Affair / Sexual chemistry

Shemale

ahusband wrote: »

This is funny, sorry for hijacking your thread OP.

Discussed that scenario with my wife recently, her reservation was a jealousy related one.
That she feared she might be jealous of seeing me with another girl, she might constantly
wonder afterwards if I got more enjoyment from the other girl than from her.

My wife asked me when we were single who would I have a threesome with and I said her sister as they are so alike and the two women I am most attracted to. It didnt happen because wife said she would be jealous of the other woman and I havent got the sister out of my mind sexually ever since, we have shared plenty of moments since but have somehow managed to control myself.

The OPs husband knows about the other guy and might prefer to be there

Crimson King

Joeseph Balls wrote: »

More likely though, this is a poor attempt at trolling.

Surprised it took so long for someone to say it. Obvious is obvious sometimes.

andekwarhola

It's not real sexual chemistry unless you hear an 80s electric synth effect when your eyes meet at a crowded cocktail party.

professore

Shemale wrote: »

ahusband wrote: »

This is funny, sorry for hijacking your thread OP.

Discussed that scenario with my wife recently, her reservation was a jealousy related one.
That she feared she might be jealous of seeing me with another girl, she might constantly
wonder afterwards if I got more enjoyment from the other girl than from her.

My wife asked me when we were single who would I have a threesome with and I said her sister as they are so alike and the two women I am most attracted to. It didnt happen because wife said she would be jealous of the other woman and I havent got the sister out of my mind sexually ever since, we have shared plenty of moments since but have somehow managed to control myself.

The OPs husband knows about the other guy and might prefer to be there

Amazed at all these sisters that want sex with their sisters husbands

Cheerful Spring

AwareWolf wrote: »

New to this so hope I'm posting in right place. Never had an affair. Very happily married. Clicked with someone recently. And the chemistry was unreal! Didn't have sex nearly did. Married 15 years. Have never experienced this sexual chemistry. Now can't get it out of my head and want him NOW! But afraid of how I'll feel afterwards, and can I really forget it if I get it out of my system?

How are you happily married if you want to have sex with another man? Reality check this don't happen if you're happy. Maybe you need to spice up things in the bedroom with your husband and figure out why you want to have sex with someone else.

Shemale

professore wrote: »

Amazed at all these sisters that want sex with their sisters husbands

Why because it's inconceivable that two people with nearly identical genetics could be attracted to the same person in the same way a person could fancy sisters / brothers?

A friend of mine has an uncle(dads brother) and an aunt(mothers sister) who are married

AwareWolf

Cheerful Spring wrote: »

How are you happily married if you want to have sex with another man? Reality check this don't happen if you're happy. Maybe you need to spice up things in the bedroom with your husband and figure out why you want to have sex with someone else.

Once upon a time I would have been the person that held this view.....and now here I am realising that is not the case! I am happy with husband family etc. Wouldn't change it for the world. this is about sex. Never thought I'd hear myself say that. A sexual power /confidence that has awoken within me. Difficult to describe..... Not used to this.

Army_of_One

andekwarhola wrote: »

It's not real sexual chemistry unless you hear an 80s electric synth effect when your eyes meet at a crowded cocktail party.

Happened to me in the early 80's.True story

AwareWolf

ahusband wrote: »

No problem, it's not something I'd openly discuss with friends, so as I say it's interesting to
read the opposite side of what appears to be a very similar scenario, although you appear to
be much further along the ways of doing something about it.

If it's not too personal, how did you approach the subject with your husband?

Was it along the lines that you wanted to settle your curiosity ?

No. It was after I kissed the other guy on a night out after drinks. I came home and it was the first thing I told him.

AwareWolf

Shemale wrote: »

Why not ask you husband about a threesome with the other person

With a threesome, your husband can see how the two of you are sexually and if there are sparks he might just realise he has to up his game.

From your side you get to pleasure both of them at the same time, no guilt and you wont be able to say for sure if the feelings you had from it were the other guy or the fact he had two men lusting after you at the same time.

