Being left out by colleagues

LegacyUser

Hi I hope I can get some advise on this I know there is many people in this situation in other companies. There is myself and two other girls that go on the same break and lunch. We all text each other outside of work on snapchat and instragram etc we have a laugh and seem to get on well on a personal level.
I have noticed lately that the two of them get up at 11am and walk off without calling me and same at lunchtime , or they would shout out that they are going to the shop if anyone wants anything and off they go. it was never like this before they'd always call me to go . we all used to head off together. The thing that is actually bothering me is that when one of them isn't in, the other comes over to my desk and asks am I going to lunch. it seems like they only want to know me when the other isn't in.
fair enough if they prefer each others company but I don't like that they use me when it suits them.

Pelvis

Beingexcluded wrote: »

but I don't like that they use me when it suits them.

Don't let them, say no in future. Keep your relationship purely professional, they are not your friends.

jennyhayes123

How annoying. Don't entertain them when one on one. B&#@$s

_Brian

Working colleague and friend are very different things.
I think I’d just try and let it wash over you, it’s just a job and they’re just people who happen to work in the same place, there’s no actual need to be really pally pally with them. Actually where I work there are maybe 12 of us sharing an office space, I speak regularly with one and occasionally to another two. But the majority I don’t have anything more than hello to, and I’d rather keep it that way, I’ve no use for front of face talk you get in most offices. I’m out on the road allot so it suits me well.

Now, it does seem to be annoying you so the other option is have it out with them. You could ask is there anything you’ve done to be getting the cold shoulder. But to me it’s likely that they’re just friendly among themselves.

bertsmom

Op I would definitely agree with an above poster that work colleagues and friends are two different things. I know there are exceptions to this but I think for the most part life is just easier if work is kept to just hello and a bit of harmless chit chat about television shows or weather etc.
I work in the same place for over a decade and I'm in my mid thirties, over the years the amount of arguments and drama created by people whinging over friendships gone South and gossip is astonishing. It makes the working day awkward for others working with them and I'm sure it's distressing for them but for the most part it just makes me annoyed with both parties when I have to work with them in their bad atmosphere.
My advice is just do your work and be polite and friendly but keep your meaningful friendships for outside work. No body is obliged to include you in their lunch plans and likewise you are entitled to politely decline when asked by either but creating a fuss and demanding to know why you are not invited to join them is just pointless.
Maby have a vent with a friend over a glass of wine and unload it and move on.

beauf

I think it's fairly common this in work places.

I just stop bothering with people who do this. But also I don't stick with the same crowd all the time either, so it's no problem to find someone else to take a break with.

Always useful to get to know a lot of people at work rather than sticking to the same few people all the time.