Silly thoughts you had as an innocent child

Kermit.de.frog

I used to think when I was small (we use to hear a lot about Somalia) why does someone not just open a shop for them?:o

Needless to say it got a bit more complicated.

Still it seemed the best solution at the time.

monty_python

My brother tough hamburgers where called hand burgers because you eat them with your hand

quintana76

I liked RTE. Until sensible maturity hit me at the grand old age of 7.

JackTaylorFan

Believed my family were the only people who knew what scrambled eggs were

Running Balance

As someone who went school in West clare - when in infants and did that rain rain go away don't rain on me but rain on the n__________ boys far across the sea..

I thought the teacher meant kerry!

As for dropping the n word in infants don't ask me

Big Nasty

I only realised a couple years back that nuts grow on trees. It's perfectly logical that they do, I just never really thought about it.

I also thought Polish coal was polished, not from Poland.

mojesius

I thought that 'going to the pictures' was literally going to look at pictures, in a gallery. It sounded very boring so I didn't go. The fun of being the youngest child and the lies your older siblings tell you for ****s and giggles.

My mam or dad couldn't understand why I had no interest in 'going to the pictures' until I was about 6.

When I finally went, my sister told me that giant bubbles start coming out of the screen, lift you to the roof, pop and drop you to the ground. I was terrified before the film started.

Loveinapril

I thought pigs pooped sausages!

Dr Crayfish

In the 80s my Mam used to buy wedges of Edam cheese and for some reason they made me think cheese grew from the ground in balls. My dad had me convinced he fought in 'Nam and won the Dublin marathon (there was a picture of his crossing the line in the house) for years, so much so I told teachers in school about both.

Mr.Crinklewood

That black people had white poos

force eleven

Gorilla warfare always confused me when I was young. Why were big apes fighting each other?

Idjit

That I'd just automatically become an adult on my 18th birthday with the endless knowledge that my parents and other grown ups seemed to have.

Bob Harris

I used to think newsreaders could see into your living room.

s4uv3

I invented a cure for drowning. Everyone should carry a balloon on them at all times, so that if you found yourself unexpectedly in water, all you had to do was breathe in and out of the balloon.
My teacher laughed at my deadly idea

LadyMacBeth_

Anyone remember that ad for Surf that said "if you're not happy Lever brothers will give you your money back". I thought they were saying "if you're not happy leave your brothers give you your money back" and I thought this was a very unfair policy as I didn't have any brothers to reimburse me

I also thought that every time an ad came on that it was live and broadcasted over and over again, rather than being recorded and played. I used to think that people must get so bored going in to work all the time to broadcast the same ad.

I also believed when I was a small child that people in Ireland didn't die, that it was something that only happened to poor unfortunates in other countries. Like Ireland was some sort of Tir na nOg

I had many, many questions for my poor parents who now lament that there was no Google at the time to help them give me answers.

Dakota Dan

When I was 3 I thought people would never die if they kept their eyes open.

King George VI

I used to think Camogie was underwater hockey for women. My father told me that as a joke when I asked him what it was. Naturally you believe what an adult tells you until someone tells you otherwise. I found out the truth when I was 17.

beertons

There was a killer tractor, the dargan tractor, driving the roads and running over people. It was black. Had nightmares for years about it. I love tractors, just not black ones.

Gwynplaine

After seeing some old black and white movies, I thought that everything was in black and white years ago.
I thought it didn't rain over the oceans and seas.
I thought that teachers lived in the school and never left, when I saw one on the street one day, I was amazed.
I thought the 'body of christ' (communion) was literally the body of christ, and thought it very wierd that you'd eat a little piece of skin off a dead man.

tringle

Didn't we have this thread before
Our dad told us that a puddle at the bus stop in Crumlin was bottomless, I was terrified of it.
Friends said that banshees lived on the roof of Johnston, Mooney and O Brien's bakery in Ballsbridge...would hold my dads hand and close my eyes when walking by.
The little press under the stairs, I thought it was the "country room" not "cubby room" and that it possibly had a secret tunnel to rural Ireland.

My younger brother wouldn't go to bed until my parents turned off the TV and promised no one would watch it while he was in bed
My younger sister was worried that while she was at school she might need her mammy and was terrified she wouldn't be at home si mam would have to assure her she would spend all day at home waiting on her.

suicide_circus

That gay sex just involved some sort of swordplay with the willies. Had no concept of butthole pleasures.

mariaalice

That Dublin city and Dublin county were the same thing and despite living near Dublin I remember being absolutely amazed to discover there were farms and rural areas in Dublin.

Just as a bit of social history my father know someone who farmed in Blackrock right up to the 1970s

server down

That cats were female and dogs male.

Duckworth_Luas

tringle wrote: »

Friends said that banshees lived on the roof of Johnston, Mooney and O Brien's bakery in Ballsbridge...would hold my dads hand and close my eyes when walking by.

This one has cracked me up.

Why would a troop of banshees decide to live on, of all places, the roof of the JM&O'B bakery?

FrancieBrady

That tobacco was grown in Cavan.

Rubberlegs

I wouldn't get my ears pierced as when I heard piercing gun I thought I would have to line up and have the earrings shot at me from across the room.
My Dad put an egg on the chair my little sister had been sitting on and when she came back he told her she had laid an egg. She was traumatised, it was hilarious!
I believed my Grandad that the field up the road was Jerusalem, he used to bring me walking with him and his dog there. I also believed him when he said he, my Granny and the neighbours were all going to die on the same day and go to heaven in a wardrobe. So it was a bit freaky some years later when he and the neighbour actually did die on the same day.

fogartyl

When I was young I thought that disabled parking spots were for people with gigantic asses (I never saw a person in a wheelchair before).

