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Work Questions - feel bullied

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  • 08-02-2018 8:52pm
    #1
    Dublinblues
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭


    Hi,

    I was in a meeting with 3 mangers, my boss, their boss and Hr rep, during the meeting I feel I was being bullied and I asked to stop the meeting so I could get a colleague to sit in on the meeting, I was refused this option, were they right to refuse my request?


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    #2
    Atlantic Dawn
    Registered Users Posts: 82,747 ✭✭✭✭Atlantic Dawn
    M


    Was it a disciplinary meeting? Company policy in most places would be to allow you bring a colleague in that you nominate for disciplinary meetings.


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    #3
    Hitman3000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,596 ✭✭✭Hitman3000


    Dublinblues wrote:
    I was in a meeting with 3 mangers, my boss, their boss and Hr rep, during the meeting I feel I was being bullied and I asked to stop the meeting so I could get a colleague to sit in on the meeting, I was refused this option, were they right to refuse my request?


    Why would you go in to a meeting with 3 facing you from the other side of a table without representation?


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    #4
    _Brian
    Registered Users Posts: 18,574 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    My understanding is that you can ask to have someone present if it’s a disciplinary meeting but not for any other meeting.
    If this was a disciplinary meeting they were foolish to refuse your request as if anything their actions reinforce the appearance that you were being bullied.
    Perhaps some more details on the type of meeting and any outcome would be useful. Was it a disciplinary and has the process concluded with a decision ?

    I think you’d have grounds to appeal any outcome, even if they have brow-beaten you into signing anything.


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    #5
    Munstermissy
    Registered Users Posts: 251 ✭✭Munstermissy


    On a similar vein, can management record disciplinary meeting without informing the person attending the meeting?


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    #6
    Del2005
    Registered Users Posts: 18,992 ✭✭✭✭Del2005


    Munstermissy wrote: »
    On a similar vein, can management record disciplinary meeting without informing the person attending the meeting?

    Only one party has to agree to the recording.


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    #7
    Dublinblues
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭Dublinblues


    No its wasnt a disp. meeting, it was a meeting setup by HR as I had raised concerns, during the meeting I realised that it was a rehersed trap, I asked to stop the meeting so as I could get a colleague in, I was refused this request and on one or two occasions I also asked for the meeting to be stopped as I didnt see any progress being made and this request was also ignored...


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    #8
    davo10
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,926 ✭✭✭davo10


    Dublinblues wrote: »
    No its wasnt a disp. meeting, it was a meeting setup by HR as I had raised concerns, during the meeting I realised that it was a rehersed trap, I asked to stop the meeting so as I could get a colleague in, I was refused this request and on one or two occasions I also asked for the meeting to be stopped as I didnt see any progress being made and this request was also ignored...

    What did they do to make you feel bullied? And why do you think you should be allowed to bring someone with you to a business meeting?


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    #9
    doolox
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,350 ✭✭✭doolox


    For moral support and to take notes and act as a deterrent to bullying behaviour manager types love to pull off when they are gathered in packs against you. HR types are even worse, the lowest form of animal life and not to be trusted in any way shape or form.

    If you are being confronted on your own by three of these animals I would be taking legal advice.


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    #10
    Dublinblues
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭Dublinblues


    All points I raised were either ignored or turned in a way to make it seem it was all my fault, my bosses boss accepted everything they said with sufficent evidence but yet questioned almost every issue I raised, fair enough they back each other but I requested to get someone in so as I had a witness to their behaviour towards me..


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    #11
    davo10
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,926 ✭✭✭davo10


    doolox wrote: »
    For moral support and to take notes and act as a deterrent to bullying behaviour manager types love to pull off when they are gathered in packs against you. HR types are even worse, the lowest form of animal life and not to be trusted in any way shape or form.

    If you are being confronted on your own by three of these animals I would be taking legal advice.

    Legal advice on?


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    #12
    davo10
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,926 ✭✭✭davo10


    Dublinblues wrote: »
    All points I raised were either ignored or turned in a way to make it seem it was all my fault, my bosses boss accepted everything they said with sufficent evidence but yet questioned almost every issue I raised, fair enough they back each other but I requested to get someone in so as I had a witness to their behaviour towards me..

