Questions for the boys of AH. (Chapettes also welcome)

LadyMacBeth_

andekwarhola wrote: »

Presumably by compliment, you mean complimenting a woman's appearance. Why would anybody feel the need to do that in the workplace unless they're creeping on them?

Surely complimenting someone isn't always creeping on them? My straight female work colleagues often complimented each other's appearance. I've usually worked with women but I assume it would be in a similar innocuous way with men, mostly anyway aside from the odd creeper!

andekwarhola

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Surely complimenting someone isn't always creeping on them? My straight female work colleagues often complimented each other's appearance. I've usually worked with women but I assume it would be in a similar innocuous way with men, mostly anyway aside from the odd creeper!

Fair enough it might not always be intentionally flirtatious but why take the risk of it being perceived as such in your work environment?

Obviously I'm talking about general situations (as presumably befits the scenario in the OP). and I'm sure there's exceptions, like colleagues that know each other well and so on.

DrGreenthumb

Just grab them by the pussy and go from there

namloc1980

We had diversity and inclusion training where they told us holding the door for women and using phrases like "ladies first" should be avoided as it could be deemed derogatory and sexist. Crazy stuff.

Ave Sodalis

bubbles o hara wrote: »

Well hasn't my wrist been slapped hard!

For what it's worth, the lads (is that offensive now?)I mentioned earlier include married with children, single, seeking, divorced and the rest.

They're not neanderthals and their knuckles don't scrape along the ground as they attempt to walk upright. But being bombarded with what is now considered offensive or misogynistic, they are curious..and yes, concerned about what is and is not allowed.

Sorry for assuming AH was the place to ask the questions. Jaysus knows, I don't want to offend anybody.

Mods, if I've triggered a bad reaction, please remove my offensive post. Thanks.

I actually think this sort of thing is happening more often than people actually getting offended...

*Says something wrong* *Gets politely corrected* "People are sooo triggered these days, can't say anything, PC gone mad, *insert other term*, blah blah blah"

neonsofa

LadyMacBeth_ wrote: »

Surely complimenting someone isn't always creeping on them? My straight female work colleagues often complimented each other's appearance. I've usually worked with women but I assume it would be in a similar innocuous way with men, mostly anyway aside from the odd creeper!

Yeah I get compliments in work from both male and female colleagues and I never once considered it creepy, it's a normal nice thing to do. I would also compliment people if they looked nice or were wearing new clothes etc.

Sofiztikated

neonsofa wrote: »

Yeah I get compliments in work from both male and female colleagues and I never once considered it creepy, it's a normal nice thing to do. I would also compliment people if they looked nice or were wearing new clothes etc.

There's a world of difference between:

"Jaysis, Neonsofa, I like the suit, is it new?"

and

"Jaysis, Neonsofa, that suit does wonders for your arse."

Mister Vain

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

So it just doesn't bother me, apart from finding it utterly ridiculous how our society makes sexuality into such a monstrously big deal that so many people feel they have to tiptoe around instead of being overt about it.

+1. Ridiculous carry on. Too many mind games. I like when people are direct and upfront about how they feel, but I suppose it can be difficult to express an interest in someone without coming across too forward. Americans are better at this, ditto Eastern Europeans. Sometimes it seems that interaction between the sexes in Ireland is tinged with suspicion.

neonsofa

Sofiztikated wrote: »

There's a world of difference between:

"Jaysis, Neonsofa, I like the suit, is it new?"

and

"Jaysis, Neonsofa, that suit does wonders for your arse."

Exactly. Anybody who says the second one has to be aware that it could be considered creepy. But compliments generally aren't creepy.

riffmongous

namloc1980 wrote: »

We had diversity and inclusion training where they told us holding the door for women and using phrases like "ladies first" should be avoided as it could be deemed derogatory and sexist. Crazy stuff.

Hm.. and didn't anyone point out the blindingly obvious that you are not holding the door open for women but rather just for whoever is behind you?