My initial reaction to this is ,....doubt husband would do that. But your suggestion has sent my mind wondering.....

misstearheus

So did ye have sex yet or what's the story?!

professore

Shemale wrote: »

professore wrote: »

Amazed at all these sisters that want sex with their sisters husbands

Why because it's inconceivable that two people with nearly identical genetics could be attracted to the same person in the same way a person could fancy sisters / brothers?

A friend of mine has an uncle(dads brother) and an aunt(mothers sister) who are married

That's not what I'm amazed at. I'm amazed that people **** their brother/sister's spouse. That's one of the lowest ****ty things you can do IMO.

Clair4

misstearheus wrote: »

So did ye have sex yet or what's the story?!

Was wondering 2

Hibernia Gardens

Id go for it. Guilt is all in your mind. That chemistry only comes a few times in my opinion.

AwareWolf

Really? Guilt may be in our heads..... Maybe chemistry is too...... But things moving quickly.......

BorneTobyWilde

SO what happened

AwareWolf

AwareWolf wrote: »

Really? Guilt may be in our heads..... Maybe chemistry is too...... But things moving quickly.......

Oooooo, it's all a little exciting, that contribution sounded a little breathless as you answered a point made someone who has had 7 posts which, if you looked at them, seem to consist of smart remarks.

You're not putting a lot of analysis into this, I'd say people in Mills and Boon novels would be more circumspect and cautious. They wouldn't pick up on a point made by a 7 post contributor to announce how things were developing at an exciting pace.

BorneTobyWilde

BorneTobyWilde wrote: »

SO what happened

Well nothing happened yet. Because it it did, the OP would be on here with the giddiness of it all before putting the clothes back on.

Sebastian Dangerfield

OP, husband may give you "permission" -strange as it sounds to me - but theres no telling how he would react after the event. He may resent you forever.

How do you feel about his passive attitude to you being with someone else?

Avatar MIA

Has the OP mentioned yet how much of a chore it is having sex with their husband, and that the new guy is above average? :rolleyes:

Sebastian Dangerfield

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Has the OP mentioned yet how much of a chore it is having sex with their husband, and that the new guy is above average? :rolleyes:

It takes 2 to tango. If a tandem bike feels like its going uphill when on the flat, its probably 2 sh1t cyclists not just 1.
(Tries to think of better metaphor for ****e sex but fails. Im tired)

AwareWolf

Hibernia Gardens wrote: »

Id go for it. Guilt is all in your mind. That chemistry only comes a few times in my opinion.

The chemistry only comes a few times you say. I have never experienced this. Never. I've come to this stage in my life.... And never experienced it. In some ways I can't understand it. Never ever thought I would be the one saying this. How or why does this happen? The smart ass comments I'm ignoring on this thread.

Sue Pa Key Pa

AwareWolf wrote: »

I already mentioned the possibility of it. And said I wouldn't go there if it meant the end of marriage and he said it wouldn't. He's amazing really. Will love him til the day I die. Fact. As I say that's not the issue......

You eased your husband's conscience by telling him this stuff. He's probably being riding your bridesmaid since your wedding reception. Work away OP

erica74

Good chemistry doesn't mean good sex. When I was younger and single, I met a guy through a friend of mine. Everytime we saw each other we were very flirtatious, a shitload of chemistry, our personalities just sparked off each other and we were just sort of drawn to each other. This went on for a couple of months until eventually we shared our first kiss and that was like magic. However, a week later we slept together and it was SHITE, we just didn't really click together in that way. I remember telling my best friend at the time and the disbelief was hilarious because everyone observed the chemistry between us. Sometimes the idea of something is better than the actual act.

Also, if you're in an open relationship with your husband (and that's what you appear to be alluding to) then, what's the problem? Go ride the other fella and see what it's like and sure then you can head home to your family with a clear head. That's if your husband is (as you say) okay with it.
I find it interesting that you described yourself as a "mum" in your second post on the thread, not a "woman" but, a "mum" - suggests to me that you've lost your identity and are bored with your role in the family

the beer revolu

It's really not uncommon for women with children to identify themselves as, first and foremost, mums.

myshirt

the beer revolu wrote: »

It's really not uncommon for women with children to identify themselves as first and foremost, mums.

