Thinks Wich Trivilly anoy u.

Mountainsandh

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Jizz..test tubes..arses..
We have it all tonight..

knee caps, no knee caps !

They're gone loo-lah in here

TA : I've no TA. I just come in here to look at all the posts and go Nelson ha-ha.

Okay. I do have to go to work tomorrow, so I want to share in the misery. :(

Ilovethe bonesofyou

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Jizz..test tubes..arses..
We have it all tonight..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2GwrR-4Q9E

Jack Kanoff

TA'd that I'm getting so many PM's about filling test tubes...

Go to new microwave to put babies steriliser plate and cover. It doesn't fit. Great. What a waste. Then I go to put something to eat in it. Oh Christ. Whatever happened just putting something in the microwave for a minute of so, taking it out and eating it?

Is it Microwave. Or Microwave Combination. Or Microwave Programme or Circo-Therm Microwave, and then there's a clock and timer for every single click and there's one wave, two waves or three waves and there's - oh fúck it I've had enough. This effort reminds me of the most stupid restaurant I've ever had the misfortune of going to - your man McGrath - this exact bollocks - where they get you, the paying customer, to cook your own dinner after a hard day's work. Fúck that for the greatest pisstake in restaurant history. And is Mr Neff really seriously saying the highest this microwave goes is 600w? Or does 600w mean 1200w or something on the newest machines? I could have got a 900w microwave for €90 and it would at least get me my food!

So much for the brainwave of getting an integrated combination conventional oven and a microwave oven in one. Keep it simple for tired people who have no intention of becoming the next Neven Maguire, you eejits.

PS: Can you believe these gobshítes. Here's the advertising blurb for the above oven: 'Easy to use
ShiftControl makes the microwave easy to operate, with its 2.5” TFT colour display, and you can perfectly time your cooking using the EasyClock. 14 automatic programmes simplify the cooking process.

Other features
If you’ve accidentally left the microwave turned on, you needn’t worry, as the automatic safety switch off feature will turn it off if it’s not being used. A control panel lock prevents any unintended use, and the SoftClose door prevents damage from hard slamming. The microwave oven also features an info button, an LED light, a temperature display and heating up indicator, and comes with a pyrolytic proof trayholder and baking tray.'

Jack Kanoff

^^^

Rogueish

My "darling hubby" is overtired, grumpy, hungover and feels as if he is missing out hugely by not going out for Round II today. He has an assignment to finish for college (deadline tonight) and true to form keeps nodding off over the laptop. I've tried to keep him awake, offered to let him "power nap" and I'd wake him in an hour or two but have been scowled and grunted at. He can go feck off at this stage.

donegal_man

I'm going to be pedantic again

People who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" or "moot" and "mute"

iamwhoiam

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Go to new microwave to put babies steriliser plate and cover. It doesn't fit. Great. What a waste. Then I go to put something to eat in it. Oh Christ. Whatever happened just putting something in the microwave for a minute of so, taking it out and eating it?

Is it Microwave. Or Microwave Combination. Or Microwave Programme or Circo-Therm Microwave, and then there's a clock and timer for every single click and there's one wave, two waves or three waves and there's - oh fúck it I've had enough. This effort reminds me of the most stupid restaurant I've ever had the misfortune of going to - your man McGrath - this exact bollocks - where they get you, the paying customer, to cook your own dinner after a hard day's work. Fúck that for the greatest pisstake in restaurant history. And is Mr Neff really seriously saying the highest this microwave goes is 600w? Or does 600w mean 1200w or something on the newest machines? I could have got a 900w microwave for €90 and it would at least get me my food!

So much for the brainwave of getting an integrated combination conventional oven and a microwave oven in one. Keep it simple for tired people who have no intention of becoming the next Neven Maguire, ay.'

When we needed a new microwave we had to schlep the bottle steriliser yoke around the shops with us it would fit in very few of them .

Dial Hard

DunnoKidz wrote: »

People who clearly know you, but don't identify themselves on a text from a random number, which your phone doesn't identify as a contact... "Hi, How've you been? Let's get together, call me!" Embarrassing having to reply back "Thanks, but... emm, who exactly are you?"

I always ring into their voicemail first to see if they've a personalised message recorded.

Today's TA: chilblains. Like, seriously, I'm not living in a Dickensian novel here, who the hell gets chilblains in 2018???

northgirl

DunnoKidz wrote: »

People who clearly know you, but don't identify themselves on a text from a random number, which your phone doesn't identify as a contact... "Hi, How've you been? Let's get together, call me!" Embarrassing having to reply back "Thanks, but... emm, who exactly are you?"

I got one of these with flight details last week. I responded with "???" Later discovered it was my step-dad... Must've deleted his number :rolleyes:

RobbingBandit

Dial Hard wrote: »

I always ring into their voicemail first to see if they've a personalised message recorded.

