Are you a people person?

donegaLroad

NollagShona wrote: »

teach others.

I'm a musician, and I've played for years all over the NW and Cork. Because of this I have managed to get to know a very large number of people. I agree some people talk a lot of sh1te, but I have learned that some people seem to have no-one that takes a personal interest in them, I enjoy lending an ear. Everyone has a story to tell. I'm not the type of person who approaches a total stranger and bombards them with torturous waffle.

kerryjack

Clair4 wrote: »

I hate people and even more so as i get older

I thought I was on my own. When I was a young lad and out on the pull I would chat up anything with a pulse now I don't give a ****e,

tastyt

Some people just think its now cool to declare they hate people, are socially awkward but happy that way and **** what people think, coz thats you know, cool man!

Anyone that needs or likes other people is weak

I love being alone and find crowds to be a bit overwhelming. Sometimes all I want is solitude yet I love people. The intricacies inside of them, the uniqueness and quirks. I could sit and watch them all day long. Many a person will respond to warmth and attention. It's quite amazing really. A simple "Oh that's my favourite book" and suddenly that person who seemed distant will open up.

I think it's very sad if you hate people. To have such an issue with the rest of the human race strikes me as odd. There are all of these experiences and hopes and fears within a single person and I love finding them out

Neames

My job involves dealing with lots of people, trying to get them to cooperate and this includes endless meetings and workshops, phonecalls and emails.

I like the job and also have a family of my own where there are people coming and going constantly.

So when I need some time out, I like my own company...spend it reading, out on a bike ride, hill walk or trip to the library. Great to clear the head.

OldMrBrennan83

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Dr Crayfish

Sometimes I won’t shut up and enjoy meeting and chatting with people, when I want to. When family or flat mates etc bring people around that have nothing to do with me I’ll gladly avoid and only exchange pleasantries if I have to. Love being alone probably too much these days.

Patww79

Patww79 wrote: »

That's fine and all but what's your reaction if, when you ask something about a book or something, they just turn away and don't respond. If someone gets the message and walks away at that stage then the first part is grand but if they push then they're a nuisance.

If someone came up to me to make small talk about something I had on me then my first reaction is what they want to scobe from me or what they want to scam out of me, so I'd just turn my back.

My reaction would be to leave them be. I'd assume they aren't interested in being engaged and that's it. There's nothing wrong with that though. It's the "I hate people" view that I find strange.

dd972

There's only two types of people I can be arsed with, family and friends.

Being unemployed for long stretches doesn't faze me either, plenty of time to attend to housebound hobbies and don't have to spend 40 plus hours a week in some hole with a shower of strangers, school and work are for superficial extroverts.

Sephiroth_dude

I'd be a quiet person by nature, I'm not a people's person at all or sociable really I like being alone but in saying that I love talking to people I have stuff in common with, wouldn't be one for striking up a conversation with someone that was sitting beside me if I was in a bar but if they started chatting to me I'd chat away with them the best I could.

Shaungoater

It's not that I dislike people and socialising perse, it's more that most people I talk to outside my circle of friends tend to be dicks. The place I work currently I have for the last three years. Forty of us, I just find them all fake and annoying.

21Savage

I record my Dominos pizza order before I call up

boardsuser1

Despite being in a job where I deal with people everyday I try to avoid as much contact as possible.

I was once described as the thread title by a former colleague.

ROAAAR

One would Imagine that if one were in fact a ‘people person’ that one would yes indeed be a ‘person’.

So, no!

paddylonglegs

I can last about 2 hours with the small talk thing. Anything after that and I get incredibly anxious about what I'll talk about

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

anna080 wrote: »

I have a limited social battery. The Christmas season has almost depleted it. I love being around people but in all honestly I find it quite exhausting and tbh I love nothing more than being home in my own company, closing the door on the outer world with the tv on and the dog beside me alone with my own thoughts.

I usually use the analogy of socialising being like having a **** to porn. Very urgent need sometimes, very very interested and focused on it for a short period of time and then immediately after it's served its purpose it's "oh god, bleh,close that down right now please, what are they...bleh".

Social battery though. Think that's the analogy to crack out for small talk.

paddylonglegs

paddylonglegs wrote: »

I can last about 2 hours with the small talk thing. Anything after that and I get incredibly anxious about what I'll talk about

2 hours..Jesus..
After about 15 minutes I'm like "ah, so have you seen any good movies lately?.."

paddylonglegs

[Deleted User] wrote: »

2 hours..Jesus..
After about 15 minutes I'm like "ah, so have you seen any good movies lately?.."