    Sorry, not getting your way is not bullying. You should google the definition of bullying, it's repeated affronts to your dignity etc, it isn't being disappointed at the outcome of a meeting with your manager.

    What was their behaviour towards you? Was it not agreeing with you? Did they accuse you of wrongdoing?


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    #13
    Dublinblues
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭Dublinblues


    I raised concerns of poor management and they didnt like hearing the truth, so took an aggressive approach, nothing really to do with getting my own way...


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    #14
    davo10
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,926 ✭✭✭davo10


    Dublinblues wrote: »
    I raised concerns of poor management and they didnt like hearing the truth, so took an aggressive approach, nothing really to do with getting my own way...

    But how did they bully you?

    Did they just strongly disagree?


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    #15
    Dublinblues
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭Dublinblues


    I dont really want to go into specifics but this is an ongoing issue with poor management over the years, yes my character and dignity has brought into it over this period and on this occassion they were not willing to listen to the issues i brought forth but were more intent on making me out to be a liar and more that I dont really want to share on a public forum at this point..


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    #16
    Atlantic Dawn
    Registered Users Posts: 82,747 ✭✭✭✭Atlantic Dawn
    M


    Try to get their complaint(s) in writing against you.


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    #17
    TG1
    Registered Users Posts: 1,920 ✭✭✭TG1


    doolox wrote: »
    For moral support and to take notes and act as a deterrent to bullying behaviour manager types love to pull off when they are gathered in packs against you. HR types are even worse, the lowest form of animal life and not to be trusted in any way shape or form.

    If you are being confronted on your own by three of these animals I would be taking legal advice.

    Legal advice for what? To be honest op I would go to HR and ask if there is a whistle blowing policy in place. If so you need to get a copy and familiarise yourself with the content because that is what this sounds like, it's not bullying but it may fall under that policy if you are being treated unfairly as a result of pointing out a problem.

    However f it's not something that falls under the whistlblowing policy, and moreso just a grievance, have you formalised a complaint or just made informal ones? If not, you should formalise it by raising a grievance as you should be protected against unfair treatment as a result of this action by the grievance policy.

    If it's just that you have complained repeatedly without formalising anything, to be honest, you've tied HRs hands. They cannot investigate you just having a moan, it needs to be made formal for them to action anything.

    As for the meeting, if there were no sanctions or outcomes applied,and it was just a general discussion rather than a formal part of a procedure your manager/HR representative is entitled to decline your request for a witness.


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    #18
    _Brian
    Registered Users Posts: 18,574 ✭✭✭✭_Brian


    My understanding is outside a disciplinary meeting you have no right to insist on having someone with you for moral support, remember that person is being paid by the company so they have a right to say what they do.
    If you were sitting in front of your manager, a senior manager and a HR representative and they were all singing the same song then it’s time to back down. You’ve said your piece, if you have a formal complaint to make then do so, otherwise back away.

    Maybe if your company has a union you could raise the issues through them, otherwise your left with few options.

    You could document your concerns in a letter and insist on getting a written response to it, it may be of some use in the future.

    My concern is if you’ve ruffled enough feathers then you could be on the “let’s manage this person out” list going forward.

    Then there is the last option, start looking for another job, if you don’t like the company and the way it’s being managed then leave and find somewhere better to work.


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    #19
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    "feeling" bullied isn't worth very much tbh

    It wasn't a disciplinary meeting and there was no requirement for you to have any backup.


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    #20
    Jim2007
    Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators Posts: 10,304 Mod ✭✭✭✭Jim2007


    doolox wrote: »
    For moral support and to take notes and act as a deterrent to bullying behaviour manager types love to pull off when they are gathered in packs against you. HR types are even worse, the lowest form of animal life and not to be trusted in any way shape or form.

    If you are being confronted on your own by three of these animals I would be taking legal advice.

    Taking advice from someone with an agenda is never a good idea.


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    #21
    bobbysands81
    Registered Users Posts: 7,211 ✭✭✭bobbysands81


    doolox wrote: »
    For moral support and to take notes and act as a deterrent to bullying behaviour manager types love to pull off when they are gathered in packs against you. HR types are even worse, the lowest form of animal life and not to be trusted in any way shape or form.

    If you are being confronted on your own by three of these animals I would be taking legal advice.

    I’ve come across many HR people who really do their best for employees.


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