Thinks Wich Trivilly anoy u.

whoopsadoodles

I'm sitting in carpark and some dickhead has left their toddler in the car.

pgj2015

Boom_Bap wrote: »

The same for when people are overtaking a bus that has passengers getting on/off and just go around it without giving a toss about the cars approaching them in the lane they have moved into.

And then.....the f*cking lemmings that follow the first car without waiting to see if it's clear to pass the bus.

sometimes they wave at ya to say thanks, like i had a choice about pulling in.

Sephiroth_dude

Lads who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom, ya vile bunch of langers! its takes two seconds to do it.

bot43

Whispering is at epidemic levels in my office. I once spoke up to the offenders to say no one is that interested in what you are saying anyway, so just speak normally. I made it worse.

northgirl

That feeling of just not being able to "do" life efficiently at all.

Trigger Happy

Button flies are a bit of a TA at the best of times but when the jeans are a little too tight for your post christmas midrift they are a fecking massive TA.

Jack Kanoff

anna080 wrote: »

Me trying to explain Kylie Jenner's success to someone who hasn't a clue, "she has like, lips and stuff".. :rolleyes:

Yeah....I saw some headlines the other day about Kylie being pregnant...and I went awww, that's great ..she's in her 40's and beat cancer too....all we need now is a new song or 2 from her..... Haven't a Scoobie wbo the other munter is

Widdershins

Someone shared their friend's FB fundraiser. No, it's not for charity or for lifesaving surgery abroad. It says ''I'm raising money for "Stress inducing overdraft fee" - Donate Now! I have an overdraft I cannot pay off, the stress and upset has made me sick. Until the overdraft is paid off I cannot do anything with my life or do some small things on my bucket list, like visit the Wolf Conservation Centre and Chester Zoo.''

Boom_Bap

Widdershins wrote: »

Someone shared their friend's FB fundraiser. No, it's not for charity or for lifesaving surgery abroad. It says ''I'm raising money for "Stress inducing overdraft fee" - Donate Now! I have an overdraft I cannot pay off, the stress and upset has made me sick. Until the overdraft is paid off I cannot do anything with my life or do some small things on my bucket list, like visit the Wolf Conservation Centre and Chester Zoo.''

The people that actually donate are the bigger idiots

smurfjed

TA'd that I forgot to pay for wife's airline reservation and it got cancelled, flight is now full and I have to explain it to her

Doctors room ghost

Widdershins wrote: »

Someone shared their friend's FB fundraiser. No, it's not for charity or for lifesaving surgery abroad. It says ''I'm raising money for "Stress inducing overdraft fee" - Donate Now! I have an overdraft I cannot pay off, the stress and upset has made me sick. Until the overdraft is paid off I cannot do anything with my life or do some small things on my bucket list, like visit the Wolf Conservation Centre and Chester Zoo.''

I’d be feeding that useless article to the wolves.guaranteed a Celtic tiger cub taking on loans and expecting donations to pay it off.stress inducing loan.ive heard it all now for sure.shot with balls of their own sh1t they should be

New Home

misstearheus wrote: »

I've just very briefly ran my eyes over a piece of writing about a place closing, and the line that grabbed my attention was, "Human excrement in food preparation areas" WHAT?!? :eek::eek: I didn't read any more. But. Where in the name of jesus are people having a p00 and where are people preparing food and more importantly, why, WHY are these 2 locations interlinking?!? :mad::eek: Jaysus.

People not washing their hands after number 2s would explain it.

WhiteRoses wrote: »

Colleague sitting near me is eating a wrap filled with mustard, mayo, ham, cheese and PINEAPPLE. I'm about to vomit everywhere from the sheer smell.

Pregnant?

smurfjed wrote: »

TA'd that I forgot to pay for wife's airline reservation and it got cancelled, flight is now full and I have to explain it to her

Dog house that way. ---->

Doctors room ghost

smurfjed wrote: »

TA'd that I forgot to pay for wife's airline reservation and it got cancelled, flight is now full and I have to explain it to her

Say you payed it and deny everything.blame it on o leary or else some foreigner that answered the phone but deny everything and stick to the story or you are in for a month of hell with the “you never listen” conversation thrown in as a sideline.
That or else sneak out the bedroom window at night and just keep going.she will never find you

Sephiroth_dude

Trigger Happy wrote: »

I need some jump starter cables to get me going today.

Now there's an idea

New Home

If you think that'd work, you're in for a shock.













:pac:

Sephiroth_dude

New Home wrote: »

If you think that'd work, you're in for a shock.


