How can I sober up in less than an hour?

Yester

Basicly I went on the lash with the lads last night and it ended up a 5 o clock in the morning job. Suffering today and I I met one of my friends from last night who suggested the cure. We had 3 pints. I'm just back from that and I feel locked. I have dinner with the in-laws at 8 o clock. Any suggestions? Don't say coffee that will only make me worse.

pjohnson

Yester wrote: »

Basicly I went on the lash with the lads last night and it ended up a 5 o clock in the morning job. Suffering today and I I met one of my friends from last night who suggested the cure. We had 3 pints. I'm just back from that and I feel locked. I have dinner with the in-laws at 8 o clock. Any suggestions? Don't say coffee that will only make me worse.

Litre of whiskey. Drink it in 90 seconds. You wont be worried about dinner then.

Tell me how

Yester wrote:

Basicly I went on the lash with the lads last night and it ended up a 5 o clock in the morning job. Suffering today and I I met one of my friends from last night who suggested the cure. We had 3 pints. I'm just back from that and I feel locked. I have dinner with the in-laws at 8 o clock. Any suggestions? Don't say coffee that will only make me worse.

Upset stomach, need to stay near/on toilet. Avoid dinner.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Speed.

Are Am Eye

Tea.

Digital Solitude

Start horsing pints of water into ya, drink until you're sick and then drink some more.

Stop at 10 or so though, hyperhydration isn't nice

JimmyMcGill

Pfft. Typing whilst drunk. No such thing.

Yester

Tell me how wrote: »

Upset stomach, need to stay near/on toilet. Avoid dinner.

I'm feeling great. I'm more worried about my impending behaviour.

Kivaro

Another 3 pints will definitely cure you.

ceadaoin.

Power nap? And no more booze!

Beasty

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Speed.

FFS!! Don't encourage him to get in a car:eek:


:pac:

Yester

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Speed.

I'm horsing pints of water and tea from other considerate posters. You just want to watch the world burn don't you?

Noveight

May God have mercy on your soul.

Yester

ceadaoin. wrote: »

Power nap? And no more booze!

Tried that. Way too amped up for power nap and now I'm sourcing spped. Thank you Princess Consuela Bananahammock.

Schwanz

If you're locked I can't imagine an hour would cure ya?

Water I suppose might help to get the gargle out of ya

RDM_83 again

Cold shower a short time before you meet them

Mr.Crinklewood

Freezing cold shower.

Chrongen

Kivaro wrote: »

Another 3 pints will definitely cure you.

Once you start eating the dinner you'll be grand. Have a litre of water and then crack open another can of beer. They'll think you only had a cheeky pint even though you've been on the piss for a day and a half.

bear1

**** and force a drunk poop out.
Be grand.
Other than that and with utter seriousness don't go near the ****ing in laws.

Are Am Eye

Yester wrote: »

I have dinner with the in-laws at 8 o clock. Any suggestions?

Trying to be on your best behavior for these people is giving them the upper hand. Have a few more drinks and try to make yourself look (more) like a tramp. Let them know who's running the extended family now.

dmc17

Have a bottle of beer with them when you meet them. They'll just think you're a lightweight

Yester

My main problem is my mouth when I'm drinking. So If (and it is an if ) I can stay quiet for the first hour or so, I might get away with it. I suspect I look like death though. I will drink tea and water in a freezing cold shower,

Lemsiper

Yester wrote: »

I'm horsing pints of water and tea from other considerate posters. You just want to watch the world burn don't you?

This is definitely a legitimate suggestion. Enough to stimulate but not so much that you get high.

Yester

Are Am Eye wrote: »

Trying to be on your best behavior for these people is giving them the upper hand. Have a few more drinks and try to make yourself look (more) like a tramp. Let them know who's running the extended family now.

Thanks a fu$$king million! Thats in my head now. I'm going to have another drink and walk in there and show them who is boss. ( Only joking. They are actually lovely people, just a little less wild than me)

xabi

Vomit

JackTaylorFan

swallow some activated charcoal... or if no charcoal lick a lump of ordinary coal

Yester

Lemsiper wrote: »

This is definitely a legitimate suggestion. Enough to stimulate but not so much that you get high.

I'm sure it is and thanks. It just makes me more talky to be honest. I don't have any anyway.

Yester

xabi wrote: »

Vomit

NEVER!!!

hairyslug

There's a thread around here somewhere about how to kill the mother in law, maybe considered a bit extreme but might be worth a quick read, could save you a lot of hassle in the long run.

Yester

JackTaylorFan wrote: »

swallow some activated charcoal... or if no charcoal lick a lump of ordinary coal

Seriously? I do have coal, but it's not like I'm pregent or anything. How does that work? I have coal and I will lick it if it helps.

Littlehorny

dmc17 wrote: »

Have a bottle of beer with them when you meet them. They'll just think you're a lightweight

Put water in beer bottles and skull them fairly quickly in front of them and say things like, jaysus I'm in the mood for a few beers tonight. They will think your just getting a bit tippsy for the night that's in it.

q85dw7osi4lebg

Irish Coffee. 60% of the time it works every time.

super_furry

Cocaine.

Yester

hairyslug wrote: »

There's a thread around here somewhere about how to kill the mother in law, maybe considered a bit extreme but might be worth a quick read, could save you a lot of hassle in the long run.

If I didn't actually like her that would help. But that said It would get me out of an awkard dinner tonight. She is driving down Dublin as we speak. Anyone have any links to a good hitman?

Mod

banned for trying to hire a hitman.

RobbingBandit

Blood transfusion or something like that

Have you thought about breaking up with your partner, then calling them tomorrow to say you made a big mistake

RobbingBandit

Prestochango is good advice just walk in ass naked making a move on your mil could be a fun evening

Yester

Deleted User wrote: »

Have you thought about breaking up with your partner, then calling them tomorrow to say you made a big mistake

My hat is off to you sir. I shall ring her now with the news.

Specialun

Yester wrote: »

My main problem is my mouth when I'm drinking. So If (and it is an if ) I can stay quiet for the first hour or so, I might get away with it. I suspect I look like death though. I will drink tea and water in a freezing cold shower,

what about the poo

beertons

Few spliffs, be grand.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Yester wrote: »

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Speed.

I'm horsing pints of water and tea from other considerate posters. You just want to watch the world burn don't you?

Just sat you've been a bit sick and blame any paux faus in side - effects of the meds!

Yester

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Prestochango is good advice just walk in ass naked making a move on your mil could be a fun evening

This is the kind of thing I am trying to avoid.

Tell me how

Go to a different restaurant and then ring your wife to ask where are they?

Drag out making it to the restaurant until you are sober. Walk the distance. Or swim. Swimming helps me get rid of hangovers.

Aidric

Have you seen the move Flight?

Yester

Specialun wrote: »

what about the poo

I've watched enough American movies to know to poo before I go out.

Tilikum17

Cocaine.

JackTaylorFan

Yester wrote: »

? I have coal and I will lick it if it helps.

Sure, it can't do any harm - give it a go, OP

Yester

Aidric wrote: »

Have you seen the move Flight?

Yes I have hee hee

Yester

Shameful Display wrote: »

Nothing you can do. You almost certainly stink and look a mess. You'll try to hard to appear sober at dinner and everyone will just think you're weird.

Thats where you are wrong. I will sit there licking my lump of coal and they will think I am charming.

Yester

Tilikum17 wrote: »

Cocaine.

I'm going to drink a can of coke now because of you.

Beanntraigheach

There's nothing you can do.

But look on the bright side: your inebriated state will give you the courage to finally tell your mother-in-law how deeply sexually attractive you find her.