To kill a mother-in-law

tiny timy

Has anyone else gotten rid of the MIL yet, or are you still going through the persecution?

Thank fcuk mine is gone in the next few hours.

Anyone else suffering?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Charming!

NIMAN

Ever watched Throw Mama from the Train.

Might get a few ideas there.

Avatar MIA

tiny timy wrote: »

Has anyone else gotten rid of the MIL yet, or are you still going through the persecution?

Thank fcuk mine is gone in the next few hours.

Anyone else suffering?

There's NO getting rid of her. In fact, you've married her future self. Any year now... Something for you to look forward to. :pac:

OnDraught

My wife's brother brought his new girlfriend home so I got away scot free from her ire this year. Happy days.

hairyslug

I have a plan, I had originally written it just incase I'm asked to write the script of the "non serious death" in a CSI episode but it can be used for such a scenario.

You have to bring her over to Vegas, to a party preferably on the top floor on a hi rise. It has to be on a warm yet rainy evening. There you need to have an ice sculpture be delivered to the top floor by crane. As the sculpture is delivered, have a few burly workmen get distracted and walk off leaving the ice sculpture on the edge of the building. Now you need to bring the M I L down stairs and outside for a smoke, under the ice sculpture. By some freak "accident" the ice sculpture falls, squashes the M-I-L, you walk off, remaining ice melts and dilutes into the rain. You fly home minus a MIL.

mad muffin

I see her on the Christmas. I see her on the Saint Stephens. I see her tomorrow on the wife’s birthday.

tiny timy

mad muffin wrote: »

I see her on the Christmas. I see her on the Saint Stephens. I see her tomorrow on the wife’s birthday.

My sympathies!

Ah yes. Harper Lee's first, rather less successful, attempt at a novel.

Lorelli!

tiny timy wrote: »

Anyone else suffering?

OP..."Things are always better in the morning"

My MiL was a lovely person, wish she'd have been around to meet her granddaughter, she'd have been beside herself with the excitement. But know they're rare, from what friends tell me about their in laws...

padd b1975

I got rid of mine when I got rid of the wife some years back.

server down

hairyslug wrote: »

I have a plan, I had originally written it just incase I'm asked to write the script of the "non serious death" in a CSI episode but it can be used for such a scenario.

You have to bring her over to Vegas, to a party preferably on the top floor on a hi rise. It has to be on a warm yet rainy evening. There you need to have an ice sculpture be delivered to the top floor by crane. As the sculpture is delivered, have a few burly workmen get distracted and walk off leaving the ice sculpture on the edge of the building. Now you need to bring the M I L down stairs and outside for a smoke, under the ice sculpture. By some freak "accident" the ice sculpture falls, squashes the M-I-L, you walk off, remaining ice melts and dilutes into the rain. You fly home minus a MIL.

I can see some minor flaws.

jokser250

mad muffin wrote: »

I see her on the Christmas. I see her on the Saint Stephens. I see her tomorrow on the wife’s birthday.

Unlucky

RhubarbCrumble

Mine lives 5 minutes away. I want to move. He won't. If she ever decides that she's moving in with us, then I'm gone. Not even joking. She truly is the manipulative b***h from hell

andekwarhola

I like mine although we don't see her as much as my mother because of distance.

She's like an old skool, rural version of Prince Philip and comes out fantastic unPC chestnuts, especially if you egg her on.

LirW

I'm surprised mine didn't poison herself with her own ghastly food.

(tbf though, she's a really nice person, just has her obnoxious days)

SEPT 23 1989

My mother in law was already dead when I arrived on the scene

Avatar MIA

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

My mother in law was already dead when I arrived on the scene

Jesus, that was forward planning!

BuboBubo

SEPT 23 1989 wrote: »

My mother in law was already dead when I arrived on the scene

Same here. Apparently she was a lovely woman too.

LirW

BuboBubo wrote: »

Same here. Apparently she was a lovely woman too.

They're all lovely when they're dead.

Lorelli!