:pac:

bot43

Widdershins wrote: »

Someone shared their friend's FB fundraiser. No, it's not for charity or for lifesaving surgery abroad. It says ''I'm raising money for "Stress inducing overdraft fee" - Donate Now! I have an overdraft I cannot pay off, the stress and upset has made me sick. Until the overdraft is paid off I cannot do anything with my life or do some small things on my bucket list, like visit the Wolf Conservation Centre and Chester Zoo.''

Need a link to this so it can be ridiculed to the heavens.

mcgiggles

Paddy Cow wrote:

One of my dogs is really affectionate and constantly wants to lick my face. The problem is that she always wants to lick inside my nose She keeps trying to french my nostril and it hurts as well as being disgusting. The look of betrayal she gives me when I reject her "love"

My fella (dog that is....) Loves licking toes and ankles!! Tickly weirdly nice but totally gross all at the same time. Oh yey now i have dog testicles flavoured saliva all over my feet.. excuse me whil i wash....

My TA is my back needs sorting... Since like... Mid January I'd say.. and my back-fixer is off until Monday.. was doing fine until today now I have flushed cheeks, a headache, sinus ache with accompanying dry eyes and a sore neck. And my damn period is due so all in all I'm a happy fcuking camper today.

Salvation Tambourine

Doctors fees.

I went to my local GP about a couple of issues, at the end I mentioned a little blemish on my shoulder that I was only very slightly concerned about. He then referred me to a doctor in Beaumont.

I booked my appointment, waited my turn and then had a five minute chat with him. He told me that it was probably nothing but we'll remove it anyways as a precaution. Fair enough, my insurance will cover the procedure cost, all good. Spoke to his receptionist to arrange the procedure, once we did that I was charged €200 for the visit.

I honestly would have felt better about paying that if there was something actually wrong with me.

I should really start stock piling things I want checked out for potential visits in the future so I get some value for money.

smeal

Ignoramus pedestrians.

This morning I was driving and approaching a pedestrian crossing (one that has an island in the middle of the road surrounded by a metal fence). A woman walking on the footpath to my left continues to walk along the footpath, walks past the pedestrian crossing and then suddenly walks on to the road after the pedestrian crossing to cross the road to save her having to walk through the zig zag metal island fence in the middle. All the time she doesn't look once behind her, probably hears me coming and just assumes that I'll stop!

If I didn't like my car so much I would have deliberately driven into her to teach her a lesson

smeal

Actually something else has got on my TAts today.

So my boss was off with a serious dose of the flu for the entirety of last week and earlier in the week he was here in body but not soul, spluttering all around the place but keeping his distance from everybody as he had little energy to talk anyone so he just sat in his own office catching up on emails and calls etc. Fine.

Anyways, now he's "feeling sort of better" and he's out on the office floor like a bee spreading his diseased pollen everywhere. Examples:-

-Making phone calls off other people's desk phones and basically spitting his flu into their mouthpieces

- Blowing his nose into tissues and setting the tissue onto somebody's desk while he's talking to colleagues

- Definitely NOT washing his hands after the loo because its impossible to pee and wash your hands in the record time he uses the toilet

- Basically sitting on my shoulder all day like a f*cking parrot giving instructions while spluttering in my totally non-ventilated office. I can basically see the germs dancing around on my shoulder trying to get in my mouth and other bodily entrance ways.

Thing is I am running my first half marathon on Sunday and I have been doing everything in my power the past few weeks to stay healthy and avoid getting this plague that is flooring everyone. I am a human ball of Vitamin D&C at the minute. I don't know if it's in my head now because I've been thinking about it so much but today I feel so sluggish and yucky. If I get the flu before the weekend I will literally kill him. Yeah I understand colds and flues take a few weeks to get out of your system and its virtually impossible to keep fully out of the company of others while recovering BUT FOR F*CKS SAKE HAVE A BIT OF COP ON AND TAKE CONSCIOUS MEASURES TO TRY AND STOP SPREADING IT!!!!!!!

bot43

Run **** who manage to get their running exploits into every bit of conversation possible

andekwarhola

Memo to savages that like cracking their knuckles loudly in public. Nobody wants to fcuking hear it and I hope you get chronic arthritis in old age.

Also pedants that correct my ranty, possibly inaccurate point about arthritis. No doubt, inveterate knuckle crackers themselves.

