Housemates who lliterally live in their rooms

Church on Tuesday

Let's face it, houseshares are not really where most people want to be anyways.

I've had some grim ones. The chances of actually being in a share with people who are genuinely sound is slim to none. Have encountered maybe two people who were normal and friendly.

The lack of common sense with some people is breathtaking sometimes, and the focus on trivial stuff beggars belief.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

I've had some mental housemates in some very crap houses, definitely ended up living in my room then.

Where I am now, one of my "housemates" is my partner, and the other three are dead sound. Also it's a savage gaff, there's a huge, bright, nice kitchen where two people can cook without being on top of each other, and a separate sitting room with comfy couches, so even if people are cooking or chatting in the kitchen you can watch tv etc in there in peace. I end up spending more time in the communal area for sure, I'm not besties with any of the housemates but I enjoy their company and conversation. People would often have a few drinks together, watch something on TV etc. It's definitely a nicer atmosphere than some other houses where it's been a case of strategising how to get to the shower, get a load of laundry on, get fed and get the fcuk to your room without having to deal with whatever fresh hell these gobshítes have decided passes for conversation.

Still, I've about two hours of people time in me of an evening, and about zero after a work day. I'll read in my room, play games, or if the OH is at work hang out in his room with the hamster.

TerrorFirmer

Thankfully since I moved out of home, I've always lived with either girlfriends or friends, so every house has really been an open place where everyone gets along brilliantly. Do communal stuff in the living room sometimes - movies, food, whatever, but spend most of our respective time in our rooms. They're a good size so there's TVs/consoles/PCs in each of them.

Would hate now at this point to have to live with strangers. Not that I wouldn't get on with new people or anything like that, but it'd be a big change.

orangerhyme

It's the problem with Dublin's housing stock, it's very difficult to find your own place and most end up house sharing.

At least Eoghan Murphy seems to be trying to change the legislation.

There was a property guy from Canada saying they have square apartment blocks with long corridors like a hotel. Much cheaper to build than our balcony, dual aspect, lift ratio things, underground car parks etc.
Why pay for all these things if you don't want them!?

I used to live alone for 8 years and now have to share because of the poxy rental market. I really don't want to be there so I'm hardly going to be overly social.

veryangryman

Karsini wrote: »

I used to live alone for 8 years and now have to share because of the poxy rental market. I really don't want to be there so I'm hardly going to be overly social.

I still think its bad karma. Imagine if everyone was indifferent to each other. No friendships, romances etc would ever come to be and everyone would have a deep loathing for others and indeed themselves

Ursus Horribilis

Maybe your house mates have a reason for hiding? Just sayin'..

givyjoe

veryangryman wrote: »

I still think its bad karma. Imagine if everyone was indifferent to each other. No friendships, romances etc would ever come to be and everyone would have a deep loathing for others and indeed themselves

If karma was a thing, I have a feeling you would be getting pounded by it :pac:

DEFTLEFTHAND

Most of the people I lived with were sociable enough. Lived with the odd beard type.

I myself was never that comfortable moving in with complete strangers tbh.

Blargh

I have to agree with most people in the thread after work  living in the room is better than having to make chit chat about shyte with housemates. My housemates are foreign and trying to understand a word they say is brutal that and working  in call centre environment the convo you would get out of me would be a grunt at best.

Blargh

I have to agree with most people in the thread after work  living in the room is better than having to make chit chat about shyte with housemates. My housemates are foreign and trying to understand a word they say is brutal that and working  in call centre environment the convo you would get out of me would be a grunt at best.

Ulysses Gaze

veryangryman wrote: »

Probably a few of you are in that scenario. Drives me mad. Why would you pay rent in a house and not mix with the other people in the house?

Fair enough if you get landed with weirdos or have days when your just not in the mood. But it seems that within this generation, we are getting some deeply anti social living situations.

Yes, wed all love our own spaces and resent that we have to share. That notwithstanding, why not make the most of it?