Yeah 2 hours seems like a lot of time. It's generally not a 1 on 1, but interspersed with some excuse to leave the room

Sephiroth_dude

I hate when out with a group of people and even in school I would have people come up to me and say "why are you so quiet?" it really bugged me :mad: . I was at a boards meetup in September (lovely people ) and we were all sat around a table chatting and I was the quiet one just sat back and observed and listened to people and throw in a few words here and there, no judgement from them for being quiet, I loved it and felt at ease and comfortable .

AllForIt

donegaLroad wrote: »

I also think that it's regional. People from particular parts of Ireland are warmer than others.

That is true to a point. When I came back to live in Ireland (not Dublin) I was struck by the warmth of the ppl in my locale. The staff in places like chemists and receptions in various establishments and general shop staff too I suppose. I don't have that quality with ppl I don't know and tend to blank ppl I kinda know when I see them on the street but when I know someone I'm highly chatty and personable.

dd972

donegaLroad wrote: »

I also think that it's regional. People from particular parts of Ireland are warmer than others. I have lived all over the country and this has been my experience, generally speaking.

Navan for example, I found difficult to engage with people.

Derry, Cork and Dublin.. no hassle

That is true and am surprised there aren't more threads on that, I've always found the border counties and midlanders a bit on the dour side.

Lia_lia

paddylonglegs wrote: »

Do you think you were always able to "chat" or did you develop and get better at it because of the role you were in?

No, wasn't always able to. I was a quiet child/young teen and it was only when I started working in jobs where I had to talk to people (from a young age) that I developed these chatting skills.

ArchXStanton

Was very sociable when I was younger,these days more of a 4 wall hermit,I think I've seen all that I've wanted to see

ChikiChiki

For my job I need to be a people person when engaging with various stakeholders. I have no problem with that. However outside of work, I find it difficult to hold and maintain small talk. Walking into a group of people is something I would spend time working up the courage to do.

Beasty

I love a bit of solitude. I've always been a deep thinker, and regularly get comments that I overthink things, which I very much acknowledge to be the case. I'm not one for social occasions, but I find it difficult not to get on with pretty much everyone I meet. I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt - look at things their way and try to understand why someone else's view differs from my own. That's where the solitude and deep thinking come in.

There's an example at work of someone who winds everyone, including me, up regularly. I tend not to hold it against him. I'll adapt to accommodate him - guess it means I don't feel as negatively about others as some do

ShotgunRider

I am a social butterfly in my head and even in my heart, but quite lonely in reality as I am socially awkward. I am very kind and terribly soft hearted to my detriment. I have read this site faithfully every day for years and made many a profile. I have posted once or twice then lost confidence and skidaddled.

I would like to have the confidence to stay but I only seem to have that confidence after a few drinks....hence, here I am again. I love Boards. I think it's a great site with some really good people. I follow some threads here faithfully every day, I have cried and laughed here with you for a long time..

I hope I stay this time. I think most people are good. I think there are others here just like me. I have made one or two friends online over the years who I have never met but they trust me implicitly and I them. If I could only translate how I am when I write to who I am when I speak, I guess I would not be seen as eccentric. But eccentric I am.

So in my heart I am a people person. In reality, I am quite the loner.

Mountainsandh

Same here as other posters who hold "social" jobs.
I have to be a people person at work, it's a huge part of the job.

Outside of work, I'm able for some small talk and a bit of interaction when needed, but I tend to avoid it and prefer to enjoy some quiet time with my own thoughts and activities.

I would be very distressed if I didn't get time to "regroup" with my own self every day, but I'm very well able to skip social interaction for a longer while.

justfillmein

no.

I like people in small doses.
I feel like its a chore to entertain people too often.

and I don't even like pets either. so i'm not a people person, OR a pet person:D

JackTaylorFan

I would say I'm somewhere in between - my Myers-Briggs personality (if you subscribe to that) is almost equally introverted as is it extroverted...

I don't enjoy large groups - but this should not automatically disqualify me as a "people person"...

I'll talk to anyone as long as they are civil ...

And I don't go out of my way to make people feel uncomfortable unless they make me feel uncomfortable first...

paddylonglegs

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

I would say I'm somewhere in between - my Myers-Briggs personality (if you subscribe to that) is almost equally introverted as is it extroverted...

I don't enjoy large groups - but this should not automatically disqualify me as a "people person"...

I'll talk to anyone as long as they are civil ...

And I don't go out of my way to make people feel uncomfortable unless they make me feel uncomfortable first...

I actually prefer large groups, because I know there will be plenty of conversation and not as much pressure on everyone to talk as much. But I would hate to be the centre of that large group, unless I need to speak on something specific.

JackTaylorFan

paddylonglegs wrote: »

I actually prefer large groups, because I know there will be plenty of conversation and not as much pressure on everyone to talk as much.

I feel exactly the opposite - I feel really awkward just sitting there with either nothing to say to people or not being given the opportunity to speak (talked over). I sometimes feel guilty in smaller groups if I monopolize the conversation too

Wibbs

People person here. Though do need some alone time. Which is normal.

