Angry neighbour

Edith123

Hi. I'm looking for some advice.
New neighbors recently moved in below me. It was Sunday , 12 in the afternoon when the neighbour nocked on my door and asked me if my child can stop running( he ran from sitting room to his bedroom to get something and back) and she said they can constantly hear him run and jump and that it needs to stop. I was shocked as the noise we make is nothing out of the ordinary, we are not making any unusual , excessive noise and the fact that she can hear us is not my fault, the building is made from very poor materials and the way she said it sounded as if my son just ran and jumped around all day! I have students living above me, who can get pretty loud and have parties, I too hear them walk and run around their apartment however I never had the need to go up and complain as I understand that that's the way it is when you live in a building like this, I would not go up and ask them to walk on their tip toes, whisper and not to have friends over. And I'm sure footsteps of an adult man sound much louder than a toddlers. I felt like my neighbour was completely in the wrong , especially considering that the noise she complains about happens during the day and not often. I politely said to her that this is a small boy and I can not stop him from running and that she has to be understanding about how this building is made. I was very annoyed. A few days after he was playing and dropped a heavy toy on the floor, the neighbour immediately started banging on her ceiling and today again he was watching TV and repeating some dance steps and jumped up and down about 3 times and they started banging very angrily on the ceiling. I feel like I can't leave in my own home, I cought myself giving out to my son over silly things out of fear the neighbour might hear, and will get annoyed. I feel harassed by her and like I can't enjoy being in my own home. So I'm looking for an outside opinion.

SCOOP 64

I think you neighbour should move, the building obviously isn't well insulated for noise levels and its not going to get any better, you cant keep a child on a seat all day and expect them not to move, any problems before this neighbour?

Edith123

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

I think you neighbour should move, the building obviously isn't well insulated for noise levels and its not going to get any better, you cant keep a child on a seat all day and expect them not to move, any problems before this neighbour?

no never had any problems before, in fact the lady that lived there before them was very fond of us.

SCOOP 64

Just carry on as you are, if she still persist then contact the landllord.

Samuel T. Cogley

Next time she bangs on the ceiling play the jumpy-up-and-down game with your wee one.

Edith123

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

Just carry on as you are, if she still persist then contact the landllord.

They bought that apartment, or did you mean I should contact my landlord?

Samuel T. Cogley

Edith123 wrote: »

They bought that apartment, or did you mean I should contact my landlord?

I'd make them aware in case downstairs make a 3rd party complaint to the RTB.

the_pen_turner

I would also make a note of when she is banging on her ceiling.

kravmaga

Edith123 wrote: »

Hi. I'm looking for some advice.
New neighbors recently moved in below me. It was Sunday , 12 in the afternoon when the neighbour nocked on my door and asked me if my child can stop running( he ran from sitting room to his bedroom to get something and back) and she said they can constantly hear him run and jump and that it needs to stop. I was shocked as the noise we make is nothing out of the ordinary, we are not making any unusual , excessive noise and the fact that she can hear us is not my fault, the building is made from very poor materials and the way she said it sounded as if my son just ran and jumped around all day! I have students living above me, who can get pretty loud and have parties, I too hear them walk and run around their apartment however I never had the need to go up and complain as I understand that that's the way it is when you live in a building like this, I would not go up and ask them to walk on their tip toes, whisper and not to have friends over. And I'm sure footsteps of an adult man sound much louder than a toddlers. I felt like my neighbour was completely in the wrong , especially considering that the noise she complains about happens during the day and not often. I politely said to her that this is a small boy and I can not stop him from running and that she has to be understanding about how this building is made. I was very annoyed. A few days after he was playing and dropped a heavy toy on the floor, the neighbour immediately started banging on her ceiling and today again he was watching TV and repeating some dance steps and jumped up and down about 3 times and they started banging very angrily on the ceiling. I feel like I can't leave in my own home, I cought myself giving out to my son over silly things out of fear the neighbour might hear, and will get annoyed. I feel harassed by her and like I can't enjoy being in my own home. So I'm looking for an outside opinion.

If its an apartment I would contact the Management Company and make a complaint that your being harassed by your neighbour. It could come under anti social behaviour and also inform local Garda Station community Policing rep, sounds like your neighbour has anger management issues

little bess

That’s so annoying! If she bangs on the ceiling again I would bang back with a broom or the likes, exact amount of times as she has 😡😡. Also, make a complaint with your landlord!