I realise that a decent percentage reading this thread are currently dodging social interaction with their housemates. Why is my question to these people.

Because who wants to listen to someone ****e on and on about what Dickhead A did at their work or what Tosspot B said to Cnut C at their work. I don't know nor want to know Dickhead A, Tosspot B or Cnut C. I will also probably never meet them.

And when I was living with people, that was what I would listen to. And they spoke about this ****, and these ****heads, so much that they would drop names and expect you to remember every minutiae of what they had babbled before.

I don't give a ****!

It was either that or listen to whatever bull**** "drama" they were going through with their mates (who I didn't know nor want to know, Family (ditto) or Partner (ditto)

ShadowHearth

About 3+ years ago I broke up with a woman and rented a house with my friend. It was weird to go back living with other people at late 20s after being in relationship for 10 years.
I found out that I am like a person that OP describing. I would spend most of my time in my room after work, unless I am doing omething social with my friends. It was flipping great.
I am in relationship again for 2 years and I love her, but god, I miss my room in that house sometimes. It was great coming back home tired after work and just be with yourself and do stuff you want, without any socialising involved, unless its a buddy in some other country calling me "big floppy donkey dick" over vent.

Mongfinder General

ShadowHearth wrote: »

About 3+ years ago I broke up with a woman and rented a house with my friend. It was weird to go back living with other people at late 20s after being in relationship for 10 years.
I found out that I am like a person that OP describing. I would spend most of my time in my room after work, unless I am doing omething social with my friends. It was flipping great.
I am in relationship again for 2 years and I love her, but god, I miss my room in that house sometimes. It was great coming back home tired after work and just be with yourself and do stuff you want, without any socialising involved, unless its a buddy in some other country calling me "big floppy donkey dick" over vent.

Donkey Dick? Wtf?

ShadowHearth

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Donkey Dick? Wtf?

My Northen irish and English friends have amazing skill when it comes to insults.

LadyMacBeth_

ShadowHearth wrote: »

My Northen irish and English friends have amazing skill when it comes to insults.

Isn't that a compliment?

andekwarhola

Just chuckling at the irony of people ammassing post counts talking sh1te with strangers on a chat forum reacting with such horror at the thought of occasional small talk in the kitchen with somebody you live with.

When I house shared, I definitely liked a good bit of time in my room, reading or relaxing after college or work but I always tried to put in at least some token time with the flatmates unless, as happened a few times admittedly, they genuinely were bellends.

21Savage

greencap wrote: »

Because they're renting a room, not buying a seat at your social event.

This isn't Friends, there is no canned laughter or hilarious plot, most people just want to have a ****, regret their life choices in private, and go asleep.

Not hear about how you ran the gas off the electricity and the electricity off the gas.

This is one of the bleakest ways of looking at the world I have ever seen. We really need to do something as a society to end this anti-social world we live in. It's out of kilter with us as a species. We were hard-wired to be part of the group for thousands of years. Shunning others like this isn't normal.

TBH I'd be the same but I can see it as being a negative development A great conversation and a good laugh will beat some tv show any day.

I think the problem has life(and by that I mean regular day to day 9-5) has become extremely stifled and predictable and because of that there isn't that much to talk about anymore.

OldMrBrennan83

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pilly

Patww79 wrote:

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Jesus wept.

wakka12

I dont understand people who ignore housemates. Its nice to be on good terms with them, and so easy to maintain..just the odd chat, smiley hello how are yous. Then you have somebody who'll ask if you want anything when they goto the shop, wholl put on coffee for you when they're having it, let you in if you forgot a key, somebody to call , talk about if theres landlord/rent problems whatever..
Its just a good thing to be on good terms with flat mate. And Its nice to have somebody you don't feel awkward around all the time or if you get a bit lonely for any reason some day you've somebody to chat with

bucketybuck

21Savage wrote: »

I think the problem has life(and by that I mean regular day to day 9-5) has become extremely stifled and predictable and because of that there isn't that much to talk about anymore.

Its sure not like it was a hundred years ago, when all those working class people were having one varied and exhilarating experience after another.

21Savage

LMAO working with the boys down the mill all day speaking and joking in delightful old timey accents, I'm sure it was much worse than being sat in a seat all day scrolling the facebook newsfeed.

DoozerT6

wakka12 wrote: »

I dont understand people who ignore housemates. Its nice to be on good terms with them, and so easy to maintain..just the odd chat, smiley hello how are yous. Then you have somebody who'll ask if you want anything when they goto the shop, wholl put on coffee for you when they're having it, let you in if you forgot a key, somebody to call , talk about if theres landlord/rent problems whatever..
Its just a good thing to be on good terms with flat mate. And Its nice to have somebody you don't feel awkward around all the time or if you get a bit lonely for any reason some day you've somebody to chat with

This seems like a pretty good way to look at it.

There are people here who seem to think that they're going to end up living with the aforementioned Fr Noel Furlong. That is very unlikely, and if it does happen, by all means, skedaddle to your bedroom when you hear them coming.

MOST people sharing a house will be just like you - an ordinary Joe in the position of having to live with strangers when they'd probably rather not, and are just trying to get on with it. You don't have to be besties with your flatmates or hang out with them every evening, but at least being able to pass the time of day in the evenings should your paths cross or even God forbid, enjoy their company, just makes life easier.

tbh I think it would be MORE stressful trying to avoid people living in the same house as you 24/7, than it would be to spend 15 minutes making sh!te/polite conversation in the evenings while you make a cuppa or boil a few spuds for dinner. You're only sharing the same house (probably unintentionally), you don't have to be Joey and Chandler, but being able to talk about the match last night or the film you saw at the weekend or other such social pleasantries can't be that bad surely? (Disclaimer, if your flatmate is genuinely weird or suffers from Noel Furlong-itis, disregard this post and either move out or retreat to your room )

Also, and someone touched on it in another post, sharing houses can be an important way to learn how to take responsibility for yourself, share resources, and interact socially outside your immediate friend/family/work group. Those weird flatmates you had in the past who seemed incapable of taking care of themselves? I'd guess if you went back to check on them five years later they would be quite different.

Ursus Horribilis

How much are they ignoring each other though? There are degrees to which people ignore each other in house shares.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Mongfinder General wrote: »

Because most people have nothing to say and I don't want to listen to it after a day's work. I'd hate to come home every day to some arsehole sitting on my couch talking ****. If you want to talk to me text me or email. Otherwise fcuk off

That sounds depressing to be honest. Living with someone and only wanting email or text contact? Why the hell would you choose to live with people like that?

_Brian

I’ve only done house share as a student and that was well pre internet days. I’ve had my own gaff since aged 20 sharing only with my partner, can’t imagine house share as a working adult considering some of the total odd balls out there (likely including myself)

OldMrBrennan83

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Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Patww79 wrote: »

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Not suggesting everyone live alone, but no metter who you live with, I'd like some kind of social interaction with them. Even if its just watching a movie.

The poster in question came across as the kind of guy who is happy ignoring everyone he comes in contact and would live in such circumstances, no matter who he lived with. Given the choice, there is not a chance in hell I would rent a room to the guy.

But to say electronic contact only to someone you live with without good reason? Yeah, sure - totally exhilirating way to interact.

Mongfinder General

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

That sounds depressing to be honest. Living with someone and only wanting email or text contact? Why the hell would you choose to live with people like that?

That's the point. "You"wouldn't want to live with them. Plenty of others who want to be left in peace would.

OldMrBrennan83

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Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Mongfinder General wrote: »

That's the point. "You"wouldn't want to live with them. Plenty of others who want to be left in peace would.

Well, now - if there's good reason, like they're assholes - then fair enough. It may be just your specific flatmates, but your post gave me the impression that was the way you wanted it, regardless.

