Child Access Query

Hace

Hi All, first time user!
I have an 8 year old daughter, and divorced from her mother. We had her in wed-lock. We are separated nearly 5 years (divorced almost 2), and every year, my ex has my daughter for Christmas. She recently told my daughter about Santa, so the magic of surprise is nearly gone. My ex has my daughter every Christmas, and I have her for the new year. I've asked to take her for next Christmas (2018) but her mother said not a chance.
Surely I have rights? I pay maintenance every month (never late) and contribute to her schooling etc. As she lives in Northern Ireland, I only have her every second weekend (I drive to collect her, and bring her home to the doorstep)
I'm unsure what the law says in relation to this, I've searched but not got a definitive answer - hoping some-one out there might have experienced this?
Thanks in advance.

Xterminator

Hi

you have the right to take your ex to court and get a formal custody arrangement. under that arrangement you can request to alternate christmas between you. or ask for a couple of hours together christmas day etc.

or you could try mediation, which might work better if you have a good relationship with ex and don't want to throw that under the bus.

but with no formal arrangement you have no right to demand christmas day access/custody.

Ash.J.Williams

If all else fails, the threat of court can move things along.

at 8years old, you could find out what your daughters views are on the subject too. mine is 6 and would probably prefer to spend xmas with her mother

MissShihTzu

Are you in the UK, OP? You should be able to get an order alternating the Christmases...

I wouldn't suggest asking the child either. That puts her in the middle and will make her feel that she has to choose. I feel eight is too young to be making these choices anyway.