Living alone, yay or nay?

KERSPLAT!

Reading this makes me really appreciate my situation. Sharing but rarely seeing my housemate (A few times a month at most) and who I know my while life so any issues are fairly easily sorted.

Right now I'd prefer my own place but this is the next best thing

John_Rambo

KERSPLAT! wrote: »

Reading this makes me really appreciate my situation. Sharing but rarely seeing my housemate (A few times a month at most) and who I know my while life so any issues are fairly easily sorted.

Right now I'd prefer my own place but this is the next best thing

Yeah, agreed, coming from someone that was lucky enough to be able to buy on my own and live on my own in a time when it was possible, I do feel for very hard working people that simply can't, no matter how hard they work and save.

I don't mean that in a smug way like some of the live alone posters here do.

Thich Nhat Hanh

I live alone and love it. I did my fair share of flat sharing over the years. I have plenty of friends and am very interactive but I really don’t want to have to talk to people when I get home. I know I’m lucky I don’t know what I’d do if I hadn’t got a place before prices went nuts again.

Pac1Man

As the revolutionary Viet Cong leader Ho Chi Minh once said:

"Much prefer living on me own to be honest. Don't have to deal with dried bolognese sauce residue on the counter in the morning when all I want is a bowl of Weetabix before me morning walk along the local trail."

Alone, though that includes with my girlfriend. We lived in shared accommodation years ago, and while it's fine, we both work from home now and want peace and quiet.

My brother is gonna stay with us for a while now soon but he's sound and is the only other person I'd want living with us.

Noveight

No, it wouldn't be for me. I lived alone in college digs for 2 weeks as all the housemates had finished exams early and gone home. It was great for getting study done but eerily quiet at times.

ANDREWMUFC

Go to the pub or bookies that’s the best way to pass time

smilerf

I am disabled and I live with my parents. I have disabled friends who have moved out of their family home just so they can prove they can be independent. Good for them but personally I don't understand it. Going from having company to living alone I would hate tht

Baron Kurtz

Patww79 wrote: »

I don't know really, maybe it's not, but I couldn't do it. You'd know for a start that all the staff would be talking about the weirdo on his own. People always feel the need to make conversation too like you're some sort of weirdo magnet.
I stop at rest stop petrol stations all the time for lunches because of my job but one day someone decided to join me and annoy me while I was trying to eat, so ever since then I bring it out and eat in the car. People should just leave you alone.

Your last few posts raised an eyebrow, but this confirms you have a few issues that might need addressing.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

seamus

Baron Kurtz wrote: »

Your last few posts raised an eyebrow, but this confirms you have a few issues that might need addressing.

Nah, he doesn't. I get it. I wouldn't be quite that bad - if eating at my desk wasn't an option then I'd probably just suck it up and go sit in the work canteen and hope nobody sits down.
He doesn't have "issues", it's that he would prefer to sit in silence in his own company than share an awkward silence with someone he barely knows, or have "that guy" sit down and yammer at him about sports or some other inane topic while he forces his food down as fast as possible so he can go back to work.

On the OP's topic, I expect the feeling of loneliness is proportional to the size of the property. If you're living in a large house on your own, gonna be a bit lonely. If it's a small apartment, being alone is probably bliss.
I lived alone in my brother's house for a few months and it was bliss. We got a lodger in, he was a nice guy, worked shift and went back "home" whenever he had a long break, so that worked well. But when he was not on shift and decided to hang around for a few days, it was definitely less comfortable; two adults trying not to intrude into eachother's space in a standard 3-bed house is not comfortable.
When my brother moved home, it was way easier to share with him than a stranger, naturally.

RacoonQueen

seamus wrote: »

Nah, he doesn't. I get it. I wouldn't be quite that bad - if eating at my desk wasn't an option then I'd probably just suck it up and go sit in the work canteen and hope nobody sits down.
He doesn't have "issues", it's that he would prefer to sit in silence in his own company than share an awkward silence with someone he barely knows, or have "that guy" sit down and yammer at him about sports or some other inane topic while he forces his food down as fast as possible so he can go back to work.

Yeah...I would often (during the summer) go to my car at lunch, read my book and eat lunch. Suns shining outside, windows down. Peace to loose myself in my book.
Remember getting back from lunch one day, early summer and one of my colleagues asking me what I did for lunch.
Told him I went to my car to read my book...to which he replied "Wow...that's kinda depressing..."

Me: .....