Ive only been married once but I currently have 2 mother in laws and an ex mother in law so I have spares if anyone wants one? :pac:

Ah no, I'm fond of and get on well with them all

Avatar MIA

Lorelli! wrote: »

Ah no, I'm fond of and get on well with them all

IT'S OKAY! :eek:


This forum is anonymous :pac:

lazeedaisy

Mine is the traditional kind, the one the jokes are written for!

Irish mother's and their sons!!

Need I say any more!

tritriagain

If my mil ended up in hell the devil would leave and go to heaven

RobbingBandit

Anagram for Mother in law Woman Hitler.

Do it OP do it now tonight, we understand your reasons.

freshpopcorn

I'm not married but I always found the horrible mother in law interest from my observations of people I know and if I was told to pick a side I'd choose the mother in laws side in most cases.

tritriagain

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I'm not married but I always found the horrible mother in law interest from my observations of people I know and if I was told to pick a side I'd choose the mother in laws side in most cases.

I must tell you my story sometime. It might change your mind.

Avatar MIA

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I'm not married but

Yeah, you know what they say about what proceeds the word But...

Come back to us when you've walked the talk

freshpopcorn

tritriagain wrote: »

I must tell you my story sometime. It might change your mind.

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Yeah, you know what they say about what proceeds the word But...

Come back to us when you've walked the talk

It might. I'm just basing it on the stories that I already know.

freshpopcorn

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I'm not married but I always found the horrible mother in law interest from my observations of people I know and if I was told to pick a side I'd choose the mother in laws side in most cases.

Well in my case, my MiL was just a complete lady, a class act who doted on her only daughter but never once tried to interfere in her life or decisions except to support them, and us. Tbh I was probably more upset when she passed away than my own Dad...don't get me wrong, he was great, but his passing was a relief in the end as he'd had a number of strokes, her death was a complete shock.

judeboy101

Mililf

Avatar MIA

judeboy101 wrote: »

Mililf

Larbre34

You either put up with cr@p from people in life, or you dont, I really dont know why people put up with it more from a MiL and then gripe about it. Yes, I can understand you sacrifice for your spouse, but if there is a problem, why be a hypocrite?

I have some issues (shall we say philosophical differences) with my wifes mother and sister, my wife knows this so she doesnt push it and we keep it civil with a healthy formality at family events, so there is never any unpleasantness. But i do hear how my MiL talks about my fellow in-laws when theyre not around, so i imagine I get the same treatment in my absence, but keeping things the way they are means i dont actually give a feck.

corner of hells

MIL is fine , I have a bullet , can of petrol , grave dug , rope and cyanide for sister in law and her pox husband.

Crea

MIL lives abroad. She comes and visits maybe for 4 days every 2nd year when the husband turns into chef and housekeeper of the century and I want to beat him to death. Not her fault he turns into a knob. She's pretty ok but very boring.

Hector Savage

I have a handy acronym for my mother in law .

TFMOH.

Sure you can work it out ..

Rubberchikken

Bear in mind op you could be someones dreaded father/mother-in-law some day.

I never had one but i like to think we'd have got on great. After all we both loved the same person.

ArtSmart

Crea wrote: »

MIL lives abroad. She comes and visits maybe for 4 days every 2nd year when the husband turns into chef and housekeeper of the century and I want to beat him to death. Not her fault he turns into a knob. She's pretty ok but very boring.

Ask her to move in so...

lazeedaisy

Rubberchikken wrote: »

Bear in mind op you could be someones dreaded father/mother-in-law some day.

I never had one but i like to think we'd have got on great. After all we both loved the same person.

Unfortunately, this is real life and human nature.

My MIL doesn't love me, nor I doubt she actually hates me.

She's a difficult woman, her family put up with a lot, and occasionally, always she upsets family plans.

We all tread softly around her, when she's in form she's great, but she's had a hard life, but that's no excuse for bad behaviour.

I don't put up with the bad behaviour, I tolerate it. I do love her and have nursed her when ill. She's just an odd person and we live around it.

mr_edge_to_you

I have a path across the garden to my parents-in-law. We live right beside them. They both come over for tea/coffee throughout the day so we see them everyday. One of them will be over any minute now!

