New Friends

My username here

Hi there,

Strange request I know but can anyone give me some guidance. Myself and my wife have been married a while and have a baby who is over 6 months now. She moved from another her home town, and works in another county. We have a great relationship but my wife struggles to make new friends. Because she works in another county she doesn’t have any work friends who live nearby and isn’t a massively sporty person so sports groups are not an option. We live in an estate with lots of nice people but they are all semi-retirement age or thereabouts.

She has tried the Mummy and Baby classes and I think has been unlucky in that she has changed classes a few times and not been there for the start of a group so never stayed with the same Mams.

She lately has started getting down as its becoming an issue for her, but not just saying it because she’s my wife but she is great craic, loves good fun, going out, all the normal things but just hasn’t got the girls to do it with. Anyone tell me if they have encountered this or has ideas?

freshpopcorn

Not sure if this is the correct forum but could she try an evening class in something she likes or have a bit of an interest in baking/gardening/etc.
Is their any tidy towns group etc in the area?
A walking group/etc if she's not into sport.
Has she or yourself any siblings that could bring her along to something?

Get her to try a yoga class. I've met loads of women (and some men) of different ages in the various classes I've gone to over the years and have stayed in touch with a good few. I've moved now so I'm not in close proximity but it was a great place to just meet people.

If she likes going to the gym there might be some Saturday morning class where she'll meet other women at her stage in life. Or join a running or walking group.

If she's not the active type she could join a book club, go to one of those Meetups (I haven't been but people here say good things about them), and if she really feels she's losing out by working in another county, she could consider moving jobs closer to home and try to get more ties to her immediate community.

Your Face

You could try a meet up website for your area.

Roger Hassenforder

If youre in rural ireland, try Macra?

corner of hells

I'm male and have no solution for you , but how observant and thoughtful of you.

tomwaterford

What about doing night classes etc in something she do be interested in....my mam used end up making friends that way


But may bit be unrealistic with a Lil kid??

BabysCoffee

Try your local library. Most have Baby Storytimes or Parent &Toddler Times that are an informal way of making friends.

misstearheus

Try posting on Gumtree or the Regional Forums here on Boards. If there's no Mother n' Baby Group set up already, perhaps it could be an idea to see in the Regional Forums on here, - if there'd be other Mammys in your area that would like to meet up for a Coffee or something...

Touchee

There is a group on Facebook and also an app called Girl Crew. It is a closed group, with around 10k members, aimed at women trying to find new friends. I recommend your wife gives it a try, there a newbie events set up regularly, plus loads of other activities going on.

biko

Tell her to get a boards account. We're great friends here

Joeseph Balls

Touchee wrote: »

There is a group on Facebook and also an app called Girl Crew. It is a closed group, with around 10k members, aimed at women trying to find new friends. I recommend your wife gives it a try, there a newbie events set up regularly, plus loads of other activities going on.

Thing with them is, some mad yoke will latch on to your wife and when she tells her to **** off, she's the worst in the world.
An activity where making friends isn't the main objective would be best.

Ken.

Mod- Locked for a move. Give me a few minutes while I see where I can move it too. Suggestions by pm welcome.

Ken.

Mod-Thread reopened as I've no idea where to put this. OP where in the country are you and I could move it to the regional forum if you wish.

PandaPoo

I moved to a different county, no friends, young kids.

I did an evening course and made good friends there, also when my son started play school and primary school I made friends with the other mothers.

jimmycrackcorm

Once the kids goes to school then the mums start to develop friendships.

the_syco

What county are you in?

Also, look at meetup.com - can be great for finding stuff to do nearby that you may have otherwise not known about.

coolegrain

isnt this what local pubs were invented for ?

Buford T. Justice XIX

PandaPoo wrote: »

I moved to a different county, no friends, young kids.

I did an evening course and made good friends there, also when my son started play school and primary school I made friends with the other mothers.

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

Once the kids goes to school then the mums start to develop friendships.

+1

I know it looks a long way away as yet but once kids start at playschool/creche, there will be invitations to and from other kids in the groups to go to their houses for weekend afternoons or evenings. We would still be in frequent touch with parents we met during the kids creche days even though the kids would all be in different schools to our kids.

And that x1000 when kids go to school.

Don't lose hope, OP, it can be a very lonely time after moving away from home for your OH but evening classes or just taking time to do something she enjoys will open up opportunities for meeting people.

dixiefly

The OP's wife is working in another county. That would severely restrict the number of times she will be able to do the drop in and out of school and that is when most of the ice breaking takes place.

It might be an idea to join the parents association for the school. Another thought, are there any hiking groups in the area or do the local athletics do a weekly session for novices / walkers?

Daisy78

Just out of curiosity, why did she not stick with any of the mother and baby groups she joined? I can appreciate that it can be difficult to break into an already established group when you are the newbie but did she give them a chance? It may be a moot point now as she seems to be back at work. Did she ever consider establishing her own group? These things don't happen by themselves, sometimes you have to be a bit more proactive when it comes to making connections with people. Is she artistic/creative in any way? Choirs and musical societies are a great way to meet people. Also book clubs, if there isn't one nearby perhaps she could organise something herself?

freshpopcorn

Just a thing your wife might need to note is friendship might be different from when she was younger or in the area she grew up. Does she know what she's looking for?

My username here

Sorry for the late reply we've had a busy few months.... thanks a mill for all the replies folks. To answer some questions raised see below and all ideas welcome.

Our little one is going to a childminder not creche so that will minimise the contact with other mums, as someone says working in another county is not helpful.

She has done the baby massage and the baby yoga but both are for newborns, the clubs are quite inclusive so the fact that she did not feed the baby herself (although planned to and tried) means that the biggest group which is for breast feeding ups is a no no.

Neither of us are massive drinkers so the pub is not really an option.

lurker2000

I'd advise her to start a book club. I'm in one and it's very enjoyable. Meeting once a month with each member only hosting one night a year ( 8 members, off for summer months and Christmas). My friends sister joined one where no one knew each other initially and 10 years later they are still going strong. The discussions can be interesting and the bonding and chat will follow. Get her to put a notice up at one of the mother and baby groups or the local library.

RhubarbCrumble

Joeseph Balls wrote: »

Thing with them is, some mad yoke will latch on to your wife and when she tells her to **** off, she's the worst in the world.

I suspect we were in the same Girl Crew group. Clique doesn't even begin to describe it.

Donald Trump

Is she hot?


Did the baby do much damage on the way out?



If the answers are respectively "yes" and "no", tell her to PM The Donald