To this day, still not sure what would be 'depressing' about reading your book in peace where you can take it in. But, y'know...OK...
I mean I can read in the office but there's too much activity.

_Roz_

I eat at my desk to avoid conversing with my (very lovely) colleagues, because conversations with colleagues aren't really a relaxing thing for me, due to introversion/anxiety. Instead, I'll enjoy chats with them as part of day to day work, and chill out with some reading at lunchtime.

As for living alone - my partner and I live alone and its bliss. I always struggled when sharing, for the same reason I avoid my colleagues at lunch, I would always attempt to avoid housemates and it was very difficult and stressful. Ironically, probably more stressful than just having the odd chat with them but tell that to my anxiety. I'm very happy now, though. Lovely little house, partner who understands the need for alone time, and a dog who does not understand personal space at ALL, but is adorable and so gets away with it.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

I don't know where people get this idea that if you live alone you don't get to chat to people and have social interaction. You do, but you also get downtime to yourself.

I live alone but have plenty of friends, activities I really enjoy and regular contact with family members. I'm also out at work all day so plenty of people to talk to there.

Unless you make little effort to go out and socialise, or call in to visit family, there's nothing lonely about living alone. It just means you also have total peace and quiet when you want it.

Obviously, if you move to a part of the country where you know no one that might be different. But if you're living in an area where you have an established life, I'd prefer to live alone than with random people, or even with friends that might start getting on my nerves after a while.

bucketybuck

I am as social as anybody, but if I was in a cafe eating my lunch and some stranger sat down in front of me and started a random conversation I would absolutely tell them to **** right off.

Citygirl1

I've lived on my own for most of the last 14 years, the last 10 years in my own house, and it's definitely my preference.

I am a person who needs my own space, and while I really enjoy being with friends or family, after a while I find it quite tiring!

I did house share for a number of years, and it's astonishing the little and big things people do that can be so irritating....

Conversely, living alone can allow me to do things that I know would be annoying for others, or I would be too self conscious to do with anyone else around. eg. Staying in my dressing gown until lunch time (when not working), playing the same piece of music three times in a row or watching random clips from Friends on YouTube.

It also means that I can keep the place tidy, without anyone else messing it up. But if I'm in a hurry and need to leave a mess that's ok, as I'm not annoying anyone else, and can get to it in my own time.

I suppose, the above does show that living alone has allowed me to become somewhat set in my ways, and less flexible.

Sephiroth_dude

Citygirl1 wrote: »

playing the same piece of music three times in a row or watching random clips from Friends on YouTube.
.

I thought I was the only one........

Citygirl1

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

I thought I was the only one........

He he. Even worse, I've often found myself looking at the most random clips from Sex and the City, 7th Heaven, Lord of the rings...all a bit sad I know, but very relaxing and amusing as they are usually the best bits.

There are also some good documentaries on YouTube, and old Period Dramas, which interest me but not any of my family, so I can watch this kind of thing on demand when I'm alone. However, if I have a family member to stay generally the TV is turned on, to what ever they want to watch....

Was at an event recently and it struck me, 2 of the people at it were single and living alone and you could tell it straight away. They were both inclined to say stuff that was less...diplomatic than others. Not remotely a criticism, in fact I kinda like it when someone says what they think, I was more interested in the fact that it was so obvious from their mannerisms.

danganabu

Differnet strokes for different folks really...........never understand the need of some people to make everything so definitive and black and white, like most of lifes great questions the answer to the OP is ''it depends''

Personally I have done both, lived in shared accomodation from age 18 - 30 but for the last few years have lived alone in my own house. I would certainly prefer my current situation but would hate to have missed out on the former and all the good times I had as part of that as well.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Was at an event recently and it struck me, 2 of the people at it were single and living alone and you could tell it straight away. They were both inclined to say stuff that was less...diplomatic than others. Not remotely a criticism, in fact I kinda like it when someone says what they think, I was more interested in the fact that it was so obvious from their mannerisms.

Is that a mannerism from being alone or a mechanism of why they are alone

Bambi985

Haha. I'd say I'd be more inclined to be "weird" when living with housemates as I need a certain amount of space to maintain sanity and without that space I tend to be crabby and default at "pissed off".