MuffinTop86

I'm not usually a unicorns and hello kitty sort of adult, but I saw some pajamas in Aldi yesterday that I loved but there were only small ones left.
I checked the website and they only came in on Sunday. If I had a car I would actually have drove around in search of them. Raaaaging because they won't be getting them back in.

NollagShona

Freemen, get in the sea!

erica74

WhiteRoses wrote: »

I was telling my mam about her, she asked me was she not the one who used to be a man. No mam, that was Bruce/Caitlyn. :rolleyes:

The other morning in work someone came into the office and said "did you hear Kylie had a baby?" Now, I know who Kylie Jenner is but when I hear "Kylie" I think Minogue, she is the only one who goes by just the first name. So anyway, I said "jesus, she's old to be having a child and I thought she just split up with that guy". The other person interrupted the end of my sentence with a big sigh and said "oh are you pretending you don't listen to celebrity news?" I thought that I was right in thinking she was talking about Kylie Minogue so we went around in a circle trying to figure out what the other was talking about. In the end when I realised she was talking about Kylie Jenner I said Oh I don't care about her and the look I got was hilarious.
It would actually be interesting if it was Kylie that had a baby.

Dial Hard

anna080 wrote: »

When someone walking in front of you farts and then you end up walking in their fart path.

Doctors room ghost wrote: »

Happened me yesterday in SuperValu.security guard was walking in front of me in an empty aisle and dropped a bomber in front of me which I had the misfortune of walking into just as the smell was rising.took the breath away from me.

Just a friendly reminder that smells are particulate :pac:

New Home

^^^
Vom.

Bitches Be Trypsin

Really hating slimming world

quickbeam

Sephiroth_dude wrote: »

Lads who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom, ya vile bunch of langers! its takes two seconds to do it.

Not if you're doing it properly! Wetting the hands /= washing the hands!

(Though I admit to doing the two second version at times).

Sephiroth_dude

quickbeam wrote: »

Not if you're doing it properly! Wetting the hands /= washing the hands!

(Though I admit to doing the two second version at times).

Well ok maybe not two seconds but it doesn't take long either way.

Ilovethe bonesofyou

misstearheus wrote: »

I've just very briefly ran my eyes over a piece of writing about a place closing, and the line that grabbed my attention was, "Human excrement in food preparation areas" WHAT?!? :eek::eek: I didn't read any more. But. Where in the name of jesus are people having a p00 and where are people preparing food and more importantly, why, WHY are these 2 locations interlinking?!? :mad::eek: Jaysus.

the purple tin

On almost every AH thread you can pretty much guarantee that the first few posts will be smartarse jokey replies, Painfully unfunny for the most part.

Rubberlegs

Everytime I wash my hands I get water under the watch strap on my left arm and the fitbit yoke on my right. I'll be damned if I am taking them off every time I wash my hands.
On the subject of the fitbit yoke, it was a Christmas gift as I am always banging on how sh1t I sleep. Most nights I forget to turn on the sleep tracker, bloody thing turns itself off the whole time

Mollyb60

Husband is whinging about the extra 3 pounds he's put on over the last few weeks (a whopping 8 stone 6 pounds :rolleyes::rolleyes:) so he didn't want any desert after dinner tonight. Me, being a fat bastard, decided to have desert on my own.

TA'd that he spent the entire time while I was eating it making mooney eyes at me for a bite. FFS! Molly doesn't share food!!!!!! (gave in in the end and gave him a bite but I'm clearly not letting it go) :mad:

NollagShona

Urgh annoying bitch today in work- hope yer day was better!

Widdershins

andekwarhola wrote: »

Memo to savages that like cracking their knuckles loudly in public. Nobody wants to fcuking hear it and I hope you get chronic arthritis in old age.

Also pedants that correct my ranty, possibly inaccurate point about arthritis. No doubt, inveterate knuckle crackers themselves.

I'm not correcting but you probably don't know this. If you don't crack them, the gas builds up and pain spreads up the wrists. Then they crack like a gunshot when you tip your fingers off something.