She could be trying to set up one of those scenes of the lonely mum at home looking to get her washing machine serviced.

Donald Trump

Shemale wrote: »

Why because it's inconceivable that two people with nearly identical genetics could be attracted to the same person in the same way a person could fancy sisters / brothers?

A friend of mine has an uncle(dads brother) and an aunt(mothers sister) who are married

Sure that's half of Offaly.

The other half were rejected by their siblings for not being ugly enough

AwareWolf

erica74 wrote: »

Good chemistry doesn't mean good sex. When I was younger and single, I met a guy through a friend of mine. Everytime we saw each other we were very flirtatious, a shitload of chemistry, our personalities just sparked off each other and we were just sort of drawn to each other. This went on for a couple of months until eventually we shared our first kiss and that was like magic. However, a week later we slept together and it was SHITE, we just didn't really click together in that way. I remember telling my best friend at the time and the disbelief was hilarious because everyone observed the chemistry between us. Sometimes the idea of something is better than the actual act.

Also, if you're in an open relationship with your husband (and that's what you appear to be alluding to) then, what's the problem? Go ride the other fella and see what it's like and sure then you can head home to your family with a clear head. That's if your husband is (as you say) okay with it.
I find it interesting that you described yourself as a "mum" in your second post on the thread, not a "woman" but, a "mum" - suggests to me that you've lost your identity and are bored with your role in the family

Very true the idea may be better than the act.....and no I haven't lost my identity in fact if any thing I've found it! A sexual being. And the reason I didn't go ahead is I feel it is a big thing to do and wanted opinions on possible consequences I may not be seeing. Already a few have made good points...... One being that afterwards may be different than I expect. So hence my post, and I am grateful for your advice / opinion. Thanks. I've got lovely private messages from people who don't want to discuss this openly..... It's been very helpful.

Avatar MIA

AwareWolf wrote: »

I've got lovely private messages from people who don't want to discuss this openly..... It's been very helpful.

From people advocating an affair, I bet they were positively effusive. :rolleyes:

the beer revolu

Avatar MIA wrote: »

From people advocating an affair, I bet they were positively effusive. :rolleyes:

More likely from people who had had experiences that they regretted afterwards.

Crunchienut

the beer revolu wrote: »

More likely from people who had had experiences that they regretted afterwards.

I doubt everyone regrets the experience

tomwaterford

Martina1991 wrote: »

Given the quantity and popularity of brothels and strip clubs world wide it seems a lot more people are unfaithful than people care to admit or realise

Cheating is way more common than the people of boards are willing to admit



Almost everyone I've ever worked with (both male and female) has cheated and alot of them it was an ongoing event

RDM_83 again

tomwaterford wrote: »

Cheating is way more common than the people of boards are willing to admit



Almost everyone I've ever worked with (both male and female) has cheated and alot of them it was an ongoing event

I really don't think that's true, it depends on the crowds your around, it probably is more common than some people would think but the idea that loads of people cheat is as wrong as the idea that nobody does.

Some workplaces do seem to have loads of people doing the dirt others are filled with happily attached people, your in a place with one type of culture it doesn't mean the other doesn't exist.

Dinarius

Is this research for a novel?

Never been less convinced by an OP’s subsequent posts.

D.

tomwaterford

RDM_83 again wrote: »

I really don't think that's true, it depends on the crowds your around, it probably is more common than some people would think but the idea that loads of people cheat is as wrong as the idea that nobody does.

Some workplaces do seem to have loads of people doing the dirt others are filled with happily attached people, your in a place with one type of culture it doesn't mean the other doesn't exist.

I've worked in many work places and hung out with many people from different areas.....I'd put people who cheat on a regular basis (5+ a year or ongoing affairs) at roughly 40% ...

and would struggle to name a handful of people what have never cheated that I know IRL



..that's not to say those who cheat are not happily attached...just sort of happens??