Today's TA: chilblains. Like, seriously, I'm not living in a Dickensian novel here, who the hell gets chilblains in 2018???

That's sweet lady diabetty letting you know she a coming, I'm fighting her off with good old fashioned sand paper on my feet, but I'm crazzzzzzzzzy

Aglomerado

Nice weather has inspired me to do some diy outdoors; specifically painting fences & woodwork.
So I nip down to the DIY megastore on my lunchbreak. It's 10 minutes' walk away but I take the car because I will be carrying 24l of fence paint. I'm in and out in less than 10 minutes.
It takes me 10+ minutes more to drive that short distance back to work because traffic's backed up nearly as far as the DIY place. At one stage I'm sitting right outside my office for 3 minutes waiting to be able to make a right turn.

RAAR :mad::mad::mad:

Trigger Happy

People who know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
There is this lad at work who believes that the cheapest of the cheap is the way to go with everything. If you happen to have something new he will be the first to tell you that you got ripped off as there is a cheapo version in Muckedy Mac Mucks Bargain Basement shop.

retro:electro

Old buddies at tills. Don’t be fooled that just because it looks like they’re paying that you’ll be served quick. This one in front of me must have scanned every coupon and voucher, then she was another five years looking for a rewards card. Then she wanted to know what she had left on the card. The machine was out of paper so the cashier had to refill it. Then she decided she wanted one of every scratch card. Then she eventually pisses off but you can still hear her half way out the door roaring about how dear the shop is

trellheim

Madam in front in Tesco Queue arguing the toss over a 2euro coupon ; took 3 managers and 10 mins in queue , but she got her 2 euro ... at some point the rest of the queue lost the will to live

LadyMacBeth_

My lips are sore. Constantly dry and chapped, I think it's the cold weather and heating.

The lips on my face before anyone says anything!!

ohnonotgmail

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

My lips are sore. Constantly dry and chapped, I think it's the cold weather and heating.

The lips on my face before anyone says anything!!

good job i read the second line of that before responding.

jaxxx

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

My lips are sore. Constantly dry and chapped, I think it's the cold weather and heating.

The lips on my face before anyone says anything!!

Hey guys 'n' gals, how's it going?

-> {proceeds to read Lady B's post above}

-> {Username 'Jaxxx' has keeled over and died}

DunnoKidz

Having to explain to people "yes, I am still sick" ...it's not like I was given an option in the matter...
Sure, I shall only have the flu for exactly 2.5 days, since that is the most convenient time frame for my friends.
What's worse is they are the ones that passed on the virus in the first place - they have no right to be complaining.

TA'ed that I don't have the nerve to text back "you gave me this flu, so shut the f**k up"

Rubberlegs

I have been finding food under the sofa,slices of apple, crusts, crackers etc. Culprit is the 6 yr old who has clearly been letting on she has finished her food. I am somewhere between being annoyed with her and impressed she was getting one over on me.

northgirl

My hair is snapping off. Got some fright at the hairdressers earlier when she showed me the back of it

nermal15

It took me nearly half an hour to get a parking spot outside my house today. And by 'outside', I mean across the road because that was the closest one. I even gave in and went into a nearby pay and display car park but because it wasn't quite half six I would have had to pay 3.50 for the remaining 20 minutes of the 'day' rate, then come back and put a new ticket on for the 'night'. Arrrggggh.

Rosie Rant

A little fly flew into my ear today. I got him out instantly and thought I was grand. Now, though, my ear drum is sore and it's throbbing a little. Uh oh!

Jack Kanoff

Rosie Rant wrote: »

A little fly flew into my ear today. I got him out instantly and thought I was grand. Now, though, my ear drum is sore and it's throbbing a little. Uh oh!

Was it there long enough to lay eggs?




*I may...or may not, be an evil bastard*

DunnoKidz

Why aren't we allowed to slap loud, inconsiderate neighbours?

RobbingBandit

TA Can't stop coughing really don't wanna be sick at the moment nothing good to watch and I'm sick of sleep gods damn tickle cough too, ugh.

LirW

TA that I just can't stick the carbon steel wok into the dishwasher. Hate hand cleaning it.

New Home

DunnoKidz wrote: »

Why aren't we allowed to slap loud, inconsiderate neighbours?

Because you'd hurt your hand, duh. :rolleyes: Instead, use a baseball bat, or a cast iron skillet, like a civilised person!




(Not an actual suggestion - please do not try this at home, or at your neighbours' house)

Mountainsandh

You and me both RB.
Don't have cough yet but TA I might as well have no nose for all the use it is to me right now.

Dis reabby addoyin'

Rosie Rant

Jack Kanoff wrote: »

Was it there long enough to lay eggs?




*I may...or may not, be an evil bastard*

Haha no but it may have bit me. You do have me paranoid, though! Cheers! TA'd by horror flashes of maggots in my ear.