It can be a TA, having to stop what you're doing to crack the gas out.

tomwaits48

Muahahaha wrote: »

TAed that everyday for months now I go into the same Topaz petrol station to buy only cigarettes and every single day I get asked the same quaestion when paying- "Any petrol or diesel?"
From now on I think my response is going to be "Not at those prices, no". At least that way the staff might take notice that I dont buy petrol or diesel there because they sure aint managed it in nearly six months now

People who don’t realise service staff are forced to stick to a script sometimes.

pgj2015

RIP written under a Youtube video of some singer or band member, pointless thing to write, Youtube comments can be hilarious but RIP gets old after the first 1000.

misstearheus

I keep superliking peeps I don't like at all by accident. #fatfingers

Am after walloping/whooshing the Blistex across the room, gone down the back of the bed to NeverNeverLand. Oh well I'm loaded shure it's not like I can't afford another Fiver or whatever it is for another Tube of the stuff. :rolleyes:

There's a possibility of snow n' ice in twenty minutes and I'm on a hill. I couldn't find parking on the road earlier so I've to go out in the cold again now and check. :mad:

Widdershins

bot43 wrote: »

Need a link to this so it can be ridiculed to the heavens.

Tip of the iceberg. Unreal sense of entitlement, and no, not a teenager. Closer to fifty. I don't want to identify her though.

Grayson

I keep getting yellow weather alerts on my phone. Its been happening every few hours for the last week. Its fecking annoying.

BBDBB

Maybe you have responsibilities when the weather hits yellow and you haven't realised, maybe they are trying to tell you, its your turn in the snow plough

My TA was the kamikaze pedestrians in the rain earlier on
I know its cold and the rain makes everyone put their hood up, trust me I will happily let you through (as an occasional part time pedestrian I feel your pain) but give me a feckin chance wilya? Im not a mind reader!

Rogueish

Double TA. My husband is being an ass so in order to settle myself down cooking is the answer. Two glasses of wine later, while it helps the chill out.... adding baking soda instead of bread soda to the cheddar soda bread isn't helping. Raaaahhhh

Doctors room ghost

When you hang your coat on the end of the bannister in the hallway and your wife comes along and hangs her handbag and coat over it.coat ends up mangled in handbag straps and you have to wrestle it like trying to take a pig from a python to get the coat back.
Another one is cleaning out the fire in the morning into a bag and a sneaky bastid ember you didn’t see burns through the bag and spills sh1t all over the floor and nearly sets fire to the rug

KatW4

I have the day off tomorrow but it actually required so much more work than if I was to go in.

Also I am in a horrible mood and I am being horrible to everyone. I can't wait until I snap out of it. Hate when I'm like this.

mikemac2

The food thief

Went to lunch with a crowd from work and we went to a very nice Japanese place

Most got hot dishes or bento boxes while I got a board with a selection of sushi

The food thief took a great interest in my board with eight different pieces and “I’ll try this and this” and took two :mad:

Was majorly TA’d

Jack Kanoff

TA'd at all the conflicting reports about my daughter....
Told she has to have the endoscopy and biopsies in Crumlin....ok...told to take her off gluten as it's making her sick... specialist said no...
she should never have been taken off as now Crumlin may not do it or put her to the Back of the list (nevermind she lost over half a stone weight and was sick every day)
Went to the hospital to talk to the dietician....she's there 7 years...has never recommended anyone under 12 to do these tests...they are to rule out false positives....10-15 on your bloods could be a false positive....my daughter read 138.... highest the dietician has ever seen.....no need whatsoever for Crumlin....
And she also said, she can't have oats or oatflour for the first year as they are too harsh on the stomach....that's about 50% of her gluten free food gone straight away...all the treats, choc bics (all biccies really), some cereals....it's fckin hard enough for her without adding this to it all

Just me ranting... soz

New Home

Rogueish wrote: »

Double TA. My husband is being an ass so in order to settle myself down cooking is the answer. Two glasses of wine later, while it helps the chill out.... adding baking soda instead of bread soda to the cheddar soda bread isn't helping. Raaaahhhh

Good news for you: bread soda IS baking soda (aka Sodium Bicarbonate).

mikemac2 wrote: »

The food thief

Went to lunch with a crowd from work and we went to a very nice Japanese place

Most got hot dishes or bento boxes while I got a board with a selection of sushi

The food thief took a great interest in my board with eight different pieces and “I’ll try this and this” and took two :mad:

Was majorly TA’d

S/He have left the restaurants with a nice set of chopsticks embedded into the back of her/his hands!!! :mad: :mad: :mad:

Rubberlegs

I am sick since Tuesday and though the worst of it seems to be over the last two nights my sleep has been really weird. When I wake I feel like someone waking out of a coma, all woozy and sick feeling. This morning I was having really weird, vivid dreams about the house where my parents lived and instead of the field at the top of the garden it was the graveyard where my Dad is buried . The little one woke me up out of the dream at 6.45 and I don't know what I am at, all dizzy and disorientated still. Surely taking Panadol at bedtime can't be having this effect:(