Thestones

I think this is a pretty common problem with apartments, I presume you have wooden floors?. It's probably making the normal walking around, kid playing echoing down on her(and she sounds extra sensitive!) I think there is some sort of soundproofing that can be done to floors in apartments, new floors with really thick underlay or carpet in some of the living areas. It would obviously be a cost she and landlord would have to discuss and agree to if it really is a problem for her. This isn't your fault at all.

Teyla Emmagan

She sounds completely mad, ignore her. This is part and parcel of apartment living. Banging on the ceiling is harassment.

893bet

Dont bang back. Nothing to be gained.

mad m

893bet wrote: »

Dont bang back. Nothing to be gained.

This, Good advice, no point poking the fire.....

AllForIt

This happened to me once. I was living in the house for 2 years without any issues when the neighbour moved out and in moved a young family with 2 or 3 kids. The kids seemed to do nothing but run up and down the stairs for hours at a time it drove me insane. Up down up down constantly. Playing I suppose. The insulation was so bad that the noise was almost as bad as if they were in my own house. I really wouldn't be the type of person to get annoyed by loud noise lasting for short periods or even have the nerve to go and knock on a door to complain about it but in this rare situation I had too or I would have had to move out. Anyway I had a feeling the family had moved down from Dublin, were on social welfare and were enjoying their new accommodation which might explain why they were going wild on the stairs. They did take my complaint seriously thankfully and cut down on the noise.

endacl

The next time she knocks on your door. I'd just start with politely stating that there is no point knocking on your door because there is no issue to be addressed as far as you're concerned.

I'd follow this with a friendly smile and a closed door. Don't bang back on the floor. That's just joining in with the foolishness and acknowledging the conversation. And let your landlord know you've a madser living downstairs.

Caranica

Thestones wrote: »

I think this is a pretty common problem with apartments, I presume you have wooden floors?. It's probably making the normal walking around, kid playing echoing down on her(and she sounds extra sensitive!) I think there is some sort of soundproofing that can be done to floors in apartments, new floors with really thick underlay or carpet in some of the living areas. It would obviously be a cost she and landlord would have to discuss and agree to if it really is a problem for her. This isn't your fault at all.

Op do you have wooden floors?

amtc

Please don't bang back. I'm a director of our management company and two residents who happen to be my next door neighbour's and the next one up have got into a tit for tat thing. It's not going well!

spaceHopper

Get into the habit of taking off your shoes and your son's shoes, get him slippers. That way if she complains to the management company you can show you are trying to address it and that she is being unreasonable. Don't stoop to her level, right not you are doing nothing wrong she's to the one knocking on the ceiling. Take note of the times she does it, that way you can also show that it's not happening late at night it's only while your son is up playing, she can't blow it up to be more than it is if you have notes to back it up.

Boots and high heals make a lot of noise on the floor and it travels. We had the same problems (before we had kids) our down stairs neighbour knocked on our door. Poor chap was at his whits end, the noise was driving him mad. I gave him my number and told him to call me when it was getting to him. A week later I got a call. I was way surfing and my misses was in the apartment pottering around but not wearing boots. The lady in the apartment next door was the cause she used to stomp around in boot having screaming matches with her daughter whilst running the washing machine at midnight.

Think he moved in the end.

Wabbit Ears

as Spacehopper has said you and your kids should not be wearing shoes in the apartment (if you currently do). This may be unusual to you ( there isnt really a tradition of doing it in Irish households) but its absolutly the norm anywhere where apartment living is commonplace.

My sister is driven crazy by her dopwnstairs neighbour. Its just herself and her daughter and they make a mimimum of noise but the downstairs neighbour goes crazy at any and all movement.

Shes put in carpets etc and does try to keep the noise down but these buildings just arent built properly with pretty much normal household ceilings between dwellings.

razorblunt

While I think "running noise" can be annoying at the end of the day it's a kid being a kid. I think I only complained a few times when the kid upstairs was running, once was at 11pm and the second was when an adult ran after him and the light fixtures were shaking.
Both taken on board each time. But you can hardly be expected to stop a kid from being a kid!

Definitely don't knock back!

