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Tackling Manager on way he speaks to me

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  • 18-02-2018 1:26pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi.

    Am going into to Managers office to tackle him over the way he verbally spoke to me last week in the office. He shouted at me, threw a few fcuks at me and just wipe the floor with me . All over something I did perfectly BUT not the way he wanted it done.

    Been there 15 yrs and this has happened before but I just put it down to him having a bad day. And I a big boy and can take a bit of verbals every so often

    However... I've reached my limit on this one and am going in to advise him that 'no more' will be tolerated and that I won't stand for it going forward. He is also in charge of HR and so technically going to him is also going to HR

    Any tips on how to handle the situation tomorrow??


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    #2
    duploelabs
    Registered Users Posts: 11,419 ✭✭✭✭duploelabs


    Bennysantini wrote: »
    Hi.

    Am going into to Managers office to tackle him over the way he verbally spoke to me last week in the office. He shouted at me, threw a few fcuks at me and just wipe the floor with me . All over something I did perfectly BUT not the way he wanted it done.

    Been there 15 yrs and this has happened before but I just put it down to him having a bad day. And I a big boy and can take a bit of verbals every so often

    However... I've reached my limit on this one and am going in to advise him that 'no more' will be tolerated and that I won't stand for it going forward. He is also in charge of HR and so technically going to him is also going to HR

    Any tips on how to handle the situation tomorrow??

    Is there not a stipulation if you have a grievance with someone who is in HR in your contract? In some situations you go to their superior or his boss


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    #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    He is the the Boss. He is the MD and one of his riles is dealing with hiring and firing... HR.

    Outside of him... is a Director.

    I would rather clear the air with him. If it persists... then I have a problem cods our working relationship will have broken down. But by tackling him I feel I have given him a chance to reflect on same and he can adjust his attitute going forward.


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    #4
    Wanderer2010
    Registered Users Posts: 6,740 ✭✭✭Wanderer2010


    Bennysantini wrote: »
    Hi.

    Am going into to Managers office to tackle him over the way he verbally spoke to me last week in the office. He shouted at me, threw a few fcuks at me and just wipe the floor with me . All over something I did perfectly BUT not the way he wanted it done.

    Been there 15 yrs and this has happened before but I just put it down to him having a bad day. And I a big boy and can take a bit of verbals every so often

    However... I've reached my limit on this one and am going in to advise him that 'no more' will be tolerated and that I won't stand for it going forward. He is also in charge of HR and so technically going to him is also going to HR

    Any tips on how to handle the situation tomorrow??

    You don't have to take that kind of crap in the workplace off anyone. And you there 15 years too, very disrespectful. Do you have a poor relationship with your boss? Does he like you/you like him?
    That's no excuse obviously for how he behaved but I'm trying to get a background.

    You should ask for a few minutes of his time tomorrow, say straight out to him "I don't appreciate how you spoke to me last week, we are all adults and professional here and I will not tolerate being yelled at, sweared at and being demeaned in front of others. I have never been spoken to like that before and its not going to start now. I'm asking you now, informally, to never speak to me in that manner again. Is that clear?". Practice saying that a few times OP. If he tries to fob you off, just reiterate that this is an informal chat and you will be taking it higher if it happens again.

    If you feel you cant do this, repeat what you would like to happen to a union member if you are in one, or a HR rep, and state that you want to resolve any attitude issues immediately. Good luck!


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    #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Wanderer2010 wrote: »
    You don't have to take that kind of crap in the workplace off anyone. And you there 15 years too, very disrespectful. Do you have a poor relationship with your boss? Does he like you/you like him?
    That's no excuse obviously for how he behaved but I'm trying to get a background.

    You should ask for a few minutes of his time tomorrow, say straight out to him "I don't appreciate how you spoke to me last week, we are all adults and professional here and I will not tolerate being yelled at, sweared at and being demeaned in front of others. I have never been spoken to like that before and its not going to start now. I'm asking you now, informally, to never speak to me in that manner again. Is that clear?". Practice saying that a few times OP. If he tries to fob you off, just reiterate that this is an informal chat and you will be taking it higher if it happens again.

    If you feel you cant do this, repeat what you would like to happen to a union member if you are in one, or a HR rep, and state that you want to resolve any attitude issues immediately. Good luck!

    Much appreciated - exactly what I was looking for.

    As to our relationship ... am not particularly friendly with him. Different interest etc. Slightly older than me but in the business probably 25 yrs and so has risen to the top doing things his way.

    It (shouting / cursing etc at me) has happened before but in private (his office) etc and really he just 'acting the Big Man' and being awkward etc. In the past I might storm out and slam the door... but time it really hurt me and the other staff must think I have no spine etc. Some of these staff report to me - how can I demand respect from them when the Boss doesn't respect me.

    Problem - he is MD and as such is also the HR person as he hires and fires. So - in effect his is the top of the tree. Outside him is a Director (external investor) and that who would have to get involved if I cannot get this resolved.

    Thanks for the re-assurances. I can see him flip and literally lose his rag. I must try and keep calm and not get into a slagging match. That is going to be my biggest worry!


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    #6
    FizzleSticks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,172 ✭✭✭FizzleSticks


    This post has been deleted.


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    FizzleSticks wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    many thanks for the reply. But i went to his office on Monday and confronted him on same. i explained that I did not appreciate the way he spoke to me and that it was unacceptable to speak to me after the years of service I have given to the company. i explained all very coolly that i do not wish to be spoken to like that and that i deserve more respect from him on how i contribute to the company. He was genuinely shocked that i had the neck to approach him. He explained that he was frustrated and didnt mean to take it out on me but it was not a real apology, He could see that i was upset at it and that it took alot out of me to tackle him on it.

    however - i feel great now for tackling the problem straight on. i really dont think i could wait for another day and another argument... that would be like sitting in dentist office every day waiting for an extraction!! i can definitely see a change in his attitute to me....more friendly and more polite.

    i am definitely in a better place now and am ready in my mind if it happens again. his cards definitely marked going forward.

    many thanks to the posters above for giving me good wordings to learn off...it was very helpful.

    The lesson here is to tackle the situation straight away... and respect yourself! You are as good as anyone else on the planet and no one should be allowed to think they can walk over your feelings etc.


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