Locking the door from our room in house share

nattydread74

My wife and I are sharing a house with two other roommates for the past three and a half years. All the bills are on the one roommate's name. So far, there were no issues with the rents, bills or our tenancy. However, when refund check from Irish Water came two months ago, our roommate never notified us about it. Two
weeks ago, we asked him about the check and he first replied that he doesn't know anything about it, and later on that he will have to check. Finally, we
resolved the issue with the check. However, after that issue, we lost trust in our roommate and my wife and I don't feel safe anymore in the house. My
question is: can we start locking the door from our room? Can we be evicted from the house because of that? When we moved into the house, our roommate
told us that no one is locking the doors from each other's room in the case of emergency. However, since we lost the trust in him and don't feel safe
anymore, we would like to start locking the doors to our room when we are away, i.e. when we are working, on holidays or when we are gone for
shopping. Did anyone had a similar issue?
Many thanks in advance!

mickdw

It's the beginning of the end in terms of a successful house share but if you want to lock it, do it.

GreeBo

I cant see any reason why you wouldnt lock your bedroom door when you are not in it.
Unless your room contains an emergency exit (Window to a garage roof etc) then it doenst impact anyone else.

Mickeroo

Fairly normal to lock your room in a house share if you're not there particularly if you're not close friends with your housemates. Though tbh, i don't really understand why you no longer feel safe just because they tried to a pull a fast one on the irish water refund.

nattydread74

There is no particular reason for it. It is just, he lied, he tried to keep the money which we already paid. I know it is weird, but the trust is broken.

Gumbo

Are you sharing with the home owner?
Are you a tenant or a licenee?

nattydread74

kceire wrote: »

Are you sharing with the home owner?
Are you a tenant or a licenee?

I am a tenant. There are four people in the house. All four of us signed the contract three and a half years ago with the agency. We are not sharing the house with the home owner.

bucketybuck

nattydread74 wrote: »

My
question is: can we start locking the door from our room?

Who is going to stop you?

Of course you can lock the door to your room, it a perfectly understandable thing to want to do. I tend to leave my room open most of the time but that doesn't mean there aren't times it needs locking. I give my flatmates trust but what if I am away for a few days and they have people I don't know over?

Forget the crap about emergency access, lock your door and tell him to go to hell.

1874

nattydread74 wrote: »

My wife and I are sharing a house with two other roommates for the past three and a half years. All the bills are on the one roommate's name. So far, there were no issues with the rents, bills or our tenancy. However, when refund check from Irish Water came two months ago, our roommate never notified us about it. Two
weeks ago, we asked him about the check and he first replied that he doesn't know anything about it, and later on that he will have to check. Finally, we
resolved the issue with the check. However, after that issue, we lost trust in our roommate and my wife and I don't feel safe anymore in the house. My
question is: can we start locking the door from our room? Can we be evicted from the house because of that? When we moved into the house, our roommate
told us that no one is locking the doors from each other's room in the case of emergency. However, since we lost the trust in him and don't feel safe
anymore, we would like to start locking the doors to our room when we are away, i.e. when we are working, on holidays or when we are gone for
shopping. Did anyone had a similar issue?
Many thanks in advance!

I dont understand why you dont feel safe because of what you say, its seems like he has done nothing threatening, regardless of that, Id consider it reasonable to lock a door when you are away and if you so feel even when you are sleeping in your room at night, but Id leave the keys in the door so you can exit in a hurry without a search for a key in case for some reason the lights didnt work.
I say that on the basis of having shared and where someone entered a room I was asleep in, I woke but it was a bit disconcerting, and whether you know them well or not, I think its prudent to lock your door when away.

nattydread74 wrote: »

There is no particular reason for it. It is just, he lied, he tried to keep the money which we already paid. I know it is weird, but the trust is broken.

? odd, so there is no reason, maybe he didnt lie, maybe he did, or maybe he forgot and it just went by the wayside, how much is the value of the refund? did you contribute an even or a partial share?
As you say yourself, it was resolved in the end.
To some extent, there has to be some trust when people share, maybe thats the point he was making when he said people dont lock the doors when you moved in (ie that its safe and there are no concerns), Ive seen people be completely unreasonable about certain things they cant expect in a house share like complete privacy or being very penny pinching and wanting an exact amount bordering into decimalising bill shares (sometimes with couples but not always).
Id lock the door as you see fit, not make a big deal of it and move on from this (edit dont do as the person above has said and tell them to go to hell, just move on from it quietly and leave it at that), the person does not seem to have been too bad, how much was the amount of the refund? how much would you stand to lose by kicking up a fuss and having a bad atmosphere and then being asked or told to move if you're considered to be too difficult.
Are you on the lease or is the other seemingly main tenant with the bills in his name, did you start at the same time or you and your wife arrive later? (edit I see you say you are, but the way you word how you say you moved in, make it seem like the other person was there first and you and your wife arrived later, otherwise why would they say anything to you about how people do or dont lock their doors?)

nattydread74

1874 wrote: »

I dont understand why you dont feel safe because of what you say, its seems like he has done nothing threatening, regardless of that, Id consider it reasonable to lock a door when you are away and if you so feel even when you are sleeping in your room at night, but Id leave the keys in the door so you can exit in a hurry without a search for a key in case for some reason the lights didnt work.
I say that on the basis of having shared and where someone entered a room I was asleep in, I woke but it was a bit disconcerting, and whether you know them well or not, I think its prudent to lock your door when away.



? odd, so there is no reason, maybe he didnt lie, maybe he did, or maybe he forgot and it just went by the wayside, how much is the value of the refund? did you contribute an even or a partial share?
As you say yourself, it was resolved in the end.
To some extent, there has to be some trust when people share, maybe thats the point he was making when he said people dont lock the doors when you moved in (ie that its safe and there are no concerns), Ive seen people be completely unreasonable about certain things they cant expect in a house share like complete privacy or being very penny pinching and wanting an exact amount bordering into decimalising bill shares (sometimes with couples but not always).
Id lock the door as you see fit, not make a big deal of it and move on from this (edit dont do as the person above has said and tell them to go to hell, just move on from it quietly and leave it at that), the person does not seem to have been too bad, how much was the amount of the refund? how much would you stand to lose by kicking up a fuss and having a bad atmosphere and then being asked or told to move if you're considered to be too difficult.
Are you on the lease or is the other seemingly main tenant with the bills in his name, did you start at the same time or you and your wife arrive later? (edit I see you say you are, but the way you word how you say you moved in, make it seem like the other person was there first and you and your wife arrived later, otherwise why would they say anything to you about how people do or dont lock their doors?)

We regularly paid our share for Irish Water, on time. Not just that bill, but every other bill including the rent on time. Our refund was 160 Euros. The check was cashed earlier. When we asked about the check, he blushed and said he doesn't know anything about it. When pressed one more time, he didn't say anything. In few days he just said that he will cover our share when new bills arrive. We sorted this. I repeat, up to that point, we never ever in the past three and half years lock the doors to our room, neither we ever thought about doing it, even when we were away for few weeks on vacation. I find it very weird for him to get a check, cash the check and pretend for two months that nothing happened. But, OK. I just wanted to hear other peoples opinion. The guy is here a bit longer than us, however, we signed the same contract. Well, never mind. I am just a little bit pissed, but I guess it is time to move on. By the way, we never made a fuss about anything in that house (he brought cat without aksing us, sometimes guests are coming and we are not notified, his girlfirend spends a lot of time here bringing dog, etc). We just keep calm, walk on the eggshells and pay our rent and bill.

GreeBo

OP is he possibly going through money issues at the moment?

Not that this excuses anything, but it might explain this somewhat out of the blue change.

nattydread74

GreeBo wrote: »

OP is he possibly going through money issues at the moment?

Not that this excuses anything, but it might explain this somewhat out of the blue change.

I am not sure. Anyway, the damage is done. The trust is broken. I guess it is time to move on.

flexcon

Not sure on the inner details of your conversations but - If this one person is taking care of all the bills, do you guys pay them a gratuity or money to take care of this?

I happen to do this in my current house share and Ive openly told them I'll take care of the bills but I'll be rounding up to cover

electric bill is 66, Ill say its 70 etc. After all - I have to keep an eye on it and its coming from my bank account.

Hotblack Desiato

If you paid all the bills the refund should have been over €300.

You gave him the money for these bills but did he actually pay them?

If you can't trust the guy whose name is on all the bills then you have problems.

GingerLily

flexcon wrote: »

Not sure on the inner details of your conversations but - If this one person is taking care of all the bills, do you guys pay them a gratuity or money to take care of this?

I happen to do this in my current house share and Ive openly told them I'll take care of the bills but I'll be rounding up to cover

electric bill is 66, Ill say its 70 etc. After all - I have to keep an eye on it and its coming from my bank account.

Hotblack Desiato

flexcon wrote: »

electric bill is 66, Ill say its 70 etc. After all - I have to keep an eye on it and its coming from my bank account.

I don't see how you can justify this, whether you tell them or not.

flexcon

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

I don't see how you can justify this, whether you tell them or not.

On two occasions so far in the past 6 months, they haven't paid in time.

So I have money coming out of my bank account and I have to wait nearly 2 weeks longer to get the money.

Ive had this conversation before with some pub friends and seems to be actually quite common, effectively the bill comes in for 135 euro, and two weeks later I probably get the last few euro. I reckon about 5 euro a month is what at max "I get" from taking care of and being on top of the bills.

Funny enough this months bill ( covering December ) was 40% higher than normal and drove me into overdraft as the bill came out earlier than normal ( something to do with a change in direct debits in Ulster Bank ) and I hand not been paid for another 24 hours. Cost me roughly 1.50 that did.

Anyway - the household are perfectly happy with this as it means I get all the communication and if there are issues with anything I chase them up ( Broadband not working etc )

Hotblack Desiato

Can't see why there would be any issue, I always locked my door when I was in my room and always locked it if I was away overnight, gone home at weeeknds etc. I usually didn't bother when I was just gone to work for the day etc though.

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

I don't see how you can justify this, whether you tell them or not.

While bills themselves I always asked the correct amount I did keep the full Irish water grant for myself as I looked after all bills in the house and there was a bit of work in this (most were in LLs name bar water so I paid at the post office etc and gathered up cash of people who were often a month or two behind with paying).

I got the water refund back and I will give 1/3 to a sound lad I'm still in contact with and paid a portion of every bill, one bills worth to another lad only only paid one bill as he moved in as they ended and keep the rest as the other person who paid most if 1/3 of the total was a clown and I wouldn't contact him if you paid me twice the amount I owed him.

1874

nattydread74 wrote: »

We regularly paid our share for Irish Water, on time. Not just that bill, but every other bill including the rent on time. Our refund was 160 Euros. The check was cashed earlier. When we asked about the check, he blushed and said he doesn't know anything about it. When pressed one more time, he didn't say anything. In few days he just said that he will cover our share when new bills arrive. We sorted this. I repeat, up to that point, we never ever in the past three and half years lock the doors to our room, neither we ever thought about doing it, even when we were away for few weeks on vacation. I find it very weird for him to get a check, cash the check and pretend for two months that nothing happened. But, OK. I just wanted to hear other peoples opinion. The guy is here a bit longer than us, however, we signed the same contract. Well, never mind. I am just a little bit pissed, but I guess it is time to move on. By the way, we never made a fuss about anything in that house (he brought cat without aksing us, sometimes guests are coming and we are not notified, his girlfirend spends a lot of time here bringing dog, etc). We just keep calm, walk on the eggshells and pay our rent and bill.

If you are all sharing the costs, then its not fair they wouldnt just give you your share, they should have come to you, but it just seems like they might be inclined to pull a fast one, so lock your door, but I see no reason to be walking on eggshells, if you're that uncomfortable, its time to move on and find somewhere you would be comfortable and have full control over the bills, but it wll probably cost you more. I still think you are letting yourself get and stay annoyed over this, why waste the time?
As for his girlfriend, well in a house share you can expect that, unelss they are staying permanantly but if he is paying his shatre (we have no idea how you split your shares of the bills, does he pay one share and you and your wife one share? or do you split it by the number of people in the house?

flexcon wrote: »

On two occasions so far in the past 6 months, they haven't paid in time.

So I have money coming out of my bank account and I have to wait nearly 2 weeks longer to get the money.

Ive had this conversation before with some pub friends and seems to be actually quite common, effectively the bill comes in for 135 euro, and two weeks later I probably get the last few euro. I reckon about 5 euro a month is what at max "I get" from taking care of and being on top of the bills.

Funny enough this months bill ( covering December ) was 40% higher than normal and drove me into overdraft as the bill came out earlier than normal ( something to do with a change in direct debits in Ulster Bank ) and I hand not been paid for another 24 hours. Cost me roughly 1.50 that did.

Anyway - the household are perfectly happy with this as it means I get all the communication and if there are issues with anything I chase them up ( Broadband not working etc )

I was a bit suspect of how you rounded, I used to take care of bills in a share and it was a bit of a pain, collecting money and getting it in dribs and drabs, I probably should have rounded up, but looking back, I think its better to get an average value and have a bill deposit from the start to fund late, piecemeal or non payers rather than self funding it which I think is unfair and the bill cost should include any charges that may occur for bank charges for it.
I used to add the monthly total and round to an even euro amount, but sometimes down.
What I have always hated is people going through stuff with a fine tooth comb, finding something small and whining over some ridiculous amount when they are getting a great deal.

flexcon

1874 wrote: »

I was a bit suspect of how you rounded, I used to take care of bills in a share and it was a bit of a pain, collecting money and getting it in dribs and drabs, I probably should have rounded up, but looking back, I think its better to get an average value and have a bill deposit from the start to fund late, piecemeal or non payers rather than self funding it which I think is unfair and the bill cost should include any charges that may occur for bank charges for it.
I used to add the monthly total and round to an even euro amount, but sometimes down.
What I have always hated is people going through stuff with a fine tooth comb, finding something small and whining over some ridiculous amount when they are getting a great deal.

It kinda works both ways. If they came back to myself and said, hang on, your charged us 2.50 more than the bills were, thats 75C each you overcharged us. I can also see how some will look at myself taking a few euro per month, but at the end of the day - if they don't pay at all, or something happens - then I have to take full responsibility for the entire bill. Rounding up by a few euro for all the bills is really fine as they are aware of it. It's even printed on the fridge incase anyone forgot.

When the broadband goes down.....I have to ring since its in my name.
When the toaster stops working ... I call the landlord.

Basically I have landed myself as the spokesperson in many areas of the house and that's fine hence why I don't for one second feel at odds rounding to the nearest fiver.

Alanstrainor

OP, if you want to lock your door just do it. I really don't understand why this is such a big deal. What this person did was stupid, no defending that behaviour but I can't see where the sudden fear is coming from. You would probably be as well saying something to this person and trying to clear the air, I wouldn't fancy moving out of a place due to something this minor, you could end up in a far worse house share.

nattydread74

Alanstrainor wrote: »

OP, if you want to lock your door just do it. I really don't understand why this is such a big deal. What this person did was stupid, no defending that behavior but I can't see where the sudden fear is coming from. You would probably be as well saying something to this person and trying to clear the air, I wouldn't fancy moving out of a place due to something this minor, you could end up in a far worse house share.

We will all have to move soon because the house will be sold. Anyway, maybe I overreacted because I didn't expect that to happen. I just move on and continue like nothing had happened. And search for the new house
Thank you all for advice.

Wabbit Ears

This type of stuff is always the tip of the iceberg.

Ring Irish water and ask how much was sent to the household.

Do you actually see the bills before you hand over the money? In my expereince ripoff merchants are very good at being ripoff merchants and chances are he's been playing you on other things.

Anyways yea, start locking your doors, insist that you see any bill before you pay it and stop calling him by his real name. ( last one because its funny and no other reason)

Ashbx

flexcon wrote: »

Not sure on the inner details of your conversations but - If this one person is taking care of all the bills, do you guys pay them a gratuity or money to take care of this?

I happen to do this in my current house share and Ive openly told them I'll take care of the bills but I'll be rounding up to cover

electric bill is 66, Ill say its 70 etc. After all - I have to keep an eye on it and its coming from my bank account.

Fair play to your housemates because not a hope in hell would I pay my housemate gratuity money for that! I used to look after bills and was the spokesperson between the house and the landlord but I wasn't cheeky to charge my housemates for doing it.

What I used to do in my house share is get money in advance, that way when the bills came in, I didn't get stuck with having to pay myself because the money was already there.

flexcon

Ashbx wrote: »

Fair play to your housemates because not a hope in hell would I pay my housemate gratuity money for that! I used to look after bills and was the spokesperson between the house and the landlord but I wasn't cheeky to charge my housemates for doing it.

What I used to do in my house share is get money in advance, that way when the bills came in, I didn't get stuck with having to pay myself because the money was already there.

What happens when you have a stale mate?

Every scenario here is different. In my circumstances the crowd I rent with, half are not irish and the other has been babystitted by their parents for so long they don't even know how the real world works.

Without my involvement and chasing up - I'd be out of pocket. So I either move out myself or I round up to the nearest fiver and just be happy that I am taking control of the bills and not the other folk who, in all their best intentions, would more than likely forget to pay a bill and cause hassle.

I mean just to reiterate, I'm talking about rounding 67 euro to 70 to be paid by 4 people, which is around 80c each? Im not talking about charging a tenner or 15 quid on top of what the bill is. It's rounding so I can keep track of the money in my account easier and the guys are happy out. In my scenario - there isn't anything cheeky about it. It's agreed by all and they are happy out.

perhaps my initial response has slightly given the wrong impression

anyway - I guess this is a tangent to the original posters discussion. Sorry for the hijack.

Ghekko

We shared an apartment with a guy years ago. One night he sleep walked into our bedroom. After that we always locked the door. If we were away for a weekend we'd lock the door also so he couldn't have friends sleeping in our room while we weren't there. Op, I wouldn't hesitate to lock your door, regardless of what your housemates say. It's none of their business and will not affect them either way.

Ghekko

Ghekko wrote: »

. It's none of their business and will not affect them either way.

They will only know if they are poking around too so if they say anything you have a perfect come back: "Why were you trying to open the door?"

the_syco

nattydread74 wrote: »

When we moved into the house, our roommate told us that no one is locking the doors from each other's room in the case of emergency.

What's he going to do? Run in and grab all the valuables in case of a fire?

boundlessSea

I think it is normal to lock ones door, a lot of people house share with people who are strangers with people coming and going, there is no relationship or trust built up, it seems in this case prudent to lock ones door, even when asleep a certain level of trust is needed to keep the door unlocked that might not be there.

arrianalexander

flexcon wrote: »

What happens when you have a stale mate?

Every scenario here is different. In my circumstances the crowd I rent with, half are not irish and the other has been babystitted by their parents for so long they don't even know how the real world

Why mention they aren't Irish ?

John_Rambo

I preferred when people locked their door when I rented out my spare room. I gave them all the keys and told them I wouldn't have a problem if they wanted to change the handle/lock.

There's no niggling doubts if personal property is mislaid. Things are black and white, their room, their space.