Suckit

Not helpful to your particular situation, but does highlight the point that this is a very common issue.
https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=106027094&postcount=7606



My old apartment was below a very loud group of people, but at night it was crazy (not partying, two were deliery drivers so arrived home at 3am every night). The noise was every single night, after a while we got used to it. Eventually moved out and the new people couldn't stand it, complained until upstairs eventually moved out and then 4 students moved in. Party every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. They complained about them too, but the Landlord refused to listen that time as she had said she was reluctant to evict the first group, as it seemed the first weren't that bad after all.

JackHeuston

Harassed is a big word. Have you given any thought in bringing your kid to a green area or something? Are you sure you're not harassing your neighbours downstairs? Their reactions are silly but letting your kid act like an animal in the house is not the greatest behaviour either.

Paullimerick

Jack. I just wonder here if she owns her own apartment. If so has she not got the right to leave her kids run around and enjoy themselves. If this neighbour in my eyes was so worried about noise she would not have bought an apartment with one over head.

10pennymixup

JackHeuston wrote: »

Harassed is a big word. Have you given any thought in bringing your kid to a green area or something? Are you sure you're not harassing your neighbours downstairs? Their reactions are silly but letting your kid act like an animal in the house is not the greatest behaviour either.

Act like an animal? Where does the OP say anything other than it's a kid that ran to their room and back or dropped a toy or two?

And yes banging on a ceiling in a poorly sound proofed building, because of normal apartment living behaviour would be harassment. Neighbours either need to get real, take a valium or move to a detached house in the country.

tayto lover

Put on a bit of music when she bangs. It drowns out the noise.

facehugger99

JackHeuston wrote: »

Their reactions are silly but letting your kid act like an animal in the house is not the greatest behaviour either.

Wait, what?

Spanish Eyes

I think it is a two way street myself. One resident thinks there is no problem, another thinks it is Armageddon noise wise.

If it were me, I would ask neighbours if you could sit in their apartment for a while to hear the level of noise they are experiencing. Get someone to mind your child at the time and get him to run around.

If you do not hear anything they are bonkers and may be used to living in a detached house and have downsized, or you may hear it (but minimise it). Just see it from someone else's perspective maybe if you can?

I am not sure if you have them, but wooden floors should be banned in apartments above ground floor level. And of course there is the scandal of some apartment blocks not reaching correct standards either.

See both sides and compromise.

April 73

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

I think it is a two way street myself. One resident thinks there is no problem, another thinks it is Armageddon noise wise.

If it were me, I would ask neighbours if you could sit in their apartment for a while to hear the level of noise they are experiencing. Get someone to mind your child at the time and get him to run around.

If you do not hear anything they are bonkers and may be used to living in a detached house and have downsized, or you may hear it (but minimise it). Just see it from someone else's perspective maybe if you can?

I am not sure if you have them, but wooden floors should be banned in apartments above ground floor level. And of course there is the scandal of some apartment blocks not reaching correct standards either.

See both sides and compromise.

This is a very reasonable approach. At the moment the OP thinks the neighbour is crazy (and maybe they are) - but they have never heard the noise impact in the apartment below. There have been posts on here before where reasonable living noise in one apartment becomes unbearable in the one below because it gets magnified due to poor sound proofing.

If you have wooden floors it isn’t unreasonable to take shoes off when you come home to reduce noise. I leave early in the morning for work & my daughter told me the noise from my shoes on the wooden floor in the Hall was waking her. So I only put my shoes on at the front door as I’m leaving. Wooden floors & poor soundproofing in apartments can cause a lot of problems.

No-one wants to fall out with neighbours or have people banging their ceiling. It’s worth finding out exactly what the neighbour can hear before assuming they’re mad. If it turns out the noise is actually acceptable then the OP has at least tried everything & can put it down to mad over-sensitive neighbours.

People should never wear shoes in apartments, especially with wooden floors. In other countries with a history of apartnent living, this is the norm.

True, apartments in Ireland are poorly sound/vibration insulated but there is nothing worse than kids playing on wood floors above, especially bouncing balls or running around. The sounds seem to get magnified and can be really irritating for people who want peaceful living at home.

Its a good suggestion to go downstairs and experience your kid at full tilt upstairs so you have an idea what its like.

Socks/slippers and rugs help a lot.. and keep ball games for the park.

Caranica

Any modern apartment development I know strictly prohibits wooden floors in apartments. The op has been asked twice in this thread if they have wooden floors but they have not answered the question.