Shaungoater wrote: »

It's not that I dislike people and socialising perse, it's more that most people I talk to outside my circle of friends tend to be dicks. The place I work currently I have for the last three years. Forty of us, I just find them all fake and annoying.

What's that old saw along the lines of; if you meet one dick today then you've met a dick, but if everyone you meet is a dickhead, then maybe you're the dick? That's not a slight at you and you have a circle of mates, but I'd start to ask questions of myself if I started to think the majority of people out there were ****.

Westernyelp

Love a lot of people. Not interested in the rest. Im sure your cool an all but. My book is full. Best of luck with it though!

OldMrBrennan83

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js35

I’m definitely not a people person very socially arkward and basically have withdrawn from society over the past few years.
It’s like my motto in life is if I don’t let anybody in I cannot get hurt

Wibbs

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

They're really not. They're just people for the most part, people with their own strengths and foibles and most of the time they're pretty OK.

I suppose it's how one views the world. If you think it's a dark place and people are pricks, then you will find enough evidence to reinforce this view. Similarly if you think the world is a pretty OK place and people are generally sound, then you will also find enough evidence to reinforce that view. The latter view is a more content and objectively healthier worldview to have and live with.

OldMrBrennan83

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no.8

NollagShona wrote:

Aren’t you just a little trooper!

They gave their honest opinion. Nothing wrong with that.

AnneFrank

js35 wrote: »

I’m definitely not a people person very socially arkward and basically have withdrawn from society over the past few years.
It’s like my motto in life is if I don’t let anybody in I cannot get hurt

My thoughts exactly

NollagShona

no.8 wrote: »

They gave their honest opinion. Nothing wrong with that.

This was for people on the margins, not the happy middle. It was I. The op

RobbingBandit

Nope can't even seem to make imaginary friends let alone real ones, smelling like Katy Bates in heat doesn't help though.

I’m fine with people, was a bit shyer when I was younger like most people I’d say but if I’m at a gathering with friends and there are people there who we are all unfamiliar with I’ll usually be the first to strike up conversation. I don’t think it’s healthy to “hate people”. I mean youre going to spend the rest of your life having to interact with them at work and in general so it’d always be better if you didn’t feel negatively towards others as a default, but everyone has their reasons I’m sure. Seeing so many people say such things here makes me wonder how boards can have such a centre-left, politically correct bent to it - surely that’s at odds with “hating people”?

Vela

I like my own company and definitely not a "people person" by nature. But I can switch it on when/as needed.

justfillmein

so I can safely presume that nobody will be organizing any meet ups in here:pac:

pauliebdub

It depends on my mood, I need to be in the right mood to go out, otherwise I'll just stay in. When I do go out I tend to enjoy myself and I like engaging with family and friends.

soups05

i used to be a people person, 20 years in retail changed that. now i just wanna kill you all.











well, not all, but most.

Hector Bellend

People are a great big pain in my swiss.

If I had my way people could all go and f**k off

s7ryf3925pivug

Neither of those. Not a social animal, but I'm pretty outspoken, dispute my inability to read non-obvious facial expressions or social cues.

DoozerT6

I have found that a combination of my job (public facing, oh joy!!) and living alone for several years has changed me. I'm generally 'all out of spoons' when I finish work, so when I come home to an empty apartment, I quite like it - but conversely, that has had the effect of turning me into a bit of a hermit. I go for long periods without actually having a conversation with anybody outside of my work (in person) or immediate family (usually by phone).

These days, I go to great lengths to avoid socialising, especially outside of my family. Sad, I know. Back in my heyday, I would have no problem chatting to people day-to-day. I would also do myself up, head into town with a friend or two and have a night out every couple of weeks. Nowadays, due to my self-esteem being in my boots for various reasons, that would be my idea of hell.

Ideally, I would like to win the Lotto (me and everyone else of course), not have to work, maybe volunteer someplace a few hours a week, and build up a social life that way. While I enjoy my own company, I would hate to become a statistic: an old lady who died in her home, and nobody found her for months - because nobody missed her. Human interaction is important, in varying degrees depending on the individual of course, but still. Everybody needs somebody.

Rubberlegs

I find that my people skills reflect how I am in general. I agonise over things far too much and overthink things, get myself in a heap over small situations. When I am actually involved in doing whatever it is I am grand and look back on it wondering why did I lose sleep over something so trivial. I feel sick sometimes at the thoughts of being around people, especially those I don't know well, but when I am in the thick of it I manage to make small talk and hold my own. I am usually the one that sits in the front of the taxi and talks sh1te with the taxi driver . There will always be a part of me though that will worry that people think I am a weirdo coming from people repeatedly pointing out to me how quiet/shy I was as a child