Jack Kanoff

I hate sodding cat gifs

jaxxx

Jack Kanoff wrote: »

I hate sodding cat gifs

Speak of the devil, and he shall appear!



To be fair, there's not only cats in it

jaxxx

MAJOR TA: Own typing having gone to pure and utter sh#te despite being a gramar-nazi! :mad:

Ilovethe bonesofyou

jaxxx wrote:

gramar

Tut tut tut....

jaxxx

Ilovethe bonesofyou wrote: »

Tut tut tut....

!"£$%^&*(!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I..... I did that.. on purpose.......................... ok??????

:mad:

quickbeam

DunnoKidz wrote: »

This is me anymore ^ despite my former perfectionism traits.

The edit option is nice, BUT that 'last edited by' line . down . there . is my ta nemesis.
It mocks me, wanting to know why and informing the world of my posting imperfections. Also it clutters up the space.

If you catch it quickly enough the "last edited by" line doesn't appear.

Ilovethe bonesofyou

Ah fcuk it, just give me a month off with a solid week dedicated to sleep. In fact, just give me a massive lottery jackpot and erase the need to have to work at all. I don't ask for much...

Dial Hard

Jack Kanoff wrote: »

I hate sodding cat gifs

And pics.

And memes.

KatW4

There's a mouse in my classroom!!! Someone save me!

Trigger Happy

KatW4 wrote: »

There's a mouse in my classroom!!! Someone save me!

Either get a mass said or burn the classroom down.

(Or call the janitor!)

KatW4

Trigger Happy wrote:

Either get a mass said or burn the classroom down.

The only logical thing to do is burn it down. Furry little demons.

Trigger Happy

KatW4 wrote: »

The only logical thing to do is burn it down. Furry little demons.

Of course if you were in the US in the future you teachers would be armed with a shotgun and could just shoot the damned mouse!

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Recently changed my phone to a very expensive iPhone
Went to the bathroom, came back, phone was on the floor.
“How did that get on the floor?” I asked my friend
“*childs name* had it.”
Fuming I let it go because I figured I shouldn’t have left it where he could reach. Few mins later we’re both on the couch, phone on coffee table in front. Child on her lap having eye drops administered and she picked up my phone and handed it to the 15 month old to “keep him quiet”. I snatched it back, am no. A phone nearly a grand is not distraction for your baby.

Rubberlegs

Not just the once, but two days in a row now I have gone down to the shops without my purse and had to trudge back home for it. I can remember nattin these days

Dial Hard

Kinsley Gorgeous Revolutionary wrote: »

Child on her lap having eye drops administered and she picked up my phone and handed it to the 15 month old to “keep him quiet”. I snatched it back, am no. A phone nearly a grand is not distraction for your baby.

Yeah, I've had friends & family members get a bit shirty because I won't allow their kids to play with my phone. Would you hand the child €500 quid in cash to play with? No. So they're not getting my phone either. Eff off.

Boom_Bap

The other day, I packed up and got into the car for a drive to the other side of the country. I also gave the car a good hoovering and cleaning on the inside the day previous and sorted out a faulty light bulb. So I had the perfectly clean (on the inside) car, kids packed up, tunes ready, coffee in the cup holder.

Started to drive, all good.....for about 5 minutes. The dashboard turned into a christmas tree with all the lights flashing, no power in it but could crawl along.

Had to turn back, unload all the stuff into my other banger of a car, my coffee was spilled all over the inside of the clean car, forgot to exchange the music to the other car, nearly forgot one of the kids and drove in the manky banger across the country.

Now the car is in the garage, is just out of warranty and I can sense the bill clocking up and mr garage owner is rubbing their paws together.




Oh, as an added bonus TA, I asked them to service the car as its near due.

"Sorry Boomer, we can't squeeze in any services til mid next month"

Aglomerado

Being in a meeting only to have my guts make a burbling noise at a quiet bit.

Sounded like I farted too. :o

Jack Kanoff

Kinsley Gorgeous Revolutionary wrote: »

Recently changed my phone to a very expensive iPhone
Went to the bathroom, came back, phone was on the floor.
“How did that get on the floor?” I asked my friend
“*childs name* had it.”
Fuming I let it go because I figured I shouldn’t have left it where he could reach. Few mins later we’re both on the couch, phone on coffee table in front. Child on her lap having eye drops administered and she picked up my phone and handed it to the 15 month old to “keep him quiet”. I snatched it back, am no. A phone nearly a grand is not distraction for your baby.

How do you know someone has an iPhone?

Your Face

KatW4 wrote: »

There's a mouse in my classroom!!! Someone save me!

Sounds like you need a cat meme :pac:

Sephiroth_dude

Your Face wrote: »

Sounds like you need a cat meme :pac:

:pac: