Breastfeeding and children's intelligence not linked

az2wp0sye65487

conorhal wrote: »

Maria Plump Apathetic wrote: »

Why do people get so worked up about what others do? Whenever there's a breast feeding discussion it always ends up with people arguing over what's 'normal' etc.

I couldn't give a f**k about what others think about how we feed/nourish/raise our kids. We're doing our own thing and we're doing a good job.

Inevitably with a breast feeding discussion you'll get certain pro-breast feeding people slightly looking down their nose on the formula feeders. Then you find the pro-formula feeding people essentially insinuating that extended breast feeding is weird and abnormal etc. etc.

It's none of anyone's business what way others raise their kids...

It's society's business. Because the kids are it's next generation of leaders, and what becomes of a society is determined by that.
A concern about what happens next is ultimately a concern about the values, competence and direction of the generation you have raised. Otherwise what's the point of raising them?

That argument could be used to rationalise any aspect of criticism of other people's parenting choices. Where do you draw the line? Also, (I would hope u you agree with me on this) the majority of parents are doing what in their opinion is the "right thing" by their kids and how they raise them. So with so many opinions on the "right" way to raise kids, which way is truly the right way? Mine or yours?

conorhal

Maria Plump Apathetic wrote: »

That argument could be used to rationalise any aspect of criticism of other people's parenting choices. Where do you draw the line? Also, (I would hope u you agree with me on this) the majority of parents are doing what in their opinion is the "right thing" by their kids and how they raise them. So with so many opinions on the "right" way to raise kids, which way is truly the right way? Mine or yours?

Oh of course I agree, the vast majority of parents are raising their kids the same way they always have, the best they know how. Attachment parenting and breastfeeding kids long after nature determines they should be weaned is very much an outlier, but one promoted by some pretty influential outlets and voices, personally I don't think it brings anything positive to the table because it infantilizes children that aren't infants.

s7ryf3925pivug

They all need to be vaccinated anyway.
Antisocial retards causing measles outbreaks. Puts my preemie son in danger. Why is that allowed?

Roger Hassenforder

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

But would you not mitigate potential bullying best you can?

There is another user in boards I am stealing from here - because he is actually educated in psychology - but he speaks on a few threads about how the bully selects the target before they select the material to bully with.

So if a bully spots a kid they want to bully - and they find out the kid is still on the breast at a late age - the bully is likely to use that. If the bully does not know this - they will bully the target just as much only about something _else_.

So you can not really mitigate bullying all that much by merely removing the thing you think the kid will get bullied for. The bully will just use something else. If you want to mitigate bullying then work on making your child less of a target in the first place.

I remember seeing this for myself in school too. A kid was bullied a lot. First it was about his hair. He came in with a new haircut. So they bullied him about his shoes. He came in with the best Nikes. Then they bullied him about a _single_ acne spot on his face. And I remember at the time noticing that the two kids he happened to be standing near at the time had faces so pocked with acne they looked like someone had eat and then vomited up a pizza on their features.

My kids are 7.5 and 3.5 ish. I mitigate bullying in their present and future by teaching them to be proud and confident in and of themselves. And I have trained them in the arts of Brazilian Ju-Jitsu from age 3. And I furnish them with hobbies that interest them but also make them interesting and popular with others. My daughter for example is having a great time learning to fire rifles recently. And her peers in school think this is the coolest thing.

If the school jock comes in and declares himself Gay - people will lap it up. If the school loner comes in and does - he will get bullied for it. Nothing to do with being gay. Being gay is just the convenient excuse to go after someone they would likely find a way to go after anyway.

It could happen - but I think it _very_ unlikely my kids will be a target for any bully. Nor will anyone they call friend I suspect. Popular - interesting - self confident - and combat trained. Bring it on.

Paddy Cow

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Am I reading this right - you're breastfeeding a four year old?

Us too almost. He is 2 months off turning 4. Only starting to lose interest now. Feeding every 3 or 4 days rather than twice a day at the moment. So seems to just be tapering off interest in his own time.

Lucyfur wrote: »

Loadsa women are extended breastfeeders, feeding well beyond the WHO recommendation of 2 years.

Would that be this recommendation?

"The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mother and baby desire. The World Health Organization recommends continued breastfeeding up to 2 years of age or beyond."

lazygal wrote: »

Most children wean when they lose their milk teeth.

Indeed. Not sure the averages though and my own daugther stopped when my son was born. So around 3.5 years. She did not lose her first tooth until she was 6 though. She is 7.5 now and they are all starting to pop out suddenly together. The average in her class was about 5.

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

but i think 4 is a bit too old, and might be more about the parents need than the kid.

With us it is entirely our son. We neither encourage nor discourage it. So no sign it is more about me or his mother at all. He will just walk up and request it every so often on his own. At completely random times too. Not boredom or upset or anything. He can be well into a game of toys and will suddenly drop everything and go look for a feed.

Alaya Deep Tuition wrote: »

Is it not going to be weird for someone to remember sucking on their mom's tit?

Only if you make it weird. I recall seeing both of my parents naked quite often as I was growing up too. That memory for some might be weird too for some. It is not for me.

Natural physical and biological processes are only ever as weird as you make them or let them be.

Alaya Deep Tuition wrote: »

Because humans find them sexual.

Sexual is contextual (now there is a catchy little slogan). In differing scenarios nudity is sexual or not too. Humans find kissing sexual too in sexual scenarios. Yet parents and children kiss all the time. And that is not sexual.

Ms2011

Verity. wrote: »

Still breastfeeding our nine month old, and I'm so glad I persevered. Although the onus is all on me to feed (unless I pump), it's just so easy. No laborious washing or having to plan bottles to leave the house. LO is meeting all the developmental milestones and has never been sick.

There's no doubt it can be a rocky start, it's what puts many mothers off it. But once you hit the six week mark it's plain sailing and an absolute gift. It's an amazing bonding experience too.

Bottles washed when doing the dishes no extra labour.
2 sterilsed bottles & 2 cartons of ready made formula = 8 hours worth of food when out, That's the extent of planning needed.
LO met all the developmental milestones and has hardly been sick in 6 years.
It's an amazing bonding experience too.

az2wp0sye65487

conorhal wrote: »

personally I don't think it brings anything positive to the table because it infantilizes children that aren't infants.

That's the point I was making though. You have a personal opinion on the subject, which, presumably in your view is the correct one. Others have different personal opinions. We're all different. Doesn't mean there's just one way to do anything.

As an aside.... both our kids were/are breastfed. The older one will be 5 in a few months. She naturally weaned around 27/28 months when we were expecting baby number 2. She actually told us that it tasted different and she didn't like it any more!

The younger one is 2 now and she still gets a feed going to bed.

The funny thing is that the older one is so used to being around breast feeding that it's so normal to her.... yet, she becomes horrified at the thought of being fed. Her usual reaction is to make a face and say "That's for babies" - even though we never actively discouraged her.