AwareWolf

So it turns out my husband thought I had already been with another guy, that I had asked after the event. This only came up after I was 12 days late with my last period....which never happens. He admitted it had crossed his mind. I hugged him and assured him it hadn't happened. A pang of sympathy and guilt with in me. He says he wasn't worried...it had just crossed his mind. Later that evening we had sex like never before, I initiated and had orgasims like never before. I can only assume me being open with him has lead to this and he was happy too. The other guy I must say became a distant memory after the way I felt that night. Now I just want more and more sex with husband. I'm back posting because there are idiots out there who are willing ready and able to condemn a woman in my position.....but not as quick to condemn men. It's men who have private messaged me.....in a similar position as me.....and feeling the same as me. As a society we need to wake up and realise we are sexual beings......we can feel like this and it doesn't make us bad people. I didn't cheat for those of you who keep using that word. I don't agree with cheating that's why I was up front with him. I don't know any other woman who could say that to her husband and that saddens me.

Avatar MIA

AwareWolf wrote: »

I don't know any other woman who could say that to her husband and that saddens me.

If the super sex was because of revelation it's not going to last.

AwareWolf wrote: »

I don't know any other woman who could say that to her husband and that saddens me.

What's saddening you, that more couples don't feel open enough to ask for open relationships? I would say open relationships are very much not the norm and would end most marriages.

ahusband

AwareWolf wrote: »

So it turns out my husband thought I had already been with another guy, that I had asked after the event. This only came up after I was 12 days late with my last period....which never happens. He admitted it had crossed his mind. I hugged him and assured him it hadn't happened. A pang of sympathy and guilt with in me. He says he wasn't worried...it had just crossed his mind. Later that evening we had sex like never before, I initiated and had orgasims like never before. I can only assume me being open with him has lead to this and he was happy too. The other guy I must say became a distant memory after the way I felt that night. Now I just want more and more sex with husband. I'm back posting because there are idiots out there who are willing ready and able to condemn a woman in my position.....but not as quick to condemn men. It's men who have private messaged me.....in a similar position as me.....and feeling the same as me. As a society we need to wake up and realise we are sexual beings......we can feel like this and it doesn't make us bad people. I didn't cheat for those of you who keep using that word. I don't agree with cheating that's why I was up front with him. I don't know any other woman who could say that to her husband and that saddens me.

I'm glad that things are working out for you, hopefully you were just stuck in a rut & you can get what you both need at home. To me the pang of guilt you felt even without sleeping with the other man speaks volumes, if you felt guilty without doing it I wonder how you'd feel if you had, really hope it works out for you.

wakka12

tomwaterford wrote: »

Cheating is way more common than the people of boards are willing to admit



Almost everyone I've ever worked with (both male and female) has cheated and alot of them it was an ongoing event

Cheating is relatively common but I don't believe the majority of people cheat on their longterm spouses. Based on my own social circles Id have estimated about 1 in 5 people cheat on their gf/bf/partner.
Out of my gay friends though it seems like about 30-50% cheat on each other :pac:

Most stats put it at 20-60%.
Boards seems to be extremely anti cheating, just that its mentioned so much on here as being a very bad thing, in real life it seems to be more normalised and accepted.

thesultan

AwareWolf wrote: »

You're being sarcastic I take it, this has been going round and round in my head. I just wanted opinions .... It's the reason I've joined boards. There's no one I can talk to about this..... Because my good old Catholic ireland family would KILL me.

What's your sex life like with your husband?

Sebastian Dangerfield

AwareWolf wrote: »

I didn't cheat for those of you who keep using that word. I don't agree with cheating that's why I was up front with him. I don't know any other woman who could say that to her husband and that saddens me.

Didnt you say you already kissed this person (apologies if Im wrong)? If I kissed someone else I would consider myself to have cheated on my wife.

Thats not me being prudish, just my view of the parameters of our marriage.

tomwaterford

wakka12 wrote: »

Most stats put it at 20-60%.
Boards seems to be extremely anti cheating, just that its mentioned so much on here as being a very bad thing, in real life it seems to be more normalised and accepted.

