teddy etc and he was delighted. We cut a hole in dodie and showed him and told him it was broken and had to put it in bin. He seemed to just accept it and fell asleep no bother. We were shocked. He slept really well every night for a week in new bed with no dodie.
And after one week everything changed. He suddenly became very very upset at bedtime when we tried to leave room. He also discovered he could get out of the bed. So he would just follow us out of the room and cry and cry.
The only way he would settle was for us to sit/lie on his bed til he fell asleep. He then would wake 2/3 times a night screaming cos we are not in room.
He usually ends up in the bed with us cos he just won't settle.

We have tried 2 nights of letting him cry. Night one he stayed crying until midnight and until 11am next night.
We do not know what to do. It's like he's afraid but then I don't want to spoil him. His older brother is a greatg sleeper as was this little guy so we can't understand the sudden change.

He has also become extremely clingy during the day, upset when I leave him at creche. Cries when I go upstairs without him etc.

Any advice?
Keep being tough or ride it out by staying in his room?

Thanks in advance!

Neyite

Maybe two big changes all at once was too much?

I'm not sure - we had a poor sleeper who is still a poor sleeper and comes into our bed in the middle of the night, and he's 5.5. So I can't really advise because we just went with the easy option.

bp

This was a few years ago but what we did was first few nights sitting beside bed until she fell asleep, saying shhh sleep time and rubbing head intermittently, then sitting across the room (in eye line) saying shhh sleep time, going to rub as necessary, then bedroom door (as above), then hall (wandering in and out as necessary). It took about a month to take properly but now sleeping through all night and if she did wake a simple shhh from bed room door worked and we went back to bed. It is hard but you have to be consistent about not letting into your bed (if you dont want them there)

shesty

I agree.Or at least be consistent about returning him to his own bed.If you want you could consider getting him a gro clock or equivalent to help with that- it might help, he could visually see what is night time and time to stay in bed and asleep?obviously you still have to enforce it but it would give him an indication.

joanene

Thanks for replies.
We do feel now that we did too much together. It's what we did with our older boy and he was fine with the change.
We bought him a new night light too that plays music but it didn't help.
I actually don't mind too much if he comes into our bed during the night, I know it won't be for ever.
It's putting him to bed is the hardest. We have tried the gradual moving away from his bed out into hall but as soon as we are not in same room as him he's hysterical.
We have him in bed at 8ish and it's nearly always after 10 before he sttles...he keeps waking when we leave the room.
I just wonder by staying with him while he sleeps are we ever going to be able to stop that

shesty

Maybe tell him you are going to tuck him in and go out on the landing, because you have some work to do, but you are right there outside the door?
I don"t know if it will solve it straight away, but it might be better than sneaking out and for a while maybe hang around and do a bit of cleaning or something right where he can hear you...

mirrorwall14

We couldn’t do sneak out and had to gradually remove ourselves. At first that was literally sitting out of sight in the room and verbally reassuring him every time (we were absolutely consistent on returning him to the bed every single time he got out-try giving him the choice of climbing in or being lifted). Then gradually moved to landing, then to the other room

pwurple

I think that’s possibly normal. Both mine did it around that age anyway, so i hope so!

We went with lots of reassurance, loads of hugs and encouragement and waiting there holding hands until asleep.

Now, here is the completely useless part. My first stopped doing it when her sister started sleeping in her room.
The younger one stopped after about 8 weeks, when we persuaded her that having her sister in her room was just as good as one of us.

LegacyUser

Hi joanene,
Have things improved with your little man? We have the same problem with our 2 year old (he'll be 3 in May). It all started before Christmas when he got sick. He vomited shortly after going to be and got an awful fright. Daddy stayed with him cause he didn't want to be on his own. Now daddy (or me if I put him to bed) has to stay with him until he falls asleep. He's usually asleep within 10 minutes so it's not too bad and once he's asleep he's in a deep sleep but he will wake up in the middle of the night and call for whoever put him to bed. Daddy usually end up sleeping in his bed for the rest of the night. We tried leaving him one evening but he went hysterical. There was no settling him and even when we eventually went into him he was very upset. So we've decided to just give him what he needs as it won't last forever. It's exhausting for my poor husband cause if he sleeps in my sons bed he gets kicked all-over. If there is a gentle way of getting him out of the habit we'd definitely try so please let us know if anything worked for you.

New farmers wife

Our 2 year old was a great sleeper, into the cot say goodnight and 12 hours sleep. Three weeks before our now 3 week old baby arrived, she started climbing out of the cot, we dropped the cot to the lowest level, we took off the rail, nothing worked, we had to put a stair gate at the door, it was seriously tough going for the first 4 nights, then we gave her a little sheep night light and showed her how to turn it on and she has been great, into her bed, turns on her nightlight and if she wakes during the night for some reason she will either turn on the light herself and go back to sleep or if she's gotten out of bed you just go in and put her back into bed and turn on her nightlight and she goes back to sleep.