How can I sober up in less than an hour?

JackTaylorFan

OP, seriously though.. I think you need to face the futility of your situation.

Roofie the entire family and forget about 2017

Yester

Beanntraigheach wrote: »

There's nothing you can do.

But look on the bright side: your inebriated state will give you the courage to finally tell your mother-in-law how deeply sexually attractive you find her.

This is also the sort of thing I am trying to avoid. I'm having a can of coke because sugar helps apparently

Lorelli!

Just make an excuse and don't go op.

If you do go, let us know how it turns out and good luck

Feisar

Doubt you have smelling salts on hand but they might help. However there is bugger all to be done at this stage.

I think the three pints will wear off though in time, you might feel locked as a result of basically topping up but I don't think its the same as actually being hammered.

Besides the fact you are compos mentis at the moment, i.e. worrying about your situation tells me you're grand.

Yester

Ok. I'm trying to put my game face on here. The mother-in-law got me a shirt for xmas so I'm going to wear that. I did have a cold so I might use that as an excuse as well.

foxatron

Can you do one of those facebook live streams of the whole thing. I bet that would help.

Yester

Feisar wrote: »

Doubt you have smelling salts on hand but they might help. However there is bugger all to be done at this stage.

I think the three pints will wear off though in time, you might feel locked as a result of basically topping up but I don't think its the same as actually being hammered.

Besides the fact you are compos mentis at the moment, i.e. worrying about your situation tells me you're grand.

Cheers. That actually gives me a bit of confidence. BTW Mullingar is an awesome town.

Yester

foxatron wrote: »

Can you do one of those facebook live streams of the whole thing. I bet that would help.

I still have my old nokia phone but if I had an iphone I would stream it for your viewing pleasure.

RobbingBandit

To alcohol the cause of and solutions to all of life's problems

Yester

RobbingBandit wrote: »

To alcohol the cause of and solutions to all of life's problems

Cheers Homer

Beanntraigheach

Try an enema!

It mightn't sober you up much but it'll do your bowels the world of good.

Tell me how

Yester wrote:

Ok. I'm trying to put my game face on here. The mother-in-law got me a shirt for xmas so I'm going to wear that. I did have a cold so I might use that as an excuse as well.

Big mistake wearing that shirt. It'll draw attention to you because she'll keeping looking at you and asking others "Do you like Yesters shirt?" forcing them to look at you.

Last suggestion. Hit a break glass unit to evacuate the building. It'll buy you some time and the adrenalin should explain your wide eyes.

Yester

I'm just going to be honest. They are good people. I'll thank them for inviting me to their home and say that xmas is a busy social time for everyone and thanks for the gifts and ye never thought I was good enough for ye're daughter did ye?
It will be grand.

Yester

Tell me how wrote: »

Big mistake wearing that shirt. It'll draw attention to you because she'll keeping looking at you and asking others "Do you like Yesters shirt?" forcing them to look at you.

Last suggestion. Hit a break glass unit to evacuate the building. It'll buy you some time and the adrenalin should explain your wide eyes.

Fecks sake. I have it on now. Feck sake.

RobbingBandit

Yester wrote: »

Cheers Homer

That's Mr Plow to you Mr in the jail house now

Middle Man

Yester wrote: »

Basicly I went on the lash with the lads last night and it ended up a 5 o clock in the morning job. Suffering today and I I met one of my friends from last night who suggested the cure. We had 3 pints. I'm just back from that and I feel locked. I have dinner with the in-laws at 8 o clock. Any suggestions? Don't say coffee that will only make me worse.

Well, here's a solution to sobering up in zero seconds:

Don't drink - simple as!

Fann Linn

Middle Man wrote: »

Well, here's a solution to sobering up in zero seconds:

Don't drink - simple as!

Grinch.

SimonLynch

I worked in the city centre years ago. An American lad from rural Ohio joined the company. We took him out for the Ireland v Saudi Arabia world cup finals match in Howl at the Moon on the night he was meeting the parents of his Canadian fiancee for the first time. She phoned to see where he was and woke him from his slumbers in a bed of flowers in Merrion Square. He still thought it was a good idea to meet them. They're married for years now and I hope to visit them and their lovely daughters in the States next year. No use to you really but might give you hope.

Yester

Middle Man wrote: »

Well, here's a solution to sobering up in zero seconds:

Don't drink - simple as!

OMG Is that you Captian Hindsight? I'm a big fan!

Yester

SimonLynch wrote: »

I worked in the city centre years ago. An American lad from rural Ohio joined the company. We took him out for the Ireland v Saudi Arabia world cup finals match in Howl at the Moon on the night he was meeting the parents of his Canadian fiancee for the first time. She phoned to see where he was and woke him from his slumbers in a bed of flowers in Merrion Square. He still thought it was a good idea to meet them. They're married for years now and I hope to visit them and their lovely daughters in the States next year. No use to you really but might give you hope.

If only they were Canadian. weed is legal they now isn't it?

Bunny Colvin

Maybe take it easy and tell them you had a couple of pints with the lads for New Years. Sure It'd be worse if you didn't get the cure!

Purple Mountain

Your typing is very coherent so I call drama queen!

maccored

it was the mother in law in disguise

dmc17

Middle Man wrote: »

Well, here's a solution to sobering up in zero seconds:

Don't drink - simple as!

Yester wrote: »

OMG Is that you Captian Hindsight? I'm a big fan!

RobbingBandit

Give the ex my number 5553226

Feisar

well, how did it go!?!

3 cure pints and you are hammered? You are some light weight!

TerrorFirmer

Oliver Millions Vitamin wrote: »

3 cure pints and you are hammered? You are some light weight!

Yeah, I would've said have another can or two between then and the dinner at 8, have a few more with the dinner, and just enjoy the night.

The_Valeyard

I think they killed him.

foxatron

It was a good thread while it lasted. Im waiting for the news headlines to see how it all ended.

Yester

Nothing exciting to report. It was grand. I did get in a bit of a fight with the OH after because apparently I was looking at the clock the whole time I was there. but that's just because I was looking at the clock the whole time I was there. We're all good again. Happy New Year and all that jazz.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Yester wrote: »

Nothing exciting to report. It was grand. I did get in a bit of a fight with the OH after because apparently I was looking at the clock the whole time I was there. but that's just because I was looking at the clock the whole time I was there. We're all good again. Happy New Year and all that jazz.

The fact that it took you the guts of thirty hours to report back would indicate this might not be entirely the truth...!

Yester

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

The fact that it took you the guts of thirty hours to report back would indicate this might not be entirely the truth...!

Well it was followed by a New Years Eve party and I'm just back from a New Years Day get togehter with friends. I have a lot going on.

Jesus Shaves

Yester wrote: »

Well it was followed by a New Years Eve party and I'm just back from a New Years Day get togehter with friends. I have a lot going on.

I call bullsh1t on the whole thing

Yester

Jesus Shaves wrote: »

I call bullsh1t on the whole thing

Can't argue with Shaved Jesus.

"I don't care if it rains or freezes
As long as I've got my hairless Jesus
Calling bullsh1t on the whole damn thing"