Stop....if your to believe everyone here...noone ever cheats except evil people's :pac:



Like I know lads,

what have cheated say one weekend and the shock and relisation of what they stood to lose,caused them to be propose by the following weekend

AwareWolf

Yes kissed, but that was when I told my husband. I consider cheating lying. And to the person who asked about my sex life with husband...well it does exist.....if that's what you mean. I've a question for you now though....since I've got my mind thinking alot and read all replies here i had a think about what I like about this other guy compared to my husband. I like his lust for me. I never had that with husband and ive had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that may be it's possible my husband is gay. I decided to sext him through out the day and tell him how much I wanted him and there was a bit of banter. I made it clear what i would do to him when he came home. He arrived home later that evening and said nothing. If i said that to this other guy he'd be over to me like a shot! Lads am I going mad here? Shouldn't he want me after talk like that? 😔

Sebastian Dangerfield

You'd know that better than anyone but his passive attitude to the thought of you being with someone else, to me,suggests something is up. Absolving guilt for one reason or another seems most likely to me.

taytobreath

I read the first 4 pages and skipped the other 13, you guys need some relationship counselling on how to talk to each other on how you feel.

givyjoe

AwareWolf wrote: »

Yes kissed, but that was when I told my husband. I consider cheating lying. And to the person who asked about my sex life with husband...well it does exist.....if that's what you mean. I've a question for you now though....since I've got my mind thinking alot and read all replies here i had a think about what I like about this other guy compared to my husband. I like his lust for me. I never had that with husband and ive had this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that may be it's possible my husband is gay. I decided to sext him through out the day and tell him how much I wanted him and there was a bit of banter. I made it clear what i would do to him when he came home. He arrived home later that evening and said nothing. If i said that to this other guy he'd be over to me like a shot! Lads am I going mad here? Shouldn't he want me after talk like that? ��

Maybe he's just not keen on his wife who told him she was thinking of cheating. Maybe all that talk made him think about what you were saying/going to do with the other guy. Guys are human too, not just walking d!cks.

dr.fuzzenstein

wakka12 wrote: »

Cheating is relatively common but I don't believe the majority of people cheat on their longterm spouses. Based on my own social circles Id have estimated about 1 in 5 people cheat on their gf/bf/partner.
Out of my gay friends though it seems like about 30-50% cheat on each other :pac:

Most stats put it at 20-60%.
Boards seems to be extremely anti cheating, just that its mentioned so much on here as being a very bad thing, in real life it seems to be more normalised and accepted.

All perfect people here, 20 years happily married to the perfect partner, who have perfect sex and are perfectly happy in their perfect lives.
And they get turned on by letting people know who are normal, fallible human beings with urges, desires, doubts and to whom life isn't always easy, clear cut with all black and white choices, what horrible, vile disgusting, degenerate, ugly creatures they are for being that way and that they should be locked up in a cellar and be fed a bucket of fish heads once a week for the rest of their lives for daring to be flawed human beings.
Some people need the validation they get from judging others and looking down upon them and sneering.

Avatar MIA

dr.fuzzenstein wrote: »

All perfect people here, 20 years happily married to the perfect partner, who have perfect sex and are perfectly happy in their perfect lives.
And they get turned on by letting people know who are normal, fallible human beings with urges, desires, doubts and to whom life isn't always easy, clear cut with all black and white choices, what horrible, vile disgusting, degenerate, ugly creatures they are for being that way and that they should be locked up in a cellar and be fed a bucket of fish heads once a week for the rest of their lives for daring to be flawed human beings.
Some people need the validation they get from judging others and looking down upon them and sneering.

Don't be so judgemental of Judgemental people.

thesultan

If your sextings your husband I'm fairly sure there isn't a man who would turn that down.

pickarooney

thesultan wrote: »

If your sextings your husband I'm fairly sure there isn't a man who would turn that down.

Unless she's really bad at it.