When you live alone you tend to appreciate other humans that bit more as you don't have to deal with another stranger's oddities and annoying habits night and day. I find my house is more "my home" when I either live alone or live with a partner.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Is that a mannerism from being alone or a mechanism of why they are alone

Touche, hard to tell if it was effect or cause. I'd probably need more than 2 to form any wider conclusion beyond...if you were asked to identify 2 who lived alone in the group (of 15), you would definitely have picked them.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

Deleted User wrote: »

Was at an event recently and it struck me, 2 of the people at it were single and living alone and you could tell it straight away. They were both inclined to say stuff that was less...diplomatic than others. Not remotely a criticism, in fact I kinda like it when someone says what they think, I was more interested in the fact that it was so obvious from their mannerisms.

You don't sound terribly diplomatic yourself.

Is that post meant to be taken seriously?:eek:

c_man

I lived alone for about a year and a half. I loved it to be honest, after years of weird housemates and annoyances I could do what I wanted. Did force me to go out and about for proper social interaction.

After I got married, herself moved in and the alone days ended. I can still walk around in my boxers when she's away though

Malari

I never lived alone although in several houseshares I ended up having a lot of time on my own as my housemates would leave at the weekend, so I had the best of both worlds. Living with my husband is perfect, as we each get our own space and never feel crowded.

Boscoirl

Have the best of both worlds!

Have the house to myself Monday to Thursday. Then the wife comes home Thursday night for The Weeknd as she works Too far away to
Commute

I send her away again on a Monday morning.

The key to a long lasting relationship

Eric Echoing Plank

Eric Echoing Plank wrote: »

You don't sound terribly diplomatic yourself.

Is that post meant to be taken seriously?:eek:

It is serious, as in it is true.

I'm certainly not saying it's a universal trait, far from it, there may have been others in the group that live alone...but you could tell these 2 did anyway. Furthermore, as MicksJaguar pointed out, it's hard to tell if it was the reason or the result.

c68zapdsm5i1ru

But what about all the people who don't live alone who say stupid, undiplomatic things or who behave oddly in social occasions. It really is a very sweeping statement you're making.

justfillmein

c_man wrote: »

I lived alone for about a year and a half. I loved it to be honest, after years of weird housemates and annoyances I could do what I wanted. Did force me to go out and about for proper social interaction.

After I got married, herself moved in and the alone days ended. I can still walk around in my boxers when she's away though

you do know you can still do this while she's there?
i'm sure she's seen you in less.

take 'em off and get some fresh air:cool:

addicted to caffeine

I've lived alone for the past 7 years, and I love it, no annoying habits to deal with. As I have Asperger's I find socializing stressful and tiring and I often need my own space. I was a bit lonely when I first moved in but over time I got used to it and I'm rarely lonely these days. I'm currently half living in my folk's house for health reasons and while I love them very much I'm very much looking forward to being in my apartment regularly

I didn't think I'd ever be able to live alone, but in all my time in shared houses, I loved when I had the place to myself. I was never able to rent a place for myself. I live with my fiance now and it's great. He does shift work so I ofter spend nights alone here, and it's awesome!

I know where OP is coming from though. If I was single I'm not sure I'd like to live alone either. I need humans around.Though after so many house shares I've seen everything, I'm just delighted I never have to go back to it.

JupiterKid

I live alone and would prefer to have company. It’s funny, I lived alone in the family home 5 days a week for my last couple of years of secondary school, at age 16 and 17 and was fine. But now at 42, I find I yearn company more than ever.

Fortunately, my ex who is also my closest friend com over and stays in my spare room nearly every week.:) I’m a social animal.

notsoyoungwan

I’m 38 and I’ve lived alone for 17 years or so. I absolutely love it, there’s no way I could go back to living with someone. I’m happy out in my own company, quite comfortable being alone and I don’t get lonely. (As an aside, people often ask me if I’m lonely when they hear I’ve lived alone for so long- I tell them honestly that the loneliest I ever felt was when there was someone less than a foot away from me in bed, my then boyfriend who I was beginning to realize was a prick, and I felt really alone and isolated due to his behaviour.)

I go on holidays alone, initially started off going on weekend breaks in Ireland, then I went to various places in Europe and then I ventured to the States. Dining or sight-seeing alone never bothered me, the only issue was being more conscious of personal safety.

While I can be quite sociable and I have a wide circle of friends, I am introverted by nature and don’t enjoy casual social interaction very much. A cuppa with a friend? Lovely. Casual chat with a stranger at a bar? No thanks.

I’m sure that I’ve developed oddities and quirks by virtue of living alone and not having to share my living-space with anyone for so long, but if I’m in a situation that I have to share with someone I can keep a lid on most of them for a few days at least!