I am very lucky that my parents-in-law are the nicest people you could meet. My father in law cuts my lawn and helps with some DIY jobs, unfortunately my job means I’m not always around to do stuff like that. My mother in law is a lady and one of the kindest souls I’ve ever known.

They’re both amazing with our kids too which is really big plus!

(Sorry OP!)

the beer revolu

My wife and I were thrown out of her parents house one Christmas because I challenged the MIL on what I saw as unfair treatment of her granddaughter (my niece).
We had to pack our bags and see out the holiday with the sister.

Funny thing was that no one blamed me for the incident.

suicide_circus

my mil is a sweetheart so i'm lucky. if my ma ever gave any kind of abuse, criticism or ball breaking to my missus i'd tell the ma to cop herself on in no uncertain terms. not that she ever would, she's a class act.

RobbingBandit

Did ya do it op.

OU812

Although she does things that irritate me greatly - such as inviting herself, FIL as well as my BIL & his wife to Xmas dinner, simple fact is I wouldn’t be married to her daughter if it wasn’t for her.

She convinced the wife to give me a second chance after our first date.

Inviting the BIL & SIL really bugged me though. That was a step too far. But the wife told her this after the fact so she knows not to do it again.

suicide_circus

OU812 wrote: »

Although she does things that irritate me greatly - such as inviting herself, FIL as well as my BIL & his wife to Xmas dinner, simple fact is I wouldn’t be married to her daughter if it wasn’t for her.

She convinced the wife to give me a second chance after our first date.

Inviting the BIL & SIL really bugged me though. That was a step too far. But the wife told her this after the fact so she knows not to do it again.

What a thoughtless and rude thing to do. You can't invite people to someome elses house. Does she gave no self awareness?

worded

the beer revolu wrote: »

My wife and I were thrown out of her parents house one Christmas because I challenged the MIL on what I saw as unfair treatment of her granddaughter (my niece).
We had to pack our bags and see out the holiday with the sister.

Funny thing was that no one blamed me for the incident.

My god

DeanAustin

My MIL doesn’t like me and I don’t like her. I did respect her for a text she sent my wife a while back which passively aggressively told me where I stood quite brilliantly:

“We love you and the kids so much. And we even love Dean.”

Blazer

hairyslug wrote: »

I have a plan, I had originally written it just incase I'm asked to write the script of the "non serious death" in a CSI episode but it can be used for such a scenario.

You have to bring her over to Vegas, to a party preferably on the top floor on a hi rise. It has to be on a warm yet rainy evening. There you need to have an ice sculpture be delivered to the top floor by crane. As the sculpture is delivered, have a few burly workmen get distracted and walk off leaving the ice sculpture on the edge of the building. Now you need to bring the M I L down stairs and outside for a smoke, under the ice sculpture. By some freak "accident" the ice sculpture falls, squashes the M-I-L, you walk off, remaining ice melts and dilutes into the rain. You fly home minus a MIL.

What do you do if she doesn’t smoke?

OU812

suicide_circus wrote: »

What a thoughtless and rude thing to do. You can't invite people to someome elses house. Does she gave no self awareness?

Absolutely zero self awareness. Never had. Stuff like that has never occurred to her as being rude or out of place. She has absolutely no filter for things like that.

To be honest, while it annoyed me. Its the BIL & SIL who pissed me off. They accepted her invitation without clearing it with us. They knew we weren’t aware of it until a couple of days after the fact. SIL’s parents didn’t invite them because “they don’t do things like that”.

I said they should have invited the parents to their house because they’re only married a year and a bit & the response was “What would we know about cooking Xmas dinner. We’re newlyweds”. F***ing learn you freeloaders!

ToddyDoody

tiny timy wrote: »

Has anyone else gotten rid of the MIL yet, or are you still going through the persecution?

Thank fcuk mine is gone in the next few hours.

Anyone else suffering?

How about instead of killing her, just be as awkward as humanly possible.