Big Nasty

fogartyl wrote: »

When I was young I thought that disabled parking spots were for people with gigantic asses (I never saw a person in a wheelchair before).

Americans? :pac:

Lorelli!

When I was about 9 or 10, my friend and I lit the end of a twig and "smoked it". It didn't even light properly. It just lit at the end for a second and then went out but we imitated the actions of smoking with it. I remember saying to her "why do people bother wasting their money on cigarettes when they can just smoke sticks?"

On the train, we use to pass by these red brick houses and I use to think it was Coronation Street.

Also near where I grew up, there are these 8 lovely little cottages in a half circle. My parents told me that there was one for each of the 7 dwarfs and the other for Snow White.

murphthesmurf

That there was this guy in the sky who made the universe in 6 days. Then 4 billion yrs later inpregnated Mary with his son, who was kinda him. He then got nailed to a cross and died, but didn't actually die.

Big Nasty

Ooh, that reminds me. I heard about people 'smoking grass' so I pulled a clump of grass from the garden, rolled it in copybook paper, stuck it with sellotape and lit 'er up.

Nearly chocked to death! :eek:

Cee-Jay-Cee

I'm a twin and 10 minutes older than my sibling, I always thought that meant she would die 10 minutes after me.

I also used to think that England was up in the sky as my aunt lived there and she used to go there in a plane and the only way to get high enough was in a plane.

maccored

i used to think tiny people lived in the radio

whisky_galore

We had this bringing toys to the crib thing, brought up a broken toy, in the hopes that God would repair it.

Needless to say, it was still broken afterwards.

o1s1n

That 'ELAMENO' was a letter :pac:

Badly Drunk Boy

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I also used to think that England was up in the sky as my aunt lived there and she used to go there in a plane and the only way to get high enough was in a plane.

When I was very young, I used to think that England was in Dublin. (I'm not from Dublin.)

buckwheat

Gwynplaine wrote: »

After seeing some old black and white movies, I thought that everything was in black and white years ago.
I thought it didn't rain over the oceans and seas.
I thought that teachers lived in the school and never left, when I saw one on the street one day, I was amazed.
I thought the 'body of christ' (communion) was literally the body of christ, and thought it very wierd that you'd eat a little piece of skin off a dead man.

This is actually what Catholics believe. They also believe the wine is actually his blood. Not metaphorically, literally. The mad feckers:D

sbsquarepants

When I was maybe 6 or 7, I thought that cats were female dogs:o

sbsquarepants

Lorelli! wrote: »

I remember saying to her "why do people bother wasting their money on cigarettes when they can just smoke sticks?"
.

Perfectly valid question I reckon!

server down

buckwheat wrote: »

This is actually what Catholics believe. They also believe the wine is actually his blood. Not metaphorically, literally. The mad feckers:D

You guys are so edgy.

(And it’s a lot more complex than literally.)

tringle

maccored wrote: »

i used to think tiny people lived in the radio

We got a clock radio and I was thought that if you put the clock back an hour you would get the radio programme from that hour too.

Lorelli!

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Perfectly valid question I reckon!

I was thinking that too but I don't think I meant it in that way

Salvation Tambourine

My dad convinced me that Donabate (on the other side there) was England.

Gwynplaine

We had an old record player years ago, with 2 separate speakers. My brother told me that if I turned the speakers upside down, the music would play backwards. So we tried it, I turned them upside down and it was still the same, he said "it needs a few seconds to start playing backwards". So as I'm standing there staring at the speakers, he proceeds to to turn the record back the way on the turntable. I didn't see him do this of course, and was absolutely amazed at the song going backwards.
How innocent.

Aye Bosun

When I was small I used to think that the little nameplate on the side of a funeral hearse beside the coffin was the name of the person who passed away and I was really happy my family name was not Smith, they seemed to be dying ALL the time.

I was about 16 or 17 before I realised it was the name of the local funeral home.

Stone Deaf 4evr

For years I believed that falling down the stairs would result in instant death. Obviously bought on by the countless tv shows and films where someone would meet their doom by falling 8 feet.

McMurphy

Babies came out of the belly.


And me old man had me believing in this magical place called Smartie land where everything was made from Smarties - and he's take me there some day if I was 'good'.

To be fair, he was pretty.gullible too. One afternoon he and were comparing watches and who's had the more accurate time.

I decided to settle it by informing him that I would call the speaking clock.....

Came back from the hall way to tell him (smugly) that his was 3 mins fast.

"Lying Shiite, I never heard you asking it anything" is how he replied.

LadyMacBeth_

Rick Shaw wrote: »

Babies came out of the belly.

That reminds me, I thought that a man and a woman knelt down to pray to god together and then the woman would have a big belly and be pregnant with a baby that would come out of it.

@suicide_circus, I was also confused when I was first contemplating gay sex and assumed that they must just rub their willies together, I think my sister laughed at me and then I said something like ''well they hardly put it in each other's bums'' and then she laughed even harder, the penny dropped :pac:

Oasis1974

Some real porkies been thrown about here I swear

siblers

I thought that if you spoke too much you would run out of some type of "word fuel" and you would no longer be able to speak

If you didn't dry your hands, your nails would fall off

brainfreeze

server down wrote: »

That cats were female and dogs male.

Edit: But it's not as strange as you think, lots of children have this misconception. Even in cartoons most of the time dogs are male, cats are female. Except if the cat is the star of the show, then it's usually male.

Bizarrely, 80% of domesticated cats are female. So most cat owners pick female cats.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