5rtytry56

Patww79 wrote: »

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absolute drama queens.

LadyMacBeth_

You know what I like about talking shyte on boards and to my friends on WhatsApp? That I can do it in my underwear eating a tub of ice cream and no one is the wiser! Also much easier to just not reply for a while if you're doing something else.

Jobs OXO

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

You know what I like about talking shyte on boards and to my friends on WhatsApp? That I can do it in my underwear eating a tub of ice cream and no one is the wiser! Also much easier to just not reply for a while if you're doing something else.

Have you got the baps released ?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Patww79 wrote: »

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Sounds like you're avoiding them simply because you live them to be honest. But do you treat everyone like this?

(Not sure what you mean be doses - that a typo or some new slang?)

OldMrBrennan83

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LadyMacBeth_

Jobs OXO wrote: »

Have you got the baps released ?

No bra rule at home unless I have visitors and then I reluctantly restrain the girls! Another reason for preferring online contact.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Patww79 wrote: »

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Fair enough. But as I said, I consider the idea that the majority of people I encouter being annoying twats that I'd rather avoid, to be depressing.

OldMrBrennan83

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Ulysses Gaze

wakka12 wrote: »

I dont understand people who ignore housemates. Its nice to be on good terms with them, and so easy to maintain..just the odd chat, smiley hello how are yous. Then you have somebody who'll ask if you want anything when they goto the shop, wholl put on coffee for you when they're having it, let you in if you forgot a key, somebody to call , talk about if theres landlord/rent problems whatever..
Its just a good thing to be on good terms with flat mate. And Its nice to have somebody you don't feel awkward around all the time or if you get a bit lonely for any reason some day you've somebody to chat with

Yes, in an ideal world.

But I've lived in three house shares where any form of smiley hellos was an invitation for certain people to basically invade your space. To corner you and bombard you with crap. To vomit forth verbal effluvia about their workplace, the politics there etc. And I didn't care. In one place, one housemate would not only knock on my door, but would come into my room to see where I was. So I ended up locking the door after that.

I never talked about work because...it was a means to an end. It paid the bills and once I was out the door, I did not want to think about it. At all. I was thinking about it from the moment I got out of bed to the moment I left it. So I never "got" why the hell people want to talk about their workplace, and particularly the politics, with strangers.

And even when cooking food I would get comments. Comments about what I was cooking. To the point where I just wanted to turn around and say....

"You know what...how about a nice hot steaming cup of shut the **** up!"

And just to be clear here.

It's not that I hate people. I just feel better when they are not around.

To quote Charles Bukowski...

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Patww79 wrote: »

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Have honestly never met anyone who falls into the second category. If we don't get along, I don't live with them. Simple. Or I start looking for a new place ASAP.

Have no problem with staving off strangers I don't like, but I'll give them a fair chance first. The balance is about 50/50.

OldMrBrennan83

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Ulysses Gaze

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Have honestly never met anyone who falls into the second category. If we don't get along, I don't live with them. Simple. Or I start looking for a new place ASAP.

Have no problem with staving off strangers I don't like, but I'll give them a fair chance first. The balance is about 50/50.

Consider yourself very lucky.

Fourier

Patww79 wrote: »

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Come on that's bollocks. Most people will not take advantage of you. And there plainly is a society.

Seriously I am a bit indoorsy myself and tend to draw blank when talking outside my interests, but some of this is nonsense.

OldMrBrennan83

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Fourier

Patww79 wrote: »

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Nowadays nothing, human beings are largely unchanged. I see no serious reason to believe most people are Machiavellian arseholes. Some are yes and I've met a few, but I would really struggle to see how it is most.

OldMrBrennan83

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Patww79

Patww79 wrote: »

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No it didn't.

Hyperbole.

Fourier

Patww79 wrote: »

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That's fair, I'm not going to argue with your experiences.